T3412812

Right, first of all i don't know if this query will be the first of many, or if it will be even permitted here. And if it's permitted here, then I guess I am fortunate in that regard. Before I sate the query, I want to give background on myself; not out of narcissistic or pity seeking measures. But out of personal clemency since i'm intrigued by this 'culture,' if I would be permitted to say so. Please be mindful, and considerate that this is the first time I've tried to voice this to a majority. When I was about 6 years of age, I was experiencing the beginning and ending fits of a plane's G-forces when I entered into Thailand with my parents. Like most frightened children, I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the plane and its scary jolts of loud noise. What happened next was perhaps the most vexing thing to happen in my life. I met a girl called Abigale, who had flaxen hair and teal blue eyes. She had the physical and mental charm of a 6 year old girl. She calmed me down during that flight. What was most perplexing was that she was the first one to introduce herself to me. She told me her name, I didn't do anything, I was simply to scared of the plane and its ephemera. Abigale of course was not real, I opened my eyes to try and find her among the seated passengers. No luck. Looking back on that experience. Perhaps it was a good demonstration of the cognitive effect of the 'third man syndrome.' And rather recently, I hazarded to chalk it up to Charles Bonnet syndrome. Since she stopped her appearance shortly. Though at random times, this girl Abigale. She would make contact with me, even when out of preconceived stimuli that I would have considered dangerous. Now, when I reached teenagehood, the sporadic appearances of Abigale declined. And she simply left me. And I was quite vexed. My school grades began to drop, and I was sardonic and bitter for a while. I wasn't mature at all in that dealing, and I certainly frown upon that fit. Now, I talked to my elder brother about Abigale years after she left me. His response was enlightening. He said that Abigale must have been my imaginary friend, and that he used to have one. I questioned my little sister, and she claimed that she had an imaginary friend called 'Fin.' I asked one of my close associates if he had an imaginary friend, in which he said yes. The friend was called ' Jae'. Now, during the imaginary friend talk with my elder brother. He mentioned tulpas. Not the tulpas as now, but the tulpas of Buddhist esoteric founding. The subject of the talk was on Alexandra David Neel's tulpa which was formed in the image of the jolly friar tuck-like monk of robin hood. You can skim through the article. Needless to say that was my first dosage on the fact of tulpa. Now, years later when I've transitioned into the nomos of society, my brother sent me this link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/17iiFxZ9PYXXxSqWHdU2YoPsGfJr90w8aIG_evqc1wiY/edit I researched various facts on the writer's aforementioned writings. There is some degree of credence to the posited terminology and traits he listed. I know that what is called a 'wonderland' is simply a paracosm. Which allows for interaction with the tulpa. Anyway, my brother sent me the document and I'm nipped by curiosity. The important query is this: Once you guys communicate with your tulpa through your made paracosm's, are you some sort of disemboweled voice? Or are you in there with them, with some sort of ephemeral body that mirror's your own appearances and apparel? The other, less important query is this: Was Abigale a tulpa I created? Or was she just something i conceived for comfort?