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About Xantan

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    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
  1. I don't think visualization is something you can finish. It's something you get better at, but i'm sure there's always room for improvements, whether it be strange poses, or nitty details like veins, hair, ect. You've probably read this, but if you can visualize your tulpa well, try improving your other senses. Work on their scent, or the warmth from their body.
  2. I wrote a long, awesome reply but then my fingers hit some button and now it's gone... *sigh*. sorry vinderex, you're getting the short version. I'm a swordsman by practice. I train on my own, and with the club i founded. I have tried sparring and training with my tulpa. it can be tricky, but useful and rewarding. First you must have a fully independent tulpa. They don't need to be vocal, they just need to be able to move freely without any interference from the host. Secondly you need your visualization skills up to snuff. You need to be able to keep track of short, rapid movements without slowing anything down. If you can do these things then you can train with your tulpa. As for your other question, yes your tulpa could mimic other styles. key word is could. Can you watch people practice and walk yourself through their movements without actually moving? Can you feel the way they shift their balance as they move and attack? Can you tell who's properly rooted in their actions, and who is not? If you can do these things then yes, your tulpa could mimic a style after a bit of practice. But if you can't, then you aren't prepared. Your tulpa could still mimic the style, but their understanding of it's movements would be fundamentally flawed because they can only know as much as you can. They may be far more fluid in their attempts, but the gaps in your understanding will still be there until the two of you work them out. Ps: i'll answer any other questions relating to this topic after work.
  3. @Nico; congrats on getting up to 45 minutes! That sounds very normal. Everyone goes through a time when they feel the way you do. This is the point where a lot of people start to get discouraged and give up. You have to remember that you are working with your tulpa. it's not just you forcing anymore. If you're getting bored, or aren't sure what to work on, talk to your tulpa. Ask her (or him) questions about themselves. If they like the colour blue, try asking why, or what shade of blue. Make your tulpa think. Even if they don't answer you, they can hear you. If they have trouble, give them time to think of it and ask them the next day if they thought of an answer. Making your tulpa question their beliefs can be a little scary for some tulpas. but as long as you're there to support them they will grow to be stronger and more independent. Lastly, try not to apologize so much. Your tulpa knows you're trying your best, and they've seen your improvements. They don't need you to apologize so much, just be patient because your tulpa is learning too.
  4. I think the term "forcing" was originally a reference to the difficulty of the process. You had to force your mind to accept the idea of your tulpa as a real entity. Basically forcing the tulpa into existence through focus and will, not forcing the tulpa to be what you want them to be.
  5. @Nico; That sounds normal. Concentrating is a skill like anything else. Set a timer for 20 minutes and work on staying focused until the alarm goes off. Once you can do that consistently start increasing the time by small amounts. @Borisz128; It sounds like you two are making great progress. Those initial stages of vocality are amazing and exhilarating but can also be frustrating. I don't think there's anything wrong with your mind's ear. I think you just need to keep with it and practice listening to her, while she practices speaking to you.
  6. Hey shulk, Do you mind if i start with some questions? i need a little more info to offer help. Firstly, how many tulpa live in your mind currently? Your post indicates 2, but i want to make sure. Secondly, have you tried explaining to them "why" you need them not to do these things? Like how if they try to force you into sex around your parents, it's going to make you feel awkward and uncomfortable. It could also make your life more difficult if your parents start asking you why you're acting funny. I would recommend being clear that you respect their expressions of self, but that it doesn't mean it's ok to do that whenever they want. There's a time and place for everything. It is my personal belief that a tulpa shouldn't knowingly try to make your life more difficult.
  7. Thank you everyone who's responded so far. I'm going to reflect on what you've all said. To LinkZelda specifically: Your impressive response is based on only a single post, but more than a bit of it is accurate to me. It's going to take me longer to read through it a few times, digest what you've said, and reflect on it. Please bear with me.
  8. I'm sad and lonely, and i miss my tulpa. I stopped working with her a while ago when i realized i didn't have a reason for her to exist, and never really did. it's not like i decided i didn't have a reason and then stopped spending time with her. it's that everything she existed for was being taken care of by real people, and it took me a long time to realize that was why i always had trouble staying committed. Socially i'm well adjusted. i have lots of close friends, i'm charismatic, charming, and funny. Meeting new people is easy, and i always make a great impression. it doesn't take much effort for me to organize something fun with any of my friends. I have a girlfriend too. I care about her, but i'm not in love with her. After my last relationship, i'm not interested in opening my heart up, but she knows all this and still sticks by me. I even have a good relationship with my parents. I can't think of any reason for her to exist, except this selfish feeling of loneliness. And even if i decided that was enough of a reason, my friends, girlfriend, and family already monopolize my time. Even if i managed to find a hour a day for my tulpa, she deserves to be more than just another thing on my daily to-do list. At this point i feel i can't give her the life she deserves to have. I'm posting this because i want to hear other opinions on my situation, good or bad. please take a few minutes and reply, i'd really appreciate it.
  9. 4chan. Someone posted a link to Mythos and Raina's dropbox/blog, after reading i must have found a link here.
  10. Anything with a bit of weight should work. A couple metal washers or a bolt nut should work. Otherwise a piece of cellophane wrapped over some coins should even work.
  11. Nayan, I find it very difficult to focus on my tulpa when i'm angry as well. I get so frustrated my mind just clouds over, and it's difficult for me to think of anything else. When i ask her about it, she seems to describe it like an angry storm and when i ask if she tries to get through she says "nope, not touching that." (but she'd be there for me if i extended a request for her help).
  12. Hey i could use some follow up help on this topic. I tried google searching for anime binaurals, but the only results seem to be pages and pages of stuff about ear cleaning. It's a little too far in the creepy fetish direction for me. can anyone provide me with some better terms to search? I'm interested in trying this to see if it improves the finer points of her voice.
  13. Personally i think of puppeting as a learning tool. It can help your tulpa to learn how their body is supposed to move. But like Amber was saying, it's only really holding their hand while they learn to do it themselves. When i was puppeting my tulpa, it was only to move her with me, or to have her sit somewhere i could better focus on her. Try to relax and not worry about them moving. Even if they're just sitting there, you'll probably notice they don't just lie there like a lifeless puppet. If you have a humanoid tulpa you can try what i do. The next time you're walking somewhere, or just pacing, think about how you're walking. Think about how it feels when your foot makes contact with the floor, how the muscles in your calves and leg flex when you shift your weight forward from one leg to the other. Think about your posture when you walk, the position of your spine, your shoulders, ect. Try to focus on those little details that your body performs without your notice. Once you can feel those sensations, include your tulpa. Send the sensations you're feeling to your tulpa, narrate what your body is doing. Narrate the sensations of your muscles as you feel them, as if you're explaining how walking works. When you and your tulpa have practiced this awareness, they should be able to move in a much more natural way. If they have trouble don't puppet them. Correct them verbally, and attach the sensation. Eg: *tulpa walks and knees don't bend right* *you*"almost, but your knee shouldn't bend that way because the bones don't allow for that movement, it feels like this" *insert sensation of leg locked straight, unable to bend further* I hope this helps.
  14. I did something like that when i took a trip to my mother's house in Montreal. It wasn't till i arrived that i found she didn't have internet, and i don't really watch TV, so i found myself with limited options. here's what i ended up spending my time doing: - Reading with my tulpa. like 2 books in 5 days. There were times i'd get too "into" the book and forget to send the information to her, but i did my best. by the end of the trip she was assuring me she was following along even if i wasn't 100% focused on her. - exercising more. - narrating more. Basically i'm saying that sushi's idea has some serious merit; but no books? i'm not a skilled enough mancer to spend hours in my wonderland without getting frustrated. Even with just the lack of internet and television, i made really solid progress in just a few days and started setting some good habits too.
  15. Building on Jimmy's final point, If they point to how he's portrayed in your book, go back to the fiction argument. I assume Alecto knows he's not the character of the book. The book is a fictional portrayal of him, much like how an actor is not the character he plays. He doesn't have magic powers, it's just a book. Now secondly there's your pollution advocacy. Without passing judgment, some people might see it as a sign of mental instability. Advocating pollution is a very abnormal stance, and abnormality is stereotypically associated with some mental disorder. Not saying it is, just saying that's what people jump to when confronted with something far outside their scope of understanding. It could be that since your journal talks about your pollution adventures, they could be seeing alecto as a negative influence, convincing you to corrupt the environment. Or they could see your fascination with pollution as it's own form of instability, like how an arsonist sees beauty in fire, and assume your tulpa is just another symptom of the root disorder. I guess it really depends on how your parents view your polluting. What do they think? if they have no problem with it, then at least you only have to convince them that alecto isn't some magic creature that kills people.