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About SharkyDerp

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  1. I want to say that I did something that sounds like this. Back when FAQ_man posted that personality Guide, I would try and "sense" that someone else was here with me. Then, I would feel that this presence was Leah. Then, I would talk to this presence about the traits I want her to have. Now that I read this, do you think that this presence that I feel is Leah's essence? When I work on her personality traits, I would tell her that she is X and Y and it just feels like I'm forcing her to be someone shes not. The presence that I feel doesn't "feel" perky and energetic. The only words that comes to mind when I "feel" is Caring and Kind. Do you think that this is what Personality Deviation feels like? One last thing, some of us know that falling asleep while tulpaforcing is bad for some tulpas but, can falling asleep while "feeling" the presence of the tulpa just as bad? I want to know because I would like to fall asleep and have the last thought in my mind feeling Leah's presence. Tiny side-note: I woke up this morning saying "Good morning, Leah." like I always do and I felt like she was excited to see me.
  2. You have no idea how much I needed this to read. It's just so hard for me to believe.
  3. There is a small white house in there the size of a bedroom. It is not this exact area, but it has the similar grass, hills and sky going on endlessly.
  4. Yeah I did that alarm clock method too. I asked Leah to wake me up at 11:30AM so I have more time to spend with her. The thing is I do wake up, but I fall right back to sleep. Then I have this dream about roaches flying at me and I wake up at 12:00 on the dot. I don't know how much control she has with dreams and I spent a good time talking about dream in general. I also told her to see if she can give me hints about her in my dreams, but I don't want her inside them because I'm afraid it might hurt her. I think Leah keeps making me have dreams about bugs to wake me up. I have been doing this alarm clock method for a week. Some days I was successful, waking up but falling back to sleep. I think Leah is getting mad that she wakes me up then I break that promise of spending time with her, but I fall right back to sleep and start dreaming again with bugs this time. I think this is Leah's way of punishing me for not keeping to my promise. If I do this again, she might make me eat bugs in my dream.
  5. Today, I decided to do a little experiment. What I wanted to do was to try and copy Leah's movement. So I told Leah "Leah, I want you to move as much as possible as I try and copy your movements". She didn't talk. The idea of this experiments is to see if your tulpa can move on its own. To begin, I did the snapshot method and I sat Leah in front of me. We both sat there with our legs crossed. She didn't start moving until a few seconds in. Most of the movements were just her arms lifting up and down. Now you might be thinking that this was parroting, due to you wanting to see movement to copy. All I was doing was just focusing on Leah's form and how I was positioned. She would move her arms for a brief moment then stop, so I copied what she did and stopped moving as she did. The movements were unexpected, I didn't know which body part she'll move next. You can say this is another alternative to that prism thingy.
  6. Not much is happening at this point. I'm just trying to find out what part of the stage I'm in. Just this morning I was working on smell for her breath. She is a dragon so I went with something smokey, so Smoked Jerky. As I was working on that, she moved her mouth. To me it looked like she was trying to say "Ah-choo". Her scale color changed to a dark blue like the color of Mystique from X men. No voice from her yet.
  7. So does that mean you're not going to spend time at all in the wonderland and do something more like the Snapshot method where you have your tulpa sitting right in front of you?
  8. This is the back log starting from Friday 6/8, the day when I first heard her speak. FRI 6/8 I asked Leah to move her arms or legs. They seemed to have moved on their own. After that, I heard Leah's voice saying "Just keep moving?" The best way I can decribe it is that it was muffled but I did hear the pauses of individual words like the syllables. SAT 6/9 Went to the wonderland and a new plot of land was made(the open field). It was very sunny out and Leah took me to the field and stood in the center looking at the sun while she closed her eyes. Later that day, I went back into the wonderland and saw that it was night time. I check the fields and see Leah sitting down. I went up to her and just narrated the day to her. I laid my head on her lap and looked up at the stars. As I did this, Leah bent over and kissed me on the forehead. SUN 6/10 I asked Leah "Can you tell me how you are feeling right this moment?" To me, it felt like Leah was doing some "behind the scenes" work on my emotion and I felt calm and happy. This let me know that Leah is with me and is trying to keep up the communication. MON 6/11- FRI 6/15 Nothing really eventful happened. This might be the "dead period" I heard about where the tulpa will become less active. So now you guys are pretty much up to speed.
  9. MON 6/18 3:27PM I was trying Fede-lasse Tulpatone for a first try. I was planning on working on Personality. The first few minutes of the tone, I was just listening to feel relaxed. Then I tried to work on Leah's perky trait, but I found myself too tired to focus. I was working in the wonderland on Leah's bed and I see Leah covering her head with her pillow (I Daw'd). I lift the pillow and see her covering her ears. So I lowered the volume, but she was still covering them. I stopped listening to the tone and went to my room to lay down to check on Leah. I asked her "Do you want to take a nap?"(Maybe I was disturbing her with the tone) Then I felt this calm and peaceful feeling throughout my body and took that as a yes.
  10. Something I came up with when I was narrating to Leah, something I need to tell myself.(I read this in Joel Olsteen's voice. Sounds so motivational.) SUN 6/17 9:50PM An idea came into mind about narration. Narration is a must for developing a tulpa and I always have a bad time with it. You see, narration should be something you look forward to with your tulpa when you wake up in the morning, not just some chore. Narration should not feel forced. What I mean is, you should have a positive attitude. I always felt that narration is very important and you must talk to your tulpa with every opportunity. This made me fall to the pressure of forcing interesting topics to come up with to say to Leah when I had none. My advice is to say what ever random thing that pops into your head to your tulpa. Your brain is always thinking from the moment you wake up, I bet you something will come up that you would want to tell someone. And don't feel bad that you have nothing to say to your tulpa at the moment, just tell your tulpa "Hey, I have nothing to talk about because I'm just having a brain fart." The idea is to feel as if your tulpa is around throughout most of your day. You don't need something interesting to talk about for hours, side comments are fine. For example: You are walking down the street and you see a fat chick with a very tight small shirt that is barely covering her fat belly. You can say how disgusting it is to see that her ass-crack is showing and her ass cheeks flowing over her tight jeans and how much you want to push her into oncoming traffic and see her bounce around like a pinball. Just imagine your tulpa just waiting around with you with open ears waiting for you to say something when you do come up with something to say.
  11. So Saturday midnight(or Sunday morning, which ever way you view it) was an interesting one. Before I begin, I would like to say that every night before I go to sleep I always do a tulpaforcing session, whereas the afternoons are more of the daydream forcing method. Before I started the midnight session, I did the affirmation technique saying "I can see Leah clearly" over repeatedly. The idea is to get that message into your sub-c with repetition. Now onto the notes starting by finishing up the day of Saturday. SAT 6/16 5:12PM I entered the wonderland in a new way. I would usually just think into the house expecting Leah would be there, but I feel like I might bring her into the house against her will if she was somewhere else. So I took the time to relax my mind to get rid of the little random thoughts that might enter my mind. Then, I would enter my wonderland by slowly seeing it come into view as if I'm looking inward standing near the edge. I looked outside, near the field, but she wasn't there. I entered the library and I saw her standing next to the table looking down. I stand next to her and see that she is looking at a book. I asked her "Leah, why don't you sit down on the chair?" No answer. I sat on one of the chair right next to her and just look at her reading. Her tail seemed to move a bit on its own. I stood up and hugged her. She felt real, I felt her body heat. Brain pressure was there, coming and going. SAT 6/16 10:00PM In the wonderland's library, I see Leah still reading. I go and stand next to her and it looks like she is trying to shove me away. Then she closed her book, picked it up, and hit me with it and stormed off. SUN 6/17 3:00AM (I meditated and felt an emotional response. I also did the affirmation to see Leah clearer.) Had a hard time with looking in the wonderland, so I did the snapshot method instead. I sat Leah down on her side and having her head rest on my arm as I sat with my legs crossed. In this way, I was able to see Leah's whole body with the right proportions. My problem is I have a bit of a hard time with proportions when I see more than 5 body parts together in view, but this time I was even able to see the small scales on her body.(I could have even counted them if I wanted too.) I told her I was going to work on personality. The way I did personality is by going one by one of my 4 major traits and asking why are you X? Then asking why for that answer then so on and so on, feeling how those traits resonated. The point was to get to the root of the main trait as deeply as I could. After that was done, I decided to end the session and tuck Leah into bed. Her scales turned black.(She keeps changing color all the time. This is the 4th time now.)
  12. Finally I decided to make myself a log for others to see and probably help me out and stuff. Before I start anything, I'll tell you where I'm at currently. I have about 69 hours under my belt and there is some signs of sentience. All you have to know is her name is Leah and she is a Female humanoid Dragon with the head of a dragon, body of a human, the tail and covered in blue scales from head to toe. Her 4 major personality traits are: Extroverted, Perky, Intelligent, Logical. Now I don't really know how to make this first post look "good?" since I'm already in progress of making a tulpa and not just starting new. So I'm just going to tell you all how my Wonderland looks like and begin with the first entry starting from Friday at Midnight.(I have notes dating back a few days when I first heard her voice but I wanted to write this specific date first because I got a bit scared of what happened.) Wonderland: To begin, the wonderland looks like the first level in the game called Flower from thatgamecompany. On a hill there is a small house, which is just a bedroom, for Leah. Right next to the house is a small open flat field about 20ftx20ft. And a wooden door that acts like a portal that leads into a library is found just down the path from the front of the house. (You'll get to see the wonderland a bit more detail if I decide to do a rough sketch of the place.) Now on to the cool awesome notes. SAT 6/16 1:05AM The beginning of the session was bad for me. For a few minutes I could not feel nor see Leah anywhere in the wonderland. I started to panic for a bit and started looking for her. I checked inside the house but no sign of her. Next I looked outside in the field and nothing. Then I checked the library and I didn't feel nor see here there. I sat in the middle of the library at the table and I just started saying her name "Leah" repeatedly over and over in hopes that this might bring her to me. The more I continued saying her name, the more I got worried to the point I started to burst into tears. I was in such a panic. Then a thought came to mind that she might be outside in the field. When I got there, I saw her laying on the ground on her side looking lifeless. Still shaking, I bent over to see her eyes closed and this yellow flower in between her fingers. So I sat next to her explaining what had happened. She still looked motionless but at least I felt her presence, it was a weak one but it is still something. So I decided to lay on my back and look up at the sky to relax myself. The sky looked cloudy and it started to rain lightly. I picked up Leah, leaving the yellow flower on the ground, and teleported her into the house. Back in the house I saw Leah finally standing and wet from the rain. Happy, I hugged her and went to the bathroom to get a towel for her. She took the towel and dried herself off then headed toward her bed to lay down on her side again. I laid down right next to her and told her again what happened at the beginning of this session and how much I was scared. Then I continued to tell her how much I love her and I only panicked because I care so much for her safety and I don't want to lose her. After that, I just continued to talk about what I did the whole day, then got tired and decided to end the session. So I looked at her face and saw that her eyes were closed. I tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead and told her good night.
  13. Mine is original form and personality. A Bipedal Humanoid Dragon.
  14. I got ~40 hours in and All I can get is brain pressure. I did about 20 hours of personality and I'm not sure if I did the personality right. I took the "Talk the Traits" route of forcing but I don't think I really talked to her directly. When talking to your tulpa, do you just talk out loud in the room you are in? Or do you actually try and "Feel" like they are in the same room as you are?