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About bigman

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    Austin, TX
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    I am a hopefully up and coming 21 year old artist living in a new city and trying new and sometimes scary things. This is one of them.
  1. Here is a link to a blog post I wrote describing my experience from day one to now, which is incidentally 12 days.
  2. Don't know if this will help anyone in particular but here is a link to a post I wrote about my meditation habits and a three-fold conscious limit that I use to help with concentration.
  3. I think, as usual, we have it backwards. While your example with centepedes dilemma is sound, I think that by trying to call this function a servitors function is missing the point entirely. A servitor is, to the best of my knowledge, a conscious projection or "hologram". Any actual functionality that it has is completely up to you. Meanwhile the conscious ignorance of how you walk, how your heart beats, or how you even breath is a function of something we know even less about: the subconscious. Your subconscious is constantly in control of things that are better done without your conscious attention, like with the examples you have given. A servitor (and more to the point, a tulpa) isn't a prerequisite to the functionality of your mind but is a direct result of your conscious will to access those functions.
  4. ^^^ Pretty much the shortform of what I'm saying here and here and, to some extent, in my essay. so... thanks.
  5. 1> I fixed it. Sorry, I guess... 2> I thought I explained what I mean when I use the word consciousness, and by siphon. I am not implying that you are creating a schism or fracturing a single consciousness into several (because that is impossible). By consciousness, I am simply referring to your mind and yourself insofar as you are aware. I will word my arguments more carefully in the future if that is still not clear. 3> refer to the above 4> Yes and no, but it can be said that a tulpa has (as far as I can tell by testimony) a better view of your innerworkings than you do of its. When you break this relationship (i speculate) by making their inner workings transparent to you, you damage their identity. 5> First of all, I know that, which is exactly why I am speculating on it to the best of my ability. Second of all, these are speculations and preconceived notions. It says so in the title. Deal. 6> No, actually. A person can be sane but still have some unhealthy neurosis. I refer to it as a "psychological landscape" to help support the use of such abstract terms as "psychological components" "personality traits" "constructs" "conscious" "subconscious" and so on, of which all of the above listed terms represent complex "landmarks" (aka significant figures) within the human psyche. 7> I'm ok with people having a problem with my thoughts because I'm only looking to document my own views and understanding there, so that is not a real problem. also, refer to the above. 8> 1) Being young affects your ability to understand yourself because the ages of puberty are ages of constant psychological change. I could go on and on about why it's not a good idea (and I might later on). As for being ill equipped, I never said that you can do harm by EXPLORING your own mind, but simply by altering it without a thorough definition of it. Explore it all you want, through introspection or visceral awareness or what have you. But something like creating a tulpa requires an intense ability to know yourself which in itself requires an understanding of what your made of. So yeah, explore all you want.
  6. here is something else I wrote addressing the problems pointed out by you guys with my first essay. Thanks for your feedback and feel free to point out any more problems you have with my theories.
  7. You are right that I did not really explain what I meant by "separate yet internal consciousness" and that is mostly just poor writing on my end. But I do mean what I said and will explain it in another post soon. But to help bridge the gap between everything before that claim and the claim itself, I should point out that the "different identities" aren't actually succinct identities but " different arrangements of psychological components" that gave the illusion of different identities. Again, your question about why this ability can "create" a consciousness is still valid and I will address it in a new post soon. I'm sorry I did not elaborate on this more. Basically, the mind is wired to ignore or "take for granted" certain things so that we can "focus on the task at hand", so to speak. An easy example is that your nose is always within your vision but you are often not aware of it because you are looking "beyond" your nose. The same goes for your hands, especially when you are using them to work. Your brain has the ability to "see through" your hands while you work on something because you can't help but clutter your vision with them (an easy example of that is that you can type without seeing every button because you have an imaginary construct of the keyboard in your mind to help you know where each button is). A more controversial but still relevant way that "too much meaning" can be perceived is what we know as the "religious" or "spiritual" experience. there is a small section of brain (and this is neuroscience, which i am mostly unfamiliar with so please forgive me for not being more specific) that allows you to assign "weight" or "meaning" to an act, sensation, or event in the real world. When this area becomes more active (and we do this for a number of reasons, but particularly in a "hypnotic" state, which you will be hearing me talk about more in the future) we feel a strong attraction or significance to whatever it is we are focusing on or perceiving. The more we focus and engage on a particular thing, the more active this area becomes (physically) and as a result we value it more. It's part of why we feel that people we know for a long time are more important that people we just met. Too much meaning is really about perspective since it usually is only considered "too much" if we experience it at an inopportune time. For example, if someone has an intense religious experience while driving 80mph on a highway they could crash. A moment of intense meaning is also a moment of intense distraction, and your brain is constantly regulating what is safe at what times. I hope that clears that up.
  8. I have written down what I'm doing for personality creation here VVV Again, sorry for the whole tumblr thing, it just really is easier this way. Not sure if this is interesting to some people, just thought I would put it out there.
  9. Here is a guide I made for another way to exercise your concentration using chevreul's pendulum. I didn't make a tumblr to get likes or anything, it's just a convenient place to put this stuff. I'm going to be making more stuff like this in the future because I'm documenting the entire process of making a tulpa as I am in the early stages of it. Also writing essays, doing research, stuff like that. Also, if I dont reply for a long time (like days or a week or so) it's because I don't own a computer and I don't know when I'll be able to use this one again.
  10. Hey, so just to put it out there, here is an essay I wrote about why I believe that tulpa can be relevant to everyone. A proper introduction, I am kind of an outsider to this community and am only just starting a tulpa of my own, but I am documenting everything as I go. So if that's interesting to you I'm going to be writing a lot of essays like this in the future. I'll start a thread every time I write something that I think is worthy of discussion. I didn't make a tumblr to get likes or anything, it's just an easy place to put these kinds of things, and it's organized. tl;dr (if that was too long then you might want to turn and leave, just saying) there is a link to an essay I wrote about the relevance of tulpa to individuals and society. If I don't reply for a long time (as in days or a week or so) it's because I don't have a computer of my own and I don't know when I'll be able to use this one again. _____EDIT______ I wrote another post identifying problems with the first one. you can find it here