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About Tyrane

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  1. Day 1144 It doesn't feel like any time has passed right now, but I remember it pretty clearly. I don't know how to describe any form of identity in my head at this point, I believe I'm just self-concious or defensive about it - but if I try to commit any thought about it I simply don't know how to explain who is who or what I've done, it's been that way for the majority of the last while now. I think Kiara is still there now, but I can't tell anyone apart, I remember some of her images. But I believe on the most part that people aren't individual, you form a stable/consistent enough sen
  2. I'll try to keep this as brief as I can if I can help it. I'm not sure how many other people have encountered it but I've found over time that the more I can link someone's humanity to their identity I lose faith and respect for them and avoid them as much as possible. There's pretty much only one person I value above any others that I know and I'm afraid my value for her is slowly declining as well, I've noticed however that any/all tulpae seem to lack this connection to humanity and I've always valued them higher than anyone I've known up until now. My psychologist has mentioned a few
  3. The ones that hang around in my mind or seem to be lumped as issues that I can remember are things such as seeing different figures (such as Salad Fingers) appear from time to time and drive me into boxing myself in my room, scratching at my skin because of various irritations (changes from time to time in reasoning) and hallucinating traffic accidents and freaking out the moment they peak (I'll jump or scream a little then realize nothing happened). These are the things I've told people at some point or another so it's all I can remember right now, hope this helps.
  4. This is one of the things I've tried and at least personally I can confirm it works to an extent, like a lot of techniques for forcing hallucinations though I'm afraid of taking it /too/ far since it can become a slippery slope. Anyway the biggest examples that are relevant to this I have to share; when my water cooling runs low there is a consistent high-pitched sound made whenever it's attempting to remove air bubbles but is lacking liquid, it requires a really finicky nozzle and once or twice in the past I've lost this for a while and had to deal with the sound, eventually hearing the so
  5. Yeah, I was going to go three nights without sleep and try it two hours every twelve but I have issues staying up through the night since I'm too afraid of some hallucinations and empty doorways to go out and get any food or drink, so I end up running out of energy anyway, I think I'll try a two night later this week with the ping pong balls which should be better than nothing. Also, I'm not totally sure what happened because I'm in a phase where my memory skips out but I had a huge backwards skip where I went from Tuesday morning to Sunday morning, gave me time to realize my mistakes over
  6. Okay so so far, I've tried blindfolding myself and listening to consistent white noise for about an hour at a time at least once or twice a day the last two or three days (I'm also trying to stay awake an extra four or so hours a day at least, so I can't really count in 'days') and so far, some results. The first time was sort of strange, like being in a living dream. I was aware my eyes were open and I was laying down, but at the same time I didn't feel the need to move my body at all and so I felt strangely detached. Eventually I would notice patterns in the white noise and strange lands
  7. I'll try experimenting with this sort of thing over the next few days with different deprivations and what not, will be back with result(s) later if I get any.
  8. Fighting the urge to read the other posts or any time stamps, I'll just go ahead. About two months into being with Kiara, she mentioned Fate. I told her I didn't want to hear or think about him again and she urged me back to it, she knew he was in 'pain' Basically I avoided continuing from him because he intimidated me, I didn't think I could handle him and I would feel afraid of him, I still do in a way. The point is, for those two months I more or less completely blocked him from memory, he was barely scraping life because I rejected all memory and I genuinely forgot he existed. He say
  9. >What kinda work you does? College Student >Got a tulpa yet? What stage yall be at? Three, Imposing, 'Finished' (I don't want him any further than communication, so far) and developing >How'd you get here? How long you been into this shit kid? I don't remember how I found this, I started making one without knowing and a week later I was here, about four months ago I think, maybe five? >How old you is? 17 >R u a boy or a girl and dont be a smartass? Boy >What other hobbies you be havin'? Gaming, art, piano >Anythin' else you wanna add, nerd? I live in Western
  10. Either Kiara by Bonobo because it's nice, fits her personality and its her name, or Lady Brown by Nujabes, no particular reason for the second one but Kiara loves it especially. Fate doesn't care for music and Alice is developing.
  11. A monolithic 'alien' tulpa the size of skyscrapers which towers over everything in huge strides
  12. I started wondering about this a few weeks ago, if two tulpamancers came across by some incredible run of luck, how would you know they were? Maybe there should be some trait if we're open to finding one another? Living in Western Australia I don't see this realistically happening *to me* any time soon ._.
  13. Slowly becoming more insane, living 'alone' in Canada or some cold place sitting in warm isolation from all the fuckers out there doing what I want to do with Kiara and a select few I respect and falling into a fairly similar routine with a few random experiments here and there until I find something I can seriously dedicate intense time towards. (Probably Piano or Math related) I'm not sure how many people, I would like an external relationship, but that's complicated to deal with due to current attitudes and behaviours as a few things are so I assume somewhere between now and then a fair
  14. I get this phantom tail sometimes, also get phases where I can't pinpoint where my arms are even though I'm looking at them, is that a thing?
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