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About SilverRevlis

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    Resident Insomniac


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    I play various instruments and have a habit of forgetting to eat.
    I also do all the drugs.
  1. It's the best feeling ever. Well, other than swimming while on acid. The next person wants to go swimming while on acid.
  2. No, though I have gotten my pal to eat hamster shit after saying it was a raisin. The next person is a former choir boy.
  3. I didn't really have any issue with making them. I just told them to do what they wanted and let it play out from there, so my choices were very much so lax. I began creating my first on accident, then I killed it. Then I found out about it again, made a new one, saw sentience, and killed it. About three more dead tulpa later, I found this site, learned that they weren't mind demons, and didn't kill them. The first of my current ones was made as a companion, the second two were unplanned, and anything I make from here on out is just to satisfying my god complex.
  4. I used to fuck up and do something that makes me look like an idiot and think, "God, I'm glad nobody saw that." Now, I just think, "Great, I'm going to get made fun of for that." That and using the bathroom is rather uncomfortable.
  5. The weird part is that I told them no to the elf sex. Anyway, I managed to form a peace treaty between the elves and the remaining dragons after nearly killing and later healing the head dragon in a fight. When I healed him, they saw me as a god and pledged their loyalty to me. That, and they gave me one of their I hatched eggs and what they called 'the dragons spirit', which from what I've noticed allows me to both communicate in their language and turn into a half dragon. Lily saw it and ended up fawning over it for a while. So, now I have to hatch a dragon egg and conquer the rest of the world. Then, I have to conquer the rest of the universe. Shit, I think I'm turning into the archetypical super villain, minus the cape and castle surrounded by lava.
  6. So, something new. I've always had a few different races in my wonderland, ones who would sometimes appear when I would fight shit in my world. Today, I ended up fighting some type of zombie creature, though they weren't human. Tere was also a giant dragon fluting around in the distance. The group and I fought our way to the dragon, and I found an encampment of Orc/goblin type creatures building up a barricade and charging up a large obalisk like red crystal, which had a beam of energy shooting into the sky. Arrows were shooting over the barrier, killing several of them in the process. The dragon was still in the distance wrecking havoc, so I made my way over to it. Now, dragons are a common thing in my world, so my first though was to try to reason with it, but when I got there, it started trying to attack us. So, I subdued it and flew it back to the Orc encampment, trying to kill the surrounding dead things. The crystal broke I'm the process, and the dead things all fell back to death. The barricade broke from te resulting explosion, and a small army of elves stormed in. The dragon, still atempting to break free and fight me, was finished off by me. When it crashed to the ground, the elves had their bows aimed at me. Their leader said something to them, and they lowered their weapons and bowed. The leader bowed at my feet, and I told me that she couldn't speak to me unless commanded. I told her she was permitted to speak, and she explained to me that the dragon I rode and consecutively killed was the dragons king, and that by both breaking h and killing him, I had become their version of the boogey man. Also, both them and the orcs had been attack by this dragon, and that they orcs wanted the glory of killing it. They used to crystal to creat an army of undead to use on the dragon, and were also using them to go to war on the elves so that they alone would have the glory. She said that by killing both the dragon and the orcs, as well as recounting several other times when I saved the elves, I was their king, and that is why yet were unable to speak to me or look upon me without permission. So, to list the perks of that, I was supposed to have a group of guards, a haram of women, and rule of the kingdom alongside their queen. I told them I didn't need any of it, but I had them build a doorway to their kingdom for me to use. Alice, patty, and lily got pissed at the haram part, according to lily because they felt I didn't see them in a sexual light. After explaining to them that I didn't create them as sex toys, they calmed down. It's funny, because people want tulpas for sex, and mine got mad that I didn't see them as fuck dolls. I can't win. Tl;dr I'm king of the elves and the dragons fear me. Also this site corrupted my tulpas.
  7. You do remember that I both said that they helped me to direct my own and that I subscribe to the belief of psionics. It's not called 'unecesarry insanity' for fun. I'm aware of my own psychosis.
  8. My bird died today, due to the fact that his previous owners were elitist bastards who didn't feed him properly and caused him severe malnourishment that couldn't be fixed. That actually does have something to do with my companions. Lillinette helped me to suppress my emotions and keep a clear head, as well as help me direct my energy into him so that he wouldn't be in pain as much. I asked them if doing that helped, and they said yes. I'll go into what I did for that some other time maybe, but for now, I'm just going to say that my tulpa can access memories, interject their thoughts into mine, suppress and control my emotions, and are at the point where I can to some extent see and feel them. So, this is my quick letter to say thank you to Alice, Patty, and Lily for helping me through this, and thanks to McCartney for being an amazing friend to me for as long as he could.
  9. Yes, ill take some peanut butter. What's all the Nutella hype for?
  10. Green and iced tea are the best. English breakfast and earl grey are also good if we're talking hot tea. What happens when you put a lime in a coconut?
  11. Don't have one. As somebody who worked hard to be able to play an instrument, computer made music angers me. That, and it hurts my ears. Favorite type of jam/jelly?
  12. Yeah. I'll try to get it written down once I'm done dog sitting. I must say, as much as my parrots annoy me with their screaming, at least they don't try to fuck me when I do push ups. They still try to eat my food though.
  13. This will by no means be a brief entry. If I where you, I'd grab some popcorn. If you don't have that, grab some chips. If you don't have either, congratulations on not being an average American. So, in continuation of the previous entry, I was at a point where the ground beneath my feet was cracked. Lillinette for te most part hated me, Patty was distraught that I had left, but overjoyed with my return, and Alice already knew that I would leave an come back. I'll explain why she knew this later in this entry. For the next few days I started just talking to them. For the most part, I would congratulate the twins on their progress, and just make idle conversation with Alice. At one point, I was to Lily about something, then made a comment about how my train of though manages to confuse even me at times, and told her that she would be able to understand what I mean since she had acces to my thoughts. She told me that she was unable to know my thoughts and emotions, so I asked why. She showed me. I was in a room after that. In the center was a large glass tube filled with a red essence which extended both downwards through the floor and upwards towards the ceiling. The room itself was a grey marble room, but I could be off on the colour and texture. I asked where I was, and Lillinette answered with "My consciousness". I asked her why I was there, and she told me that in order for her to understand me, I would have to first understand her. I started examining the room, and when I touched the glass tube, I was sucked in. I was then surrounded by a red fog, and images, ideas, concepts, emotions, eerything that a mind can conceive of, was surrounding me. I started trying to figure out what each thing meant, and as I would find out what they meant to Lily, they would vanish and be treplaced by a new scenario. After solving each puzzle, I realized that they were meant to get me to figure out how she thinks, how she feels in relation to certain thoughts, ideas and scenarios, and how her emotions reacted to certain stimuli. Eventually, after spending what felt like hours solving puzzle after puzzle, the fog cleared and I found myself in a little girls room. Once I was there, a little girl who I later found out was Lily started talking to me. We talked or a while about everything, confirming my answers to the puzzles I was given, how she felt when I left, how she feels about me, about her, anything I could think f and then some. After a while, she told me that I had asked everything I could, and that I needed to talk to her. She sent me out of the area, and I found myself back in the dark room with lilts hand on my chest. She asked me what I saw, and I told her. She started crying halfway through, so I comforted her and let her know that everything was alright. I again apologized for leaving, and reassured her that I wouldn't leave. I won't say anything about how she truly felt about the situation, for her privacy, not how she really feels inside for the same reason. All I will say is that the technique she showed me allows for a greater understanding of your companion, as well as a better relationship. If there isn't one, I may write a guide for the procedure. On another note, back to the story. I then procedure to do the same thing with Patty, which again showed me things about her that I didn't know. I preformed the same procedure with Alice, which has probably benefitted her the most due to the fact that I now know things that she wanted me to know, but couldn't tell me. Now, as I said early, this all started so that Lillinette could understand me. Well, she can now, although I couldn't. When I go into their consciousness, sub conscious, soul, heart, whatever name you choose, the area is always different except for one detail; there is always some kind of 'essence' that belongs to the person. Being that Alice has a piece of my 'essence', hers and mine are near identical, while Lily and Patty have different energy. Now, when I went into my area, I found that it was dark. There was a small pool with my own energy in it, however I couldn't get to it. Lily told me that this was because I don't allow myself to know what I really feel and think, but she could know just by being there. I didn't try to find out, because I know how dark I've become over the years, and I'd rather not find out who I truly am. I will mention though that ever since that day, I will have versions of myself pop up in the dark room and try to talk to me. Whenever they appear they make it so that I'm unable to contact any of my tulpa, and they har told me that they are different parts of my inner voice. I make them leave whenever I see them. But that's not the point. Quite frankly, I'm not sure what the point is anymore. I've been awake for quite a while and I probably drank too much, so excuse any rambling and improper grammar in this entry. I'm tired now. I think I'll attempt to sleep, and likely fail at it. I will say that there is one more thing I must say later, though its more about what they can do than what they have done, so it will be shorter. God only knows I could do with speaking less. -SR
  14. Well, it's been a while, haven't it? I suppose I should make an update on what happened since I was last here, though its unlikely that many people will see this, not counting glitch. Anyway, ignore my nihilistic approach to writing for the moment, and I'll get to documenting my experiences. So, several months ago, I was in a very bad place. Frequent nosebleeds, a civil war in my family, my mother asking me to get her pills to kill herself with, these kind of things. I was still working with my tulpa, however at the time Patty and Lili we not yet vocal, sans the occasional "yes" or "no" response. I eventually had a mental breakdown, and just before it happened, I held it back for long enough to say goodbye to the three in my head. Alice tried to stop me, but I pushed er away. My reasoning wa that I wanted them to die, simply because I didn't feel they deserved to feel all the hell that I had to feel. Three months later, I had recovered slightly, managed to recover some mental health after buying a couple parrots, and started trying to cope by smoking more and drinking whenever possible. One day, I wanted to check on them, to see if they had died off. I got back into my dark room, and the whole place was wrecked. Books throw off the shelves, blood every where. It was a reflection of the hell that I went through, and that's not a guess. I'll go into that part later. I used some of my previous psionics training to 'scan' the area for signs of life. I could detect three faint signals in the world, all in various places. Afraid of. How things might have effected them, I didn't go after them. I left a small amount of my own energy in the room, so that they would e able to know I was there. I felt the energy I sensed stir, and I got out quickly. Two days later, I went back in. The blood was gone, but I didn't notice anything else because immediately after my arrival Patty rushed up to me, hugged me, and started crying. I would have been amazed by te fact that she could move on her won had it not been for that Lily grabbed me and threw me into a wall. She started screaming at me, yelling about how I was a price of shit, a pussy, that it was a disgrace to be created by me. My nose started bleeding again, and a pressure started rising from behind my eyes. I knew that if I let her rage continue to build, the pressure of it would cause me serious pain, so I had to stop her. I won't go into what I had to do, but I will say that it didn't harm her, but it made it so that I couldn't sleep for a few days. Alice wasn't mad at me, but she did feel abandoned by me, that she made clear. I told them that I would be back the next day, and I was. When I got back, it dawned on me that when I had left, neither Patty not Lily could move or talk at a very proficient level, and that they could now at this point do it perfectly. To cut this already verbose entry a tad shorter, Lily fought with me again, before I apologized to her and told her that if she hates me, it was her choice, but that I refused to abandon Alice and Patty again. We talked the next day, which I'll get into later. Patty and I talked for a while, she cried, I apologized, and she fell asleep on my shoulder. Alice and I had a very nice discussion, neither of us cried, and in the end she said I needn't apologize because she knew that I wouldn't be able to handle my life and would try to 'spare' them. I'll go into what happened afterwards soon, even if nobody reads this, but for now, I have to take care of a few things. On another note, the three are able to just interject their thoughts into my head whenever they choose now. For example, I was talking to the dogs I'm watching in one of those stereotypical 'cute' voices, and Alice started making fun of me. God, no parts of me can go without mocking me.
  15. Well the bleeding is unrelated. I was writing a song and I've been playing nonstop since ten o clock at night yesterday. Family issues are things I would rather not mention here.