dreampunk

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About dreampunk

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    Heretic

Converted

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    Male
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    Northern Europe
  1. Log entry #8 30.12.2012 Had a square forming session, lasted 30 minutes. Managed actually to form a square about once or twice. Got quite relaxed, at some point near the end, the static of the phosphenes sort of stopped moving and became clear so to speak. The static was easy to observe as it was not fleeting and morphing anymore and then it was stripped of all color except black and white. After a while of that the darkness became three-dimensional and I found out that it was quite easy to clearly visualize almost anything for a short time, 5 to 30 seconds. Faces, buildings and objects began to appear, basic hypnagogic imagery.
  2. Log entry #7 29.12.2012 Last two days have been both mentally and physically exhausting and had only so much time and motivation that I didn't have any sessions. Today's sessions lasted 20 and 10 minutes. First one was earlier, began by visualization exercise and ended with square forming. Then took a nap about 15 minutes and immediately had a square forming session. Nothing spectacular really.
  3. Log entry #6 26.12.2012 Started the day with a short morning session of visualization. About six minutes of visualizing her facial features. Nothing miraculous happened. After work had a nap. After waking up I shut my eyes after turning off the alarm and tried to force the square and found it easy and could repeat almost at will and made it in different sizes. It was like the static of the phosphenes but definite black or lack of static forming the square. Then session solely about the phosphene control (or should I say square forming). Lasted 20 minutes. Didn't have any success and got frustrated and stopped. I think I will be having one more session today, beginning with visualization and trying to form the GOD DAMNED SQUARE until I succeed. I have a strong feeling this is the key element of the whole phenomenon, being able to affect your perceptions. I'm still planning on following my plan, but I'm moving the imposition exercises far earlier than I originally thought. Depending on my ability to force the god damned square and what follows, I might abandon the visualization exercises completely and just impose the entity bit by bit. But until then I'll visualize daily. Logical fallacy of the day; Appeal to probability - assumes that because something could happen, it is inevitable that it will happen. Also somewhat related interesting links http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/11/111207-hypnosis-hallucinate-color-psychology-brain-science-health/ http://www.psychosomaticmedicine.org/content/28/4/351.full.pdf
  4. Log entry #5 25.12.2012 Short one again before work (six minutes). Was trying to concentrate solely on the face and used an image as an aid. Had it on my computer screen and whenever I was losing the exact shape or feature(s) I would open my eyes briefly enough to refresh my memory of the exact details. Will update later today, have to go to work now. Update. I have done all the previous (even the first failed project ones) sessions in the "western lotus position", sitting in a cross-legged position. I have been avoiding laying in a bed, because it's too comfortable and I could be easily lulled into a haphazard daydreaming state or even fall asleep. However I find that sitting in a cross-legged position is somewhat uncomfortable and makes me just rush the session. It however promotes alert concentration. Switched all the lights off and put my headphones on and got to bed. Session lasted 45 minutes. Started with the autosuggestion and proceeded to the phosphene control thing. **I know I have deviated from my original plan, but I think the imposition part should be worked on in a tandem with the visualization.** I spent most of the session on the phosphene control and managed to force the square to appear. Also succeed in other shapes and for some obscure reason a triangle is easy to force. I found myself from time to time (I was way more relaxed than in the other sessions) drifting in unrelated thoughts and images and when I realized that I just snapped back to what I was doing. Still concentrating on anything was easier but I kept drifting shortly to unrelated things. Last part I (for about ten to fifteen minutes) visualized my to be hallucinatory entity. Visualization was quite clear as long as I kept her moving and even when visualizing something based on (memory of) a picture I had to keep her smiling or other facial expressions. I think from now on I should do the cross-legged sessions only in the mornings and keep them short (as they already are). Or work on my back muscles :D. Cognitive bias of the day; Confirmation bias - a tendency of people to favor information that confirms their beliefs or hypotheses.
  5. Log entry #4 24.12.2012 Well today was a busy day. First work then Christmas dinner with family. Had really not lot of time for myself, only about an hour and I have to go to sleep soon (as I have to go to work tomorrow), so only for routines sake I had only a short session (six minutes, visualization). I did everything in a sort of hurry, but I surprised (I'm pretty exhausted and barely coherent at this point) how easily it was to concentrate on the visualization. It was also of fairly good quality considering everything, I just shut the lights and put the headphones on playing music and visualized her just dancing to it changing outfits every so often and once without any clothing. Face was difficult to visualize and it began morphing and I had to few times "force" it back to how I want the face to appear. I'm planning on prior to falling asleep, dabble with the phosphene manipulation thing. I'm happy I pushed myself to go through even a short session.
  6. Log entry #3 23.12.2012 This time separate sessions. Autosuggestion session lasted six minutes. Visualization session lasted 12 minutes. I used my chosen meditation music this time. I noticed it is easier to visualize her moving and doing active things when listening to music. Without music it was just static, like a photograph. There wasn't as much slips in concentration on other things as there was without music. However concentrating on anything specific like the facial features, the image began to flee. So I just visualized her doing things; dancing to the rhythm of the music, jumping around, in sexually suggestive poses (these were easy to concentrate upon as long as it was moving), trying on different outfits, taking off outfits and so on. So I think the benefits of the music outweigh it's drawbacks at least in the beginning when I am not even planning on visualizing the exact details. I have been obsessing about the exercise in the first link (Advanced Vision Control Tutorial), I spent about hour and a half in sort of mixed napping/exercising :D state. I was going to take a nap after I got home from work, but found out although I was exhausted, I was unable to fall asleep. But I decided I'd get "physical nap" anyway and laid there in bed and remembered the exercise. I set off my phone alarm to wake me 25 minutes later (I did this for hour and half, always setting it to alarm me 25 minutes later) and drifted in halfway to sleep and tried to do the simple exercise of changing anything even the slightest. I only managed once to form a triangle and once a circle (they were brief, but I actually "saw" them, not like visualization, but more like if the shapes were actually there, just like the phosphenes, so nothing incredible here. I was just excited I could actually manipulate them even if it took almost two hours). The remaining time I obsessed about trying to form a square but was unable to do so. But this "exercise" was more just drifting between napping and being awake, so I am not counting or logging it as one and half hour of exercise as it wasn't. Most of the time I spent half-asleep and when feeling more alert I just tried to manipulate the phosphenes. But that tutorial got me thinking what if I could, say within a month, generate at will a shape of my choosing. It would certainly help with the imposing part later. I think I'm going to mock around with this (nothing rigid, just say when I'm about to go to sleep or take a nap something) and see if it's worth anything. I however continue with my plans and continue to establish the routine. Also for no reason, fallacy of the day: argumentum ad ignorantiam or argument from ignorance - assuming that a claim is true (or false) because it has not been proven false (true) or cannot be proven false (true).
  7. Log entry #2 22.12.2012 Again whole day spent procrastinating. Had both sessions in a row. Lasted 8 minutes. Again no music. There seems to be great drawback on not using music as an aid. The sessions duration is dramatically decreased compared to the previous ones. Although I find myself to be able to visualize better without the music, I need to sort of exercise more effort to remain in a meditative state. I was able to visualize the facial features clearly only briefly and the images fast escaped leaving me to state where I couldn't visualize anything. Well at least I did the have session. Found out interesting related links: http://www.dreamviews.com/f32/advanced-vision-control-tutorial-80879/ http://www.scribd.com/collections/3645517/Self-induced-hallucinations
  8. Log entry #1 21.12.2012 This time I chose not to use any music. I found it too distracting when visualizing. I did both autosuggestion and visualization sessions in a row, there was no pause between. Session lasted 11 minutes. I began by repeating the autosuggestion script over and over for few minutes. Then I proceeded on visualization. I imagined the form (which is based on a real person, but I added a detail the person doesn't have, same tattoo which I have but in different location) completely naked at first (as I intend to do for at least in the beginning until I get it more or less complete). I was having somewhat hard time (no pun intended) visualizing especially the face. Best way to describe it was as if it disappeared leaving nothing behind, I was unable to visualize anything else, it was just blank. I used all my mental effort to just force to see it again and again. The rest was somewhat easier to visualize. I was pleased that I was able to concentrate only to the visualization exercise almost completely, my mind wandered only few times and I was able to bring my attention back. The hardest part was getting to it, procrastination is a bitch. So for few weeks I'm intentionally keeping my sessions extremely short to establish the routine.
  9. At this point I'll have to answer probably not. I'll just focus mostly on improving my visualization skills and the actual visualization. I may try it when the visualization requires less effort (when I'm more competent at it) and see if it adds anything to it. My approach here is quite minimalistic and I try to "discover" the most minimal way to create the entity. It is easier to pinpoint the actual requirements for tulpa making when there's minimal amount of components. So essentially I am breaking the whole tulpa phenomenon into parts and start experimenting with the most plausible one first. Depending on the success of this one (and possible insights gained), I might experiment next with the dissociation (of personality) part. Then combine them in a third experiment. But as I am expecting that it might take a year (for no reason at all, purely speculative) I will only keep those in the back of my mind for future workings. But currently I believe the narration might be relevant only when I have achieved the magical step of having successful imposition experience. I see no harm in there, but minimalism is the magic word here. Also it's something to try after several failed attempts at imposition, as it might be as critical step as it is claimed to be. Short conclusion: I'll follow my minimalistic routine. If I find out I'm unable to progress at some point, I'll add something others have found helpful. Also adding only one thing (exercise, technique or what not) at a time, so it's possible to pinpoint the actual thing that helped. This way it is also possible to write somewhat exact guide (as always individual results may and do vary), because it's critical to not only have first hand experience, but also to know what works and most importantly why. Next is for the sake of ending with a quote, not intended as a message to anyone. Just felt like adding one. Also Fight Club is a great, but overrated movie. Now I am just rambling. "Hey, you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility!" -Tyler Durden, Fight Club
  10. I have to refer you to my earlier posts in this thread about the experiences I have had that leads me to conclude why I think this is possible. I just find it implausible based on my current experiences and beliefs. And as there is really no other way to change this than direct experience, so I will not make unnecessary assumptions about it. Also what explanatory power does the sentience assumption really add? And how would it even be possible for the sentience to become divided? Let's assume a separation of identity occurs and a new personality appears. The separate personality/identity exhibits all the characteristics of sentient being. Let's also assume there's a second entity specifically (a servitor, hologram or whatever) made to mimic these same characteristics. As they both exist only within your mind, you have very little tools to distinguish between the two. How could this even be done and why is it even relevant? Now I know why I feel like I'm constantly repeating myself when replying to your messages. I thought I was quite clear on this matter on almost every previous post I made. Here's the extremely short answer: NO I AM NOT!
  11. This post is about how I go about the next project which I will begin working on tomorrow. It is not intended as a guide. Nor is it a schedule as it doesn't contain dates or even estimates of the duration of whole process. It is divided into twelve phases. Every step builds upon the previous and the lengths within every phase are presented as a minimum necessary to realistically be able to proceed to the next. I felt I needed some sort of battle plan to accomplish something worthwhile. Lengths of sessions are intentionally short to combat procrastination. The Regimen Phase one (establishing the routine) Two daily sessions lasting at least five minutes per session. One session is purely autosuggestion and the other is visualization. This phase is most about just acquiring the habit of doing them daily. Phase two (going deeper) Lengthening the visualization session to last at least 15 minutes. (Slow and steady is good). Phase three (merging the sessions) Adding autosuggestion before visualization exercise and adding visualization after the autosuggestion session. Essentially making the both sessions identical. So two sessions per day, both begin by autosuggestion followed by 15 minutes (minimum) of visualization. (Every sessions done after this has autosuggestion before until noted otherwise). Phase four (See no evil, hear no evil, feel no evil) Lengthen the visualization to at least 20 minutes per session. Add two sessions of at least five minutes in length; one being about imagining the tactile stimulus and other about audio stimulus. Phase five (sequencing senses) Two sessions per day lasting at least 30 minutes per session. Combining the previously added two short sessions to the longer session in a sequence, keeping them separate. Phase six (steps and stairs) Still doing the previous sessions twice per day. Adding two sessions (lasting at least five minutes per session) where the sensory stimuli are merged instead of being sequenced. Olfactory and gustatory stimuli are added to both long and short sessions. Phase seven (three sessions now) Shorter session must last at least 10 minutes. Longer sessions remain the same, but after doing everything in sequence, doing them also simultaneously for at least five minutes. This is done twice per day. Phase eight (three is one) Sessions consists of only imagining all of the sensory stimuli simultaneously and autosuggestion. No more sequenced working. Sessions last at least an hour. *** After this I do not even suggest minimum times (even if they are for myself), for it is quite impossible to estimate anything realistically. *** Phase nine (realism is overrated) Every session is done with eyes open and ends with imposition exercise. I wont proceed further until I experience (even for a brief moment) a realistic imposition. Phase ten (am I enlightened now?) All sessions are slowly becoming imposition exercises. Phase eleven (Look mommy, I am a wizard!) Every session is imposition exercise. Phase twelve (A GOD AM I) Imposition requires little to no effort to maintain and is constant. So this is my battle plan. The most critical step is the ninth. If I do not succeed in the imposition (even for a brief moment) within a year, I consider this project not worthwhile to continue working on.
  12. I don't feel like repeating same things over again. So I'll just reply shortly. I base my workings on my previous experiences and logical conclusions, not on anecdotal evidences. I currently haven't experienced anything related to separate identities or sentience (how could it even ever be separate?) I'll just have to assume it isn't plausible nor required. As I pointed out earlier, if something worthwhile related to those topics emerge, I will not outright discard them, instead I'll examine them thoroughly. Open mind is not blind belief and it is of utmost importance to exercise critical thinking in these extremely subjective phenomena.
  13. I will now dump the rest of my logs in one post. Log day #2 16.12.2012 Due to procrastination my session was brief and undisciplined. I was about to go sleep and decided to do something related (to form a daily habit). I turned off the lights and put on my headphones. I proceeded without the autosuggestion part straight to visualization. I did only have vague plan of what I was going visualize, letting the form develop as I progress. I started visualizing the general form and it developed to something I didn't prefer. Next I began talking to her (in my mind only) and asked (or told) about her name. A name popped into my head before I subvocalized the sentence. The dialog was something like this: Me: Tell me your... (At this point the name just popped into my mind.) Me:..name. Before interpreting it as something that it wasn't (sentience) I remembered how similarly I named my dog. I kept talking to her, telling her to show me her face while visualizing the facial features. I got somewhat clear image of her face but it was quite difficult to maintain and required heavy effort to do so. Then I just tried to memorize the face and visualize some details. The session took about 15 minutes and I immediately went to sleep. Log day #3 17.12.2012 Headphones on and lights off. I started with the autosuggestion part. Then I started speaking with the entity. I tried to remember the previously imagined face, but I found out I couldn't. I told her again to show me her face and again started to visualize about the facial features. This time completely different face started to emerge. I visualized her lips and eye color purple, so visualizing them only would trigger me to remember the rest of the facial features. I found this helpful and I could repeatedly see the face and even add some minor details into it. When I was satisfied I wouldn't forget the facial features, I began visualizing the rest of the body (just generally). When I was happy with the general look, I visualized the body turning extremely pale (as a distinct cue or trigger similarly to help me remember the form and I also wanted it to be pale). At some point I found out I was getting more and more distracted by the song so I decided to end the session. Session took about 25 minutes. Log day #4 18.12.2012 Headphones on, lights off. Autosuggestion routine. I began recalling the facial features about thinking the triggering colors (purple eyes and lips and pale white skin). Also I found it extremely difficult to recall the exact facial features, but succeeded briefly. The form however constantly morphed (growing taller and such). It was quite frustrating and I got very easily distracted by the music. Session lasted about ten minutes. Log day #5 19.12.2012 Yet again procrastination made me almost miss out completely. Heaphone, lights, autosuggestion. I began visualizing the triggering features and could with little effort recall the previously established features and forms. This time I just visualized them again and again to strengthen the form so it wouldn't morph and evolve every time I started session. Session lasted 20 minutes. I found out the writing helps me quite much to pinpoint what I actually want to accomplish. In the light of my writings, my actual workings are quite undisciplined and haphazard. I would like my workings to reflect my ideals so I am terminating this "entity" and this project. I actually had brief session of visualizing the entity to going back to the orb of darkness and slowly dissolving into it, leaving only darkness behind. I also formally stated in my mind something along the lines: I have chosen to abandon this project. Goodbye (name). I will however continue with a new project. I will base the form and face on a real person. This is to help me visualize (stable form right from the beginning). Also I did plan out some kind of personality to the previous entity which I will not be doing for the next. I want my workings with this one to reflect on my written thoughts about the whole phenomena. Also I'll make a somewhat rigid schedule. The next project is based on these ideas. I will try to create a thought pattern so automatic that it closely resembles an obsession. There will be a casual (not logging it particularly, habit formation pattern which is basically trying to think about the entity at every waking moment) part to this schedule. This is to be done until no effort (to little effort) is required on my part, so the pattern of thought is constant and automatic. Then there is the visualization aspect in which I log daily. I already know how it will look, feel and sound like. I attribute no personality qualities, but will not discard any emerging qualities however. Finally the autosuggestion/meditation part. I will (at least in the beginning) keep these separate sessions and log these also. I will make some basic autosuggestion routine and might add something as I progress. Mainly I will log just what I have done and how long and the feelings and thoughts afterwards. I will begin with short sessions (trying to eliminate the effects of procrastination which make it difficult to start these). Something like 5 minutes per session, incrementing gradually over course of weeks or months to full hour per session. I also try to have them at same time of day every day. Habit formation is the key word here. I will spend this day making somewhat rigorous schedule and the exact message of the autosuggestions and somewhat formal visualization routine. I will continue to post in this same thread. Also tomorrow is significant date for me personally (every year, not related to the doomsday hype, or specific year) so it also good day to start anew.
  14. I'll start with the sentience. As there currently exists only anecdotal evidence due to the extremely subjective nature of the phenomena, I will attempt to keep my anecdotes as accurate and useful as I can. This is achieved by basing them on scientific and logical principles and theories as much as it is possible. In the case of assuming sentience, applying Occam's razor leads me to conclude (because it offers no more explanatory power but assumes more) that it is an unnecessary assumption. Thus I'll favor the approach I formerly stated. I agree partly with you however. I believe it can affect positively on the imposition (this is of course purely hypothesizing as I just started, having nothing to test on and anecdotal evidence is just not reliable enough to come into any conclusion). I think fooling the mind into thinking the entity is real might make it easier to impose. Having more rewarding interaction with my hallucination is quite irrelevant to my current interests. My experiences might prove me otherwise, but I make it point to not assume any more than it is necessary. Even then I should critically examine and outright doubt the sentience to conclude anything about it. And in the end, implying true separate sentience would also imply something metaphysically separate as well. And that would be just ludicrous based on our current understanding of the laws of physics.
  15. Is this thread some kind of inside joke or are you guys serious?