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About Mulder

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  1. I would be more worried about if your tulpa considers it as cheating and feels jealous. It would probably be more upsetting to your tulpa since she essentially is forced to become a cuckold and watch every time you're with your girlfriend. I don't think your girlfriend would think that it's cheating though, if you told her then you would basically just be saying, "I had sex with my imaginary friend. I'm so sorry." and that would probably just make her think that you're completely insane. I doubt that cheating would be the first thought that pops into her head after hearing that.
  2. Bothering with real relationships with real people is just a waste of time to me. Every moment spent wasted on a relationship is a moment that you could have spent with your tulpa. I value the interaction with my tulpa far more than I value interaction with other humans.
  3. I've been working on creating my tulpa for the last several months with very limited success and throughout this I've been looking around and trying to find any substances that might make tulpa creation easier for me. Initially tried adderall with no success. You can focus better, but I found it very hard to get into a meditative state while on a stimulant. Any kind of introspective thought seemed especially hard on these types of drugs, but that may just be me. For the last two weeks I've been experimenting with mushrooms though and the results have been amazing so far. I was attracted to mushrooms because of how easy it is to obtain and grow them and I was curious if psychedelics might improve the process of creating a tulpa. After a short period of getting used to the altered state of mind, I found it was very easy to tulpaforce while under the influence of the drug and get into incredibly deep meditative states that I have never felt before and depending on the dosage emotional and verbal responses from my tulpa were happening almost instantaneously after beginning a session of tulpaforcing. Up until this point I have never been able to actually have any conversations with my tulpa and I was beginning to seriously doubt if it was even possible for me to create her, but now it's like she has just come to life and there is nothing vague or ambiguous about how clear these responses have been. Does anyone else have any experience with using psychedelics to aid with tulpa creation?
  4. Isn't lucid dreaming a completely visual thing though? Not sure if it's possible to bring a tulpa into a lucid dream though. I've been practicing that for awhile and it feels completely real while visualization always feels more like the third eye effect for me.
  5. Does anyone know what the limit for visualization clarity is? Is it possible to get to the point where you're basically having closed-eye hallucinations of an entire world inside of your mind? Almost like an awake form of lucid dreaming. For example, when I visualize it mostly seems to be in the mind's eye. Visually I'm still seeing the blackness of the inside of my eyelids, but my mind is in some way painting this foggy picture of a world that I can see but at the same time I can't see it with my eyes. Does this change as your visualization abilities improve?
  6. Everything about the way she was moving seemed so animalistic though. She seemed angry, but it was very different as well. More of like some kind of primal explosion of rage and fear. Very disturbing, can't get the images out of my head. The only time I've ever seen anything similar to this has been in videos of insane asylums or wild animals.
  7. Two very strange developments happened with my tulpa today and I wasn't sure which question to ask first, so I figured I would just combine it into one thread. Anyway, it has unfortunately been awhile since I've tulpaforced. I got caught up in some projects, I procrastinated, and it had been nearly two weeks since I spent any time with my tulpa. I felt guilty about this and tried to get in a long tulpaforcing session today to make up for it. The strangest thing happened when I started tulpaforcing though. I sat down and visualized my wonderland, I said hello to my tulpa, and I began to start visualizing her but then she appeared and jumped at me, almost like a wild starving animal biting at someone walking by his cage. Before this I have never seen, felt, or heard any real response from my tulpa at all. I don't think I was parroting because this surprised and startled me enough that I actually recoiled and jumped while I was sitting. After this I then saw vivid flashes of her wildly pacing back and forth and I kept trying to visualize something else because I was sure I must have been parroting but the images kept flashing in my mind's eye over and over again. I tried talking to her and calming her down as best as I could and it seemed to work to some degree. In the last image that flashed in my mind she was just sitting on the floor, almost in the fetal position, but relatively calm. What exactly just happened? Here's the second strange part though. I spent the next hour narrating to her, I didn't see any more images during this and it was back to a regular tulpaforcing session, but then suddenly I started seeing bits of text that seemed to flash around my peripheral vision. Not clear enough to read, but definitely visible. If I tried to focus on the text then I could make out the words, but it rarely formed anything coherent. I don't think this was parroting either though because they felt like intrusive thoughts, kind of like unexpected images invading my mind. Very strange feeling. Even though I couldn't make out any coherent messages it definitely felt like she was attempting to talk to me though. Could this have been her first attempt at communication? I've heard of emotional and verbal tulpa responses, but I've never heard of text responses.
  8. Been wondering about this for awhile. I know that you can never really completely finish the personality, but there's a couple methods that don't even include personality development and they just let it develop naturally so I guess personality traits isn't really something they think about when they tulpaforce. What do you do during your tulpaforcing sessions after personality though? Aside from visualization since I've heard that you're supposed to get sentience before you work on visualization. I know that narration is a big part of working towards sentience, but I figured that's more of something you do throughout the day, just narrating your activities to your tulpa as you do them and not really a sit down, close your eyes, and tulpaforce kind of thing.
  9. Wouldn't it be easier to just recreate your wonderland in a lucid dream, invite your tulpa into the lucid dream, and then just enjoy the wonderland inside of your dreams? Could touch objects in there too.
  10. I've been pretty occupied these last few days and I've neglected my tulpa. I think it's been almost three or four days since I've had a tulpaforcing or even narration session and I can't really feel the presence of my tulpa like I used to be able to. I want to just start tulpaforcing again and go back to where we left off, but I feel really guilty and worried. My tulpa isn't vocal yet, but I'm worried that I may have killed her by not giving her any attention and then I'll try to tulpaforce, not feel her presence, and realize that I actually did kill her. Is this possible? How long can a tulpa live without attention before they just fade away?
  11. I can't shake the feeling that I'm just not doing this right. I think I've gotten down narration and I definitely feel connected to my tulpa when I'm narrating for long periods of time, but I'm not sure what I should be doing when I'm forcing. Here's the part of the guide that has me confused. I've picked out the 30-35 traits, but it's the internal dialog that confuses me. I'm not really sure what I should be saying. I usually start off with something like, "Hey, let's work some more on building up your personality. You're kind and... Ugh..." and at that point I just don't really know what I should be saying. The guide says to spend 15-30 minutes on each trait, but I can barely get 10 seconds in. Am I supposed to parrot or visualize some scenario inside of my mind where my tulpa is responding to a hypothetical situation and using that trait or am I supposed to do something else? I'm just really not sure if I'm supposed to be describing these traits through words, almost like I'm telling her a story about herself, or if I'm supposed to be visualizing how these traits manifest as if I'm watching a movie inside of my mind, but at the same time I've also heard that I shouldn't visualize until I'm finished with the personality so maybe that's not right. Sorry if that was long-winded. ADHD medication makes me type a lot and I'm fairly confused.
  12. She isn't sentient already? I assumed that tulpas were sentient as soon as they start talking.
  13. I've been wondering about this for awhile and haven't really heard anyone explain it in full detail yet. Once you have a sentient tulpa then how clearly can you hear their voice? Is it vague enough that it requires interpretation (was that just some random thought or was that my tulpa?) or is it a very clear voice inside of your mind with a whole different way of speaking that you instantly know is your tulpa? I know a lot of people's tulpas haven't achieved sentience yet, but for the few people that have could you describe what exactly it feels like? Is it so clear that you could just ask a question inside your head right now and get a clear unexpected response as if you were having a back and forth conversation with someone?
  14. I've been working on my tulpa for the last few weeks and I think I'm finally starting to make some real progress, but I'm still not sure if I'm doing it right. I have some experience with meditation, but tulpaforcing doesn't feel anything like that. There isn't that hypnagogic altered state of mind feeling to it like you get from meditation, it's more like I'm fully awake and I'm just having a conversation in my head with a person who isn't responding yet. Is that how it's supposed to feel? Anyway though, I've started to do narration and I think I'm finally starting to "feel" her in the back of my neck like the guides described, but I'm not sure if it's just a stress headache since I'm basically sitting here and narrating every single thing I do to her for hours, even this message I'm typing right now or a game I might be playing. Am I on the right track or am I doing this all wrong and I'm just giving myself a headache?
  15. I've heard that you shouldn't stop tulpaforcing even after achieving sentience, but I was wondering how the tulpa feels about this. Tulpaforcing is usually based around defining their personality, right? So wouldn't they be a little offended by this if they're fully sentient, can communicate with you, and you're still sitting down and basically telling them about themselves and defining their character traits for them? I always felt a little weird about working on personalities to be honest. It makes sense to give some basic character traits to a tulpa so they have a base personality to build off, but if it gets to the point that you're spending hundreds of hours on personality and describing every little thing about them so there's no room for deviation then doesn't this take away some of their free will and basically just turn them into programmed puppets?