MagicHats

Members
  • Content Count

    80
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by MagicHats

  1. 12/16/13 - 1/11/14 Wow it's been a long time since I posted. I was so sure that there had been a post or two between then and now. Me, Cora and Tess have had a good Christmas and end of the year. I even had a bit of a birthday party for her on the 29th and it was a blast. I've got the physical look down for my official 3rd tulpa. Now all I need to do is reboot the basic "core"(as I've come to call it) of Alexi and put it in and see how things go. I feel that recording this has made 2013 better than 2012 as far as my life and other such things go. While it's all tulpa stuff I think it's more that it's a tulpa blog that seems to help me. I'm pretty excited to see how things are going to turn out. Tess and cora have also been great in improving my day to day life in smaller ways(I'm more optimistic. I'm still a bit of a shy hermit but Tess kinda/sorta possess me sometimes to interact with others and we both get the benefit). Maybe I just need a regular/my life blog and then this lovely little digest for my tulpa's.
  2. I saw the jackie chan tulpa video from the MLP thread simulators, googled it and then here I am. There was a period of studying and preparation between the two but it wasn't enough(I really should have thought about it more given what tulpae are vs what I thought they were).
  3. Thanks for the comment. I don't mind the skimming since a lot of it's old/outdated in the first few posts(in comparison to Tess nowdays and when we started) because that was just about a year from now when I first started with tulpamancy. They say hi back, they like talking to people. The new tulpa(In theory) should be kind of a recycled version of Alexa/Lexi, but this time I'll really work on developing her rather than just leaving her to her own devices. While I did kind of do that with Tess we managed to actually start working together and fix most of the problems within the first month or so. I did a similar approach with Lexi and she became more uncooperative and upset about it because I really did kind of expect her to do all the work herself, which isn't fair to her. Rather than trying to communicate and work on this together like with Tess she turned to more aggressive responses about things towards me(She was pretty decent towards Tess, Cora and my few thoughtforms according to Tess; She seemed to only have a real problem with me). Since that was really going downhill fast I essentially made her fade from existence by ignoring her aggressive attempts at me, and she did all but fade away eventually, resurging once or twice but still all but a memory now. It's either that or the other tulpa thing i've had for a while(I call it a tulpa-esque thing because it's kind of half and half between a tulpa and a advanced imaginary friend that i've had before hearing about tulpa; he's nice but I don't know if it would be a wise idea to upgrade him to tulpa status, he's harmless but i'm not sure it's wise). 12/7/13 - 12/16/13 (Because I do like keeping track of my updates by dates, hour counts kill but keeping track of how long a tulpa lives for in the sense of time spent together and not the hourcount way is pretty interesting. I can't believe it's close to a year since I started with Tess) Me and Tess have managed to work out our little spat there with some time spent away and then some conversing and reflecting.I also managed to get her into anime(We watched Paprika, wolf children and Madoka magica; not the princess tutu I wanted to show her but she likes it). It's not to say that studio Ghibli isn't anime but the stuff I listed seems more closer to the name. She's been getting Really giddy about how her birthday's coming up and it's a big milestone, some tulpas don't make it to the first year. She now sounds kind of like a mix between edna from edna and harvey and paprika from the movie of the same name(best comparison movie wise is inception, they deal with similar topics about dreams vs real life). Tess wants the one thing that would really be a challenge to do; to drink some cardamon-cinnamon tea again. I'd have to look pretty hard to find a tea that's flavored specifically that(lots of teas have cardamon and cinnamon as ingredients but not the main flavor). The one tea I mainly drank for a long time was The Cardamon-cinnamon tea "The republic of Tea"(brand) sold and I could make a good cup of it. I really love that brand but it's hard to come by in this area in comparison to the popular stash tea brand.
  4. I'm forcing something for Cora, Tess and my two thoughtforms. I'm doing something for Tess anyways because she was made shortly after Christmas anyways (the 28th) and I think she'd love a birthday present along with some christmas stuff.
  5. 12/2/13 - 12/7/13 I think I unintentionally hurt Tess. I was almost asleep yesterday and she started talking to me. It was auditory and not just thought-talk as I've dubbed it and wall it's amazing that she's gotten along that far, I yelled at her(in thought, it would be weird for me to actually start screaming at her). I feel like I scared her off. She's still there but she's been really quiet. She seems to be okay and has been getting better since the incident but i'm a bit worried about her. And I had just come up with a good idea for a new tulpa that won't be a failure(My last two attempts went bad and I had to dissipate the results sadly). Tess's quite upset and according to Cora I should give her some space. This time it will be a serious event in making this third tulpa. Hopefully this will go well, i'll start soon on it.
  6. 11/8/13 - 12/2/13 The updates here have been pretty sporadic but we've been making great progress and tess's coming up on her 1st birthday. We watched a some let's plays of the two edna and harvey games and it's occured me and tess have a dynamic companionship that's more akin to that then me and Cora's (which is more like a magical girl/pet adviser type thing). While tess isn't keen on violence she does have a funny sense of humor(apparently not as good as mine in a silent comparison the both of us did on my family/friends with the both of our humor's). While we have a very on-off relationship sometimes it's a sincere relationship nonetheless. Tess's been begging for a tumblr and i've been against it because tumblr seems to bring the worst out of people(people saying it's good/bad/trolls/etc.)
  7. Tess is usually pretty good at games(save for professor layton, she's horrible at puzzles). Tess is more of a watch others play games type than play the games herself. I've shown her quite a few games and she loves games that are great in art, atmosphere and narrative. She also likes arty games but doesn't mind the occasional beat em up or action/adventure. Cora uses rosalind lutece's voice from bioshock infinite. She says that it fits her personality but I think it's more her being a fan of that character.
  8. The wonderland's actually pretty interesting. The most I see when not on a special occasion is what has been dubbed as the "forcing room" which is essentially a clean and sterile white room. Then there's the rest of the house and the surrounding area which includes a lake, a cliff, several forests, a jungle with ruins on it, a nice beach, and several glens and fields. It's really nice but on a passive side I only see the forcing room with interacting with them unless it's a special occasion. Tess's room is really messy with a nice loft bed and skylight. She's got a bookcase and a cool computer setup with a tv in there as well. Granted the books/computer don't work when I try to use them(they only work for tess because that's how she experiences my experiences like reading for example). Since cora's a cat she usually keeps an eye out for my thoughtforms and sleeps with tess like any cat would when trying to be annoying.
  9. One of tess and Cora, my satyr/fawn/thingy and magical cheshire cat creature. I'll admit cora's tail looks weird there but she is usually very close in anatomy to a regular cat unless she wants to change things up. And also Tess usually isn't that small, I just kinda drew her in her tiny chibi/imp form rather than her full humanoid stance.
  10. 10/26/13 - 11/8/13 Well, it's nice to see that my updates get some glances every once in a while. So me and tess have both been getting better at driving(she's only learning for emergencies, partially because it scares the living daylights out of her). We have a very interesting relationship sometimes. She's quite active in her own way just as I am and we do give each other commentary about things from time to time. I just haven't been updating as of late because it's been a rough and stressful time for the both of us. We're very different people and it makes things interesting because we're both two sides of a coin(or two people and then some in a body). She doesn't posses me very much and when she does it's seamless and natural. We've tossed the idea around and she wants to watch princess tutu(the anime). We're going to watch a few more disney movies because she loves them and the idea of introducing her to an anime would expand her tastes into other things besides childrens movies. She loves games as well and has seen some more mature stuff in videogames. She just eats up storytelling in the media and I think it's done a lot of interesting work on her. We do active forcing as well as passive forcing and the movie/game/possible anime exposure also adds to it positively. Tess is still keen on setting up a tumblr but i'm kind of against it.
  11. 10/9/13 - 10/26/13 My posts didn't seem to come through the last two times but hopefully this will work. Anyways Me, Tess and Cora have been chugging along just fine and it's coming up on Tess's birthday. Since she made me a birthday gift with Elyse, I was thinking me and Cora could make her something with my other two thoughtforms. We've been making lots of progress with driving; something I thought would be beneficial to them as well as me since i'm learning it in a drive school. Tess is the best driver out of them but Cora's the most level headed. While Tess's really good it terrifies her ever since the driving teacher started mentioning what kinds of things that could happen in wrecks. A trauma nurse came in on today's class and tess made it clear that while she's capable she's not necessarily willing to drive. She and Cora are learning just in case of an emergency but the thought of her driving freaks her out. She's quite considerate and is really empathetic. She's been enjoying this school year along with me and things have been going well besides the whole driving issue. I've shown them the three narnia movies and the thought's occured to me that i've spoiled them in movies with how many i've shown them(Lot's of ghibli stuff; Tess loves porco rosso. Also lots of disney and children stuff in general because I want to ease them into more grown up films). I think I'd like to show them a few pixar films as well as a few others in the upcoming months since with school I don't have the free time to just watch movies all the time like in summer. On the other hand the movies do sometimes teach them things and I find them useful to Tess's also shown interest in anime. If only it were that easy to find on the internet, especially now days with all the pirating stuff going on. She wants to see summer wars as well as a few recommended anime's(i'm steering her away from the heavier kinds out there for a while like madoka and attack on titan). I'm open to suggestions on anime's but since this is just a log for me I'm not really expecting that many answers.
  12. 9/29/13 - 10/9/13 The both of us have been getting better at driving(though she's not expected to drive). We've been getting better at this stuff. It's occured to me that most of my tulpa's count as thoughtforms really, rather than true tulpa. I do count and consider her a tulpa but she's not quite a tulpa because i've cut some corners here and there and it's some of those corners that can count. Elyse and kuroka are both thoughtforms(I call them familiars but they're thoughtforms). Cora and Tess are both much more closer to tulpa than elyse and kuroka. I've been thinking about tulpa from a metaphysical(something a bit new to me) and psychological standpoint lately. It's like a cool mind trick if you get down to it in some perspectives; that you train your mind to do a set amount of things and 'force on that in many ways until it becomes like clockwork in your mind. Then to get rid of one you could just not go the whole distance(i've discovered that if you have a tulpa and you don't give it enough attention it will stagnate and then dissapate if left alone long enough), or you essentially un-teach your mind to do it and thus dissapate/dissolve the tulpa. It's kind of like what the wikipedia artical states . It's not quite as hard as people would imagine it in that sense but it's not to say that people don't have moral issues with dissapating a tulpa/thoughtform/servitor/etc. A lot of people like them for long term companionship but it's not to say that they'll last forever unless you make them last forever.
  13. 9/23/13 - 9/29/13 I've noticed that Tess's gotten some very different interests than me in some of the more smaller details(like preferring frozen yogurt over ice cream, She likes frozen yogurt and I like ice cream). She's also been given the chance to drive since i'm of the age to learn how to drive and after getting the permit i'm required to go to a driving school(not really by law but more so by my family because uninsured teenage drivers are expensive to cover in price). She was all excited for it up until the teacher started explaining the bad things that can happen to your body if it's done wrong and you get injured. On one hand it means no joy rides out of her but on the other hand she's a lot more nervous about driving in general now, regardless if it's me driving or not(The teacher explained all the bad things that can happen if you mess up in anything on the road; by the time he was done explaining that you can pop your intestine by wearing the seatbelt wrong Tess was cowering in the corner of my mind). It's going to take a while for her to get over that but it seems like the two of us are decent drivers and I think the only reason Tess's is getting the experience of learning is that the timing for it was right. I'm also thinking about getting her a little more cultured in books(she's a big fan of fiction but i've yet really read her any books; she sees the books in my head like a tv as well as simultaneously reading it as well when I read to her.).
  14. 9/11/13 - 9/23/13 Lexi's sort of dead. Not in the sense that's she's dead dead but more of a stagnation problem. I've been parroting her so much it's stagnated. I can tell at this point that she's not really sentient, she's just doing what I think she is doing. And here I thought I had gotten her attitude down. I think I'll keep the name to suggest to the next tulpa I would make if I were to think about making another one. On the otherhand I'm pretty set with having a cheshire cat tulpa and a faun-ish tulpa(more like the origional description of mr. tumnas from the chronicles of narnia but with differences; Covered in white short fur but longer in the winter, long taill, catlike ears, dark red hair, wears a complete wardrobe, etc.) Tess's taken to videogames a lot lately but her tastes are different than mine(she likes action/puzzles with a good story as opposed to me with my fondness for games with good art direction/arty games in addition to well balanced features). It's very interesting since Cora's still into books. I've been thinking about letting my tulpae have a tumblr blog. I don't know how interested anybody here would be about that. You'd get to see tess's awesome drawings(she's pretty good at drawing).
  15. 8/26/13 - 9/11/13 A lot's happened since Tess's fondness for Cheerios. I went onto a vacation to the coast and she just loved it. We had some pretty fun times at a vacation house. We played around on the beach and collected seashells. We walked along the beach several times that trip, once in the dark(She absolutely loved what the night sky looked like without light pollution). We had a lot of barbecued items as well as salt water taffy and rock candy(that was a new one for both of us). It was an overall good experience. We also played yearwalk on our Iphone on the way back(great game, suggest you look into it.). Then school started up again. It wasn't too hard of a transition for me and tess. A lot of it was just sitting through introductory lectures and paper work for the first week and this week. Tess's loving Anatomy and phisiology as well as you and the law. I've been thinking and while I do talk to my "familiars" pretty often I think it just seems like an excuse to say not servitor or tulpa. Elyse and Kuroka popped out of Tess(As a young version of herself and a male version). Cora's going to be counted as a full tulpa again with tess and Lexi. Speaking of that Lexi's pretty laid back. She's not much of a talker as opposed to tess or Cora(although cora seems to stick to an advisory role; like a royal adviser). Lexi's taken to the voice of Elizabeth from bioshock infinite and cora's definetly twilight sparkle/Lutece(for no particular reason. She likes those voices). And then Tess's voice is weird in that it's familiar and sounds like my voice, but it isn't my voice. I won't go into my soulsearchy stuff here very much because it's a tulpa progress report, not a blog(though I've been thinking about also picking up a general blog and possibly a vlog). I've figured it out for the most part and I'm pretty sound with it, so are Tess and Cora. Lexi's a little aggravated because she doesn't seem to like getting into identity stuff in general, possibly stemming out from feeling like not being a real person(aka not living outside the head). The wonderland's really changed too. They live in a beach house now with a nice coastline. It's within walking distance of a nice woodland area(deep woods, rainforest/jungly area, a nice meadow, and a desert at the edge of the other side). I really need to have an adventure with them there. They all live as essentially roomates in the beach house(Kuroka lives on the ground level with lexi. Tess, Cora, and Elyse live upstairs). Kuroka's been getting into arguments with Lexi a lot(they argue about me a lot; Lexi's trying to pin it on my that my procrastination is just pure lazyness while kuroka's been saying that it's sometimes from stress of other things. They do talk about other stuff it's just that argument keeps popping up).
  16. I'm having a bit of trouble logging in on my computer, I fill in the required log in info and it gives me the logged in page but right after that it doesn't display my username, it jut has the guest/log in options there. It just seems as if it logs me in and then out again. Refreshing and trying to log in multiple times doesn't work. I can only log in with my mobile device and I was wondering if this was a known bug of somesort.
  17. 8/17/13 - 8/26/13 I can't update much because I can only seem to log in with my mobile and not my computers. Not much happened besides Tess's fondness for Cheerios. I'll edit this once the technical difficulties are sorted out but it is strange that I can't log on with my computer.
  18. I'd like to hear from you guys as a community, what positive things have come out of tulpa's? Any good results, learn anything good about tulape? I'd like to know since from what I've heard there can be a lot of bad outcomes from getting into tulpae(mostly from other forums but they do stick). Anything good come out of tulpae from a scientific point of view(since it does seem like the site's very into the sciences rather than the philosiphies/beliefs). For me My two tulpae have been able to give me a new outlook on life as well as different perspectives and opinions. They give good comments about things and can really cheer me up. From a more science-y point it seems to help my mental disorder(I won't go into that very much). Any positive things you guys have to share?
  19. 8/13/13 - 8/17/13 (NOTE to me; pronounced "tess" normally, She's been really interesting about her name and how it's spelled. It usually sticks to the wikipedia page information [ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teresa ]. thess is my little nickname for her since she picked out Theresa as a name) I asked thess and lexi recently to give me some space because i've been on a self searching thing lately because I really should know more about myself as well as my tulpa and the whatnot. I've been kind of examining myself and whether or not it's normal for teens to go through that I figure that it's needed for growing up in a sense, knowing more about yourself. There's been some interesting things that popped up but i'm not going into that cause this is my /tulpa/ blog, not my blog. Makes me think I should get a blog for that but now's not the time. I've asked her and lexi to interact with me more now because my self discovery thing is sort of done(at least for now). I think I'll start really working on lexi(I've mentioned this before but I had some work done on lexi but I couldn't get a lot of work in on her due to real life issues. There is progress but she's been pretty much stagnant for a while. She may perk up and have made more progress by inadvertently narrating to thess but i'll never know until I try) starting tomorrow and give an update from there. Whether or not people watch this i'm pretty happy to say that the 2,361 is encouraging, even if it's just a look over that first page. I don't mind since this is more of a Self tracker for my tulpa than a public blog, it's still very nice to get those views. EDIT: I decided to kind of poke her to see if Lexi will respond and she did in a really interesting way. She drew herself after I asked thess to draw something to see if she was rusty(thess likes drawing). Thess said Lexi was drawing and I asked her some questions, Lexi replied by writing(She has different handwriting than both me and thess) and asked If I could go find her a voice she could use in our thought conversations. She took after my 'muse' for drawing and seems to kind of combined her old self I gave her and my muse, even combining the names of her and my 'muse'(I use a inspiration thing for art called a muse). Her full new name is Willamina Alexa "Lexi" Wilde. It's nice to see such an immediate response but I'll still start working on her seriously tomorrow. And also a bit of a note, i'm not quite the serious tulpamancer and I regard them(my particular tulpae) as similar to imaginary friends because that is what they are in essance, it's just been proven much easier for children to be more imaginative and possibly do things close to this(hence 'imaginary friend) and creativity because they haven't been taught facts that would rule out certain things. This is a positive experience that is a learning experience on how to do things and perspectives as well as potentially develop friends. I've been a bit unsure about still sticking to the tulpa thing because all the negative reaction when brought up in other places but people can argue that there's a lot of positive things that can come out of tulpas from certain standpoints.I think I might bring up a discussion about that.
  20. I don't think I'll tell my parents. My mom may be concerned but probably would be okay. Thess really likes her and see's her as a mother figure. I think she possibly could take it pretty well but I think that will be down the road.She'd probably think of it as a weird imaginary friend stage but would tolerate it. My father would probably disown me after putting me in the mental hospital.
  21. Yep. A lot of people made good point but I'm going to put my 2 cents with my current tulpa Thess and my work in progress, Lexi. Patience is a virtue and diligence is a going to be your friend if you want a tulpa to really be a vocal tulpa and not just what you're experiencing, especially your first tulpa. It took a lot of narrating before Thess could talk, and it will probably take a while before Lexi will talk but if you put enough work you can get a vocal tulpa. Emotion links are pretty useful if you want to get into a good way of communicating and that's how me and thess talked when we started out(She didn't really even have a form, she was just a glowing ball at the time). If you think it's not for you it's okay, it's your tulpa after all. Do what you feel is good but I cannot stress this enough that it will take some work, even if it's just a little. Just have faith that your tulpa is developing. Thess says that while she was good at getting her point across with the emotional link, she just couldn't figure out how to really speak fluently(Something I think might have come from my diligence to make a tulpa without parroting since I thought it was detrimental to tulpa development). Parroting is okay and like the others say, roll with it. It will help the tulpa start doing stuff on it's own if you parrot it a little bit sometimes.
  22. 8/2/13 - 8/13/13 Wisdom teeth got pulled. That went pretty well, no adverse affects and Thess got over it pretty fine after I got over the after effects of general anesthetic. I think I'll reset Lexi and start working on her again after I get some important real life stuff done. I feel bad for not having a lot of material to put here, since me and thess have been chilling and sorting things out. Thess's nuzlocke challenge she's doing took a bit of a downturn when almost all of her pokemon died. I think I may put up a comic on that while she's doing her nuzlocke. I did try to take a driving permit test today(don't ask because this is a blog about my tulpa, not a blog about my life) and she made a pretty sassy comment when I didn't pass it. Watched howl's moving castle with thess. She loves that movie as much as I do. We really should do another movie night because she really wants to see another disney movie and I think I'll pick one of the ones on netflix. Me and Thess have been really supportive of eachother during all of this and I think I don't mind having her in my head long term since she turned out pretty well. I'm going through an interesting thing right now and while she's very supportive, I think i'll have to stick with what I said earlier and rework on Lexi because she essentially died/faded out because lack of attention and I think I'll have to rehash her to get her going again. But that will be in a while because me and Thess are going to be busy and I'd hate to have a repeat of what happened to lexi if I started working on her again.
  23. *Me watching an cartoon old movie yesterday on youtube, cue a magic all knowing dragon* Thess: "I like this guy. Reminds me of that other dragon thing in the pony cartoon." Me: "Discord?" Thess: "Yes, except this guy seems more entertaining." Me: "Why? this guy is okay in relation to the movie but he's not entertaining." Thess: "Because he can turn into a SQUARE! I can't do that and i'm pretty sure that discord can't do that as much. He can snap his fingers all he wants yet he can't turn into a square." Me: "That's silly. You like this guy more so than the alleged god of chaos because he can turn into a square?" Thess: "Yes, why can't you understand that." While i'm sure discord could turn into a square if he wanted but apparently Thess seems to like this other character just because he can turn into a square.
  24. 7/7/13 - 8/2/13 Wow it's been a long time since i've posted. After taking a nice long break I think I'll just stick with thess if I decide to go back to tulpa forcing, since 5 is a bit more than I can handle.Granted I didn't understand the gravity of tulpa making and while thess is a completely nice and at this point completed tulpa(I've done a little forcing in this break). Most of my other tulpa's have been traits of thess and while I'm just kind of putting them back in thess I think I may just wait a little longer before I really get back to it if I decide to get back on the metaphorical saddle. Thess is pretty much okay with this and being a singular tulpa if I were to continue. I've been talking this over with her and giving her attention so she doesn't fade out of existence. I really haven't been doing a lot of exciting things this summer and while on the break thess has been doing stuff in the wonderland, she's been thinking about redoing things and making it look nice. I think she'll be put into a bit of a coma for next week because i'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled and since i'm getting put under I'd hate for the anaesthetic to mess with the either of us. Thess has been really into videogames as of late, and just loves ni no kuni. I'll still work on Lexi after a while and I'll edit the signature to be more accurate to my tulpa situation. Just wanted to give you guys an update here.
  25. 7/4/13 - 7/7/13 I think I may take a break from tulpa. Not necessarily saying that I'm done and all my tuppers die, just saying i'm going to take a break from them for a while because I don't think I can keep up with them for a while, so I put them in a bit of a sleep and maybe after the break I'll decide then whether or not to continue or if I should stop all together. There have been some positives coming out of this whole experience but since I was only going to be doing the thing for what may have been a short time it was very educational. I know my tuppers will be okay with this, i'm just going to take a break, do stuff on my own with my whole head and think about whether or not i'd like to continue after this "trial period", since my origional goal was to essentially see if this could work and help me, and it did. Tuppers are like children/pets in some respect, it's much more long term than say, a toy. I don't know if I necessarily want to keep up with it all for years on end at the same time is it worth all the work put into it? I'll make it a goal when I start up again to develop Lexi into a full tulpa since she was still in the works(she couldn't really talk besides imitating my real life best friend, which would be questionable if lexi /wants/ to model herself as somebody else completely). I just kind of want it to be on a positive note since I don't want it to be like I suddenly hate tulpae, i'm just going to decide if I really want to continue in the long run. My tulpae will be on something like a pause mode rather than dissipating them, because that would be harsh for just a break. If I were to stop altogether that would be a different story but since it's just a break I won't be dissipating them.