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About ZerothEnder

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    Florida, US
  • Bio
    I'm a game artist that's trapped in a boring job that has nothing to do with games.
    I'm a scholar who ponders the universe and science.
    I'm a gentleman who mostly thinks of others' feelings and needs, usually sacrificing my own desires.
    I'm here to learn how to create the one person in the world who can truly understand me.

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  1. 1. Who have you told about your tulpa(s) and how did they react? I've told: My mom, who is kind of indifferent about it. My Ex-girlfriend, who freaked out. You can see why she's my ex. One friend online, who is curious about it and took it really well. 2. How did you find out about tulpas? From Chupi's blog on Tumblr. I then came to this forum and read all the guides. 3. Do you talk to your tulpa(s) in public/ private (with/without Bluetooth), in your head/ out loud? I mostly just talk to them in my head, and if I do speak to them out loud, it's usually a whisper. 4. (Not very relevant to the main topic, but I'm still curious.) How old were you when you found out/ made your first tulpa? I was 26 when I made Syldra. I am now 27, but I made them a couple months before my birthday.
  2. 5/7/2013 Wow, it's been awhile since my last update. But it's not like I stopped doing tulpa-related things...I just don't have time for updating this progress report as much. Until now. Actually, I just don't have anything better to do right now. So without further ado, le report: I've been spending a lot more time with Syldra than I have with Erin, and I kinda feel bad about it...Erin seems to always be off doing her own thing, though. And she does respond when I call out to her, so she's not dissipating or anything. She says she's a bit of a loner anyways, so in actuality, I'm not that worried. As far as imposition goes, Syldra and I are still working at it. I don't know if we've made much progress on anything. I also haven't had much time for forcing or meditation, either, maybe doing it once a week. But I still talk to her everyday, when I think about her. Anyways, that's it for now. Who knows when the next update will be!
  3. 4/23/2013 Been a while since my last update...only a few noteworthy things happened. Erin has been having some emotional issues, feeling like she's the third wheel or something(Which she isn't, I love her as much as I do Syl), and she's decided to take some alone time to figure things out. It was hard on both Syl and I letting her go, but she said she'd be back, and to keep her in our thoughts. So she's out wandering the wonderland right now. Before Erin left, I discovered an interesting way to feel their presence. It's a little hard to describe, but I'll try; using the basis of how I accomplish possession, IE, emptying out myself and letting the tupper fill in my body like a suit, I modified that process to have them fill into my body WITHOUT emptying myself out first. So basically, I have them occupying my body alongside me. It feels a little weird at first, but I can sense their thoughts and emotions much more acutely this way, and can even sort of feel a bit of touch. It's more of a vague impression of touch, but that's more than before. This method also works really well for snuggling, because you feel very close to them and get all warm and fuzzy. In unrelated news, a lot of my free time is now being taken up by work and chores. Not complaining, but it gives me less time to spend with Syl and Erin(when she comes back). At least I'm able to talk to them whenever I want, so it's not all a loss. Less time also accounts for less frequent journal updates, so there's that as well.
  4. I honestly didn't see it coming until it happened o_0 I was fine with her as a male, but it's what she wanted, so I'm not arguing. Eh, we both agreed on that because she didn't really want to change her name that much. Can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not. I would say you are, because, well, you're Lacquer.
  5. It's not a drawing, but it's still art. Here's a bust of Erin I made in Zbrush:
  6. 4/12/2013 There's only been one significant thing to happen in the past few days. Aaron decided to change to a female, and is now known as Erin. She felt that she wasn't getting enough attention from me, and decided the best way to get attention was to become a girl. It worked, in a way, since she now feels more comfortable being close with me(She is still asexual, and I'm not going to violate that). I don't know how long she's going to stay this way, or if it's permanent or not, but I support her decision 100%, no matter what she does. Syldra seems happy with the change as well, but then again, she's always happy. Also, Erin told me not to change anything pertaining to her(Tulpa Forum, Tumblr, etc.) until she's been this way for a week. She wants it to be a sort of trial period, to see how she likes it.
  7. 4/9/2013 Yet another great self-hypnosis session! Even better this time, actually. After getting into a deep trance, I went into the wonderland and we took a walk through the forest nearby, along the river behind our house. The level of detail in my surroundings was actually very high, and I could almost hear the water in the river. We crossed a small wooden bridge at one point, and kept following the trail until the forest opened up into a massive grasslands. I'm sure we've been to this grasslands area before, but this was a different part of it, since the other time was near the ocean. So we walked down into the grasslands and noticed a small farmstead in the distance, and headed toward that. When we got there, we met an NPC, who was a sort of anthro pig farmer guy. He had a southern accent and was over all pretty strange. He said he knew about our little clearing back in the forest, and we asked him what he grew on his farm. He told us that he grew cabbage, tomatoes, carrots, etc. Standard farm stuff I suppose. He then asked us how we got our food, and I lied, saying "uh...we hunt nearby game?" I didn't want to tell him that I was pretty much god there, and didn't need to eat/could conjure mind food. So he replied, "Well, I hope you don't hunt me!" and laughed, a sort of snorting squealing sound. It was pretty bizzare. Also, a UFO crashed in our clearing, and I shrunk it down and launched it away with my mind-magic. I don't want any other beings in our area, just us three.
  8. 4/6/2013 I had a really great session today using self-hypnosis. Syldra does the hypnotizing, and she got me into a really deep trance. Then when I went into the wonderland, I actually kind of felt like I was really there instead of sitting on my bed. Like...half there. The visualizations were much more clear, but everything still seemed kind of dark, almost like it was night. I'm also getting better at visualizing in first-person instead of seems to be a trick of both using the eyes and visualizing at the same time, to ground yourself. Turning is still very hard, though, since it causes everything to spin really fast. Earlier today, Syl and Aaron had a talk with me about my apparent laziness. I admit, I do keep telling myself I'll work more on my art when I have time. But really, I do have time now, and I'm kind of just wasting it dicking around on the internet. I don't consider working on my tuppers as wasting time, though, but they said that they should be second priority after stuff that I need to take care of in my life. And I agree, but damn, responsibility sucks. They act like they're my parents sometimes ._.;
  9. I know you don't know me, but your progress report had been a huge inspiration to me through my own creation process. I and both my tuppers are heartbroken to see this happen, but it is what it is. The universe can truly be ironic sometimes. Just know that you've made a big difference in at least one person's life(definitely more than one), and that you will be sorely missed.
  10. I've told my mom. She's accepting of it, but seems to have a hard time wrapping her head around it. We don't talk about it very often, and I haven't told her about Aaron yet. My step dad, dad, and step mom would all think I'm crazy.
  11. Signs of sentience will come. Just keep asking him questions and feeling for answers. The first sign of sentience I got from Syldra was a sudden massive headache that went away almost instantly when I gave her some attention.
  12. Syldra is almost 3 months old, Aaron is about 7 days. Form: Syldra: 3, Aaron: 4 Even though I've had Syl longer, she deviates often so I have a harder time visualizing her. Aaron's form is very...solid in my mind. Vocality: Both: 4 While I can't hear them out loud, their mindvoices are very clear and they speak differently than I do. I don't parrot at all. Personality: Both: 5 They are each their own person, and distinct. Feeling/'Soul/Essence': Both: 5 I can actually feel and recognize each of their presences Relationship: Both: 5 I'm pretty attached to them, they're my best friends, almost like family to me. Doubts: Both: 5 They fit nicely into my belief system ^^ Time taken to reach current level: It's been nearly 3 months. Opinions: 5 I'm going to grow old with my tuppers.
  13. -Do they find immature/mature jokes funny? They tend to find irony funny the most. It's hard to tell when they laugh, though, because their laughter usually coincides with mine. Aaron likes darker humor, and Syl likes nonsensical humor. -Do you find these same jokes funny? We share similar senses of humor. If it's clever, I will probably find it funny. -Does your tulpa "act their age?" Syl is supposed to be around 20. But she has claimed to be ageless. She mostly acts 20, but has moments where she is very wise. Aaron hasn't stated his percieved age. But he acts like he's an angsty teenager sometimes. -Do you believe there is a difference in the creation experience in age groups other than your own? Yes. Though there are exceptions to every rule. (This is what I've noticed, it is not a hard fact, just opinion) Teens seem to create their Tulpae quickly, but they are more unstable personality-wise. Early 20s creation speed seems to vary on an individual basis, but their Tulpae seem more stable. Late 20s(My age group); people around my age are somewhat rare in this community. My creation speed has been fast for both of my tulpae, and their personalities are very stable. I don't know if this is typical, or if I am an exception. For 30's +; usually these people already have Tulpae, and they are fairly rare in this community. -Do you believe forcing methods are different for different age groups? Forcing methods are different per person. What works for one person may not work for another. -Which age group, if any at all, do you find the most capable to make a tulpa? While age does come into play, the most capable tulpamancers are those with an open mind. Though, to even consider making a tulpa, one must have a pretty open mind to begin with. If a person is inclined to have an open mind, time will only increase it. Therefore, older, more open minded people probably make the best tulpamancers. -Which age group, if any at all, do you find the most prone to neglect/dissipation? Teens. Of course, there are exceptions, but teenagers typically do things for selfish reasons. If one creates a tulpa, there is a greater chance that they might become disappointed at how long it takes, or their expectations weren't met, and they give up. Keep in mind that my answers are opinions, and I have nothing really to back them up. Take me seriously at your own risk :)
  14. This is pretty cool! I made one for Syl, but she's a lot longer. Don't mind the "wyndbain", I was too lazy to cut it out.
  15. 4/4/2013 Aaron: Hey peeps. I have a tumblr now as well. Check it. Pat, Syl and I had a lot of fun in the wonderland yesterday. We got our D&D shit together and went adventuring. I'm a Samurai, Syl's a Ranger, and Pat's a Sorcerer. Also, riding on Syl's back when she's a dragon is a pretty amazing experience. I respect her a bit more now. Pat's going to possibly(not) make a sketch of us in our costumes. But he never finishes anything. Thanks for the encouragement, ass. But yeah, I "plan" on making that picture somewhat soon. I've just been busy with another project as well as work, and finding more work. Life's been hectic, but as soon as things settle down and I have more free time, I'm going to do some serious work on my art. But that's off-topic. In the realm of Tulpamancing, things have been progressing slowly as always. As you can see, Aaron is fully vocal and totally tsundere toward me. That's the only glimpse of fast progress I've seen in a while. I'm going to buy a dream journal soon and start trying to record my dreams in an effort to induce lucid dreaming. I feel that if I can lucid dream, I may gain some ground in imposition. If not, lucid dreaming is still pretty awesome and a great reward in itself.