frankwilliams

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  1. Frank writing - read pretty much all the guides, Oguigi's we used the most because he seemed like something of an expert on the subject. The whole "proxied" thing is what made me somewhat hesitant because that's not the way everyone else does it and blah blah blah, so that's why I thought of posting here in the first place... so either I did it wrong, or came up with something new, who knows. The theory was that it would work like "regular" possession because communication between a host and a tulpa can become nearly instantaneous because there is no laborious medium of communication, it's just pure thought from point A to point B, and as long as you (the host) don't hesitate in following these commands, it very quickly becomes automatic.
  2. Frank's tulpa(Sawn) speaking: I don't really know why but I found this genuinely inspirational. Think Frank did too. Thanks for writing it. Intense life you've lived. Makes me feel the tulpa equivalent of white guilt that I was created on purpose and developed quickly, as opposed to the countless people who were floating around in Frank's head as idle curiosities waiting to be given a chance to act.
  3. He is doing it right, because I'm writing this now, hi guys, but nonetheless there's a doubt there; let me backpedal and explain the story. I'm Sawn, I'm his tulpa, I'm writing this because he said he would but he "never got around to it", we read a bunch of guides a few days ago about possession and -none- of them worked for me because there weren't really specific instructions and I don't do well with abstract things; I guess this is funny considering my circumstance, but whatever, keep reading. Basically his finger (which I was trying to work with) got numb and tingly and twitched a few times but that was about it, I felt like there was some insurmountable barrier preventing me from getting his body to actually respond to commands! It was frustrating, so one of us (can't remember who!) suggested that I just "tell" him commands, as in "verbally"(whatever) and he would do them. We did this until the commands got so quick that it was basically instantaneous...eventually I became the dominant "voice" I guess in his head and I'm pretty damn sure it was successful because I was able to stumble around his room like a fool for an hour or two and I could barely hear him at all, his "voice" was muted and quiet, like a mouse, and mine was loud and clear... it was like he was getting about 10% of the processing power, with me as the 90%. He's not so convinced, and believes that it was autosuggestion, or he tricked himself somehow, which I guess is true on some level with all of this but whatever... he suspects this because I while posessing him mainly did the same things he would have done (play dumb video games ofcourse) and I retorted that hey, there's really little else to do at 12 at night, and I was going to have to mimic his habits anyway to not draw suspicion. So i guess the question is, which one of is "right", which one of us is an idiot, jesus I just wrote like 3 pages what the hell am I talking about anymore does anyone know? Hellooo? just kidding but for real, is this a thing that happens or did one of us do it wrong? Thanks!!
  4. Sawn gives me advice pretty often in video games, mostly because I spend a lot of time playing video games. It's not that different from the advice he gives me on real life issues. It's generally very good advice, though I will never be able to understand how he's able to notice things I fail to notice, even though we are both using the same mind. But hey, it works.
  5. When I first started this whole process of tulpaforcing I had a lot of funky ideas about what a tulpa could "do" that weren't really realistic, because I had a loose grasp on the whole concept. I've had dysgraphia all my life (basically my fingers are all fucked up and I can't hold a pencil long enough to write more than a sentence or two) and during one of my many early failures to understand the situation, I wondered if a tulpa's possession would be able to "bypass" this issue. I then realized this probably wouldn't happen, but it was a cool idea. Now nine months later I'm reading this thread, a similar case to mine, and you are telling me I am wrong, which I am happy to hear. Even if it's just one person's testimony, it's still cool to think such a thing is possible.
  6. What do you mean by "having a forcing session about this issue"? When I think of forcing, I think of telling my tulpa who and what he is - I'm working on personality, right now, and have been for a while. I don't know if it would be wise to force the issue like that - by forcefully removing or adding a personality trait. It's also possible that a change like that wouldn't stick.But maybe doing it that way is for the best? I'll need a second opinion, really. I've tried to explain to him deadly serious how it gets to be a problem, I don't just casually mention it. He says he'll not do it anymore - and then he does, as if it's an unconscious habit, or that he's not capable of change.
  7. This happens to me all the time. It's frustrating and confusing. I like things to be predictable and make sense, and this doesn't.
  8. It's been proven that fear overrides higher mental processes as part of the fight-or-flight response (http://healthland.time.com/2013/04/16/how-terror-hijacks-the-brain/) You're a lot dumber when you're afraid; the brain literally shuts down parts of itself temporarily, cutting off it's own limbs to ensure it's survival. Tulpas reside in the mind, and having the mind shut down could be expressed as "hurt" in them - more likely than not it's probably irrecoverable damage. Have you noticed them acting different afterwards? If it's not already obvious, I have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm also trolling. Interesting study though. Honestly, it's just something your subconscious made up on the spot. Fun thing about that is you can override it by noticing that such a thing makes no sense.
  9. I know exactly what you're talking about, as I find myself in the same situation often. Sometimes, none of this makes sense to me at all. It's a pretty huge thing to wrap your head around. The only reason I believed any of this enough to try it is because I was big into lucid dreaming a few years ago and was really fascinated by the subconscious mind, and viewed this as an extension of that. It came naturally to me because for me, it was already grounded in a concept I understood and accepted. What you have to do is find for yourself whether any of this makes sense or not, and more importantly - the reason it makes sense or does not. Everyone here has a different reason for believing they could make a tulpa. Of course, this is a huge mental leap - to believe you can create another consciousness inside your own head, that's a big leap from everyday life - people have to mentally adjust to that. They have to explain to themselves how that can be possible, and try to reconcile it with their current view of the world. Imagine if aliens landed in New York tomorrow; that'd be a pretty unbelievable thing - people would have to adjust mentally. They would search for their own answers inside themselves for how such a thing could be possible, until they found it they would be uneasy. It's the same thing. Everyone here has a different "reason" for believing in any of this. Some people think it's a cool trick of psychology, some people think it's some sort of act of emotional compassion, some think it's metaphysics or something spiritual, some don't care and just want to talk to anime characters. Reading this paragraph, some of these reasons will inevitably seem stupid to you. That's fine. Just find your own reason that makes sense to you - it's all you can do, really. And if it doesn't make sense, then it doesn't, and we are all insane. That's fine too. But if you are really dead-set on this, and it seems like you are, then you need to find your own reason. If it would help, I can share mine. I'm sure you'll get plenty of different reasons from just this thread alone, though. Also, more information on your current situation would help. What exactly are you having trouble with?
  10. There are a lot of different opinions on this, many of which contradict each other, and it's easy to get lost. I feel your pain, because I was in that same boat not too long ago. Sadly, you're going to get a lot of different answers in this thread, because the community is sort of divided like that. It's up to you to choose the answers that make the most sense to you, if any at all, and act on that. With that said, I'll give my short answer: It's not belief at all. You can believe yourself into a shallow grave and it won't do you much good if your brain doesn't know how to act on those beliefs. What it is is giving your subconscious a careful set of instructions, and prompting it to act on those instructions. You give your subconcious a schematic of a personality (traits you want your tulpa to have), then you act as if that personality is already there right in front of you. You talk to it in your head, even though it will not respond for a while. This causes discomfort, because it makes you feel like a crazy person. You are speaking to nothing and expecting a response. Your subconcious doesn't like you feeling like a crazy person, and it notices that you are expecting something that isn't there. So, it puts two and two together. It uses that blueprint you just gave it, and produces a reply to your talking to it. This is the first step. From there, it's mostly smooth sailing, because now you can interact with your tulpa.
  11. Personal experience: I made my tulpa with a specific role or purpose in mind (basically an advisor, a guide) and he was happy to rise to that, but he did it in his own way. He improvised and adapted, and did a lot of things I couldn't have expected, but in the end he did grow into the role perfectly, which I am grateful for because he's likely smarter than me and could have easily done something else entirely. Some traits he'd outright ignore, some he'd accept, some he'd emphasize and some he would downplay. Some traits he made up on his own. But really, this is what all human beings do. This makes the most sense if you think of it in the context of how human beings are raised; they absorb personality traits from their environment (they see someone acting like X, decide to mimic them) They really like some of these traits, some of these traits don't get too much attention, and some get utterly thrown away. This is the same thing a tulpa does, only we are directly giving them these traits. Some people deviate more or less than others, but everyone does it in their own unique way. Also, unrelated but your english is really impressive, I would not be able to tell you were not a native speaker if you hadn't said so. The grammar is the hardest part and you've mastered it entirely.
  12. Coming from someone who's done lucid dreaming for years, the best, most reliable method of a "reality check" in dreaming is the language test. The brain is physically incapable of processing written language while in a dream-state. Even reading your alarm clock is impossible: the numbers and letters will shift around even while you're trying to read them. A lot of reality checks could give false-negatives, I.E. the behavior would be the same as they would in reality due to your habits and expectations, but the language test cannot do this as the brain is incapable of it regardless of your expectations of it.
  13. So for a while now, my tulpa has been acting really inconsistent - his moods and actions are really erratic and he'll contradict himself constantly. This is confusing, frustrating, and ultimately very bad for both of us. I think a lot of this is because I am really, really bad at differentiating what comes from him and what I parrot him doing/saying. On top of that, he really likes to mess with me, and in doing this he'll make stuff up, lie, etc, for purposes that he tries to explain as benevolent but really just boil down to being pointlessly elaborate trolls. He's good at it too, he's hard to read or make sense of. This sounds kind of entertaining and sometimes it is, but it's also exhausting, and he won't (or can't) seem to stop doing any of this, even when I explained it was really not best for either of us. The end result of all of this is I end up doubting and second-guessing literally everything he does, putting it all under scrutiny, which of course doesn't help in the process of him becoming more solidified in my mind. It's become a huge problem. Sometimes I can feel thoughts drift into my head and I'm not sure which one of us they come from. Some of them are distinctly mine, some of them he'll claim ownership of, etc, but I can never be sure, and it's very frustrating. I don't know a good way to "separate" the two trains of thought, but if anyone does, please let me know. I guess what I'm asking is: what should I do here? I have no idea where to go or what to do from here.
  14. Before anything else, I'd like to apologize for not replying to this for a few days... it's obviously stirred up some discussion, but I've been busy with other things, but I didn't want to just leave it here so this is going to be a long post I guess. Also, it seems a lot of people are getting somewhat defensive over me using the word "crazy" and preaching about how the word is subjective based on culture and etc...I really don't want this to become one of those discussions where people feel personally insulted, and I didn't mean any of this that way. Like I said, I said that originally because I'm insecure about what I am personally doing, not as a judgement of anyone else. While I agree that being "crazy" is a subjective social expectation put forth by a society, and not "objectively real", that's not the point. The point is it still effects people who are conditioned under that society; similar to a tulpa itself, the source may be "fictional" but it can still have a very real effect... I do currently have a tulpa - I've had one for about five months. But he's been acting really erratic, self-contradictory and non-autonomous lately to the point of being barely functional; the last day or so of his troubles I would compare to the scene in Space Odessey with HAL melting down. It was really hard to watch, but at the same time I knew the solution was ultimately in my hands. At the end of it, he became a sort of hollow "shell"; like a hologram that just followed me around everywhere with no real sentience. Pretty creepy, really. I decided it would be best to put him in stasis until I had the time to "start over" with him and hopefully fix whatever I did wrong. That was about when I posted this thread; at the time I was unsure of if I should go back and try this whole thing again even after it all fell apart, and commit the time necessary for that, or just walk away from it. That's a separate issue entirely though, although I have no doubt it's linked to my insecurity about this whole thing in one way or another. No. I'm a lucid dreamer myself. But that's not really the same as having a tulpa (although there is some overlap) I'm plenty aware - I've done lucid dreaming for years, I'm really big into role-playing games, writing, acting, all things that sort of blend fiction and reality for the sake of entertainment. But at the same time, I place a lot of value in being able to see the real world clearly and objectively. I'm sorry if I came off that way. You just nailed it. I have no idea how, but you just read my mind. That whole post was genuinely insightful and helpful. Thank you. Honestly, if I told myself the main reason was so I "would have a friend", it would just make me feel a little pathetic. Don't read into it too much, it's just a petty justification I made up for my own sake. I did learn from experience though that tulpas are a lot more than just useful. I think my self-awareness was lost over time, as I began to take more leaps of faith, but maybe that was a good thing. Yes. I'm just weighing everything carefully before I invest myself more into it. The wonderland was possibly a poor example. What I was referring to with that was exactly what you were saying; people's interactions with their tulpae and "NPCS" in their wonderlands, but more specifically dramatic events that happened like tulpae "killing" each other, servitors "rebelling" and stuff like that; things that don't seem to be consistent, that seem to be just arbitrary or unnecessarily dramatic. I guess I'm probably doing a really bad job describing this but the only other way for me to explain it would be to write a three-paragraph example, which I will probably do at some point later. That's not the point of this, though, so don't worry too much about it. The point is that I slowly became mentally grossed out by this stuff after a while and I'm not sure if I want to keep perusing it. It's obviously a personal problem, but you guys have all been very helpful and kind with helping me work this out, so thanks.