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About Z-Byte

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    SC, USA
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    I'm a writer who has so many characters floating in his head that creating a tulpa just seemed like the next logical step.
  1. Digging this out of its grave, but for good reason. I'm coming back! Amber has started shifting away from a pure pony look, and is now flitting between wanting to be a fairy or a "flutterpony," the cross between a pixie and a pony. I'm cool with either, though I believe she's leaning more towards wanting the fairy look. Chrysala is as she has always been. Not much forcing has been done at all, but we still talk enough to keep all of our minds alive. Been wanting to get more serious about it, so here we are! Not creating a new thread because A: History is important and B: No reason to when I already have my own thread!
  2. Honestly, I believe it's because the brain likes being lazy. It takes a lot less energy to accept something than to dig into the memories to disprove it. Because the brain uses so much energy, it naturally prefers a state of entropy and doesn't like to do work if it doesn't have to. It's way easier for it to invent new memories than it is to try and hunt for the pieces to put together the truth.
  3. At the moment, I'm replaying through my favorite game of all time, Breath of Fire 3. I almost beat it as a kid, but I had all of my saves on a Gameshark that our new boxer puppy chewed up and ruined beyond access. I lost heart until I got it on my Vita, and I've got a road trip ahead of me that I plan to devote to tearing through the world as my blue-haired baby boy.
  4. I think the brain operates on a level similar to a hard-drive, where, even if something is "deleted," when really it's just set to be copied over, the connecting neurons making a new pathway around and through old memories. They'll sit there in that "forgotten" space, and occasionally a passing signal will fire by it and light it up just enough to be visible, which in turn might cast a spotlight on the rest of the memory. It's kinda like fragmented data in drive recovery works, giving a bit of credence to how sleeping is like "defragging" your mind. Every face you see in your dreams, after all, is a face pulled from some memory or another, stranger or otherwise. Memories can be overwritten and changed as well. There was that experiment they did with a bunch of families that went to Disney World, where they brought out photoshopped pictures of them with Bugs Bunny. Most of them remembered meeting Bugs Bunny fondly, despite the fact that Bugs Bunny isn't a Disney character and was never at the park to begin with.
  5. Well, I have a real life tulpamancer friend, and I helped him in creating his thought-buddy. We don't hang out just to talk about them, mostly to just do normal friend stuff like vidyagames, but we will relay messages from one to the other, and occasionally ask one another what our tulpa thinks of a game we're playing, a picture we're looking at or something else. I will say that it is relaxing to be around someone that understands when you talk to yourself outside of mindvoice, or have a sudden snicker-fit at something your tulpa just said. Also, even though we don't talk about our tulpa much, it's still nice to be able to speak to someone about it. I also have a brother and a few friends who, while not having a tulpa themselves, know about them from the two of us. In fact, it's because of my brother that Amber, for a short while, thought that she was capable of making my head "pop like in Scanners." Bless her heart she tries.
  6. New Amber Rose to show off her curly mane and my slightly improved arting ability.
  7. Worked on arting another picture for Amber Rose. She seems pretty happy about it. Considering my lack of talent in THIS particular form of art, I'm actually a little pleased with it! http://postimg.org/image/7rtlj5ap3/ Getting better every day. Tried to make her hair extra curly, the way it is now.
  8. http://postimg.org/image/9pzp4os29/ I've gotten around to making Amber with the Zoi pony creator. It's such a useful tool for forcing, I think, as it gives me a basic outline. It doesn't help for imposing in the real world... That is, until I found the 3D pony maker for Garry's mod. Now I don't own it, sadly, so I was only able to use it for a few minutes on my Friend's computer, but what I created basically pleased me to no end. http://o.aolcdn.com/hss/storage/fss/ce3af1646161cf98f4fdaa4447feef5b/2013-06-27_00002.jpg It's as close as I can get for now... but I am happy.
  9. Okay, so my hand is less broken, so typing is much, much more fun now! I've done a bit of forcing, particularly on Amber, and she's decided to change her hair style with my help. It's now long and curly, and I've given her dark freckles on her cheeks. I've also added red tips to her feathers, which was fun to do! She is fully aware when we force, so I'm forming her wings, stretching them out in my hands, working on each feather, then placing the wing back on. It was funny, because when I put one wing on and started working on the other, she flapped it and rolled sideways into me, resulting in a bout of laughter and some cuddling before we continued. So far so good! Though it turns out that the lyrics of one of my favorite songs, "Under a Violet Moon" by Blackmore's Night, has the phrase "A Tudor rose with her hair in curls will make you turn and stare." I wonder if that had anything to do with her decision to change her hairstyle...
  10. Mentioned this in another thread, but Amber had her own little moment earlier when I was talking about when I forced her some chocolate to munch on. Amber: "Chocolate is the key to all happiness." Me: "What about the lactose intolerant? They can't eat chocolate." Amber: "Then they will never be happy. It's very sad."
  11. Pretty much this! I didn't have any set-in-stone imaginary friends, but more often than not I would have some kind of caring, motherly princess figure in my pretend games. I'm sure there is a lot to say about my psyche because of that, but regardless I believe that having that ever-present archetype really helped me form Chrysala as an awakened aspect of my past rather than a totally new construction.
  12. Incredible. I love this test, and so do my companions.
  13. Just as the topic says! I'm curious as to what sort of sustenance your tupperware likes to partake of. It doesn't have to be PHYSICAL FOOD, either. Do you force food for your tupper to eat? Do you let it taste the same food you do as you eat it? Do they take the memories of your meals and pick their favorite? Do they just feed on "energy"? Have you ever asked them what it tastes like? I figure that a complete tulpa has to be able to experience all five senses themselves, so this is just another aspect of that. What do you think? Chrysala loves sweet things, likely because I will eat something sweet to help boost my mood and encourage me to write after a long day. If I catch her 'eating,' it's usually a red-velvet cheesecake she's eating with one of those really tiny forks. She'll take a bite and her tail will give a little flick. Amber loves chocolate, though she doesn't eat it herself. "Hooves," she says, and she'd rather not get her wings dirty by grabbing it with her feathers. So when I eat chocolate, I'll feed what is effectively a forced form of it to her by hand. I get strong, positive feelings from her when this happens. This is separate from their "meal", though, given when they are given energy. I do this in several ways, from wrapping them in an egg and letting my energy phase through the shell, to take a psychic knife and sliding a cut along my wrist, letting Chrys or Amber drink my energy that way. They tell me it just tastes "like you," but they seem to be pleased enough by it. Amber: "Chocolate is still better." I'm sure it is. Amber: "Chocolate is the key to happiness." And what about those who are lactose intolerant? Amber: "They will never be happy. It's very sad." ...Well there you go! Those are her thoughts on that.
  14. This has an interesting dynamic. It reminds me of trying to get a battered woman/man out of a bad relationship. There is all logical reason for them to leave, but something psychologically is stopping them more often than not (usually fear). Until that hurdle is overcome, then further steps to separate the two will be unsuccessful. The fact of the matter is, the host is more powerful than the tulpa. Always. You can influence your tulpa just as easily as you can influence your dreams in a lucid state. Conversely, just like in your dreams, if you don't believe you can do it, then you won't. If you're not someone who likes to get into a fight, then fighting in a dream will make you feel like you're weak, slow, and unable to throw even a single punch. Trying to run away? If you don't think you can escape this threat, then you will be slow, you will be tired, and you will be caught. The goal is, then, to convince the host that the DO have power over their tulpa. Complete, total, and undeniable control can be achieved at will if so desired. But that's the thing: there must not be any doubt. One sliver of second-guessing, one ounce of "I can't do this," and it defeats the effort. A tulpa that wants to stay will know its host's subconcious, theorhetically being able to abuse it. But it's only using the tools that it's given. Take away the tools and it is powerless. Ideally, convincing the tulpa that it does not need to use this sort of intimidation to control in order to be desired is recommended. After all, assuring it that it won't be destroyed if it lets go of its only "surefire" way of surviving is the first step to a better relationship. At least, that's what I believe.
  15. Hey, this topic isn't so bad. It's probably in the wrong place though. I think it belongs in General Discussion. Maybe it can be moved? Either way, I'll answer some of these. Not gonna kill the whole community, is it? 1. Matthew and his bestest muse ever, Chrysala. 2. 25, and she is a dragon. Anthropomorphic, though, so... older than me? 3. Since I could first swing a plastic sword, she's been there to heal my battle wounds. I only really noticed her sentience recently, though. 4. Yes, I do. She does as well, under certain circumstances. For instance, if I'm in a deeply creative mood, lost in what I'm writing or drawing or working on some puzzle, I will get deep feelings of affection laced with, well, sultry encouragement from her if I just pause and think about her for a moment. When asked, she told me "it's the difference between a noontime car ride and a roller coaster at night, with " lights, sounds and a wild rush." 5. I'm straight with a bisexual attraction to feminine males. Chrys is attracted to creative minds. 6. Do I get horny? Yeah. Does she? I don't know... " eager" is a better word to describe what I feel from her. 7. Those feelings only really coincide when I do erotic writing or roleplay. At that point, Chrysala starts abusing her access to mental images and starts helping me further the story as she always does, though teases me with increasingly erotic pictures, voices and ideas. 8. I think I just answered that... 9. This is tricky. We have, but only twice as our "true selves", with nothing arousing us but one another and the moment completely being about pleasing the other, feeling our bodies and emotions in slow, intimate detail. It was actually the strongest form of forcing I've ever used, but it's so damn draining that there is no way I could keep it up daily and still function in a non-zombie state. Usually, if we're both excited, so to speak, we'll mutually masturbate. That is to say, I will masturbate to what was arousing me, and she will get stimulated by how my mind shapes that scenario in my head, encouraging me at times in a sexually charged voice. 10. Pretty much that. Sex between us has to mean something, because it carries a heavy tax on my body and mind. She understands this and doesn't ask for it. I hope that helps! I hope the community doesn't hurt you too badly over this topic. I think it COULD have some merit.