• Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

1 Follower

About Spice

  • Rank


  • Sex
  • Bio
    we are a system of 3. The host goes by bodybody, and is the one whos always on this account.
    Spice was created in 2013, she looks like Holo from Spice and Wolf.
    Tomoe was created in 2014 (we think) and he's a big ole furry.

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. Thank you for wishing Tomoe a happy birthday! I let him know on Nov 1st and just haven't had anything to write an update on since. He was very grateful! Last night, I decided I wanted to work on getting more stable visualisation of my wonderland. Now, my visualisation skills when it comes to just Tomoe and Spice's forms are pretty top-notch, but when I'm trying to pilot my wonderland body, keep track of the environment, and imagine touch/smell etc I get a bit lost. So I decided the most logical thing to do was to go into Wonderland and make a grilled cheese sandwich. All the steps, from finding the stuff in the fridge to throwing the plates in the sink at the end. It was challenging, especially since Tomoe had gone into full age slider mode, and was wanting to be cuddled and held while I worked, but the experience was interesting for me and shows me that I still have some more work to do in a fully immersed visualisation setting.
  2. Since you mentioned a pending diagnosis for ADHD, I think you might not be blending so much as sharing each other's trains of thought. I don't exactly know how to word this, but we have a similar problem where we will start and end each other's sentences. Spice is the only one who seems to pick up on it, and she'll say I'm "speaking over her". I think we talk over each other constantly because of the way ADHD makes my brain constantly try and pursue trains of thought rather than keeping quiet and focusing on what someone else is saying. When I blended with Tomoe, we weren't finishing each other's sentences, it felt like I was him and he was me, and our identities got confusing. It ended quickly after we stopped trying to switch, but it felt very different to talking over each other. I can't be sure as I'm not you or Anielka, but you might feel the same.
  3. Spice

    System Bear Art

    Speed isn't a bad way to practice a new style, you just throw stuff at the wall to see what sticks, yknow? I think it's really cool you're branching out into a new style and I'm excited to see what you make next!
  4. Our PRs are relatively short, but I love conversation about them. Don't get too stressed if you miss any though the updates are very random. Thank you!
  5. Quick update because yesterday (it's 3:40am here) was Tomoe's birthday! Im about to go force to spend some time with him. Also, Spice is getting much quicker at dropping in and out of conversations throughout the day, which is good! We can quickly get to a point where we can chat and then go back to doing our own thing. Previously conversations were kinda hard because I'd have to have very few distractions (and im an adhd sensory seeker so Im constantly trying to engage my brain in something) This has been a big hurdle for us and I'm glad we're working past it. Now I just need to get Tomoe on the same level as Spice.
  6. Reisen im super honored!! I like posting here whenever something progresses in our practice, and I'm really glad to see people like you and Misha still reading our PR :)
  7. Last night Spice tried some touch imposition with me, it came out of nowhere really and it seemed to be her playing around with what was possible when i was close to falling asleep. She made my whole legs feel tingly, like pins and needles but less intense and deep. This wasn't her intention though, she only wanted that feeling in part of my legs (where tomoe was imposed and resting on me). She also was able to make very specific head pressures and brought the tingling feeling to my skull. It was an odd experience because she totally ran the show, while talking to me and feeling out the body at the same time. She wasn't imposed, unless you count her rubbing my head.
  8. Most voices have a fair amount of range to them if you can learn how to use those muscles differently, so a lot of tulpas sound very different to their host when possessing because they've either intuitively worked out how to do this, or have practiced it.
  9. Quick update for the sake of keeping this fairly active. I've changed gears a little and slowed down on the possession/switching and started active forcing. I've also taken a few times to just lay down with some music on and talk to them with little to no outside stimulation. It sounds weird but I find it very hard to settle down and just have a conversation without multi-tasking, but it's been very rewarding spending time with them just talking about life and things. Tomoe's personality is really coming out and sparkling, he's getting more vocal with his thoughts and feelings and I'm really glad since he's always been incredibly quiet. Spice is a delight as always and she's really appreciating the quiet time to just talk. I used to feel bad talking to only one of them at a time but it's nice for a change because we can have much deeper conversations when it's not the 3 of us trying to have a group convo.
  10. Since this has only started recently, it might just be a phase they're going through at the moment that will pass in time. It's well known that tulpas sometimes go "walk-about" (ie, go quiet and don't respond) for a few days to weeks sometimes. This could be something similar, I hope this can alleviate any worry you're feeling. My two have been getting tired recently, and it helped me to move from passive forcing (which is naturally what you do more often with a well developed tulpa) to getting back to basics and active forcing, spending time in the wonderland with them and stuff. This seems to be able to give them more energy when we're passively interacting together all the time.
  11. Sorry, I'm kind of lost, I'm not trying to imply anything of the sort? I just find that a lot of the newbie/intro posts on here and reddit have people talking about how they have social anxiety or depression, I'm not insinuating they're only into tulpamancy because of that. I do think introverted people are more drawn to tulpas but it's not negative or anything, we are just the sort of people to be drawn to a quiet meditative practice, plus the bonus of having a friend who understands you deeply. That could apply to people whether they have anxiety/depression or not.
  12. Attaching a screenshot of how the forum displays on my mobile. I think Tania and I will have very similar displays? Whenever I have issues with blocks of text I just tap+hold to highlight it so it's easier to read.
  13. Apologies, I hadn't seen the polls (or I don't remember them at least) but it's the impression I get from seeing lots of posts in the community with people describing social anxiety, isolation and depression. I'll cop that I'm wrong though. Also, I didn't mean to imply most people's tulpas are walk ins etc, I'm not sure where it sounded like I said that but I believe most tulpas are created consciously on purpose.
  14. Hallucinations that cause distress and impair functioning don't mean you're crazy/hopeless/going to a psych ward, but they can be a real problem if they get out of control. Experiencing visions like this that make you lose track of what you're doing and cause you emotional distress can be part of a number of psychological disorders. I know someone with paranoia and delusions, and these delusions often include auditory or visual hallucinations. They're worth bringing up with your psych as there may be a medication or something similar to either help with the anxiety they cause, or to suppress them (should they become overwhelming) I'll be able to add a little more later, but please don't discount the possibility of a mental illness as I'm sure most tulpamancers have them, and they don't make us nuts, they're just something we deal with.
  15. I have a couple of theories on what you might be experiencing, but I want to grab some more info before I jump to any conclusions. Also as a safety precursor please know that I'm just a random nerd on the internet who loves psychology, metaphysics and tulpas, I'm not any sort of replacement for a medical professional and please keep seeing your medical professionals to support you with any distress/issues you may be experiencing. When you say you visualised/imagined this senses, was this on your physical body, or on your mindform body? Your mindform body is entirely within your head and though it can simulate the feelings of a real body, you do not feel it on your skin. Did your psychologist bring this up because they think you dissociate? Have they spoken to you about depersonalization or derealization, or anything about identity confusion? MPD (Multiple personality disorder) is now known as Dissociative Identity Disorder. It's mostly semantics to do with terminology but you will find it easier to find current and up to date information by using the term "DID" instead of "MPD." Some therapists still use the term MPD which is fine since they mostly mean the same thing, but I thought I'd point this out. I hope it doesn't sound rude. When you say you haven't blacked out, do you mean you did not experience amnesia/lost time, or do you mean you were still 100% aware of your physical body, with your eyes open, but the visual images you saw in your mind were very strong? I hope I can help you out in figuring out what you're experiencing, even if I can just give a little bit of knowledge and point you in the right direction. Also, welcome to the forum, I hope you enjoy your time on here!