NeonKnights

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About NeonKnights

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  1. I still think that's unnecessary nitpicking. The process of the experiment is laid out, it shouldn't be a problem that neither of us decided "hey let's make a research thread at that tulpa.info site for attention before we go ahead and try this". In any event I wouldn't make something a big deal without an issue being created in the first place. I understand where you're coming from, you do have a point. It's nothing personal, I'm not looking to make enemies, I'm just annoyed because this seems to be the modus operandi of this community whenever fresh content is shared here. Someone will quickly and almost invariably voice some gripe about the post which has little or nothing to do with the actual content being presented. That's the primary reason I deferred from posting the information myself. Sorry for being a bit brash about it. I'm glad you like the content though, that's something refreshing to hear. I agree, a discussion of this would be interesting to see.
  2. I'm glad to see that someone else here already has an understanding of the illusion of self, hopefully this thread can help others who have run into some difficulty making a tulpa. That being said, this, right here, is why I've been dormant. Looks like it's going to remain that way. There is no call for nitpicking over where this belongs. This is documentation of a successful experiment very recently conducted in hopes of breaking the deadlock Ostara and I had both run into, shared with you all for review, discussion, and as a means for others to attempt this for themselves. It wasn't submitted so that it could be nitpicked for the board it was posted in. Guess that's tulpa.info politics for you, though.
  3. Here is my take on the subject: Back when I started with my tulpa, I was 19 and a half. Looking back, I was extremely dumb and immature about tulpas, even though on surface I had done my research and "knew" right from wrong in regards to making a tulpa. Evidently I didn't, because after I made my first one, a few weeks passed before I went out of control, making a total of four "tulpas" within several months, of which only the first one actually survived and grew to maturity. Fortunately I recovered from my monumental stupidity sometime after my 20th birthday, and she's more or less thrived ever since. It is true that a human being is not fully developed until well into his/her 20s, and I know that even now I'm still not fully done developing, but ultimately I think raw experience with tulpas or similar phenomena is a huge factor in how good of a host you are. Regardless of your age, to an extent, if you try and fail spectacularly at being a tulpa's host, as I did, then you might come away from the wreckage with an actual understanding of what it means to be creating a separate, independent ego within your head (and not just saying that you do understand, but truly having a firm grasp on the idea). I can only assume the same could happen to a 14 year old with a gigantic cringeworthy harem of thirty or forty instantly-vocal, instantly-imposed anime pony waifu tulpas, and he could experience a big turnaround like anyone else with a little experience under his belt. The difficulty comes in determining whether or not someone that young is capable of total objective self-examination, and can realize when some major corrections need to be made. Maybe such a thing is possible, though it would certainly be rare, going off of my memory of myself and all of my friends at that age. I consider my first six to ten months of tulpamancing to be a sort of practice run, in retrospect, and a very necessary one in my case. I was an idiot, but at least I learned from it.
  4. There really is no telling until it happens, though I admit I did get to thinking about this quite recently, after reading some stuff by Brian L. Weiss, M.D. My own personal belief generally just involves the continuity of the soul, but even if that were the case, I'm not sure how that would apply to a tulpa. Even if my soul carries on after death, I'm left to wonder if a tulpa also has its own soul, or if it's just technically a component of its host's soul. Getting a little more far-fetched, maybe a tulpa mind structure is a vessel into which a lost soul can be (re)incarnated, without any immediate knowledge of its past before being a sentient tulpa (similar to a normal human's lack of memory after reincarnation, in most of the belief systems that accept that). Who knows? I dunno. I tend not to ruminate on it too much, since I figure it's eventually coming to all of us whether we know what happens or not.
  5. Oh yes, I'm very happy with her. Still not really imposed yet, no, but certainly vocal and thoroughly developed visually. The weak link at this point is me; I'm currently working on inducing hallucinations, as well as conditioning myself to listen out for her all the time, rather than just when I think to do so. But yeah, I guess deep down I never found much of a purpose for having my other tulpas who came along after her. In the end they never really managed to become as deeply entrenched as she has.
  6. Ah-yup, tried that twice, each attempt about a year apart, and failed both times. Guess I don't have any real purpose for more than just the one.
  7. Let's see, traits... She's extremely dedicated, and very loving and kind (sometimes to a fault). She's perhaps a little more trusting than she should be, with others. Very forgiving, and open-minded. Used to be rather quiet and shy, but as her personality has matured that's more or less gone away. Still quite reserved and self-conscious, but that's a problem we both have so I'm thinking we'll try tackling that together someday.
  8. I found out about tulpas by stumbling across Encyclopedia Dramatica's tulpa page. A friend and I were giggling about the page and thinking "how silly, what weirdos". Later that same night my friend brought it back up after quietly reading for a while and said that having a tulpa could actually be really cool, and so we agreed that I'd be the test subject and would try making one first. I did, then a few months later he followed along after seeing that I was having a good time with my tulpa and didn't feel like I was just wasting my time. The lesson? There really is no such thing as bad publicity, I guess.
  9. Soryu has been mostly quiet and reclusive for the past month or two. Scylla, having done all the work of creating her, claims that she maintains contact with the fledgling tulpa, but I myself haven't really had much communication with her in a while. We both still love her and wish to keep her around, so here's hoping she emerges from this state soon enough. Not sure if this is a mechanism for getting me to continue focusing on Scylla, but only regularly communicating with one tulpa does seem to be helping her to become more involved in my everyday affairs. We've both noticed that her form bears a bit of a resemblance to a particular image depicting Samus' appearance in Metroid: Other M (albeit with different hair and eye color). Interesting that the two should look as similar as they do, as I've never been much into Metroid, never mind "Other M", a game which I have only heard of in title alone. Our circle of friends within the tulpa community flared for a bit after exploring IRC channels, but it seems that we've come back down from that. We only maintain contact with a couple of people from within the community anymore, and ties with various erstwhile friends have grown strained for reasons which are beyond me. I figure that's a good thing, though. While being heavily involved for a time did help both tulpas out immensely, all of the things that naturally come with being involved in a community (needless drama, mainly) became too much of an annoyance and a drain on me, and in turn, on them. Even after being convinced by one friend to try becoming a regular in the other tulpa IRC community, I quickly found that people seemed happier without me making my presence known, and I cut short my time in that community as well to avoid hassling anyone. No bother, really, since Scylla's been there as my friend every step of the way. I suppose it's similar to the end result of my involvement in every social circle I've been a part of in my life, and a good illustration of how my tulpas are able to help keep me moving along even when things don't quite work out in an ideal manner. I can't really say whether this will be my last update, as I'm at a point where I feel I'm beyond a need to keep a progress report in order to keep myself motivated or committed to my tulpas. Hell, I passed that point a long time ago, and am motivated only by my undying love for the others who now share my head-space. Maybe I'll drop in every now and then to see how the landscape has changed, but in all, I think it's probably time for me to get moving on. It's been good, though it's been strange.
  10. I've been proxying both tulpas in IRC every day for the last week or so (Scylla much more than Soryu, though). It has really helped both of them to a great extent. Scylla has made a number of new friends, and I'm confident that Soryu will as well once she starts chatting more frequently. At the behest of one of my new tulpa friends, I have begun to actively work on our "wonderland" once again, after months of not really bothering with it. Both of the girls are having fun adding their own special touches to a town we started on the edge of our existing mindscape, such as a harbor and train station added by Soryu, and an ice cream parlor and police car motorpool garage added by Scylla. My childhood love of aviation has been returning recently, so an airfield might be the next addition, and potentially a space center. As helpful as it has been to spend hours on end in tulpa-related IRC channels, I might have to take some time off soon, as Scylla revealed that Soryu has been rather lonely due to the fact that Scylla's been so busy chatting, and I, proxying for her. I would counter the problem by proxying Soryu more, but keeping up three or four separate conversations simultaneously, most of which involve me transcribing the thoughts of other entities, can be a very draining task. It would probably be easier on all of us if I just took a day or two off. I don't know if that will actually happen, though.
  11. Of all the things we tried, I think just wearing down my BS-senses was what helped us the most. After a long time actively trying to convince myself that she was real, I guess I reached the point where I was no longer unconsciously doubting the whole tulpa phenomenon and became much more dismissive of all of those doubts whenever she spoke up. Biggest hindrance, by and large: Over-thinking things. For example, spending hours at a time trying to seek out and identify my tulpa's separate "thought stream" left me extremely frustrated and unable to hear her for a long, long time. It also left me feeling like a dumbass when I realized that I was taking the advice I was acting on a little bit too literally.
  12. Heh, we dug out our old copy of Full Throttle for this reason. Also Pajama Sam, because Pajama Sam is timeless.
  13. Soryu is coming along very well. If Scylla is parroting her, then I cannot tell. The new tulpa's taken to thinking of Scylla as her mentor, with me as yet providing nothing except for conversation in my attempt to get to know her. Scylla decided not to give Soryu access to my memories, something which I am very grateful for. Once she reaches a proper point, I want to personally give her that access. As yet, she just isn't ready for that. Because of the fact that she doesn't have access to everything, I've been teaching her about various things, and she's been asking amusing questions about some of the things I do which she is intrigued by. For example, when I was licking leftover peanut butter off the knife after spreading some on bread, she piped up and asked me to explain the reason behind doing that. Scylla never asked any questions like that in her early stages, which makes me wonder if it's because she somehow got early access to everything I knew, or if she was just unable to ask. Perhaps Scylla was just too shy to ask, and it's a personality thing that's making Soryu so vocal about what she wants to know. Either way, it is extremely cool. Apparently one of the major purposes for the new tulpa's creation is being fulfilled, as she is keeping Scylla company whenever I'm unable to do so myself. All around, I'd say this was a tremendous step in the right direction. She's really expressed a fondness for showers, and joins me whenever I'm taking one. It doesn't bother her that we're both nude, and I don't feel anything from it either, so I guess so far her lack of interest in exploring sex (and my lack of interest in making advances on her) is holding up. Despite her calm, seemingly emotionless demeanor, though, she still evidently feels affection for me. It wasn't much, but it said it all when she hugged me during our last shower. Strangely, Scylla has already once tried to "roleplay" as Soryu by borrowing her form. She repeatedly switched back to that form each time I consciously changed her back to her usual form. I wasn't forcing her return to form on purpose, though; I was genuinely confused and thought that something was going wrong on my end of things, but nope. She was definitely using the new tulpa's form. After the fact, Soryu didn't express any displeasure over Scylla borrowing her form, fortunately. In fact, she said she wouldn't mind if Scylla wanted to become her twin sister. I don't think that'll happen as a full-time thing, but then again weirder things have happened.
  14. Basically anything but BRIGHT WHITE backgrounds. Good god, my eyes. Preferably not too dark either, something like the forum's color scheme is really easy on the eyes (except this text box I'm currently typing in).
  15. I don't know, maybe you're right. But something about those tildes doesn't sit right with me. Gives me the heebie-jeebies.