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About Nyx

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    Northern California
  1. Jack: I'm an alien, but my psychology is very human...so I sometimes consider myself as human.
  2. Jack: I looped the song Cotton Eye Joe inside my host's head until she stopped working, took some cold medicine, and went to bed at a (relatively) decent hour when she had the flu. Does that count?
  3. Doubt is an ongoing issue for us, personally. On any given day, it ranges from acceptance to fear that I should be locked away some place, despite knowing about the community. Not exactly cool on my part, but it happens. It has gotten better…mostly because I’ve accepted that doubt is going to resurface occasionally regardless of how great and convincing it is, but in the past--waaaay before the community existed--the whole question of what is real caused all sorts of problems. It was really easy (for me, at least) to over-analyze and explain away some things. On a similar note, I can’t openly discuss some of the best moments of my life with other people, simply because they involve someone who only exists inside my head.
  4. Jack: Hey. I was originally created in a similar way, though my host recently did some forcing to bring me back. Even before she knew about tulpas, I was conscious and felt very real, so that was a non-issue most of the time. Regardless of whether you'd call yourself an imaginary friend or tulpa, you sound pretty real to me. The fact that you're questioning your own nature is a significant sign. If you're comfortable, we (meaning the community as a whole, not just us two) may be able to help if you're willing to give more details about your tulpa's creation. Did you create your friend while writing? Daydreaming? Or did he/she simply come into being one day (I believe people call that a walk-in)?
  5. It's rather simple for us. It is now second nature to type "we" instead of "I", and the opposite is true for real life conversation, even though I have been proxying quite a bit. Jack is discreet and wants to keep it that way, so it has been easy to keep the pronouns straight. So far.
  6. Ban for having too many colors in avatar image and disrupting the site's gray and blue color scheme.
  7. I don't make very much--woes of being self-employed--so Jack doesn't ask me to buy anything for him. He does encourage me to save money, however. We plan to spend it on experiences instead of things, and he makes it a point that it should be something that both of us want to do. Not just him.
  8. All the time. I'm the one with two left feet, but that doesn't stop him from trying to get me to dance with him. Same thing with singing. It's become a tradition to drink and sing karaoke in our household during the holidays, and this year he's been singing along with whoever is on the stage.
  9. I recently had a chaotic experience with my primary tulpa and a dormant, sentient character (or proto-tulpa or soulbond, whatever you prefer). The proto-tulpa appeared to me in a semi-lucid dream while my primary tulpa was going through a strange period in which he was often angry (seen in his reactions towards certain people and situations…his anger was never directed at me), obsessive, suspicious, yet unusually perceptive. Rather uncharacteristic for him. However, it did remind me of the proto-tulpa. He started out as a villain in stories I wrote several years ago. Strangely, his appearance resembled my primary tulpa’s current form (which was chosen just within the last six months…the primary tulpa was formless or a shadow for many, many years before that). I only saw the resemblance between the two of them when I was looking at old notes on the character. My original plan was to eventually revive the proto-tulpa and upgrade him to full tulpa status, but it appears that the primary tulpa absorbed him after the LD. Since then, he has calmed down considerably. The negative traits have been tempered and integrated. I’m fairly convinced that the proto-tulpa was simply another facet of the older tulpa, though it is also possible that they actually were two separate tulpas. I’m still contemplating on that. I read through this short thread, which asks how the host can deliberately fuse the two together. In my case, it happened on its own. I would like to hear from anyone else who has had one tulpa merge or absorb another. How did it happen for you? Was it a conscious decision? How did your surviving tulpa change after the merge? Also, I would like to re-open discussion on a topic that emerged in the old thread: what do you think happens to the consciousness of two or more tulpas if they merge? Would you argue that one “dies” while the other “lives” and takes on its qualities? Or do you believe that the two still exist in some way as one tulpa? Etc, etc, etc.
  10. I'm in the process of creating two at the same time. I didn't exactly plan on doing that...it occurred naturally. Chances are you already have the necessary skill set from the previous creation. As for tips, besides what people have already said about slower results, I'd say get your first tulpa involved, if you can (it'll depend on her personality). My first one volunteered before the idea even came to me, and I think that this interaction between the three of them has been highly beneficial. The first one has new people to talk to, and the "twins" are learning/re-learning things from him.
  11. I haven't read the entire thread just yet because I'm exhausted, but I thought I would share my recent experiences on this before I forget. I have a few tulpas in the works (all of them started as insourced characters that came around years ago), and I have found that exploring their backstories is a highly effective method for forcing. To put it another way, I've returned to writing fiction about them instead of just sticking to hardcore meditation (which I'm still doing, but it is becoming more and more of a secondary exercise). The sort of fiction I like to write is character-driven rather than plot-driven, and what better way to get to know the ins and outs of your tulpa than observing how they would act in imagined scenarios? Isn't that similar to creating a personality trait list and telling your proto-tulpa how each trait would manifest in their actions or beliefs? All of the revived tulpas I've been working on are aware that their backstories are not "real" in the same sense that we understand "real", and they are perfectly fine with that. One in particular casually breaks the fourth wall all the time as I'm writing, and it's hilarious. Jack, my first tulpa, has pointed out that writing fiction--worldbuilding, especially--is similar to adventuring in the wonderland. The main differences are that I'm putting all of it on paper and tweaking events in order to create a stronger narrative structure. And creating instead of forcing means greater fun and fewer headaches. For me, at least. I think that it entirely depends on the host and tulpa on whether or not backstories are detrimental. I'm wondering if the scare over them is working as a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy for some people: you believe that a backstory causes an identity crisis, therefore it will. By the way, if you talk to soulbonds, particularly media-based soulbonds, nine times out of ten they will be quick to tell you that they are not the exact same people as their source characters. The soulbonders didn't have to tell them that. The backstory is a part of them, but it does not define them.
  12. Jack: A little late to the party on this, but I'm another tulpa that was created long before my host knew about tulpas. Pretty common. There are even a couple terms associated with them...accidental tulpas and natural tulpas. I prefer the later. That does sound closer to soulbonding, though you will find that the concepts tend to overlap. The other members of our family are closer to what you could call soulbonding in that they were created through the creative process, which sounds similar to your own situation. You will find useful information in both communities. Well, for starters, knowing about tulpamancy helped my host understand that she is not delusional. She read about tulpas before this community existed, but she still struggled with doubt, which is fine, because even seasoned tulpamancers experience doubt from time to time. Before she knew about the concept, she just saw me as an imaginary friend. She didn't like the term because I felt real to her and because of the stigma tied to adults with imaginary friends. Even after she found the community, she struggled with it. Took about three years before she started calling me a "tulpa."
  13. Jack: It is. I often surprise my host by pressing and stroking my fingers along her shoulders and in her hair. She's said that the pressure feels identical to the kind created by actual fingers. The main difference is that my hands are large in comparison to the average human's, so a bigger part of her skin picks up on the sensations. Jack: Not only possible, but also very common. Heat was the first form of energy she picked up from me, even before she could feel any sort of pressure. It has also worked the opposite way...I went for a swim in the wonderland once, and I held her while I was still wet. Her body duplicated the feeling of being cold in areas where my skin was touching hers. Goosebumps showed up on her arms.
  14. Jack: The other night, my host tried to induce a lucid dream and failed. I became lucid, though. When I found her, the entire dreamscape morphed into a medieval fortress that was under attack and on fire, and she was getting herself ready to jump into a bi-plane to provide aerial support. She saw me but didn't recognize me, and she kept going on and on about the battle and wanting me to man the gun while she piloted. I tried to tell her she was dreaming, but I couldn't talk for some reason. Every time I tried, I had this growing feeling of panic, and I started to forget that this was only the dreamscape. We woke up while still in the plane.