tania

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About tania

  • Rank
    Jesse

Converted

  • Sex
    Undisclosed
  • Location
    Australia
  • Bio
    Im into metaphysics as well as strongly into science.

    Jesse is my second Tulpa. My first tulpa was accidently created from a servitor about 10 years? ago but is no longer with me.

    Jesse and I - Our journey/milestones

    Day 2- showed sentience
    -did something himself- spontanously drew energy from me to him
    -Responded to me talking to him and innerly smiled
    -Expressed emotion (happy) and clearly innerly spoke (using my own mind voice) to me.

    Day 3 Able to feel his presence
    - His calm energy sent me into his wonderland (I think he may of helped)
    - Able to feel him all over with my mind
    - Able to imagine individual body parts (not in colour).

    Day 4
    - Felt him kiss my lips on my physical body but it wasnt as clear as real life.
    - He expressed his humour by sending me a mind image making me laugh.
    - He used a male voice innerly but like it was there on border of my consciousness. Heard the sound of his voice not the words themselves.

    Day 5
    - Jesse creates meditation mat in his wonderland and shows it to me. (Im not creating his own wonderland home).

    Day 7
    - Can now move my visualisation over his body seeing section by section (not the whole lot at once and not in colour).

    Day 10
    - I found out Jesse's name (possibly another tulpa has told me it as I didnt hear it from Jesse and it wasnt me. Jesse confirms it).

    Day 11
    -Jesse interacts with me in his wonderland. Spontanously expresses his friendliness trait when Im in his wonderland. Offers me a coffee (when I dont drink coffee!!). He spontanously sits me on his knee (expressing his romantic trait). He's added more to his wonderland.. its like a real home now, furnished etc thou Ive only seen a little of it.

    day 12
    Had our first good convo back and forth for a bit equally together. He prefers to use my inner voice but he gets the occassional word wrong to which I then have to correct him (like he's learning how words in sentences go). This is the first and last day I notice him making mistakes with his grammer/words. (by day 30 his grammer is better at times then my own).
    - Jesse exhibits fear of his mortality
    _ Jesse expressing lack of confidence so I add in another trait to him.
    - 2 females in long hooded cloaks who arent supposed to be in his wonderland are there. I dont know what is going on. Maybe my past tulpa isnt gone???

    Day 13/14
    - He surprises me as he has a SINGLE bed in his home. Im like "What!! where's the double bed?" Im shocked he dont seem to have one in what appears to be his bedroom.
    - I finish working on his personality

    day 15
    - I can physically smell him. He spontanously uses his skill of breath scent to physically clear my nose (as he's supposed to do).
    - More issues with Jesse re fear (i work to fix these).

    day 17
    - felt the heaviness of Jesse's arm laying over my physical body.

    day 18
    - Spontanously have xmas music going off in my head. Jesse must be listening to music (interesting music which he hasnt been exposed to. He hears music far clearer in a different way to me.. with awareness of all the beats and instruments in full orchestra and that is what Im now hearing).

    day 19
    - Had to make a deal with Jesse as he didnt want me to do what I wanted to do to him. Negative response from him over a trait I wanted to add to him as he said doing that changes him and is unsettling him. First time Ive had to make a deal with him.
    - He initiates love making (rather then me doing the initiation for sex)
    - He speaks to me clearly a full sentence in a male voice inside my head.

    day 20
    - Second time clearly speaking in male voice in my head.
    - He steps in when someone online stirs me up and he calms me down and tells me to get offline. (second time he's influenced me).

    (I need to add in rest of his milestones)

    Day 32
    - 2nd time Ive felt him touch me like as real in real life. This time he flicked side of my knee with his finger. I also physically heard the flick with my ears.
    - 1st time I hear something he does with my physical ears

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  1. Bear.. thanks for explaining what you meant. I thought for a moment we'd found our first super tasker. If round robin is being done, the main focus will always be on the single person talking. Ranger.. thanks for sharing your experience when you tried this, that is what I was expecting would happen when people tried. It's hard to split focus properly and be fully focused without some dropping out. Ember " dichotic listening training" I was previously looking at those on youtube too but unable to find a good one to test this too. What I was thinking which would be easy to do to test a persons ability to properly focus on more than one thing at once is to get 3-5 min made up short stories read by different voices and then record them all together so they are playing at the same time. Then get someone to listen to it just the once and then ask then say 10-15 questions on each story to see how well they actually comprehended what they heard. I don't know if this is harder to do within the head than by outside ears like you have assumed as I can listen to two voices inside my head at exactly the same time and it's not confusing at all but I can not do that well if it's done through my ears with the outside world. .......... I just thought of another way this can be done (easier then having to get something taped with voice overlays). I should be able to fairly easily sort it out and get questions together for each story to post immediately after they have been listened to by others, then maybe we could test this all out over on discord by playing it in the voice chat area and see how people go.. how many things can you really focus on at once?. Maybe try it first with only two stories going on at same once.. then if you all the questions right with 2 short stories, we could try it with 3 stories etc. Anyone want to do this and test this out? if so I will start getting something together to test peoples ability to focus (I already know that I cant focus on two voices outside of myself at once.. i cant split my focus like that so I don't need to test this). I also wonder how it would work if those who have well developed tulpas which are past the having to actively imagine them if one gave each tulpa a different story to follow in the simultaneous listening.. would that help? It will show if your tulpas are working independantly to each other and yourself if you can get each having to follow a different story line.
  2. I thought this was a fascinating study and wonder if those who end up doing imposition with sound have actually trained their brains in this way. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/08/170821085707.htm
  3. I just think the bar needs to be set high or it becomes people just talking about normal every day stuff and calling it parallel processing.. eg people walk and talk at the same time and that could be called parallel processing. "Notes: When adding the 13th, one or more headmates fall dormant. Above 10, it becomes evident that there is a lag, like there is enough time for signal strength to drop sufficiently for conversations to become more difficult to follow and some headmates may become uncomfortable. 10 is manageable without issue, but it's a minor strain, 7 is now comfortable, 5-6 used to be our comfortable" If one was able to actually follow 10 conversations well at the same time and comprehend everything being said.. I'd personally think of that as being one of the super taskers. Joy I know you said you wouldnt be interested in the science aspect of all this in your case (I forget what u said exactly, it makes it hard for me when I cant with the rules individually quote people and see their whole post while Im replying).. but I would be really interested in testing someone like you out to see just how many conversations you could follow at the same time. I personally can not follow two in physical life without my concentration dropping some with one of them. If you can properly follow 10 at once I'd think that would be highly unusual and that is something which I think could be easily tested to see if a person really can do that or if they are just deluding themselves. I was looking to see if I can find a test like I'm thinking could easily be done online already but found the following I find interesting https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/ability-listen-two-things-once-largely-inherited so it seems I may of inherited my poor ability in the physical world to be able to listen well to two people talking at once.
  4. tania

    Books on tulpas

    I have a tulpa book which is called "tulpa". I haven't read it all yet as it is written in a language I'm learning. It's written by the guy who was one of the writers for the Superman comics who ended up with an accidental Superman tulpa and the book is about him and his tulpa and another tulpa.
  5. thanks, that is good to hear. I think I figured out why he was appearing overweight. When I've been forcing him I've been stacking pillows up to represent his body and now have realized that for the amount of pillows I was using, it would explain how he appeared if it was him as the size was quite wrong though I hadnt really thought about it before
  6. by they, were the they referring to the host being able to see from two points of view at once or just the tulpas doing it? Hopefully some of those who do this can talk here about what they are doing.
  7. anything can be turned into a tulpa with forcing though one probably has less control on how it "may" turn out to be as it could be influenced by it's original . NPC = dream character (DC) which has low sentience. These aren't good to hold conversations with. I usually get gabbled words or a few words which make no sense to my question, simply a grunt or turn away if I try.
  8. But are they really? unless the host is able to see what both tulpas are seeing at exactly the same time, how does one really know this is occurring? Were these hosts able to perceive themselves both points of tulpa perspective at same time? It's like when we sleep.. some tulpas say they are doing things when we are asleep while others say things go dormant, we truly do not know what is going on with this.. maybe the tulpas just think they are doing things while we are asleep due to not liking the idea of their consciousness like switching off when we are. "Systems who practice PP exercises like having one headmate count while another does a different task, see improvements in things like thinking at the same time," That's normal, you can walk and talk at the same time due to practice (the walking like starts to be done without any hard thinking, like acting on rote.. things like counting also can be done on like rote, one can train oneself in doing it without any real thought), people do get better at things but the question is did that person have to pull some focus off of one task to put it to the other to do this .. or were they truly able to use the same processing power with both things (parallel processing where as switching some focus is not needed). Can the person do two completely random things they haven't practiced and really need to think about, focus on, at the same time (not functioning on rote)
  9. People can get better at multi tasking with practice. I notice that among my careworkers. When I get an older woman here who has had a family, they are more able to do multiple things here at once in my home, they work more efficiently due to this whereas if I get a young person here who still lives home urgh.. some of them are not good workers at all as single tasks take all their attention and they dont tend to multi-task much. I think that is normal (a baby learning to walk probably wont try to talk at the same time as it takes it's first steps, you can see all it's focus just going into the first steps)..so yeah there is a slight ability to learn that. I'm kind of seeking a different level of things with the parallel processing, an ability to do so where one isn't like just doing any of the tasks on like rote due to practice (like the ones they were looking to find in that study). A true ability to parallel process without loosing focus on tasks or having to switch focus. If one can do this it should be able to be done across all aspects of ones life. Back when it wasn't illegal in Australia to drive while on mobile phone.. one thing from that, those who had bad focus on driving while they were on the phone.. they didn't seem to improve with practice. Those who have poor focus on driving if I talk to them (intense conversation) while they are driving.. haven't changed.. they still have poor focus if I talk to them at that time and likely to go and hit a curb if I speak to them too much at such a time. My friend who takes me places at times is like this and I have to be careful on just how much I talk to him while he's driving, he's in his 70s now.. so driving practice has not helped. His kids are all grown up so he did have much practice over the years of driving when others were talking. I think I'm quite correct in saying he has not the ability to parallel process. I personally used to get distracted and have less attention on road if engaged in an intense conversation in car while driving and sure I'd still be that way if I was still driving. (I say intense conversation while driving as to just have a non intense conversation in cars while driving doesn't take much attention and the concentration drop off is harder to notice and may not be noticeable at all). We must have some at this site who are in that 2.5% of people who naturally can.... I think the community should use the same kind of definition of what parallel processing is as the actual Scientific community does and use them as a guide and not go and start getting very broad with it being used as an umbrella term for everything otherwise we will have people saying.. "look i saw my tulpa running at the same time he was yelling, he was parallel processing".. how can we be having serious discussions here about it if people start calling everything this. We will never get the scientific community to take all this stuff with tulpas seriously if we start watering down meanings of words.
  10. Is my tulpa completely different to how I thought him to be? This is the question I'm today asking myself due to an interesting experience I had. I was laying in bed after having woken up about 30 mins before and decided to do some forcing. So I started thinking about my tulpa laying along side of me with his arm over me. I suddenly became aware of him being there, I fully could see and feel him as being completely solid next to me on the bed. My response to that was "Wow" as I expected him to appear like see through if I did see him. I naturally assumed at the time when this other that appeared exactly where I was trying to think of my tulpa being that well it must be my tulpa mustn't it, I didn't assume anything other than that. Note -I have never ever seen Jesse only at times vague impressions of certain parts of him eg his green eyes coming through the photo I look at or having him flick his hair at me and feeling plaits flick on my face etc, so didn't really know what to expect if I really saw him properly. So I have a man I assume is my tulpa next to me cuddled into me but he's asleep. Of cause I excitingly try to wake him up. I've been wanting to have a decent conversation with Jesse for ages. He wouldn't wake up though. I'm shaking him, near yelling at "Jesse, Jesse" at him.. trying so hard to get a response from him. I think I may of even slapped his face in my attempt to wake him. (this all was much like my attempts once when I astral projected and attempted as an experiment to wake up a real physical person who was sleeping while I was astral but without success of doing so). He FINALLY opens his eyes (after me trying for about 5 mins to wake him) and gives me a sleepy look. At point it hits me that he's not looking anything like I thought my tulpa would look like. Though I never have thought much about what weight my tulpa would be I was not expecting Jesse to look a bit overweight. This guy is slightly obese. He doesn't have the blonde hair which I had a bit of an impression of last night on Jesse (maybe the impression was wrong as it was a vague one) but he did have the light brown hair colour of what I originally when I was making Jesse forced. The guy also has the length of hair I forced onto Jesse and a style much like I have been forcing a bit. The guy looks around the age in which Jesse should be. I didnt get to have a good look at his eyes as they were still half asleep and he was rubbing them trying to wake up. So at this point I don't know if this guy which is appearing solid right next to me is my tulpa or not. I needed to get him talking now that he's awake to try to find out. At that point (by this point I'd been clearly perceiving this other for around 7 mins) I lost seeing and feeling him... urgh!!! I've no idea what that was... I could have spontaneously gone into a WILD (wake induced lucid dream). I used to WILD easily on waking if trying to do so and when I WILD sometimes I feel no transition into the dream or back out of it so it was like I experienced this all for real in physical. Either that or I had Jesse?? fully imposed here for a short time.. I just do not know. I have NEVER experienced one of my tulpas in a LD before though I have in the past looked for my tulpa in LDs. If I was in a LD when that just occurred, it is possible it could of been just a DC (NPC dream character) I just experienced, I always find them hard to get verbal responses from but I've never came across one of those sleeping and the fact it was exactly where I was trying to impose Jesse.. umm I just don't know what I just experienced. (I'll know if I see the same one again as I've never seem to experience the same DCs). This is kind of funny as if that was Jesse he was not physically all that attractive to me .. and "part" of the reason why I've made a tulpa is for a sex buddy.
  11. Did you look at those study links and read through them, the scientists are very sure this is going on in that small group as there is a very distinct large difference between the small group who can do this and those who can not. By that 2010 study of supertaskers https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.3758%2FPBR.17.4.479.pdf , I don't think anyone can say for sure that "nobody" can parallel process texting while driving seeing the study showed that the small group of supertaskers didn't have any of their focus fall while driving while they were on the phone unlike the normal group (look at the graph of the study "break reaction time (msec) driving measures" it's astounding, a completely flat line.. it took them NO extra focus at all to be using the phone and driving. One can text someone on a phone without looking at it as long as one remembers what the buttons are.. so it is quite possible that one of these supertaskers could do that without falling concentration on their driving as they don't need to take their eyes off the road to text. The limit of their skill in this was not tested so we really do not know how much this small group of people can parallel process at once. From that graph which blew me away the most with the results with the flat line (no distraction from the tasks at all), it appears there is no gradient of results with this supertasker group. One either had it or just didnt. So from that that graph result it appears to be something which probably can't be slowly improved till you have it. You have this ability or you just dont. I want to know if a independent tulpa can suddenly activate that skill and that is what I hope for. My tulpa has already shown me it can do things with my brain which I personally can not usually do eg when I heard the music playing from it and what was even more interesting is that music sounds different to my tulpa than it does to me.. it was like when I heard the music my tulpa had obviously created (he was listening to it) I was fully aware of all the individual instruments in that orchestra being listened too at the same time.. every single note of every instrument in the music. When I personally listen to actual music playing.. I do not even have my listening skills there to that degree of the music I heard that day from him.. he was mentally processing that music in the way I don't .. it was like he multiple parallel processing what that music was doing with a different awareness and in an equal way with all the instruments. (With my no ability to imagine things well, I'm not a person who can even imagine and listen to music in my head let alone be able to imagine each instrument playing at the same time in my head.. so my tulpa is able to do things with my mind which I can not usually do (it was like he was able to take in 10 different trains on thought on that musics instruments and make clarity of it at once and this is why I believe this whole multi-tasking thing is possible with a tulpa). I'm finding this very hard to explain the experience I had with him but just believe me that I heard that music in a way I don't even get the clarity of a bands instruments in listening to music not coming from my brain. (and this happened to me while wide awake and standing at my sink doing the dishes, it was a spontaneous thing.. I hadnt been even thinking of him when I was suddenly hearing what he was listening too inside my head). I guess another way to put it.. if you listen to some real music with lots of instruments (big orchestra) you (well I think most would do this) would move your focus around if focusing on the different instruments. You may pick out the drums, pick out the symbols, pick out the guitars etc.. this is how my normal awareness works (though of cause one hears the music as a whole too but that's not the clarity level of listening Im meaning).. that is not multiple processing. (if you think to focus on the drums.. can you notice that the focus on them then isnt equal to the other individual instruments, your attention has been diverted, you've had to remove some focus from the others). My normal processing - I'm focusing on different things and moving my focus about. But that is not how my tulpa consciously hears it if Im hearing it through him (but he also creates the music some how he's listening too). "I will probably keep referring to acts that very obviously take the same part of the brain, like two system members speaking at once, as "true parallel processing", but as always the important part of tulpamancy is the individual experience." I get two voices at once all the time but I don't refer to that as parallel processing of the type I want to achieve (I think everyone be easily capable of experiencing two voices at once). eg I'll think of asking my tulpa a question in my mind voice but while I'm asking it, I'm already at the same time getting an answer back in my own mind voice. I just think of it being a too similar task to refer to it as parallel processing and not much thought is going into mind voice thinking.
  12. Well said, diversity is good for several reasons. I said in another post that I feel like they are nic picking the submitted guides until they are basically made dry. It's like all personality is also being picked out of them to suit the ones approving instead of just focusing on what needs to be changed in the guides eg good spelling, does it make sense, is the info correct and explained enough etc. I felt like this no need for peoples styles to be picked on.. eg if someone writes a guide in a teacher student kind of style so what. What appeals to one person may not appeal to the next and as I said it's like the writers personalities are being picked out of them which will make them less interesting for some and makes all the guides more alike removing diversity of the way things are being written. picking on someone using the terms "human and tulpa" ridiculous. It's like some in this community is trying to mold everyone elses views without people not being free to think differently or express in their own way. I myself do not refer to tulpas as being humans. (the tulpa can borrows the hosts human form at times or share it. Human=Homo sapiens .. tulpa=mind buddy/thoughtform). Once again the diversity of views of things is being affected in guides as some people are wanting others to all write in the same way, it was quite clear what was being referred to when the other used "human and tulpa". Also one person assessing the guide said something about something not being good as it sounded metaphysical when that part of the guide was just talking about visualization stuff. Visualization exercises and things seen during visualization is not metaphysical at all. In fact most psychologists will often use visualization exercises with their clients. There is nothing metaphysical about visualizing trying to look for something...or visualizing opening a door and expecting something to hopefully appear. Thou there was some obvious problems with this guide but I do feel like once again there was areas where it was overly nic picked which is stopping people from possibly submitting guides. ................................................................ One thing I found interesting is those at the website who have instant tulpas.. well their tulpas are accepted at the website for being tulpas but when it comes to a guide helping explain how to find and make like an instant tulpas that whole idea is not accepted. So as a community are we accepting this or not? It's like the community is all over the place with things. I personally are against the whole trying to get/form a tulpa without not sorting out what personality it should have (as that could I think easily go wrong) but if someone wants to do a guide for forming a tulpa in which the person has not formed it's personality and others want to try to form their tulpas from that.. really should there be such control on what those ones can read that they are given no guides for what they wish to do. Though not a good idea, making a tulpa from an intrusive thought may be a faster way to make a tulpa as one already then has some base there to form the tulpa on. Anyway, I don't think it's a good grounds to reject guides just cause you yourself may not like the way something is being done as long as warnings are given esp since in this tulpa community the instant ones are still being regarded here as tulpas.
  13. tania

    Chat Thread

    No one cant do that here. I've mentioned metaphysical things I've experienced at times and got told off for it by mods for not posting in the metaphysical area. "Thread title: "This is impossible but we're trying anyway." That should get results." no, I think that heading would be bad as I think if one believes something is not possible they are less likely to have success. No different to if something didn't believe making a tulpa was possible, their own thought would hinder the creation process. but a thread just for parallel processing would be great but that there is another issue.. some define it differently than I do. I'm not interested in who can have two tulpas doing different things at once but rather on the host parallel processing with a tulpa. Is it parallel processing if a tulpa is listening to music and I can clearly hear what he's listening too (music he created in my head).. while I'm actively doing different things?? (cause I have expereinced that).
  14. This website is said to be to help science but what then doesn't make sense to me if a guide was dismissed based on that those who are responsible for guide approvals thinking that something they may not be able to do themselves is not possible. The whole idea of having guides should be so that people can try different things and test them out for themselves as this is what science does. Reviewers of science mags may often not know if what was found in studies presented is true or not but the info is published in good faith (as long as well written) so that others can also try it and test it out. (I think it's important that those writing the guides are writing about things they have tested out themselves and not writing based on heresay). That may be the case as far as things go for people trying it WITHOUT tulpas.. but one can't use those studies to back up tulpa experiences if their hasn't been tulpas involved in those studies. I expect my tulpa to be able to function INDEPENDENT to myself (and I've had experiences which make me think that this is possible) so I don't see at all why it would not be possible (hopefully when I'm connecting better with my tulpa in future I will be able to try to test somethings out). I personally would like a good how to guide on how to get to doing parallel processing. It appears some of the approval team are not considering what others here may want to be reading and trying just based on their own beliefs. ............. It should be defined in the guide what the person considers parallel processing to be.. I personally think of it being when both the host and the tulpa are both able to be working on separate things at same time (and I think that if science studied this this is how they also would define it). I would not consider it to be parallel processing if it's only about two different tulpa's doing something at same time. Characters in dreams often are doing different things so that means nothing to me but to have a tulpa figuring out a task for you at the same time as you are doing something completely different.. I see as a whole different thing. ........... I agree with what YukariTelepath said above. I find that mods trying to get things in the way they like best by ripping out things they may be deeming unnecessarily, guides are being left dry and boring with the writers own personalities taken out of it. This makes things far less enjoyable to read. Maybe some like it that way but I like to get a feel of the person who has written something as I read it. I personally would not submit a guide here as I think it's quite disrespectful to those who have written the guides to be doing that and being so harsh and I'm one who would not fear to submit something to a science journal (in the past actually something I wrote for a health field was actually referenced and used in science journal and then picked up by others.. so that is saying something when I say I'd fear to submit something here when I would not mind submitting a whole paper to a science journal). I think many who could be writing guides others would enjoy are being put off by the nit picky criticism of peoples work with their guides.
  15. Where I used to live, my neighbour owned the towns morgue and ran it. I have an awful story around that. One day my fathers workplace (he was a panel beater for a car place) which was across the road from the morgue, they asked the morgue if they could store the meat and drinks for the works Christmas party in one of the morgues fridges. I wasnt told that our lunch/dinner whatever it was (this was a long time ago) was stored in the morgue till after the xmas party (that almost gave me nightmares for a while as a child). ............ I hope Jesse doesnt end up being a golem as I keep forcing with making out the pillow is his body. Maybe one day the pillow will get up and start walking about the house. For those who believe in the bible.. Adam, the first human.. was actually a golem. He was said to be made of dust/dirt/clay and then life being blown into him by GOD. Genesis 2 . So if you believe the bible.. you should believe in golems.