White Light

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  1. I'm pretty sure a tulpa can easily do that, so long as you knew where the remote was at some point or if you had all the necessary puzzle pieces able to piece together the location of the remote.
  2. Still haven't done much... I'm going to sit down and force now, even though it's two in the morning.
  3. No- you'd say, "for someone to achieve success, they must work hard." They is gender neutral, and it is gender indistinguishable, to my understanding. So something that doesn't have a gender or the gender is mostly irrelevant or indistinguishable (i.e. she's my dog vs it's my dog, that is a bee vs she is a bee), which I believe tulpa might fall under, as they can change anything about themselves to my understanding, including their gender(?). However, note the "they" in my sentence. I do strongly recommend using "they" and "he or she" whenever possible, of course, but I don't think it's that terrible to in very certain context call the tulpa an it. (e.g. "It's a boy/girl" when referring to a newborn - when the gender of the newborn is indistinguishable like that of a dog for example, "it" applies when trying to describe him or her)
  4. Ah, I see! Hm, thanks for the tip! Is there any specific area that is widely known to be easier for the tulpa to press on? (i.e. I think it'll be harder to press on a vein on my hand than some light headache or pressure at some part in my head)
  5. A concerned tulpamancer asking a completely serious question which concerns them greatly about the health of their future tutlpa is never, ever pointless. You're a very opinionated man, which I'm sure many people, including I, appreciate, but there comes a few topics where you might want to exercise restraint. Quite right, in my opinion.
  6. Haha, well shit. No, can't say that's a plan! I guess I'll leave that "stop heart theory" in the dark.
  7. Hey, thanks! I'll keep that in mind. But it's just it's so hard to talk to someone and not get any replies. I'm bad at starting conversations, but I'm great at keeping them flowing. I just need something to latch on to, but nothing besides a little pressure makes narration and just talking to her very difficult. It's very encouraging when I notice signs, but it doesn't really help the effectivity of my lessons. I'll try to keep your tip in mind!
  8. I was at a party tonight, and at times I tried to concentrate on Aurie. Sadly, I failed - I didn't technically sit down and force at all today. I'll try to do so when I go to bed - it's just become so hard as of late.
  9. I actually left it out, mostly because I'm still speculating with a few things I have, and waiting for email replies. I'm just sure there's something higher than tulpa that we can manage. Perhaps upgrading your own consciousness to have access to everything a tulpa and servitor has? And a godform is the duplication of this? (i.e. egregore is an enhanced sigil, and godform is an enhanced servitor or tulpa? Perhaps one that can at will, say, shut down your heart, or regrow a lost limb?) - I've no idea, and I'm eager to find out. I submit to the belief that the mind is capable of everything - I don't mean raising your hand to the sky and summoning lightning or flame, but I mean regrowing a lost finger or eye, changing your hormones, forcibly removing parts from your body, and such, but the entire brain is on autopilot, and modifying any of these functions isn't supposed to happen, and our consciousness is forbidden access to these functions. If we can use these egregores, godforms, tulpas and such to "hack" the brain (as much a fantasy as it sounds), it opens a whole new world.
  10. That's not metaphysical, anymore than calling a tulpa a tulpa. The origin of the words meant one thing, I'm talking about another. Seeing we're reusing "servitor", "tulpa" and such from the Tibetian tulpa, I personally also lend "Sigil" to describe what a few of my friends, who are psychiatrics, psychologists and medical doctors, term a happiness modification. For example, one of my friends who's a medical doctor can often guess who'll recover from cancer, simply because of how happy they seem to be. The more they're happy, downgrade the importance of the cancer in their life and such, the better chance they'll recover it seems - I believe it's connected to how if we ignore our tulpae, they will slowly be eliminated, if only tangentially. Not that the tulpae's destruction method is the reason for how a cancer cell is successfully eliminated, but that both a tulpae's destruction and a cancer cell's destruction are sibling methods, who's parent is... I don't know, there's no name for it. But what I know is that all these people are confused, but have simply for the time being labeled it down as "happiness = better life", yet it doesn't explain how if you tell yourself every morning and every night "I'm the best person for the job of CEO", eventually you'll start acting like one subconsciously, which would result in people thinking that, too. One of the biggest reasons I have for trying to create a tulpa is to study this phenomenon and conduct home-made research and share it with the people I know, who found this a very odd, and yet a very exciting prospect, and want to hear more.
  11. Am I? It's actually talking completely psychologically here. I don't believe I've drawn upon any metaphysical aspects, as I'm not really into that. 'Bout time we make something like that then, isn't it? "Thought double" is not a noun - it would be a tragedy upon the English language to call it that.
  12. Any recommendations then? The idea of another language is to express a literal meaning and to make it a pure name for the specific term. Many nouns in the English language are derived from literal Latin meaning, such as 'cognitive' is derived from 'cognito'. Tulpa is not English, either - whatever we do, unless we find some ingenius combination, for it to become a new English name it's best to derive it from some kind of Latin word. (e.g. the name Joshua is derived from the Hebrew name 'Yehoshua', which means 'Savior', or 'Deliverer' - so the name basically takes a meaning or couple of words from another language and Englishifies them.)
  13. So let it be so. I've been procrastinating for a long time. I had begun forcing months ago, but after a couple days I'd stopped, as to be honest I just couldn't sit down so long and force, but I always entertained the notion of having a tulpa. I wrote down over twenty traits and thought them over a couple of times, wrote pragraphs for all of them, and whether it's an outer, inner or core trait. But I stopped, though still Aurie was on my mind, every couple of days. I visited Tulpa.info every week, maybe - looking around, searching for research updates, seeing how things went, but I never really sat down and wanted to really commit myself to it. However, I stumbled upon a post that scared me - and I can't really describe how much it scared me. I heard a tulpa retell a story of how their creator had created them, and wasn't aware they had done so, and had essentially given up or lost time to do so, I'd forgotten exactly what was it. The tulpa was dying, hurting for a long time, but the scarce attention given here and there to the tulpa kept it on a life-line long enough until the creator sat once again and finished the tulpa. I sat down for a while and thought about it, and as I read more about recent conclusions that some tulpa are sentient very early, however lack most cognitive skills such as speaking, really scared me. So I decided to finish Aurie - I forced in my bed until I finally fall asleep, and I force for at least fifteen minutes besides that every day, or so my standards were. That's not enough though, I concluded. I searched, and found, a shoe lace and tied it in a certain way to my finger - I straightened the lace, and made ears, right next to one another, just a bit longer than inch each in height. I put the right one below the left one, and placed it on top of my index finger. I secured it a little bit so it won't itch, but not enough so that it would disturb or hurt my blood flow. From there, I did the basic setup of setting your shoe laces (sorry, not native to English, I'm not sure what that's called - when you begin tying your shoes, you have a small procedure where you tie each one to the other and press down, and then begin the actual tying together. I'm talking about this.) over and over and over again until I ran out, which resulted in what looks like a ring connected to a chain. This chain is always erect, so it doesn't disturb me as I type so long as I swing it around to face someplace other than my keyboard. However, when I'm walking, I instinctively grab or play with it, which reminds me better than I would by accidentally noticing it as I walk around. I tried narration, but I just suck at it. I've nothing to tell my tulpa, as I have this weird instinct that tells me she already knows what happened during my day, so I've not much to say. "Alright, this is street X, and I'm going to Y, to do Z..." can't do much more than that, but I do try to think about her, as I think that's what counts. Attention, and most of all, belief. I really do believe, I can't say I've any lingering doubt - I'm super excited for her to finally speak back, however at times I think she might already have. I already felt surprises in my head - my Wanderland is strangely a desert, although I'm fairly sure I picked that one myself. It's the desert at the entrance of the Silkroad second city, where a huge arch lies. I walked around this desert, which I think I picked since it represented a painful, repetitve gameplay that I continued to do since I wanted to achieve a certain goal, no matter what. There were quests in this MMORPG such as "Slay 1000 of Death Blossom" - and when you turn it in, the followup quest is basically "Slay 2000 of Super Death Blossom". It was incredibly repetitive, but I finished these quests, I'd done it all, since I really wanted to achieve. This desert reminds me that in order for my tulpa to come into this world fully, I need to go and slay those three thousand Blossoms one last time. Aurie takes the form of the My Little Pony character "Twilight Sparkle", however I stress whenever I force that should she desire it, she may change to any other pony she likes, or even a non-pony appearance. I do not call her Twilight Sparkle though, but rather Aurie, to stress this point. Two days ago, as I entered my wonderland, I had without realizing it looked down to Aurie, and saw she was wearing a white gown. I don't believe I made her dress that, but it was odd, as it didn't appear when next I visualized her the day later. My Wonderland was initially a kitchen, which lead to a grand white room with colorful circles all around, and two separate beds. I'd abandoned this Wonderland as a part of me is trying to scare me, though I really don't know why. The first time we were there, I was going out the back door and climbing a ladder, and she was right behind me. I brought myself up above the exit, and brought a hand down to help her up (of course, I'm mostly puppeting her so far), when I actually stared into a green, chaotic monster. My heart skipped a beat and I panicked for a moment, and I forced that green face that covered her out. It returned. I removed it, and yet a part of me always kept bringing it back. It looked so familiar, so I brought her down and back into the white room with circles. Everywhere, these faces were appearing around me, and I couldn't get rid of them. Whenever I did, they just came back - it's like the "don't think about elephants thing". The more I focused on removing them, the more they came along, and after a couple of minutes of not knowing if my tulpa had become an abomination because I left her for so long, I realized what it was - the mask Eusteus uses in Courage the Cowardly Dog. I laughed, and hard, and visualized Aurie putting down the mask and laughing. I ignored the masks, and as time went on, they began disappearing, only appearing every now and then when I remember them, and I force them into a joke (i.e. a mask appears, and both me and Aurie laugh, for example - giggle at the ghostie, essentially, and then the mask just becomes irrelevant and fades). It still worries me why it came - I have this gut feeling it wasn't my tulpa, but it was in a way me. I think my subconscious fears my intentions to have a tulpa, for some reason. I don't know why - I know a tulpa won't harm me if I treat her fair and pay attention to her, which I have full intentions to do, whenever sexual desires invariably enter my head I dismiss them immediately, in fact I refused to masturbate since I began forcing, out of fear it would in some way change my tulpa. The mind is an arduous thing. Yesterday, when I once more appeared in the desert, I realized that the arch had a hidden door. Both me and Aurie went through it, and I begun seeing that white room with circles, or at least I think I expected it, when I had this idea that the room would change an instant before I opened the door - and when I saw a different place, my first thought was that it was just me. But it was really detailed - three sofas centered around a glass table with black legs, a widescreen TV with Playstation 3 on the table holding it, two large speakers on the front and back, bathroom a few meters behind, hallway to the right which I knew exactly where it leads... it was detailed far too quickly. The thing about it is that I usually imagine something, and then revise it - move this, change that, do that. It doesn't surprise me that I would have come up with a room out of desperation instantly, but what surprises me is that I came up with a final revision, and peculiarly had no urge to change it, in an instant. This made me feel like my tulpa was somehow connecting to me, and had done this, despite I'm pretty sure this happens later in the stage. No matter. Then my tulpa and I are unique - whatever this was, it was related to Aurie. I had begun, on the day I started forcing, hearing things in the dark as I forced. These sounds always distracted me, and they sounded incredibly real, so real that I have a hard time believing they were auditory hallucinations. It was the door. It creaked. The door didn't move, certainly, but I heard it creak. It was slightly ajar, because my power cable has to go through it and into an outlet outside of it. At first I suspected some kind of vermin - a rat, a beetle, a cockroach, something touching the cable repeatedly. The first day, I managed to phase it out. The second day was a lot harder, the noise kept showing up every 30 seconds until 3 in the morning, where I passed out at long last. The third day I gladly slept at a friend's house. The fourth day, I said I don't care what it is -hallucination, a roach, a beetle, I don't give a shit, they can't get through the door, I'm going to bed and sleep. A second, I kid you not, a second later when I said that, I heard a croak. So unexpected, so loud, I jumped in my skin, shut my eyes and told myself I imagined it. A second later, I heard it again. I opened the light, and leaped to my feet, but even as I ran to the door with a book, prepared to squash whatever it was, I realized the noises stopped. I flung the door open, and to my bitter realization, there was nothing there. Perhaps it scurried off, but perhaps I'm just hallucinating - this subconscious piece of me that doesn't want me to have a tulpa is trying to sabotage me every time I force. When I lie on my bed, there's an awful smell of dung - when I lie with no blankets, I can hear jittering, I believe it's called - like the clanking of some small insect's mouth, like that of a beetle. When I lie on my couch, I can hear small fluttering - not that of a fly, it was far larger, but not as though I was hearing a bird. It sounded like a flying cockroach - not an encouraging thought. And tonight, I hear bats outside my window. I whisper to Aurie, asking her to come and aid me, to help defend me against my wicked mind and imagination, this part of me that created Eusteus' mask, these bats, beetles, roaches, rats - I whisper, ask, focus on her, hoping with all my heart that she would come as quickly as possible. Am I going mad? I guess we'll find out.
  14. I quite like the term "Servitor", Egregore, and such, however it's the word "tulpa" that bugs me. I personally interpret "tulpa" as the topic in which sigil, servitor, egregore and godform lie. To me, a Sigil is the creation of "add-ons" on one's own subconscious - such as how if you tell yourself "I am happy" every morning and every night, after a while you'd start being happy and generally believing it. This is a well-known and documenated phenomenon, and I'm sure it's highly relevant to the tulpa phenomenon. For now though, I call this method the creation of a "Sigil". A Servitor, to me, is a servant mindform - you create an additional thoughtform, however the two thought processes are directly linked, always, resulting in a servitor, which essentially acts as a nonsentient servant to the host. I find the name 'servitor' quite apt for this. Then you have a tulpa, which is only in its youngest stages connected to the host, essentially acting as an umbilical cord. We feed the tulpa thoughts, emotions, informations and love until they can sustain themselves, and are 'born' into the world when they no longer require a direct link with the host to process and interpret everything. It's essential to note down that the tulpa phenomenon is a modification of the mind, essentially - it's treating the mind as hardware that addons can be applied to, and through this context it can be modified in every possible fashion, whether we know it or not, through the thoughtform. To me, it sounds like the term for the type of thoughtform, tulpa, as-is is already fitting. However, to address the phenomenon in itself, which is what we're looking for here, "cogitatio duplicātum" I find fitting - latin for "thought double."