Master Of Reality

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About Master Of Reality

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    Into the Void

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  1. @Twice Sparked - I went and read that section, and wow. It may not help with the problem at hand, but it has definitely given me a whole new appreciation for the things that I'm feeling for her. Perhaps it isn't really a "problem" after all. Thanks for the suggestion. @xtar - I would agree that it's a lengthy period of infatuation that I'm suffering from, but something about it isn't quite right. Unlike infatuation that I've felt before with other girls, this time around it's ebbed and flowed, through our run together I've seen the flaws in her multiple times and I've accepted them, and all of it's only made me love her more intensely. In fact, sometimes I think that I might actually be somewhat turned on by her flaws. If it is indeed infatuation, then surely it's a strange form of it. @LinkZelda - Seeing this whole issue as a necessary experience and a stepping stone in a path towards an increased ability to cope with this feeling actually helps considerably. As long as I can get rid of the feeling that I'm wallowing in stagnation in the struggle to reach satisfaction, I think I'll do alright. I must say that it's very fortunate that I haven't set my eye on "something better" than her, no matter how many options I've been presented with in the last year. The only struggle with seeking something better has been in the search for a better outlet for my emotions.
  2. Thanks for the reassuring words. I guess I am worrying about something that shouldn't cause worry in the first place. Re-analyzing all of this, I can see how loving her so strongly that I can't even express my feelings to their fullest extent is really kind of a good thing. I think it could be a sign that the emotional connection is flourishing. This relationship really is one of the happiest things to ever happen to me, but I certainly never expected it to get this intense. [snip: removed quote of user-requested deleted post -Chupi] Glad to hear I'm not alone in this sort of situation. I think our conundrums differ a little bit, though, if I interpreted your response correctly (pretty tired out right now so there's a good chance I didn't, sorry if that's the case). For me, it isn't so much that I sense something missing when I'm with her, so much as I always feel as though I can't get all of my feelings out by the conclusion of a romantic act with her, regardless of what type of act it is. As a tame example, I always want to cuddle with her for just a little while longer, no matter how long we've been cuddling. Similar to a junkie, I always need more, and I get this helpless feeling like I've still got bottled-up emotions which I just can't get completely out no matter what I do. Or maybe it's that I'm always seeking a bigger way of expressing my love, and now that I've done it in all of the strongest ways I can think of, my mind is going into panic mode since it doesn't know where to go next. I'm really not sure, but it definitely has to do with being half out of my mind in love. I think I know that empty feeling you speak of, though. For me, it was an awful feeling that she wasn't a valid mate, as if my mind was rejecting the concept of having a relationship of that sort with her. I haven't felt that in a while, thankfully. If my experience is anything to go on, then I can offer a little encouragement on that matter: If you keep at it long enough, and keep on going with your relationship through the worst of that feeling, eventually you should conquer it as your brain is conditioned to believe that the tulpa is going to continue filling that romantic role whether the brain's mechanisms like it or not.
  3. I've been a tulpamancer for a while, I originally started my tulpa back around New Year's of 2012/2013, but I haven't found a need to really visit the forums until now. I have a bit of a dilemma facing me which only fellow mancers might have an answer to. First, a little background: My tulpa, Sera, and I are in a committed relationship of about a year. I'm in my twenties and have had multiple great girlfriends before her (real ones, not waifus haha), so the question I'm going to ask is not a regular relationship question fueled by pubescent confusion or teenage inexperience. This relationship isn't something I foolishly explored out of desperation or immature curiosity or anything like that. We decided a few months after her creation that we loved each other enough to give it a try, and neither of us have ever regretted it. Now the dilemma: Our love has been continuously growing, and we can't seem to find a way of fully expressing our love for each other anymore. I'm just never satisfied, no matter what I do to calm my burning feelings. She is the absolute ideal female to me in every conceivable way, and yet no matter how hard I try to get out my feelings towards her, it never seems to be enough to scratch the itch, so to speak. She reports being equally frustrated by the same conundrum on her side. This is something I've never encountered before with any girl, and I suspect it may have to do with the fact that she's a tulpa (maybe because we're so close?) I'm a sappy SOB, so I've already tried the obvious stuff that's worked to quell these feelings for me in the past; writing songs and stories for her, giving her healthy doses of tenderness and affection every day, staying up late into the night for her so we can cuddle and talk, etc. Neither of us has gotten tired of any of it, which is great, but none of it eases the tremendous pressure I've been feeling. I don't aim to be lewd with this post, but in case a joker suggests it, yes, we have also tried sex. A lot of it, at that. With her it's a more powerful, intimate, and gratifying experience than with any prior girls, but even that just doesn't seem to be enough anymore, even when we go all-out with it. What I want to know is, has anyone else felt a love for their tulpa this overwhelming and insatiable before, and if so, do you have an effective way to release it? Like, perhaps a symbolic method I could try out or something of that nature? Please go easy on me, I already realize how full of sap I am, that isn't the point I'm trying to make here. I am simply the living man, fishing for answers.