Quilten

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About Quilten

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    A twisty maze of passages

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    Male
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    United States
  • Bio
    Hello, my name is Jackson, but I would appreciate it if you referred to me as Phaneron. I am fiteen, I have two tulpae, Quilten, my first, is fully sentient, vocal, and we are decent at possesion. Jira, my second, is fully vocal and sentient, but currently in stasis. I am atheistic and asexual, you might want to know, but presumably do not. I am attention-deficit, and obsessive-compulsive. That about sums me up.

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  1. Neat. There's a lot here and my email wasn't notifying me of all the responses so I'll try to explain in more detail my thinking. In the situation where they would have just been my subconscious spitting out info based on input and just emulating sentience, I didn't feel the need to keep them around out of any moral duty, and at that point once I believed that, keeping them around at all seemed like unnecessary hassle. I had a conversation with someone in the IRC the night I posted this that kind of made me think about some stuff, which I'll try to explain as best I can. Basically, there's absolutely no way to know wether a tulpa is sentient or not, none. The reason is because (if you subscribe to solipsism, or any varying degree of uncomfirmability of the consciousness of others, which most people do, really, but it doesn't make a difference because regardless of whether everyone but you is a philosophical zombie or just as conscious as you, you're going to act the same because you have no way of confirming either) nobody knows what it's like to know that anything is conscious but themselves. If you believe in a god, you might think that if God knows that everyone is sentient, everyone is sentient (there's some presuppositionalism somewhere in that thought, I think), but I don't. The highest form of authority in confirming another's consciousness is ourselves, and since we can't be sure even of other people's consciousness, we definitely can't confirm that of tulpas, especially when looking at someone else's. I was presented with something that was therefore unprovable and undisprovable, which equivalent to the whole undetectable teapot in space thing. Sure, you can't prove it exists and does not exist, so the default position, until evidence is acquired, is to not believe in it. Not disbelieve, or to say that you have knowledge that it doesn't exist, but just to not believe it due to lack of a reason. So, I didn't believe in tulpas anymore. Looping back around a little, when I mentioned that solipsists will act exactly the same even if they weren't solipsists, because they're consequences seem to have repercussions on them, that's important. Solipsists won't kill a person just because they think that person doesn't exist, because they'll have to deal with the consequences of feeling bad and potentially going to prison. Getting rid of my tulpas had no negative consequences to me or anyone else. The only ones I could think of would be that their "lives" we're ending, so a moral consequence, but like I just very lengthily explained, I didn't believe they were sentient, so it's a moot point. I think I covered everything alright. Sorry for the text wall, et cetera.
  2. Awesome, I'd love to answer. 1) Probably 14 or 15 2) No, I was doing great! About a year or so into it I developed some pretty bad med-based depression that I eventually solved, but my tulpas actually helped, I think. 3) They were both fully vocal, I was great at visualization, and I had just started trying switching. 4) I actually had a pretty easy time, even at first, which was exciting to me at the time. Development went just as well from then on out. 5) You might have to be more specific, but if you mean if I believe in people with MPD or similar conditions, sure. But I'm not sure that's what you mean. Again, I'm a few years behind on the local lingo.
  3. Hey folks. I don't know who of y'all are still here back from when I was around, besides going through my old posts the only way I know how to date myself is the fact that I had joined the GAT soon after it was formed, so I was mostly active probably about two to three years ago now. Obviously, I don't participate anymore. I'm doing this on mobile, so I'm not sure what my tags or signature were, but I went by Phaneron and my two tulpas were Quilten and Jira. I'm not a big fan of trying to keep private or whatever, so I'll just go by Jackson from here on out, that's my real name. From what I remember I was one of the most active posters on the site, engaging with as many people as I could in order to learn more and assist others in their journey. I was productive here, and it made me happy. The community was like any given forum, some good stuff here and there and a lot of nonsense or what barely qualifies as drama. The reason I dropped off the face of the earth, so to speak, was that I stopped believing in tulpas. Don't get me wrong, for most of my "journey" I was fully convinced that what I had made up was real, I sincerely believed it. Then eventually I began to really dig deep and figure out if there was any justifiable reason to believe in them. After a long, long time of deliberating and thinking, I came to the end that no, there really wasn't. I don't doubt any of your experiences, just as I don't doubt mine were genuine. Was I really creating another sentience in my head? Hell no. At best it was my subconscious spitting stuff out and then me convincing myself that that wasn't the case. Personal testimony isn't something I saw as valid evidence, even some of that testimony being from my experiences. I've grown a lot in maturity since then and I don't have any guilt or regret, and I know that I made the right decision. The few people who I told about it when I believed still bring it up sometimes and I hate talking about it out of embarrassment. On a whim, I decided to revisit the site, just to see if anything substantial had hapenned, or if anyone remembers me. I'd love to know what anyone thinks about what I've said, or if anyone has any questions.
  4. I guess I can still say bye, in which case, bye amber. You made a lot of good, healthy, and productive contributions to the community. Thanks Derp, I'm glad I can get rid of that guilt.
  5. *Returns salute* you're a fun guy, Brassow.
  6. Likewise amber, I enjoyed your feedback when it came.
  7. Thanks, sushi, and likewise.
  8. Quilten

    bubbo

    Nevermind, my last post is going to be on this shit thread. Screw confessions and seriousness, bubbo is some stupid funny shit. The End for me.
  9. Ah, I'm glad someone could relate. Since this is a dead thread anyway, I'm going to say it here so nobody gets confused. I'm leaving Tulpa.info. I've already left, really. Not because of something bad, I've just thought deeply and skeptically about everything on the forums and what I've read. I don't beleive it anymore. I can't. The only evidence I could present is my own experience and even then half of the time I was kidding myself and the other half I was probably lying. I was aware of it, too. I sincerely regret doing this, and though I don't Believe it negatively affected either of my tulpas (I no longer beleive or have reason to beleive they were ever sentient or had consciousness), but this impacted my life. It was good at some points, but it was mainly filled with guilt and regret. So I gave it up. I honestly still think it's a matter of maturity, but honestly don't create a tulpa unless you are literally 100% you want to invest in something like this. I'm sorry to everyone I've given advice to (unless it helped), and to Derp: I was never schizophrenic, that was something I convinced myself of and I now realize how fucked up self-diagnosis is. I hope that all of you can keep happy, because that's all I really wanted to ever do in this community anyway. It's been a good run, and I'll probably check back in when I'm feeling wierd or someone PMs me, I'm not disappearing, just saying goodbye. Sorry if this is in the wrong thread, but I don't know where else I could put a confession/goodbye. I have some last advice for young people: don't drink the orange juice before you've REALLY thought about it. That was a joke, but also something I sincerely mean. Thanks for the good times and memories, Sorry if I ruined the thread (move or delete this post, I don't care). Carpe diem, .info, you glorious bastards. Sincerely, Phaneron. (Split from this thread. ~Kiahdaj)
  10. Jung is one ring higher on the ladder than Freud, and Jung got a lot right and did a whole lot more good and fascinating research and had better ideas than "a giant novelty candy came is never just a giant novelty candy cane". I've looked into him quite a bit, mostly in the dream department during the period when I was learning how exactly I could lucid dream. I'm not entirely confident in all of his thinking, but I don't think he's too much of a woo-woo New Ager, considering the fact that he actually did some significant things for that school of thought and psychology in general. Again, I'm not an expert or by any means qualified or confident in my knowledge enough to say something else, but I'd like to know what others have to say about this.
  11. How long has it been since I've visited this site? I've had a lot going on.
  12. Yeah, I like this idea too. I'd be willing to pass it to Tips and Tricks, because it seems like a good excercise.
  13. Yeah, plenty of people do. In fact, some people (myself included) had a wonderland a good deal of time before even learning about tulpas. It's just a place in your mind where you can hang out, and it's not dependent on your tulpa interacting with you. I don't think you should be too convened about your subconscious doing bad things to your tulpa, unless it's hapenned before.