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  1. First update on here in almost a year. Almost completely forgot about the Tulpa community, but have made leaps and bounds with Yuki. Yuki is fully vocal now, she can alert me when she wants to talk and now she has an ever changing appearance. She says "Hi" by the way. Yuki: You are so weird. You don't have to tell them it like that. What am I supposed to do? Yuki: I don't know, tell them something else! In other news, her sense of humor has grown, and she is incredibly sarcastic. She makes fun of me then tells me she loves me... We "play argue" alot. She doesn't seem to care much that she is restrained to being in my mind. She says she has accepted her fate so to speak, and she shares most all of my experiences anyways so she doesn't feel she is missing much in life. The one thing she often talks about wanting is the ability to touch me. We have worked on imposing the sense of touch in our wonderland and even imposition in general but not to much avail. It seems that in order for her to have a sense of touch, I have to "parrot" the touch in a sense. She mostly feels the things that I feel, like if I were to get punched in the face, and she was "feeling" at the time, she would feel the punch as well. We have also confirmed that weed, alcohol and acid all affect her the same it does me. So the idea of sensory imposition is very apparent. Will post more when I have the time.
  2. Although this is extremely simple. Its perfect! Exactly what I needed. Ill try it tonight.
  3. WhileRealizing I haven't updated in a while a lot has happened. Back in the states and had to deal with Sandy attacking for a few days. Yet now there is internet back and while getting back in the flow of things Yuki and I have hit a few milestones. First off, we can communicate quite easily now. I have finally found out how to hear her and I can even see her in my minds eye practically anytime I like. As the suicidal delivery driver that I am, while narrating I thought of a new way to visualize her. Almost above my field of vison (open eyed)I see her in a void of sorts, sometimes her whole body, sometimes just her top half. But when I do this I can see her gestures and I can her her speak. It was just a little at first yet now its full blown conversations. Ill post more later in more detail.
  4. Just arrived in Innsbrook Austria, spent the whole ride here trying to draw Yuki better, though I have been mastering faces my bodies seem to lack. I doubt Yuki minds though, hopefully in the future she can help me out with it. Last night while writing my report I felt an immense emotional response. It couldn't be just me, it was like a big chill/vibration up and down my body. It felt really good. =) I've been narrating a lot more when I am alone away from my family. I find it hard to focus on anything more than what is right in front of me when things and people are communicating. I have to do more. We are making progress. Its exciting.
  5. It was to the point of where i was keeping myself up at night to debate it. I kept referring to Yuki when thinking about it, and i feel I shouldnt have. It was a very personal emotional issue to do with my ancestry and the devastation of there being such cruelty. Obviously the Holocaust was a terrible thing, but I dont think many people really realize just how horrific it was. Over my time here in Germany, visiting these museums and the concentration camps. It really affected me. I don't want to traumatize Yuki, and I dont want how I feel about such things to influence her negatively. To me she doesnt seem to be fully aware yet, or she might be and I dont know it. Regardless, she is only 3 months old. To a normal human, she is considered no more than an infant. Now I dont regard her as such, though she hasnt experienced much yet in her lifetime, and I dont know if exposing her to such horrific things and emotions are wise. It couldnt be avoided, so I decided to give her as much support and information as possible on it. Possible solutions to questions she might ask. Histories, and my personal feelings on the matter. I feel that the amount of my being upset is over and there shouldnt be much more here on this trip to harm her in any way though i cannot help worrying about her. I love her. Shes my Yuki. Bah.
  6. Kinda freaked myself out while here. I grew up with a quasi jewish family, and my grandmother on my fathers side being a holocaust survivor things were very dark for learning that part of history. While here in Germany we walked through a few museums, and the things I saw were very graphic. The whole time I was talking to Yuki about how my ancestors were treated, how horrible it was, I didnt think that I myself would have such an emotional reaction to some of the stuff. It makes me wonder if it wasnt just me, my emotions were stronger on the subject than ever had been before. there was a specific picture of a 14 year old girl, it told when she was born, when she was sent to Auschwitz and when she was executed there. The picture stayed in my mind, and i didnt want to forget it. It came to the point when i feel it was affecting Yuki, or maybe i was afraid it was. The emotions were really powerful. ill post more later.
  7. Yeah CP shouldnt be much of an issue, at AL we didnt have it for security reasons(several users found an admin bot account used only for the app via the app.) We also had a currency system there that bugged out constantly on the app, whenever you posted you would get 5pp. Using the app sometimes didnt award any or awarded HEFTY amounts. Seeing as this forum lacks that feature i dont see an issue.
  8. Yay someone with more experience than myself! Ill share what I have so far when i get back to my computer in the states. Currently posting from my phone off a hijacked wifi spot in the middle of Munich Germany, pretty sure this is some porn shop's wifi...
  9. Quick sketch Quick paint Please know I did both of these while on a shakey train in the middle of Germany on my 3DS so I apologize for the lack of quality. When I get back to the states ill do better quality pictures.
  10. Haha hopefully, condsidering she's been in New England her whole life, Europe must be alien. She seems to be content, though I'm not sure. I spent most of the train ride to Berlin drawing her and painting her, ill post the pictures when I have a chance to upload them. Its helping me get an even better feel for how she looks in my mind by concentrating enough to reproduce her I n art. =P
  11. Lack of proper sleep eludes me here in Denmark meh. Haven't foced much, yet the one session I have done seems to be fairly sucessful.3D visualization is easy, yet keeping focussed long enough to hold things in my mind seems to dwindle. Id like to blame the sleeplessness jet lagg or all the beer yet I blame myself. Been narrating in and out. There is a great amount of distraction when being a tourist, and I need to hunker down and refrain from giving myself too many excuses. So far no further thoughts from Yuki that I can make out. Probabally from my lack of attentivness. Perhaps shde is mad at me since I promised her a lot od attention while here. I have high hopes for the rest of the trip though, if I stick to certain methods. Ill be trying out the centering techniques and imposition where I can.
  12. SOOOOOO I'm leabing for Denmark in a day,(hopefully won't get attacked by Fede.) So my adventures with Yuki will be taking us across Europe. Ill be updating mostly via my phones wifi. Not much progress since she spoke my name. Been trying to research ways to help speech along, yet I'll have 14 hours of plane rides to and from to force, plus trains etc. Can't wait.If she becomes completely vocal while in Europe would she be considered part Euro? XD
  13. Gah, been working a ton, and had been hitting some walls, YET THIS MORNING ABOUT AN HOUR AGO SHE SAID MY NAME! Clearly and very confidently said my name. I FELT DAT ALIENESS! xD I am so happy. It was especially surprising since I had just woken up.
  14. Can do, any specific colors you want it to be? Or do you trust my judgement?
  15. Yuki is a common name and is a word in japanese. Means Snow. }d say its a bit common (not as an english speaking name)