synsta and Rylai

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About synsta and Rylai

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  1. This thread will be dedicated to my every day progress report. I have had insane procrastination issues, as well as massive doubt when it has come to visualizing, or any sort of active forcing. What brought me to this was this: When I saw my steam profile, I was furious and sad at the same time. All that time I could have dedicated to any sort of forcing, yet I chose to mess around on games when I could have easily visualized amazingly by now. That all has ended today. I have uninstalled any and every thing relating to games on my computer, changed my steam password to something dumb and random so I'll have to contact support about it. I have also thrown out all recreational drugs, and will stop all of them besides caffeine. I'm pretty sure they hindered any progress. I may do some psychedelics on the side, but for purely forcing reasons. My goal here was to stop creating excuses, stop bumbling around and getting discouraged by progress, although I've done it in a bit of extreme measure. The plan: I work 4-6 hours a day, half the time I am able to listen to music, and I'll be listening to e-books as much as I can, as well as passively imposing/forcing. When I come home I'll have about ~10 hours to do various forcing, I plan to dedicate nearly all the free time I have, until I can visualize well enough for imposition. Things I will be doing: I have a tablet/drawing materials that will be used daily, I will be buying a collection of books to read, meditation, and various other visualization little things. On top of all this I will be lucid dreaming, performing reality checks throughout the day. I also plan on daily walks, at least until summer starts and it's going to be hot out. I will be updating daily, with timings and progress. I will be making the next post as I will be starting soon for ~2 hours. It absolutely tears at me that I can't see or spend time with my tulpa, she's never greifed me for not forcing, and this is all of my own doing. I made a commitment to her, I promised I would finish her so we could live the rest of our lives happily "married" This will be an interesting undertaking for me, I've always been a gamer and didn't care for reading/drawing/meditation, but it's time things changed.
  2. This is seriously spot on, and couldn't have worded it better myself. I have looked at all the guides, even some off site ones like the self help books that have you visualize. I can safely say, after about 8 days of trying various things, nothing has seemed to work. I'm not giving up by any means, but everything I've read pretty much has you able to see something, be it basic pictures or whatever. Drawing is something I will look into though.
  3. I've been working on my tulpa since May of last year, had incredible visualization skills when I started. I lost them a few months in for no idea why, but we've worked on independence and possessing in the meantime. As of now she's almost able to fully possess me without much effort, but my visualizations skills are literally virtually nothing now. Her form is nowhere near done yet, with no progress in ~4 months. We both want to switch, and are willing to work at it very hard, but the guides and such ask for a wonderland to place your body into, but I can't visualize at it all sadly. My questions are: Do I need to visualize my wonderland or anything else that might be required for switching? If I do switch, where does my consciousness go, do I just black out or whatever? She's not imposed, or even close to being ready.
  4. Seriously, thank you so goddamn much for this. I had such an amazing night last night. I had 2 lucid dreams and 2 where I was aware, but not really in control. I have only been researching this for less than a week now, and it seems insanely bizarre I was able to do this this early. The things that helped me the most were: Vitamin B6 and spinning. I've been taking the vitamin supplements for a week now and had a dramatic increase in dreams, up to this point where I had 5 dreams (including the 2 lucid and 2 aware) that I remembered in one night! The spinning though, helped me maintain it. I don't know why, but I almost lost control a few times, and spinning put me right back into it. I don't mean to brag, but this seemed really easy. I was bad about reality checks during the week, and I just kinda "realized" I was dreaming and went in control from there. Thank you again so much, and my tulpa thanks you too!
  5. I don't know if this is too personal of a question but: do you normally cry, where other men your age wouldn't? I used to have some serious depression, and she'd send me some strong emotions, and would result in crying.g
  6. I took around 300mg~ last night and had some hallucinations, but everyone experiences them at that doseage. I don't know if it was my tulpa or not though, and even she doesn't know o.o
  7. We're doing this and are able to totally overlap my real vision but, do I try to make my tupper appear in the blurred out vision, or imagine with my mind?
  8. We think we might have figured it out, its a thing where I realize I'm daydreaming/visualizing then I freak out and snap back to reality. I can remain calm when I'm letting my mind wander, but It's a thing we guess It's the thing like "you are manually blinking" that really throws me off. Especially when I try to visualize my tulpa things get really iffy. I also have ADHD and makes it hard to not have some intrusive thoughts about this, and It's just kind of an endless thing. Could really use some advice on it.
  9. I've been working hard at this for 2 1/2 months or so now, at least 30 minutes a day and have had zero progress with anything. Before my eyes started wigging out unintentionally I could visualize/daydream/hypnogagic visualize just fine. I'm very certain this is all just a physical problem, I do have ADHD and causes some odd thought patterns in me. I just tried to do nothing but daydream for 40 minutes, but sat there the entire time inadvertently snapping my eyes back into real life anytime I caught a glimpse of anything. I think I guess I might be trying too hard at something that should just come naturally and it really makes me angry.
  10. I used to be able to enter a dream-like state pretty easily, I made a topic about losing this ability a few months ago. I haven't been able to enter it for a few months now, due to my eyes snapping back to reality anytime I catch even the slightest glimpse of anything. The issue still hexes me to this day :@ I've cut out any caffeine, tried forcing my eyes to stay still but I literally am unable to get them to not move anytime I visualize something. I've tried the "just relax and let it come naturally" but it still just doesn't work. I used to also get hypnagogic visions, but those went away with all this eye trickery. This is both with open-eyed and closed, and even while practicing daydreaming at work and on breaks, I just can't seem to stay in any state of being zoned out. I'm really at a loss here, but have made progress on other areas, but I would like to work on imposition, but it isn't going to happen till I figure out a way to fix whatever is wrong with me. This has me insanely sad and frustrated to not be able to visualize my tulpa for 2-3 months now. I'd even be open to trying some drugs to fix this, OTC or otherwise.
  11. The thing that got me with Cool Timer is I was careful pressing next and didn't install the optional toolbar, but still decided to give me other unwanted software.
  12. Neato guide, will defiantly use it~ One thing though, the timer program came with this lovely adware http://www.microsoft.com/security/portal/threat/encyclopedia/entry.aspx?name=Adware%3aWin32%2fWebCake&threatid=198788 Doesn't seem anything major, but might wanna do something about the link~ <- I lied I guess, seems to be really fucking annoying adware, I didn't get it personally but googling seems to bring up some annoying results http://botcrawl.com/how-to-remove-webcake-malware/ EDIT: welp please remove the link from your guide, shit has bugs yo http://download.cnet.com/Cool-Timer/3000-2350_4-10062255.html#rateit I lied on the I didn't get any part apparently, I think I need to reformat now :<
  13. The eye movement is happening when I'm fully awake. EDIT: I managed to calm my eyes the fuck down with adderal (?), but I'm still having issues visualizing anything beyond simple stuff
  14. I'm certain it's my eyes. It goes something like: see image briefly -> eye moves -> lose image I went back to visualizing today for about 3 hours and made almost no progress.