lapisxilazuli

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About lapisxilazuli

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  1. This has been a very long time ago. I'm 17 now, and I quit forcing a while back, but I feel like I'm at a stage in my life where I would like to start back up with Kellen. Reading all this stuff has really made me miss him. My personality is completely different now and I'm sure he will change A LOT.
  2. I'm in marching band and Kellen really wants to try it and help but he can't play an instrument. My question is, is there a possibility for him to only possess the bottom half of my body so he can do the marching while I play?
  3. It's really difficult, but I'll get through it eventually. I guess I just need to keep faith in him.
  4. Kellen and I are having some independence problems, I really hope they'll be resolved soon though...
  5. I think It's more independence, like he won't do anything unless I'm paying a decent amount of attention to him.
  6. I find myself having trouble with Kellen and sentience. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I really don't know what to do. I'm making no progress with Kellen, he's only slightly sentient and not speaking very well.
  7. Is it safe for my tulpa and I, during a forcing session, to go to real places and interact with real people like celebrities. I don't want anymore tulpas at least not now, so is it okay for me to do this?
  8. Kellen is an extremely tidy person and willing to do anything to keep things clean. I've never really been like that, if my surroundings were dirty, they were dirty and that was fine because I'm a bit lazy. But lately I've noticed that I've had the urge to clean and to keep things clean, no matter what I had to do. So my question is: Did your tulpas influence your personality in large noticeable ways even before vocality?
  9. If I were to want to do both, which one should I start with? Or should I start them at the same time and then practice them independently?
  10. I've read that possesion is easier than imposition, but I'm not sure what stage you should start trying possesion or imposition. Or which one seems to be better, pros and cons?
  11. Last night I asked Kellen to wake me up at 12 Am, because I wanted to take a nap but it wouldn't be a really big deal if I didn't get woken up. I was woken up slightly and then all together, as if I was being woken by a person. I just know it was Kellen. I checked the time, 12:18 am, pretty close. I'm going to try this more often now, different times though to make sure that I don't get conditioned to wake up at a certain time and go back to sleep. It was fairly easy to get back to sleep so I did.
  12. Kellen and I made a great advancement last night. I knew he was sentient but I really want ed to completely prove it to myself, so I tried the prism/feather technique. Kellen seemed a bit aggravated at me wanting to try it, because he didn't want to keep the prism on his head. We eventually got to the point where I was able to Oscillate the feather and he stopped it. It was really strange to finally prove to myself that he was sentient and recognize in my mind that he is 100% himself and really does do things on his own. He was rather annoyed that I wanted proof but he's over it all ready.
  13. When I force, I've noticed that I awkwardly switch points of view depending on what activity Kellen and I are doing. Like, if I'm just visualizing him in general it'll be first person, but if I want to do something like waltz (he's big on dancing), I randomly switch to third person. Is this normal and is there anything I can do about it?
  14. Ah, thank you! This is very helpful and I think it'll help me stop worrying so much from now on.