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Everything posted by Zero

  1. You expect something to happen, and it happens. It's not subconscious, it's entirely conscious, except automatic. If it would be something like "My brain is giving me replies that don't come from me", then that would be your tulpa. Understand that there is no such thing as subconscious parroting, but there IS parroting from expectations, and it does make sense that your disorder makes that more prevalent (and that others with the same disorder don't have it at all) because some people with asperger's like to predict what's going to happen so they don't have to deal with as many unexpected situations and have an easier life, while others just like living in their own small little world and don't concern themselves too much with what happens outside of that. This would mean that they probably parrot from expectations too, but don't notice it. Keep in mind that no tulpa is suffering from this, they're probably annoyed at best. All you're doing is expecting them to say something - there's nothing wrong with that at all, you do that with other people too, why not with your tulpa? Just make sure that when you're not sure what was them, you ask them. Not that hard. In your case, if you really have trouble making out what's your tulpa and what's you, I'd suggest focusing all of your effort on learning audio imposition. Hearing a voice that sounds physical will probably help you get rid of that little problem, and on top of that it'll probably make presence and smell imposition a lot easier. >inb4 "B-but that costs effort..."
  2. Post #8: After playing a significant amount of Touhou recently, I started getting a Tetris Effect-like thing where, whenever I closed my eyes, I'd see endless Touhou bullet patterns being shot and falling down like they would in the game. So I started doing this thing where I imagine a character amidst the bullets and try dodging them by controlling that character. This has been becoming easier and easier, I just close my eyes and dodge Touhou bullets in my mind. The bullets are (slowly) becoming more clear to me every time I look at them, as well as the character. I think I'll keep doing this as a visualization exercise, it's not only fun but it's already improved my visualization quite a bit by doing this. I think I'll first work on clearly seeing the bullets and character, and then try to add a moving background, and maybe some enemies, but that's still too far off in the future. Perhaps I'll be good enough at visualization by then that I'll be practicing other things. Did 2 hours of visualization today, both active forcing and practicing visualization without my tulpas' involvement. Total time spent: 26 hours Personality: 15 hours Visualization: 6 hours Narration: 5 hours
  3. Post #7: It's been nearly three weeks since I last posted, but not many developments have been made. I've been forcing less, probably because I have more trouble holding a conversation with her than I had just talking at her form, but I'm going to pick this up again. So far she's shown to be sentient in quite a few ways, she's quite different from me, has made one or two headaches more bearable and her opinions and viewpoints vary surprisingly much from my own. She's a bit overly sexual, but mostly jokingly, and it's not all that annoying. I'm surprised with the amount of traits that actually got through to her. She didn't turn out quite as I expected she would, but when I reviewed the traits after her being vocal for a while, it was surprisingly accurate. She's been saying she wants to learn how to possess, but between spending time with her and my other two tulpas, as well as focusing on imposition, I'm not sure how much progress can be made in that department. I want to develop her further first, so I'm sure she's independent enough for possession to work well. After some talking with her I realized that simply focusing on the traits and how they work for her, as well as writing down what the traits meant and how they apply to her had a significant effect on her, so including all the time I spent working on the traits and other things that didn't involve sitting down and talking to her, but still involved developing her, I came to a total of 24 hours of work. It seems you can active force in more ways than by sitting down and closing your eyes while talking to them. This made it somewhat easier to accept that she was vocal within 3 weeks. I'm gonna keep working on imposition, and see where that gets us. My visualization is still shit, but I hope to have all of them imposed by the end of the year. Total time spent: 24 hours Personality: 15 hours Visualization: 4 hours Narration: 5 hours I didn't include the time spent after she became vocal because I didn't measure it. I'll do so from now on.
  4. Ok so you guys are basically arguing about the OP posting things that are wrong according to the general beliefs of the community. ShyMagi, really, if you wanna tell everybody that whatever they say and think is true, then go ahead, but don't expect anyone to learn anything. The worst kind of teacher is the teacher that feels sorry for his student's incompetence. Taking incompetence into account is not the same as condoning it. As for the reasons why I didn't explain every single point I made - it's like waffles said. If he took the time to actually read around on the forums, read guides, and perhaps ask questions on the forums or on the IRC, he would've known those things. I'm not going to spoonfeed every newcomer who happens to get the most basic things wrong. He can learn for himself. He's capable enough of browsing the internet and finding these forums on his own, and make a post on top of that which means he's also capable enough of reading what is actually IN the forums in an attempt to understand what this community believes tulpas are. On top of that, saying that "Not all beliefs are the same" doesn't mean that you don't have to adhere to the basic idea of something. A tulpa is not a teapot, and even if you want it to be, that doesn't make it so. Thus, if he says something that is incorrect, I will correct him, but spoonfeeding him my beliefs would be just as wrong as allowing him to believe whatever bogus theory he wants to believe in. There are plenty of ideas and theories about tulpas and I don't think he should hear mine only. So, ShyMagi, if you feel upset that I did things the way I did, that's cool. Deal with it. When this post was originally made it wasn't located in the metaphysics board, so I simply went the scientific route. As waffles said, if he uses words wrongly, he should be corrected (or ~punished~ if you'd like to dramatize it for your convenience) so he doesn't do it again. If you stab yourself in the hand, you will feel pain - the pain is a punishment to show you that you shouldn't do it again because it is a bad idea. Not punishing people for doing things wrong is a TERRIBLE mindset, and if that is your mindset, then god bless whoever has to learn something from you. Also, Either because you're stubborn or because you have factual evidence or a significant form of logic to back your beliefs.
  5. And with your entrance here is some complementary feedback: - Tulpas are not a second consciousness within your own. - They can't control you - Your wonderland is not another dimension - You can not switch dimensions - You should probably use less drugs Enjoy your stay and tulpa and please be less gullible.
  6. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFF Nah Thunder you're just slowly realizing that you're trans. Seriously though, I have the same thing. Also with the adopting personality traits thing, after making Pan I became significantly more social and laid back than I used to be, and sometimes I nearly slap a "You know?" at the ends of my sentences, along with some other mannerisms I can't think of atm, for seemingly no reason. I'd agree this is a thing that happens, and I've seen it happen in reverse as well. Ea has adopted several mannerisms of mine which she didn't have at first. I think this is just normal - in any relationship with someone close to you (friend/partner/family) you eventually start copying each other. Nothing really weird about that, as long as it's not taken too far. Another thing I've noticed is that after reading a vn, Pandora started sometimes using a line one of the characters used pretty often. I'd guess this can just be filed under "psychological influence", but giving it a name is pretty useful. GAT Approved move to Guides pls
  8. Post #6: So. I've been narrating on and off to her the past few days whenever i could, and trying to force more traits into her. I was already getting responses to some stuff, but I just ignored those and pressed on. Today, though, she didn't allow me to force. Every trait I did she would say "yeah yeah i know let's go on a piggy back ride" or something equally random. I tried telling her to stop, to calm down, to just let me narrate in peace, i tried to refocus, over and over, and she simply would not let me force the traits into her, saying that I already did. I mentioned her being this energetic wasn't in the traits list, and she actually pointed out that it was, I reviewed the list and saw that it, in fact, was, but I had forgotten about it. Not sure what to do right now. On one hand, I want to accept her and start having conversations with her. On the other hand, this is faster than I expected, though it did still take nearly a month, which is the longest amount of time I've spent on creation so far. She's talking so much that I can not force through one-sided narration anymore. When I focus on her form she just starts doing random shit. I wanted to simply assume this is just me fucking with myself, but no matter how hard I try, I can not focus on forcing her without hearing her anymore. So, I guess it's safe to say she is sentient, and vocal. Not too pleased with how fast this went, but I won't take it for granted. I'll keep posting with further developments.
  9. oh my god you fuckers are still at this stop being a butthurt anti-mod circlejerk, this is exactly why i wanted there to be more than 10 members in the GAT, so this bullshit would be called out on. GAT isn't the place for discussing your anti or pro-mod shit but you should at least keep giraffe discussions out of this goddamn thread unless it relates to how you're behaving as a GAT. this goes for Chupi, Sands, and whoever the fuck else is discussing goddamn giraffe nicks. yes, you should behave professionally, but nobody is on the rizon tulpa channels anymore anyway, so it's not a big deal. and for the other side, you should stop going along with that muh irc mischief shit because it's literally toddler mentality. you'll look like an 8 year old with a proper vocabulary if you do that shit. pull your heads out of your asses and start focusing on actual problems rather than creating problems and then going "whaaat i didn't do nothing!!!" like a 5 year old who thinks nobody's seeing that he's playing dumb.
  10. oh man are you people whining about irc shit in a complaints thread for forum shit? seriously?
  11. i talked to his tulpa today, they're not gone at all
  12. Post #5: Did two traits yesterday, Adaptable and Emotional, spent about 30 minutes on them, then talked to her for another 15 minutes before I fell asleep. Got some mild head pressures, but that's about it. Gonna do some more narration and visualization today. Total time spent: 6.5 hours Personality: 5.5 hours Visualization: 1 hour
  13. Wow gee I wonder where you got the idea for Rain's name (that used to be Chrysalis and then Chrysie because you're so creative) Stop bugging other people's progress and start making some of your own, Moon. Seriously. And Splooshie, congrats on the name change. Maybe seeing her as more than just "Latias" might actually help her develop.
  14. Post #4: Welp. I didn't exactly follow that plan, however, I haven't been entirely inactive either. I spent lots of time working on her traits list and defining each trait, which I was planning on using to narrate to her during forcing sessions. Those forcing sessions never came, however, what I did do was - with every trait, I would look up it's definition in the dictionary to get a better understanding of it, think about how it would apply to her, think about situations in which she'd exhibit that trait, and write down a small definition of my own after imagining how i would be explaining it to her. I didn't really count that as forcing, but after talking to Cross for a bit, he told me that imagining myself explaining a trait to my tulpa is a form of personality forcing. Now it's not actively sitting down and focusing only on Pandora, however I did spend several hours working on that traits list - and, all the while, thinking of her, and how each trait applies to her, etc. I'm far from done, but I'm glad I can say that I haven't been entirely wasting my time. Today I got my first response from her. It's early, so I'm still not sure it was really her, however, shortly after forcing her, I was nearly falling asleep when out of the blue, I got these strange waves of emotion that seemed quite out of place. There were three, like "pulses" (don't know of a better way to describe it) and my forehead started tingling like mad. After that I couldn't sleep anymore, and I'm still not sure what to think about it, but I'm gonna see this as a form of progress, and it does motivate me to force more and continue working on that list. I'm going to keep a total hour count in here, but since I haven't been keeping count from the start, it'll be some slight guesswork. I did at least 5-6 hours on that traits list, and about 2-3 hours total of active forcing, so to stay realistic, i'll set the counter to a 6 hour forcing total for now. Traits list currently looks like this. I've finished 10 groups, which is 30 traits, and over half the traits in the list. I removed two of them because they didn't fit in with the rest at all (Pretentious and Dignified, iirc), which leaves me with a total of 54 traits. I know, it's a little much, but I put a lot of work into picking those and they all overlap with each other perfectly fine. The only other thing to note is that I got a brief, clear flash of her face and hair, which helped me visualize her form much better. The face I saw fit the traits list I was making much better than the one I was previously trying to see. Her hair is also sleeker and bright blue, so it's easy to differentiate between her and Ea's hairdos (since they were pretty similar before). I tried FAQ_Man's naked visualization thing but that didn't work very well, though it did lead to the brief face flash. I'm also not doing Eye-Bo anymore. Last time I did it I got dizzy and nauseous, and I don't really think it can help me visualize any better. I'll still try some theta binaurals though, perhaps while meditating, to see if those might help. Bright flashes in my face are fucked up. Total time spent: 6 hours Personality: 5 hours Visualization: 1 hour
  15. Yes this is why I am referring to the future and not the past.
  16. Post #3: I lost track for a few days. Did some thinking, rethinking and more thinking. Since I want to do this on a consistent basis, I'm going to start doing the previous traits again, and spend more time working on them this time. My opinions on my other tulpas changed as well. I'm highly convinced they're alter egos now, but I will give them the benefit of the doubt until I've finished Pandora. Still not sure what to do about them once that happens, but that's something in the future, which I will solve when the time comes. I'm going to start now, i'll narrate for about an hour and then try visualizing her until I fall asleep. These are the traits I'm going to narrate today: Adaptable - Emotional - Mischievous Amoral - Progressive - Adventurous Balanced - Noncompetitive - Fanciful Flamboyant - Tasteful - Charming 12 traits in total, I'll do a short definition of them today (about 5 minutes per trait) and then do a full definition of them tomorrow. About the trait groups, that's something I decided to do to make forcing a bit easier for me. I picked groups of three traits - each out of one of the categories (positive, neutral, negative) that I had placed them in that are relevant enough to each other for me to be able to narrate all three of them in a row without drifting off from the narration (when i drastically change topics anywhere without a short break in between them i tend to lose focus and forget about what I was doing) and having a good timer for my breaks (with a full definition session, 3 traits should take 45-60 minutes, after which i'd take a break, either small or big depending on what I have to do during the day). Right now I'm not going to do full definitions because I'm way too tired to focus on one trait for that long. For whoever's interested, here's a pastebin with a WIP version of the definitions of the traits I'm going to use and their respective groups: . You might notice that I include relevant characteristics from other traits in the definitions, there are also some characteristics of traits I haven't defined yet (such as whimsical), so I'm really hoping this will give her a coherent framework to build her personality off of. After narration, I'm going to visualize until I fall asleep, since that's when I can visualize best. Will update tomorrow with more stuff, and I'm hoping to get 4-5 hours of forcing done that day, I plan on spreading 1.5 hour sessions out throughout the day, so they won't be enough to get me too tired to force but will add to progress. I don't plan on getting this done quick, but I do believe that more forcing is always better. Not sure how I'll passive force her yet, though I suppose I could always simply try thinking of her throughout the day. That's it for today, hope I'll actually stick to my plan tomorrow.
  17. Yep this was my mistake, I should've done that instead. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake in the future. Also, thanks Linkzelda & Methos.
  18. The first thing, I totally agree with. The conspiracy thing is partially true, as in, people shouldn't have voted for me just because I made this thing, but I'm not doing this on purpose. I've been having some issues recently IRL, both tulpa related and non-tulpa related, and though I did have the time to go over the guides and do them, they weren't really a priority to me. I wanted to deal with those issues first, and then get fully into GAT after that, but it's taking a lot longer than I expected, hence my inactivity. It's not really that I don't want to be an active part of the GAT, since if it wasn't for me shoving pastebins and vote page links into everyone's faces all the time this thing wouldn't have even been here, however things just didn't work out as I planned they would. So, if you guys think that means I can't be a GAT, I'm fine with that, however if I do get the option, I'd like to request to be only temporarily removed until I get this shit sorted, so I can be able to contribute to the GAT in the future. I'll leave the decision of permanent or temporary removal up to the team, though, so if you're going to vote yes (and for the love of god please don't vote no, that'd only be taking up space) also add whether you want me temporarily or permanently removed. Or the Managers decide that it's not an option to be temporarily removed (though I believe it's in the pastebin), but either way I'm leaving that up to you guys.
  19. Post #2: Today's forcing session was alright. I was a bit irritated at some stuff, but half an hour of Eye-Bo eased that down, and put me in more of a mood for narration. I didn't talk to her or try visualizing her throughout the day, but I still got about an hour/hour and a half of forcing in today. I narrated three new traits to her (Adventurous, progressive, amoral) and did some random talking, and made somewhat of a promise that I would be trying to talk to her more throughout the day tomorrow. I got a faint response after saying night (I heard a very faint "night") but I ignored that, since I had just re-mentioned to her that if she'd like to talk, until I'm certain that I've put in enough work for her to be legit, she should talk to my other tulpas. And if they happen not to be tulpas, I told her to try her best to convince me she's there. Might be a little harsh, but I think this is the only way I can be sure, and it's only temporary anyway. Visualization is still shit, though I got some mild visuals earlier today while hanging with Hatsune. I took my melatonin (sleeping pill of a substance that's made in your brain, that makes you tired and want to sleep) before Eye-Bo, hoping it would give more visual results, but it had no effect save for making the session very tiring. I'll be looking for more ways to visualize better, it seems I can visualize but don't quite know how to "zone out" to trigger it. For now, I'm only able to visualize when I'm not thinking, and not aware of the fact that I'm visualizing, which is very rare and often only happens for a few seconds. I don't know how to extend this period, since if I try to consciously keep the visualization going it disappears, and if I zone out too much I fall asleep. Needs more balance.
  20. - regards, the most elitist tulpamancer in the community