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About Coastie

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  1. Hello all. Bit of an issue here. For the past few weeks, I've been trying to spend time with my tulpa, but it's not really working out. Previously, I've tried to do things, anything, with her in my wonderland, but I felt as if I was making her do things, or making things happen and giving her the credit even when I did it. I tried to think that events such as her changing clothes and whatnot was random, not me, but... I haven't forced in a while. I've tried narrating and the like, but I find it very difficult to keep talking to something that either can't talk back, or is just not able to be heard. With all that piling up, I've grown quite discouraged. I have not forgot about her. I still remember all of her bits and pieces, I just told her to stay in the wonderland for a while. And now, I really don't know where to go from here. I know vocality and the like can take quite a while to develop, and I get that. I've lost my headaches/head pressures and there's been nothing since. Not sure what to do now. Thoughts?
  2. Hey guys, just a quick question for you. What do you with your tulpas when you spend time with them in your wonderland, if you have one? I'm not at the point where we can have conversation yet, nor imposition. That's why I'm asking about wonderland activities. I know you can do "anything", but I'm asking about what you guys do. Frankly, I'm not the coolest, social butterfly out there. I've been a bit short on time lately, so I promised my tulpa that we would spend a few hours together tonight. So, any suggestions? Thanks.
  3. Morning, everyone. Just had a quick question for you all. I'm kind of hitting a roadblock here. I don't know what to do next, in the process. In the beginning, I worked on my tulpa's personality, and then I moved on to appearance, smell, texture, which I all have down. Thing is, I don't really know what to do next. The past two nights of forcing seemed really bland as I didn't know what I should be doing. I keep going over everything (personality, appearance, etc.) at least once per session. Other than that, I've just been narrating to her, in and out of sessions. I don't get any discernible response, but I know that that can take a long time, so I parrot to fill in for my tulpa. That's about it. I'm not really sure what my next step is. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.
  4. Evening, everyone. I've just been pretty confused as of late and I need some advice. What do I do? Recently, I've been looking at guides, and just posts in general. However, there seems to be lots of contradicting information floating around. It's leaving a newbie like me quite flustered and a little afraid. I see things from "You HAVE to work on personality until you can confirm sentience." to "You don't have to work on personality at all, if you want your tulpa to have that freedom.". Just some examples. I don't know who's wrong, right, or indifferent. I can't discern any communication from my tulpa yet. I've been narrating, and I might be getting responses, or I might be parroting. There's no way for me to know at this point. I'm working on form, viualization, and smell at this point, and lots of guides contradict each other, as I said before. Lots of people say it's different for everyone, and I get that. But if it's different from everyone, how can I know what's right or wrong for Lilith (my tulpa)? Overall, I am clearly not in the right direction. All of the contradicting information out there has me afraid for Lilith, and I just want the best for her. I don't want to screw something up and have to put an intelligent entity out of her very brief misery because I did something wrong. I want her to be happy with herself, and content with who she is. I'm assuming she's sentient now, but I have no proof. I'm scared, conflicted and confused, but not discouraged. I will continue to work on Lilith. I appreciate any answers/replies. Thanks for your time.
  5. Ah. I was familiar with the fact that it was a name for a demon queen or something... But I just like it, I suppose. I'm not too up to date on religious mythos and whatnot aha.
  6. Yes, I'm committed aha. Which legend is that?
  7. I figured this would be a good way to track my progress, and for you all to see it, if you are so interested. Without further ado, we begin. I came across the topic of tulpas about a year ago. I had forgotten about it til recently, when I made the decision to create a tulpa. It's been 9 or 10 days since then, and I'm very excited. The first day, I worked on her personality. I wanted her to be happy, cheerful, tolerant of others, that sort of thing. I won't go too into detail about it, but in the end, I refined it a little bit, and I told her (yes, I was trying to narrate to her on the first day) that she could have whatever personality she desired. I worked on it with passive forcing for about 2-2 1/2 hours, then went to bed with a headache, which I read was normal. Before I fell asleep however, I had a strange sensation, like I was under hypnosis (I have tried hypnosis before, same feeling.) and it kind of rolled over me. It lasted for a few seconds, then went away. After 2 more days of working on her personality, I discovered I had a bit of pressure in my head whenever I concentrate on her. This head pressure has remained. The last couple of days have been spent working on her appearance. I imagined her with bright orange hair, golden eyes, a small, slender frame (5' 6'' max), no body hair, flat chest and butt, and wide hips. I really wanted to get the nude visualization down, not because I'm a pervert or anything, but I read it was good practice. I haven't really been visualizing clothes for her... I probably should, eh? Or can she make clothes on her own? I assumed she could. Last night, I was lying in bed trying to think of a name for her, and I was going through names in my head at random. None of them sounded right. And then I thought "Lilith". I don't know how to explain it, but it just felt right, you know? So that's what I named her. Anyway, yesterday and today have been different. The pressure I get in my head when I concentrate on her has increased to damn-near painful levels. I'm not sure what this means. It makes it difficult to concentrate for any length of itme. I haven't been able to communicate with her yet... A little discouraging, but I would never give up on Lilith. I do not get random waves of emotion, nor words in my head. I try to ask her questions and talk to her in my head, but I'm not getting any discernible answers. I know how I'd like her to look, thanks to my time spent visualizing, and I've done a little practice with different poses... But I'm not able to see her yet. Neither in the physical world, which I know takes time, nor my minds eye. I can imagine her form, yes, but it's static, like a picture. I haven't been able to see her as a living, moving entity yet, or have a conversation :/ Anyway, that's everything I think, up to tonight. Tomorrow I'll work on texture and how she feels. That's it for now. Hope you enjoyed. 7/23 Quite a stressful day. Mainly narrated throughout the day, asking questions and just general talking. At the end of the day, before I went to sleep, I worked on her texture. Will work more on texture tomorrow.
  8. I hope so aha. It's all a bunch of new things for me.
  9. I don't see it as a bad thing. I see it as a sign that my tulpa is there, if that makes any sense aha. I'm new to this whole experience and I get a bit excited when new things happen.
  10. I assume that you differentiate between you and your tulpa with brackets? :) Aha, anyway, I enjoy the headpressure and whatnot. I know it may sound strange, but it tells me I'm doing something right lol.
  11. I don't know about you, but ever since the head pressure started, my head literally FEELS heavier. It's a bit strange aha.
  12. I haven't reached the auditory level yet. I try to ask her ( still haven't given her a name yet ) questions, and sometimes the pressure in my head will decrease/increase, but I can't be for certain if it's her communication or just my imagination. I'd rather not get ahead of myself. A few guides I've read say not to dismiss early success, but 8 or 9 days seems too early for anything to happen.
  13. Thanks for your reply. I wasn't lacking confidence in the first place, but this is a big confidence booster aha.
  14. Thanks. I was just curious I suppose. This is pretty new to me; I didn't want to get all giddy and be like "OMG itz a telpa 4 sure!"
  15. Hey everyone. I'm new here and I just needed a little bit of help from someone a bit more experienced. This might be a long post, just a warning. I first came across the subject of tulpas about a year ago. It seemed interesting, but I eventually forgot about it. It came up again a few months ago, and I started doing my research. I found that tulpas were a long-time commitment, and things to be cared for. This did not deter me, but I took a few weeks to think on it anyway. As you can probably guess, I decided to go through with it, and have been at it for about 8 days now. After a few conflicting guides and theories, I figured I'd ask you all about what's happening to me. The first day, I started with personality. All I wanted for (I decided on a female human appearance) her, was to be happy, cheerful, tolerant, those sort of things. Anything, I believe, can be for her to change. And I don't want her to form to what I want and not be able to change what she wants, so I try to tell her that. Anyway, after a solid 2-3 hours of passive forcing, I went to bed. I had a headache, but was told that these are normal when creating a tulpa. Allow me to deviate here, for a moment. A few months back, I had tried hypnosis. When I was hypnotized, I had a sort of floating sensation, along with the feeling of my hands and feet being disconnected; I couldn't feel my arms or legs. This does relate, just hang in there :P Anyway, as I was in bed, that same hypnotized feeling came over me, kind of like a wave. It started at one side of me, went to the other, then went away. I don't know why it happened. It has me curious though, if it has any connection. The second thing is this pressure inside my head. It happens when I focus on my tulpa, whether it's from talking to her, or working on her form. I'm not that far into the creation process, yet, I think. The pressure located... uh, in the lower half of my brain, I guess. That's the best way to describe it. And the force fluctuates from mild yet noticeable, to almost a headache. That's it for now. If you got all the way here, thanks for reading all of that. Thoughts?