Spellknite

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About Spellknite

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  1. Things have definitely slowed down over the week. I still don't have anything I can call solid feedback, something that I can say for sure was caused by my tulpa. All I have is stuff which could be her. This kind of clouded feeling near the back of my head which seems to come and go during the day, the random impulses of feeling that come from it and how I feel much more exhausted during the day are things which I can say could be caused by the tulpa, but they are also things that could be something else. So despite increasing my time spent tulpaforcing to around an hour and a half, I don't really feel any sense of progression. And I'm pretty sure my impatience isn't helping. So I have decided to try to do things a little differently. Despite having a form in mind for my tulpa, I kind of decided that I would let her have some input when it came to her form around the time I properly committed to this thing. And now I have changed my mind. At the time of writing, my tulpa's form is currently a red orb. From what I have gathered, emotional response and independent action are the two ways to tell if the tulpa is becoming sentient. Now I have already established that I am unsure when it comes to interpreting what could and could not be my tulpa's emotional response. And it is kind of hard to tell if an orb is sentient or not. So in creating a form, it might be easier to tell if I am making any progress. And if I am simply too early in creation to start to see signs of sentience. In that case, it won't hurt to do so anyway.
  2. Time for today's update. That feeling is still residing in my head, occasionally responding by becoming more intense while I narrate. Since my tulpa still doesn't do anything independently while in my wonderland, I doubt this is a sign of sentience, but rather a sign of getting close. I have also noticed that I have been getting more tired earlier in the day, although I am unsure whether this is related. As I said, I am still unsure about this feeling in my head. It seems to fade into the background if I keep myself busy, but returns during downtimes and is just... There. I wonder if this is just a really really weird headache
  3. Funnily enough, I've been having the opposite effect. This may be due to something else however, but I definitely haven't become more reclusive.
  4. Well I knew that my tulpa was never going to be able to play games with me. I was more worried about if she was going to be able to play games at all. One of her likes are video games, and until I realised that possession was actually possible, I thought that all this would mean is that she would have to watch me play games. Am glad that this is possible.
  5. Just a quick update. I've noticed a strange feeling around the top/back area of my head while listening to electronic music in the car. I noticed that this feeling changed when I started listening to more punkish music. I could only describe this new feeling as more negative than the first feeling, which I labelled positive, but I have to note that I am unsure about this as it is not obviously positive or negative if tha makes any sense. This would fit in with my tulpa's musical preferences, as her favourite type of music should be electronic music. I should also note that when reading to it, and right now actually, that this feeling is still present, but I am unable to exactly describe it. It's just feels like there is something there, neither painful or pleasurable though. I also have to say that I am incredibly confused right now. Since I am hoping for her to become sentient sometime soon, it have become unsure whether these feelings are the tulpa, or whether they are just weird feelings that I want to be the tulpa. In any case, this is an interesting development. I think that this is a completely new feeling, but this may just be because I have never payed this much attention to what I feel in my head.
  6. Now I know that this question has been already asked kind of in fourification's help with narration topic, but I just needed some extra clarification. Now since I'm working again, I am going to have less time during the day to sit at home and tulpaforce. So what I was wondering is this; would reading a comic or manga help much in the narration stage. Obviously, not just reading the text, but also describing sound and images. I have ended up reading them on my phone while sitting in a cafe where any kind of focus is harder to achieve, so I was just wondering if it would be worth it to read it to my tulpa, rather than just reading it for myself. Keep in mind that my current method of narration is having a one on one session with her running through the day's events and all that jazz. In fact I have a question about that too. Which is more productive; narrating events and emotions as they happen, or summarised it at the end of the day? I mean, the former would have a lot more detail, but it is not as intimate and is less focussed than the latter.
  7. Yeah, I got that feeling too. I actually tried last week. Felt odd. Like someone was watching.
  8. I have now confirmed sunday's event as a complete overreaction to what must have been an itchy feeling in my head. At least I think that was the case. But it has certainly pushed me into overdrive. I'm doing at least an hour and a half per day, spread throughout the day. The only problem is that I am now overly aware of every feeling in my head, suspicious that any random feeling is a sign of sentience, hoping that it is that alien feeling you are supposed to feel as sentience develops. I keep thinking 'Is this the real thing, or do I just really hope this is the real thing'. In any case, going the extra distance every day is a plus. Unless I am doing something very wrong, I am hoping that I shall start to get some feedback for the past month and a half's work. I should also note a strange event that happened yesterday. I'm pretty sure it is totally unrelated, but just in case you guys think it is, I'll post it down anyways. A few minutes after I got into the shower yesterday morning, I started to see something strange. The closest thing I can compare it to is embers from a fire, except moving in all directions and white in colour. This was the first time I had experienced something like that, and it freaked me the hell out. But as I said, I doubt it is related to my tulpa. Oh yes, and there was a question disguised in this post. Will I know right off if the alien feeling you get is my tulpa. Or is it something I'm gonna have to test for?
  9. Right, well, as people who have read my two journal entries may know, I am pretty far into my tulpa creation process. The only problem I seem to be having is with my wonderland. The closest thing to compare it to would be this: The difference being that the pillar has a larger radius and it has an interior which you go down stairs into, with furniture and everything. You can probably tell from this that it is way too complicated. I guess the only reason I have been able to use it for creation is because I only stay on the top of the pillar, and in order to be able to concentrate on talking to my tulpa is because I focus only on the tulpa and her immediate area, the scenery and other surroundings simply going black. So I guess now is as good a time as any to go for something simpler, something indoors where I can actually have my fully formed wonderland and my tulpa at the same time, rather than being able to only visualise one. So I have a couple questions to ask. Will this sudden change in environments have any negative effects on her? And can I revisit the old wonderland once she has been created and possibly switch between the two?
  10. Might as well keep this updated. So yesterday I woke up with that weird feeling gone. It would return at various stages of the day for a few minutes at a time. During these times, I tried to replicate what happened in the early hours of the 10th, by asking it to respond by pulsing as a form for yes and to remain how it is as a no. While it would start to throb at some answers, I started to doubt whether or not this was actually my tulpa responding, since it would sometimes require me to ask it to stop pulsing a few times before it would stop. I kinda felt bad about asking it too, it would kind of feel like I was treating it like an idiot, making it answer yes or no questions. That's the thing. At times, it will feel jarring enough to make me believe that what I am feeling is actually a semi-sentient response. But at others it may feel like a simple weird feeling. If that makes any sense at all. But whether this is a sign of sentience or not, I am continuing to narrate. Did an hour of narrating my opinions on a couple of people and described a movie series's plot, amongst a few other things. I may start to increase my time narrating, maybe an extra half hour or hour. Did another half hour when I woke up. That feeling has returned. I feel that if sentience is ever going to happen, it will probably happen this week. Since while I do kind of doubt that the feeling is what I hope it is, I can say that it was certainly jarring enough at the time to make me think that this was sentience. I think that alone is enough to convince me that all these hours spent giving her personality and talking to her is going to start showing results, if it hasn't already.
  11. Well, I found out about tulpas on 4chan. Faq man's guide was posted up on there. I was really quite curious about it, and I had a few questions. So I sent him an email and he sent me a reply. Got an email a couple months later from him telling me about the site. I've known this site has been here since the beginning of may, but I have only just started using the forums. So uuh, hi.
  12. Well I can't remember the exact times. I know that I first started a committed process around may 4th. I first spent around 4 hours thinking of her hobbies, likes and dislikes I think I managed to think of around 25 traits, and gave them half an hour each. So that was more or less eleven hours on the traits. I then went back and applied it to a sphere as described in faq man's personality guide, applying the traits to her visible personality and behavior, then peeled away a layer of the sphere and applied them to her preferences and hobbies and likewise for her morals and outlook, and finally for her drive. This was sort of to give it structure and to reinforce it all. This took a few more hours. After that I went and did an hour a day of narrating things such as things I have experienced, my opinions of things, and stories. I think this began nearer to the end of may. All in all, I would say that this took around 17 hours for the personality and 20 hours for the narration.
  13. Well, this morning gentlemen, all doubt lingering doubt has been washed away. I think I have achieved sentience within my tulpa. Basically, I first heard about this tulpa stuff mid march. I thought it was a really interesting idea. I did a little research on it and tried it out, never really committing to it. By this I mean I did a maximum of 15 minutes a day trying to make up its form in my mind. I had a more in depth look at the tulpa guides by faq man and irish at the beginning of may, and started to take them seriously. I tried to do around an hour a day, thinking of traits and giving them depth. There would be days where I would only manage half an hour or 45 minutes, or perhaps none at all. But I persevered. Around the end of may, I finished the personality and moved onto narration, telling her about movie and game storylines since I lack imagination, and my thoughts on various aspects of my life and such.Although for the last couple of weeks, I have wavered in consistency. Some days I would do a full hour, other days I would maybe manage 20 minutes, if any at all. But earlier today, I noticed I had a weird feeling at the top of my head, similar kind of feeling that you have if your hair is in an awkward position. Well, to be honest I noticed it a few days ago, but I thought that it was exactly that. So I kind of realised that this feeling had nothing to do with my hair. As I sat down to do my second half hour of the day, I decided that I would actually try to ask questions in my head and see if it responded. So told it to make a pulsing sensation in my head if the answer was yes, and to simply stay as it is if it was no. Since I made it so that she liked games, I first asked if she liked RPGs. There was no response. I then asked if the liked FPSs. That feeling started to throb. I was shocked; I hadn't really expected it to work. After a few seconds dazed by this. I then asked her to stop. And the pulsing stopped. this was around 15 minutes ago. I am fairly sure that this was an actual response as opposed to me thinking that I feel what I want to feel. I can now still feel her presence in my head. I have a general idea of what her form is going to be, so I suppose I will work on that once she starts talking. This got me so excited that I literally jumped up and typed this out after it happened. Please inform me if I have totally misinterpreted what happened. I would feel slightly silly if it turned out that I totally overreacted to a weird feeling in my head.
  14. Heh, you see, that is why I am asking this. I don't know if my tulpa will think that I am this character, or if she is herself. Would be a little weird. Ah, alright, cheers glitched.
  15. Spellknite

    Roleplaying

    Well, I'm quite big on games, so a lot of the time I will be focusing on games more than I am my tulpa. So I thought of something. While playing skyrim, I started narrating what was going on to a roleplaying sort of degree. I guess the easiest comparison I can make is to that inde game, Bastion, where there is somebody narrating everything you do. I gave my character backstory and would narrate the events in the game in my head, giving context to every action. Keep in mind that the character in the game is not related to my tulpa. Now being at the stage in the creation process where I have made the personality and all and am supposed to be narrating the days events, I was wondering if this will actually help in the creation process. Or am I just fooling myself? I have also just realised that I posted this in the wrong section. My bad : D