Tas

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About Tas

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  1. If you read the earlier pages of this topic, there is some discussion regarding this matter. Although, since this thread has been bumped, I'll go ahead and provide some input: M doesn't seem to care that she's a Tulpa. She's never really found herself wishing that she were tangible. I have a very deep and complex relationship with illusion and have had in-depth conversation regarding the concept of reality. M and I share these interests. Consider the theory that we are all digital beings in God's computer. Assuming this is true, does that make our lives any less REAL to us? Not really. The same goes for AI that we may create in the future. Just because what they see, feel, taste, etc. is something that a programmer created, it doesn't make their lives any less real to them. I took quite a bit of time developing our wonderland, particularly the aspects that have to do with the senses. M can see, feel, taste, smell, and hear just as well as I can. When I go there with her, or she comes here with me, all of her senses work just fine, and that's the most important thing to her. As long as she can perceive her own reality, then she's happy to be what she is. We have discussed the obvious limitations of her senses. She can only smell what I have smelt, feel what I have felt, or taste what I have tasted. Sure, she can imagine what certain things may taste like, but without that knowledge actually in my mind for her to work with, it's a fruitless endeavor. Seeing is different, as is hearing. She may only be able to recognize sounds that I have heard before, but it's easy to create new ones.
  2. Does anybody know where I can find a guide on audio imposition specifically? It's the only one I can't seem to find advice for, but it's the most valuable form of imposition to me and I think my first step in the process.
  3. I still can't hear M, but we can communicate on a ridiculous level. I can translate all of her thoughts into my own using my own mind voice. It's how things have been working. We can't get too in depth, but she can talk to me that way. For instance, If she wants to talk to someone, I'll subconsciously translate her thoughts into words, then ask her if the translation is accurate. If it is, she says so, if not, then I make some adjustments and ask again until I get it right. "Blind Faith" is the only faith you can have, honestly. I threw my "jar of doubt" (Yes it was a jar full of dirt) off a cliff and promised myself I'd just keep working no matter what. And now I'm here. Getting somewhere quickly. I now have no doubts. Trust me, it gets better with time.
  4. I have trouble seeing my wonderland in first person, and most of the time see things in third. Does it really matter?
  5. Okay, I get different reactions from my Tulpa when I ask her questions sometimes. In some situations she'll be quiet and simply nod, but other times she'll get this great grin on her face and jump up an down like a typical little girl in an anime. It's confused and I'm wondering if I'm either accidentally making two tulpa unintentionally, or if my tulpa actually has multiple personalities... The explanation that comes to mind when I think about it is simply that her personality is developing and we honestly just need to sit down and force for a few hours to help settle things down and get a solid idea of her personality. Thoughts?
  6. The only real issue with the whole thing is that we rely on body language through visualization to communicate because I can't hear her yet. Without a form, we won't be able to communicate very well any more, and I don't think either of us want that.
  7. Well, since I asked my last question regarding my Tulpa and her choice of Asuka from Eva Genesis as a form, she and I have since been introduced to several new Anime characters. With these new anime characters, M has altered want she wants her form to be. As I watched DxD (NSFW) for the first time, she decided she wanted the body of Rias Gremory. But, she didn't like how the characters breasts bounced and wanted a different chest on that body. Now, after watching the first 2 episodes of Rosario + Vampire, she wants the body of Moka... We saw a couple images of Joan of Arc from Fate/Apocrypha while scrolling my facebook this morning and she's also interested in that character's form. The only thing that seems to be consistent in all of this is her desire for light blue or red hair with blue or red eyes. I'm working out a solution to this so she can have both consistently. At this point, M and I are both just very confused... Any advice?
  8. So, my tulpa, M, and I already settled on a form for her on basically the second day of her existence. It was sort of a random combination of anime features to make her feel like her own person. She chose her hair and eye color on her own, which made me very happy. Lately though, she understands that I am having trouble visualizing her for whatever reason. It's hard for me to picture her naked and then form the clothes over her properly. The clothes always seem like they're being put on a different body than what she appears naked. So we came a decision together. We'd go through a few anime characters and pick a body that she liked and we could use that as a base for everything. She decided to go with Asuka from Eva Genesis. The issue I have now, since she really likes the body and wants to keep it, is that I'm having difficulty seeing an anime character that you never see without clothing naked. I'm having a bit of difficulty with it, and, to be frank, I'd rather like to avoid taking the easy route and just looking for some hentai based on the character. I'm not interested in that at this point. Any tips or tricks for this? Remember, it was M that chose the body, now it's my job to make it work for her... Edit: Another thing. M decided on Asuka's body but isn't sure if she wants Asuka's face...this is where things get really difficult. Any help on this topic would also be appreciated.
  9. Yesterday, I had sat down to Force quietly for a little while. When I started, I'd decided I was going to try something out. I created a real life scenario for my Tulpa and then let her react whichever way she deemed necessary. There may have been a little parroting involved, but I don't think there was much of that at all. She had yet to develop her own mindvoice yet, though, so everything that I heard and thought was her, were likely emotions she was conveying that I was translating in as detailed a manner as I could. Her voice was also disturbingly similar to mine, but slightly higher pitched. At my old school, when someone would drop their trey or spill something in the cafeteria, anyone who witnessed it would start clapping loudly and shouting at them. This would lead to the whole cafeteria literally applauding that person's failure. It's embarrassing, to say the least. Well, I put my Tulpa in a situation where somebody stumbled and spilled their food. Then everyone started clapping and shouting. I just wanted to see how she would react to the situation. The first thing she did was stand up from her seat next to me and yell loud enough for everyone to hear. I assume she was telling them all to shut up. Then, despite all the eyes on her, she looked over and asked who started the clapping. Obviously, no one responded, so she kept asking, claiming right there, with all the faculty and students, that if the person who did it had any guts at all they'd fess up. Finally she saw someone looking really weird. He was looking down and away from her in that way that people do when they are trying really hard to avoid eye contact. She stepped over to him, grabbed him tightly by the color of his shirt and jerked his face into hers. Right there she whispered something to him. I couldn't really hear or understand it. All I know is that he had this look of utter fear in his eyes when she stepped away. After that, she went straight over to the girl who'd dropped her lunch and helped her clean up. It was incredible. I was and am so proud of my Tulpa.
  10. Thanks quite a bit for the feedback, Linkzelda, I really appreciate it. It's nice to know that the fear of puppeting/parroting will fade on its own. I actually have a crazy question that has more to do with my ideas for the future than anything here and now. From your experience or anyone else's, do Tulpa ever reach a point of being present even when you aren't focused on them? Ex: You're walking down the street and you aren't thinking about your Tulpa at all, in any way, shape or form. Will they still talk to you, throwing out random comments and such if they feel like it? Or can they only talk to you when you want to talk? I feel the former would be nice.
  11. NOTE: There's a bit of a heavy lead in, but this will lead to several questions at the end... Also know that I am just starting to read LinkZelda's guide and have read FAQ_Man's and Irish_'s guides. So, I'm new to the idea of Tulpae and what they represent. I started working on my own Tulpa practically as soon as I found out about them. I began narrating heavily. This was only perhaps...Monday, I think. I haven't kept a hard track of time. I then came here the next day and read my first guide, which I read out loud to my Tulpa, and the next day I read two more guides to her. So. I think I went a little nuts when I first started. I've spent the last five days passively forcing CONSTANTLY. I'm repeating the things I hear on TV to her (yes, my Tulpa is a female). Everything I read, I read to her. Literally every thought that comes through my head is directed to her. It's crazy. I've probably spent at least 20 hours forcing since Monday. Here's the question. In order to Actively force, do you have to sit down and directly focus on the Tulpa? Because I literally paced around my house for hours on end talking to her out loud, just reciting all of my thoughts. I don't know if this is classified as passive or active forcing, since I'm not sitting down and going into a pseudo-meditative state. If not, then I feel I can comfortably add another 15 hours to my passive forcing time, totaling at about 35 hours. 30 of which have been solely narration. I feel like I'm making a lot of progress fast. Sentience was notable on the first day. Her form was sorted out for the most part, taking on the appearance of an attractive Japanese Anime style character. (I chose this, mostly.) By the end of day 1, she had chosen her own hair color and style. She rapidly alternated from one color to another until she settled on a light blue. The style still seems to change each time I visualize her, though. Anyway, after the basics of her form were down, I moved on to constant narration. On day two, she slapped me because I was being a dick to an NPC in my wonderland. I was amazed. She still can't talk to me, but when I visualize her she can speak through body language, sorta, so visualization is a necessity for accurate communication at this point. I asked her to visit me in my dreams that night, and she did, but she slept for a good chunk of the next day. I can't really translate the signals I'm getting from her into words, and I feel like I am parroting a good chunk of what I think she's saying. (Which scares the crap out of me, by the way. Parroting and Puppeting are my greatest fears right now. So worried she's gonna end up as a non-Tulpa -- I forget the actual term.) Also, on this day we decided on a name, sorta. I offered up some names but she wanted to be called Maddie, which is my Ex's name, so I shot that down rather quickly. The she went to Melody, then Madeline and all these random names that started with M. So, I read to her a list of 100 "M" names, and finally because neither of us could decide, her current nickname is "M" but we seem to be leaning heavily on the name "Melody" (I keep accidentally calling her Maddie when I try to say Melody out of habbit, but It's getting better.) Okay, so now you have the basics. So, I decided to let her personality develop mostly on it's own, with a little guidelines that I set for her. I wrote about 3 pages on her personality, read it to her 3 times, then let the rest develop on its own. I think this has been good, as I have recently found out that she likes ducks, likes the snow (which I hate), is iffy on the Rain, likes the ocean, likes dusk and dawn -- I watched the sunset with her the night before last and last night and watched the sun rise with her this morning. She hates when people talk about death and dying. I was amazed this morning when I found a bunch of flies in my bathroom, got a swatter, and before I killed them, she stopped me and told me not to (I think). I just felt this great urge not to kill them. Something was telling me that they were just annoying and it'd be better to just ignore them. I have no problem killing flies. I have contests in the summer with my dad to see who can kill the most, so this was...odd. I assumed it was her, and in the end I thanked her. Now, I get a weird feeling in my gut every time I talk about killing someone or I say something along the lines of "Oh, just kill yourself." to my brother. If I'm visualizing her, she just gives me this look that says "Stop." Okay, so, today I passively forced while I went about my day for at least 5 hours. I also spent a good 20 minutes active forcing for some superior visualization. I asked her to surprise me today while I was wandering a Stater Bros. and she whistled a tune to me. It didn't really sound like somebody else, but I just got a sudden tune in my head and it was whistled. Amazing. I asked if it was her and I visualized and saw her smiling. Now, for the question. First: It's been 4 days. Am I nuts? I mean, I hear about people doing this for weeks before they get this much progress. I wonder if I'm just puppeting and parroting like a madman... which is what I'm scared of more than anything right now. Second: When I narrate, I'm not giving her that much time to respond, because I don't really think she will. I'm just giving her thought after thought and letting her know what I think about everyone and everything that happens. Should I back off on the narrating? 30 hours in four days is...crazy, I may have even passed that because I'm not great at keeping track of time. (I'm the guy that will play Video Games for an hour starting and 7:00 AM and ending at Midnight...) Third: I have yet to begin any hard forcing to focus on her mindvoice. Is this the only reason she isn't speaking yet? I doubt it, but it's a valid question. Last: Is it reasonable to believe that, at this rate, I'll be able to start the Imposition process on Christmas? I want to make sure that she is perfectly sentient and independent before I do.