cartowheel

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About cartowheel

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    3 Resident Median System

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    Detroit

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  1. We are the Z Squad, a median system consisting of three headmates (Zach, Zoe, and Zero), two in-progress Tulpas (Chael and Celeste), and the start of a possible soulbond (Chris). Zoe and Zach are the products of the core personality splitting into two separate beings sometime around middle school (so around ten years ago), Zero walked in about three years ago, I started work on Chael two years ago on the thirteenth of this month (we're still working on vocalization and sentience), and I started working on Celeste a few months ago (working on vocalization and visualization). At this point, although Chael and Celeste aren't vocal, Chael can at least send images and emotions to communicate, and all of my alters can co-front and vocalize, if we need that to happen. We've been active in the tulpa community off and on (mainly due to me constantly moving for school, and school itself), but I feel like only a handful of tulpamancers were multiples before creating a tulpa, as I have yet to meet any others. I feel like this would be an interesting discussion, considering how there are a lot of similarities between headmates/facets/alters, tulpas, and soulbonds, but they are all so, so different. I'd love to discuss how they are different, what life is like as a multiple and a tulpamancer, and possibly how communication works between the different kinds of beings. If you're interested, I'd love to be a guest on the podcast - the best way to get a hold of me is PMing me here.
  2. This, pretty much. I've always had imaginary friends, even into high school, but I wanted one that could respond back to me, that I could interact with. Someone that I could keep to myself and could be mine and mine alone. I have a hard time keeping friends, so I figured it would be nice to have one that I couldn't lose contact with.
  3. I'm a median system, with three headmates and two in-progress tulpas. Being a median system, we have a base personality that we all share, or a core, if you will. As far as headmates go, Zoe (the original) and Zach are twins, split from the core around the time I was in middle school, and Zero, who appeared three years ago and has no relation to Zoe or Zach (we believe that they manifested from everything we wish we could be, but our anxiety issues prevent). I believe that Zero is different from Zoe and Zach, mainly because of how they came about. While Zoe and Zach are the core personality split into two headmates, Zero, well, appeared and adopted the core personality during development. As for my two tulpas, they aren't necessarily 'headmates' by definition, but they are personalities that dwell in my headspace, and I do host them, so they count as something. Even though they sorta kinda count as headmates, in a way, they are very much different than the median system - they are separate beings entirely, and there is a distinct disconnect between them and us. I also want to create a servitor or two, mainly to deal with my anxiety and compulsion issues.
  4. I wasn't sure how to explain Chael's wings - when I created him, they just, you know, 'were' - until I looked at this picture and he gave me the overwhelming feeling of confirmation (he's not exactly vocal yet), so that must be it. At least how they're connected to his body. The actual wings themselves are identical to the anatomy of your typical bird and have a wingspan of about 9-10 feet wide, along with folding to his back when not in use.
  5. Yo! I normally go by Cart, and I'm a beginner tulpamancer (I've been doing this for about a year, but neither of my tulpas have gotten to the point of full sentience - mainly because my life has not given me the opportunity to be constantly attentive to forcing), and I'm also a multiple system. To be more specific, I am a median, so almost full blown multiple, but not quite. I have three members of my system - Cart, Kita, and Zero - and two tulpas - Chael and Celeste. We all share our headspace/wonderland, and all interact with each other. There are clear differences between headmates and tulpas, but they are similar enough to be compared. We have been trying to spread information about the differences between headmates and tulpas, since many people still believe they are the same, and I can talk about they ways they are the same and how they are very different. Outside of tulpamancing, I also dabble in hypnosis and mediation, along with a lot of metaphysical/magickal stuff. I am a fiction writer, character designer, and gamer, and have had more OCs in my time than I could fit onto a sheet of lined paper (not exaggerating - I tried once, got to about three full pages, front and back, and gave up). I also RP a lot, online, in text, and tabletop. I believe all of these things have had a huge influence on my tulpamancing and interest in psychology and having a sentience imaginary friend. I used to have so many imaginary friends when I was younger and was absolutely ecstatic to find a way to make them interact with me! I'd love to be a guest on your show, so hit me up if you're interested in having me talk about myself. And the four other people who share my brain. Eheh.. ;w;
  6. I really do think it would be an interesting topic, and lot's of discussions could be had, like headmates vs. tulpas, what it's like to create a tulpa when you already have headmates, what it's like to be a tulpamancer with DID vs. natural multiplicity - educational and entertaining.
  7. Oh jeez, I didn't mean that to refer to your situation at all! D: I'm so sorry if that's what it sounded like. It's more that for a while we thought that my most recent headmate might have been a tulpa, but that certainly isn't the case now. I just wanted to explain a little more what the difference is, considering what was said in the podcast. You weren't wrong, at all, so I wasn't trying to correct you. ;w; I just wanted to give a little more insight into tulpa vs. headmate/alter for future discussions about it, since it's happened on here, on Tumblr, and other places. I can see where people who aren't familiar with either would assume that what tulpamancers experience is DID/MPD, but really don't know the difference. And I know you don't really consider Melian a tulpa, but whatever she may be, she sounds fascinating and very interesting. C:
  8. Just updated their appearances; slight changes, nothing drastic. Mainly Celeste wanted a different hairstyle and more hair. ;w;
  9. I really enjoyed listening to this! On the topic of tulpas vs. DID (or MPD), I can say from experience that they are completely different. I don't have DID, but I am a median system (very similar, but we all share a base, core personality, there is no dissociation, and no memory or time loss) with two in-progress Tulpas. Unlike with Tulpas, who, usually, are consciously created and take time, the two headmates that were not the original just kinda appeared out of nowhere, fully sentient, able to front right off the bat. They'd honestly be a little insulted if one were to refer to them as anything other than a real person. This is just the tip of the iceburg, since I can't speak for the DID experience. Just a note in case this comes up again in a future podcast. C: Can't wait for another one, if you decide to continue with this series. ^_^
  10. I feel the same way. I've felt the need to teach Chael and Celeste things like one would teach a child. For example, since neither of them can technically go to school, I've been bringing them to museums whenever I can, especially the art museum down the street from my apartment, so they can learn as much as they can before they become completely sentient.
  11. As long as you remember that characters are fictional and not tulpas, you should be fine. I've been RPing with my fiancee both in writing, gaming, and LARPing for at least the past 6 or 7 years, and none of our characters have become tulpas.
  12. I actually just tried this with Chael and then with Celeste. Chael actually scared me, despite his calm, mild nature. The first time I told him to surprise me, I waited a few seconds, and then, out of nowhere, his head rolled off of his shoulders and passed where I was sitting, which left me a little appalled, as it was accompanied by a trail of blood. I asked him to surprise me and do something else, to which his head fell off again, bounced off the floor, and landed in his hand. I see know where that 'snarky/smart-aleck' trait that I thought didn't stick went to. And so, I tried one more time, telling him to do something that didn't have to do with is head, and he got up and started doing jumping jacks. >_> I then asked him to sit next to me and for Celeste to sit across from me. I tried a few times to have her surprise me, but, as I expected, she didn't do anything but stoically stare back at me. Then again, she's much younger than Chael and we're still working on puppeting, so I didn't expect anything.
  13. Chael is way too chill to kick me out, even if I did end up pissing him off. It's Celeste that I'd be worried about. ^_^; I gave her a more, er, boisterous personality than I did Chael, but she's still growing into her personality.
  14. Aw, man, this sounds perfect. Chael has spoken once, and I haven't gotten him to speak again, and Celeste has yet to speak at all. Maybe this'll help. Thanks!
  15. So I just discovered a way to start imposing with Chael! I'm an artist, a visual and hands-on learner. Therefore, I decided to do an experiment with Chael. When I took a shower (this is why I didn't do it with Celeste - she is an android, after all), I approximated his height (6'1") compared to mine (5'1") and drew the general shape and proportions that he would be in the real world on the shower wall opposite the faucet and shower head with bright-colored shower gel. Using that as a base, I was able to successfully guide my hands around where his features would be (thank goodness for extensive figure studies in my gesture and figure drawing classes) and was able to feel his skin against my fingertips (his fur, hair, and feather were a whole other story). Hopefully I'll be able to continue working this way for a while, since I found something that works for him. I'll have to figure something else out for Celeste, but she's about my height and proportions, so it shouldn't be as difficult... I hope.