Quadraginta

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj-Edr0k8TQ BURN MADDDRRRRIIIIIIIDDDD Raid: "You f*ing racist, it's 'My Dread,' not 'Madrid.'" BURN MYYY BRREEEEEAAADDDD. Raid: "To make some Thanatoast?" ......BRRREEEEEAAADDDD Raid: "Wtf, mane"

Raid: "Jackie and I made a promise-" Was it a promise? I'm so forgetful. Raid: "It is now. Anyways, we said we'd be together forever. And that if there's an afterlife, I would accompany him. Forever." This isn't anime at all.

>Slightly-stronger-than-stereotypical-angsty-teenage-thoughts about wanting to end myself for stupid reasons that will only net me attention-whore comments if I speak them so I will withhold that BS to save myself and everyone else a lot of time. >Raid's response, Gaige's (from Borderlands 2) voice saying, "LIVE! LIIIIVVEEE!" an exact quote from the game and some random silliness to cheer me up. >Proceeds to do just as she commands me. I'd say she's done her part. Raid: "You don't say?"

next person will most definitely use 'inb4' for their post. Have fun.

It would probably speed up the process, and it would also probably earn you her undying hatred, loathing, fear, and resentment. Go for it!

So, depression's taken over. I won't elaborate much, just that I have an asininely (that is now a word) long time letting go of the past. I have few regrets, but the ones I do have are so damned annoying, they're literally ALL I think about nowadays. Nevermind the fact that I think about stupid shit all the time anyways, but this is new. So, I was lying in bed, and, well.....this is basically a short recap of the very end after I laid in bed for a good 20 minutes, depressed and apathetic as hell. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Me: (turns on Backside of the TV on youtube on louder setting on PS Vita) Raid: [Are you forgetting something, Jackie?] Me: "Yeah.........I've forgotten how to smile." *Immediately starts smiling and feeling incredibly hopeful and happy* ---------------------------------------------------------------------- It didn't last long. Just long enough for me to post this. I've just remembered something incredibly important to me, though. And I have her to thank. [Damn right, you have me to thank ;3] There she goes. Heheh.

Don't make a weed joke. [Yeah, guys, don't make a weed joke!]

My tulpa has just shown her mischievous side......ugh. This is quite torturous. [You know you love it, Jackie! ^_^] T_T

Day.....uh.... [139] You sure? [Trust me, Jackie] Well, ok, then. Day 139. I guess. [but it is!] Ok, ok. So, last night, Raid gave me a very stern talking-to, about how I'm falling apart and blah blah blah, that kind of crap. Whatever. I was enjoying the scolding for two reasons. 1. She's right in everything she talked about. Absolutely, completely right. I knew it before the scolding (didn't grasp it, though), knew it while she was scolding, and knew it after she was finished. It was awesome. She knows better than me, which is fantastic. If I don't know better, at least somebody legitimately does and doesn't just assume they do because of some shitty authority. 2. I heard everything she said. Everything. All of it. It came from her. Non-stop, too. Hell, you could even call it a rant, if you wanted to, but it all came from her. I was so happy to hear her so clearly. So, so happy. I didn't even care that she was so right about me fucking myself up, and......oh, wait. Shit. I enjoy this very much. It makes me happy.

(After googling pathological liars) "I'm just glad you're my tulpa, and not his." [i would never be his tulpa, neither by choice or fate]

That was weird. I had a lucid dream earlier, and I tried summoning Raid into the dream, but one of the dream NPCs told me she was still asleep. That's pretty awesome, communicating with myself. Then I asked them if I was dreaming. They said yes. I believe I also asked them if they were alive, and I think they responded with no.

A bit of lazy forcing later...... Raid's vocality has increased! I think. Sometime's, she's loud and clear. Other times, I'm almost convinced I parroted. BUT! Vocality confirmed immensely. I was playing Dark Souls 2 earlier, and I was lost as hell, then something spoke in my mind. "behind you." I assumed it was Raid speaking, so I did go behind me. And lo and behold...I was on the right path again ;_; I'm not religous in any way, but bless your soul, Raid. Bless it immensely. May Lord Gwyn watch over you.....that Hollow piece of- SO. Vocality confirmed. And improving :D Got anything to say, Raid? [sixty nine] .....And there you have it, folks.

While actively forcing? Either snuggling, or going on adventures and mentally playing Dark Souls, a game I've played so much, I acually memorized pretty much the whole game, and I play it with my tulpa. Fuck yeah.

How about every darn thing that ever happened between us? (all the positive things anyways) Like when we made a small portal to a just as small moon (don't ask) Or when I found the knife in the tree, planted next to what else I saw, or when I found a rope ladder in the wonderland which led to what was practically another flippin' dimension, what with it being a brick balcony, and stars littering the whole sky......and wall.......and even stars below us.....(yeah, our wonderland's a fustercluck, don't ask) Or how about her first emotional response? Her first affections, which were not parroted, and she gave me them herself? All this reminiscing is making me feel.

For those of you just joining us, and just visited this page, let me sum it up with this short summary. Day 1: How do I tulpa? Day asdrdfasdjifgbasdjirbasdjk fgv: SNUGGLEZ! That's about it.