corytrevor

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About corytrevor

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  1. I failed as well, but I dont think you'll get anything out of being angry about it. Theres only so much happiness to go around, so some people miss out.
  2. I tried doing this: Im not sure if thats passive forcing or not. But we're done anyway I decided to quit forcing today Im crying too much to type this out so maybe later just thanks to everyone who offered help and encouragement I can pull my shit together Im going to have to for work anyway Thanks to Kate, Sands and Roswell, GraffnTrix, TOG, Fede, Mongoose, Raetin, Fourfiction, Sock, Bluesleeve, Virgil, Chupi, Mercurial, Mercurial, Sheep LI and everyone else here
  3. Had one day towards the beginning of week where everything seemed to be going to really well. I have no idea what made it any different and every other day has been like normal. Hour of forcing each day except One day we only forced for half hour for the first time since may. I over slept by two hours and forty minutes and only got up when someone called looking for me. I need one of those tulpa alarms that everybody raves about
  4. Sometimes she will move around alittle. If I visualize her across the room and focus on her and try to think about letting her move she will come and sit by me. If I hug her she will hug back. But if Im not thinking about her moving she doesnt. I guess it still counts. No other signs. Im not sure I would recognize an emotional response if one happened
  5. Thanks Roswell, that does mean alot. Been doing the same forcing schedule since last post. Nothing to report
  6. I dont want to fuck shit up for people. The jizz and deep dicking of tulpa just seems like a alittle much for the very top front of the forums
  7. I been wondering how to proceed in general and how to respond in this thread when I noticed something in the chat box last night. A mod talking about one his tulpas first words. "Bastard, what the hell? Because she's tsundere btw she said that after I came inside her" And now this morning under our "For Science" motto it seems the discussion turned to cleaning jizz up off the floor. So is that the end game here? Creating an advance masturbation tool? Is this the motivation? Create a girl who literally cant say no to a dick being shoved into her holographic body? And if she figures out how to complain its only because she was programmed to pretend like she doesnt like it, but secretly cant go without dick? And naturally she is trapped with me regardless? I dont know how to take any of this seriously. Maybe Im overly dramatic, but apparently even the mods cant treat this like anything but some kind of a retarded game. I dont know Well ignoring that and getting back to this thread. I have still been forcing. Or trying. Its not going well. As far as narration goes, I have alot of time built into my schedule for it, but pretty much have been finding myself sitting in silence. I dont want to be the guy who ruins everything. I know there were at least a couple of people who had more time in then me before they got any vocalizations, as far as a total lack of progress, just think of me as the one off fuck up. Please dont let my short comings mess things up for you. Also thanks for your thoughts. I will do what I can to follow your advice I dont know. I see people with more then 3 tulpae and I have a hard time believing that, so many fully separate people are all stuffed into the same head, all acting independently, all the time. In cases like that, your head just fooling you seems easier for me to follow. Techniques also seemed to have changed quite a bit in the past few months. The current thinking seems to be the only thing you can do wrong is think that you can do something wrong. It used to be that if you couldnt tell whether or not your tulpa was talking, then it probably wasnt. Now it seems that people are told anything everything that happens should be attributed to the tulpa, and to go ahead and parrot, because eventually the tulpae will just take over. It seems more likely to me that the tulpa wont ever take over and your brain will just be fooling you. Im not saying its a bad thing or the truth. Just me trying to come to grips with different claims Or maybe its just sour grapes. I thought giving up hope would make failing easier. Ive read his method a few times but for the most I dont really understand alot of what is in it. Hopefully as he updates it I will be able to better comprehend it. I hope she knows the situation is entirely due my short comings. I take full responsibility for being unable to do this. Just like everything else in life my combination of ignorance, stupidity, sloth, and cowardice prevail. To the point of being unable to even pretend to have a friend Now even here Im the bitter piece shit complaining about people having fun in the chat box
  8. "Bastard, what the hell? Because she's tsundere btw she said that after I came inside her" And now this morning under our "For Science" motto it seems the discussion turned to jizzing all over the floor. So is that the end game here? Creating an advance masturbation tool? Is this the motivation? Create a girl who literally cant say no to a dick being shoved into her holographic body? And if she figures out how to complain its only because she was programmed to pretend like she doesnt like it, but secretly cant go without dick? And naturally she is trapped with me regardless? So how is anybody supposed to take any of this seriously?
  9. Another week down, nothing. I plan to keep going through the motions, but I think its fair to say I give up. Honestly we are no further along then we were week one. Time we spent forcing: last thursday - 1 hour 30 minutes friday - 1 hour saturday 1 hour 15 minutes sunday - 1 hour monday - 1 hour 35 minutes and I kept falling asleep tuesday through today - 1 hour the times were broken into 2 or 3 sessions, but I dont feel like bothering with the specifics
  10. You know there are many dozens of forums full of people who claim to be vampires and werewolves right? [video=youtube] Regarding the topic at hand, I'll be the resident asshole. It seemed ok. I suppose no mention of x, mlp, or 4chan in general is a positive. However, I do believe that irish and faqman have earned mentions. I dont know your history Pleeb and could be mistaken, but I do believe that the site pretty much owes it existence and early popularity to them. Im also not sure that you are a tulpa expert, although Im sure you know far more than me, and to be fair it was the hosts words, not your own. I think the show could have used way more Bluesleeve and maybe alittle less of everyone else.
  11. If im being overly melodramatic then maybe this Otherwise, and I know its cliche but this or if I want her to sweep the leg
  12. Had a weird experience yesterday. I was dreaming, I was playing some kind of a video game, my mom was there, she said something and "in the corner by your dead cat", when I was woken up by "NO" being screamed, in a way that sounded like it came from both in and outside of my head. Im not sure what to make of this. I live alone and doubt I heard somebody outside. To the best of my knowledge I dont believe being yelled at in a dream has ever woken me up, and I dont think Ive ever heard anything quite like this at all. I was still kind of out of it, but asked my tulpa if it was her, to no response, and promptly fell back asleep thinking about the fact that I dont have a cat, dead or alive. For the most part I wrote it off as something bizarre happening in a dream, but I did remember that I was trying to teach her yes and no, so maybe. Aside from that, this week has been rough. After my last post our sessions have been dead, Im having trouble even getting slight head pressure or any other sensation. Narration has been going abysmally as well. I hate to type it out, but Ive been having alot of rogue thoughts. Stuff like my body, yard, and house are going to shit, and that our forcing time would be better spent on those. Sometime ago I was wondering how long I could possibly go without any real, solid, progress, and kind of decided on about a year. Ive been wondering if that is really tenable. I think part of the problem with our forcing is that we finished up the trait list for a second time last week, and havent had any real focal point while forcing. Ive also been trying to spend more time forcing but, Im not sure if thats a great move or not. Heres what we've done since the last post: sunday two half hours and two fifteen minute forcing sessions monday two half hours tuesday one half hour, one twenty minutes, three fifteen minutes wednesday three half hours and one fifteen minutes Ive also been wondering about the reality of all of this. My feelings have been that I was trying to create a second real physical, electrical, chemical, consciousness, that lives in my head with my current consciousness. I dont know how my consciousness came to be, and I see no reason why my brain couldnt hold a second one. Lately though, Ive been wondering if we are really doing that, or if we are attempting to have a self-induced, controlled psychotic break. I was going to post something about this over in the question and answer section, but I believe the vast majority of the board holds the opinion that we are housing someone separate. I like to believe that she is up there, forming her own neural pathways as I type this. But who knows. Imposition is absolutely a hallucination, right? If we are just forcing a psychosis unto ourselves I think my methods would probably drastically change. I probably would have never started if I thought that, but at this point if I thought it was the truth I wouldnt stop.
  13. Suppose I'll join in 1. For a short time provigil. Currently nothing 2. Seven and a half to eight and half hours. Its regular, but I generally stay fairly exhausted 127 days, 120+something forcing, ??? narrating One. Trying to get up to two. Hard to say. I set aside five hours a day at work to really focus on narrating, and an hour during my commute, but rarely manage to focus at all. Anything can fail.
  14. Nope, see updateWell not to bury the lead we may have had some vocalization attempts. Yesterday while forcing I heard some sounds that resembled humming with speech-like breaks, I tried to turn off the tones and listened, and asked to her if it was her, and to keep going if it wasnt too taxing, but the sounds didnt return. Just now while forcing, I heard some whistling-like sounds. Im hopeful and fairly convinced that we are entering the first stages of vocalization. To bring up the negative, during these sessions, and in general, it is pretty loud when I force. The tones are cranked up, and a fan and AC has been running. I have also had a confirmed false positive by way of my neighbors cranked up radio, one night. In addition, I have heard strange noises from the tones alone before. I have heard knocking at my door, and the phone ringing. However, after another anomaly tonight, I feeling pretty positive about it being legitimate. I do feel kind of strange though. I dont feel remotely as high as I thought I would upon reaching this threshold. I am here posting about it, instead of putting in more effort with her. Anyway our forcing this week: We did a second set of two fifteen minute sessions, Saturday. Sunday - Wednesday two sets of fifteen minutes in morning and two sets each night Thursday two half hour sessions in morning and one at night Friday two half hour sessions in morning and forty five minutes that night Saturday one thirty minute and one fifteen minute session in the morning, so far tonight one half hour session and one fifteen minute session. Planning on a minimum of fifteen more minutes tonight. This past week I decided I needed to spend alot more time forcing. I have alittle more free time now than when I started, so it should go to her. For two of those half hour session I tried teaching her yes and no. Sounding things out, mouth shape, tongue placement, etc. I pretty much came to the conclusion that it seemed condescending, and that her speech method is going to be far different from mine. We also spent some time watching Tony Robbins videos on youtube. The fire walking thing brought him into our mind, and since there is so much talk on here about positive thinking being a huge part of this, I thought it might help. Some of it is kind of helpful/insightful, most of it is vague cliches with no actionable advice. Update: Sounds were false positive. I was forcing and heard the sounds again and confirmed that they were just the tone and our brain fucking around. Still nothing brb noose