• Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About querist

  • Rank
  1. It seems that the general consensus of those more experienced than I is that I should continue to meditate and let Kalanda develop as she will. She will be much more resilient than I initially suspected, and everything should work out in the end. I shall keep folks posted on progress, but I want to let you know that I'll be out of the country for 10 days and I will not be able to come here while I am there. The nice thing about being where I will be is that it SHOULD be quiet and it will make meditation easier. Kalanda is quite real and has demonstrated quite the personality, I've been told. Actually, she seems absolutely enchanting (as one would expect from an Anima) and I want very much to allow her to have a more independent life. Pob hwyl!
  2. A psychologist would be a HUGE mistake at this juncture. A psychiatrist has all of the tools a psychologist has plus many more. This person needs a psychiatrist.
  3. I rarely if ever discount anyone's advice on the basis of age (except perhaps the single-digit crowd), and certainly not yours. I'm a physician and I have a Ph.D. in computer security, my specific interests being malware and forensics along with Artificial Intelligence. I have no intention on trying to shape her personality in any way, and the visage I associate with her is consistent. My desire is to allow her more independence so she can function on her own. I want her to become MORE real, if that makes any sense. I am afraid to start with her, though, for fear of making a mistake. However, I cannot in good conscience make another tulpa for the sake of it being expendable if I make a serious error. Thus, I am at an impasse and faced with a quandary. Any suggestions?
  4. You really shouldn't stop your meds without consulting with your physician. Congrats on the progress, by the way!
  5. Kevin, Thanks for the information. I'm working on sorting this. Kalanda certainly seems to have a life of her own, so to speak, and I want to allow us to function in parallel rather in series. I'm trying to talk with her when I can (hour each way drive to work helps), and for lack of a better terminology, try to help her transform to a tulpa so we can coexist and co-function. Thanks. Nobilis, thanks for letting Kevin out long enough to let him respond. :-)
  6. It's always first person, so it's hard for me to say. I notice my glasses sometimes, just like in real life.
  7. In my intro on the introductions thread I describe my situation in more detail. To make it short, I believe I am dealing with a Jungian Anima. Either way, I would like to know how to go about allowing her to become more real - to become a genuine tulpa. She seems to have a personality already (without any conscious effort on my own part), so do I just skip that step or is there anything I need to know about this? I've been reading all of the guides. I don't want to risk anything that could harm her, especially if she truly is an independent consciousness.
  8. People read these journals. Some of us are trying to make sense of all of this (see my intro for additional information), and these journals help.
  9. At this point it doesn't matter whether it is self-induced. Leave that to the professionals. If she is a danger to herself or others you have to get her to a doctor ASAP before anything happens.
  10. I'm going to need to listen to them, because honestly I've only ever heard two of them. Though I find it interesting the interpretations people have of "She's not There". To me, it always seemed to be describing an "imaginary" person. Of course, I have to vote for the Rush song since I added it to the list. :-)
  11. I'm a doctor. If I were in your situation, I would get her to a psychiatrist (not a psychologist) ASAP. The potential danger to herself may require more than a psychologist can do, and if not, the psychiatrist will refer to a psychologist. (This is not medical advice. I AM a doctor, but I am not YOUR doctor nor your girlfriend's doctor. This in no way establishes a doctor-patient relationship.)
  12. The Rush song is about a Jungian Anima, which in my opinion may or may not ALSO be a tulpa. I know a couple of people whose Animae have developed into full-fledged Tulpae. And it's still a really cool song. :-)
  13. I'm glad I'm not alone. Thank you!
  14. Animate, by Rush (It's about a Jungian Anima, but I think an Anima can be a tulpa, too) www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzXH3ZW3Wik Polarize me Sensitize me Criticize me Civilize me Compensate me Animate me Complicate me Elevate me Goddess in my garden Sister in my soul Angel in my armor Actress in my role Daughter of a demon lover Empress of the hidden face Priestess of the pagan mother Ancient queen of inner space Spirit in my psyche Double in my role Alter in my image Struggle for control Mistress of the dark unconscious Mermaid of the lunar sea Daughter of the great enchantress Sister to the boy inside of me My counterpart, my foolish heart A man must learn to rule his tender part A warming trend, a gentle friend A man must build a fortress to defend A secret face, a touch of grace A man must learn to give a little space A peaceful state, a submissive trait A man must learn to gently dominate Polarize me Sensitize me Criticize me Civilize me Compensate me Animate me Complicate me Elevate me
  15. (Responding above original post to make reading easier) I'm glad to increase the average age of participants a bit. :-) Yes, I'm cleared of any mental illness diagnoses. Kalanda is very much an anima in the Jungian sense. I'm trying to sort through all of this now. Also, she emerged in 2010, not 2011. I checked my notes. I've had a few dissociative blackouts with her, but there's never been a struggle to regain control or anything. She's always been gentle about it and quite willing to return control when I needed it. In fact, she's just always been wonderful. That's why I want to learn as much as I can about nurturing her and allowing her to develop. I've been accused of having a bit of Asperger Syndrome, but never officially diagnosed. I have two doctorates in completely unrelated sciences if that's any clue. I'm sure I'm not unique in the spontaneous possession aspect, but spontaneous generation of a communicative tulpa? That's why I wanted to seek help from those more experienced in such matters.