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About Korzant

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    with Mira

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  1. Day 382 A year.... I have been forcing with Mira for a year; and what a year it's been! In these past months I have stooped to incredibly abysmal lows and scrambled my way up to ridiculous highs. All the while I have had Mira at my side. Nightly readings, daily monologues, and constant dreams have kept the young lady's mind constantly evolving. To describe the relationship most accurately I would say that she is most like a daughter, or perhaps an adopted child? She maintains a boundless energy throughout the day and refuses to let me drift back to my typical stupor that has plagu
  2. Day 134 I think on the tulpa concept a lot. Particularly about what such a thing is or is not. Rumors abound, there's a lot of negative energy directed at it. I have read articles claiming a tulpa to be a mental disorder, a demon, a dead spirit, or even a self-induced parasite hell bent on taking over the host. It is difficult to document or study a phenomenon that happens inside someone's mind and it is even more difficult to describe development processes to someone using words as there is always something lost in translation between what I see in my mind and what you see in yours. Typ
  3. Day 125 Generally I consider myself to be straight edge. I am not religious, I do not follow any particular political system, I do not obsess with sports, and T.V shows like Breaking Bad just can not seem to hold a constant interest for me. Relationships do not last long for me. Like fireworks they may appear wonderful and fantastic but quickly fade away. I am an individual, I suppose. I self-sustain and prefer to go out no more than once a week. Conversations are complicated for me and I use a lot of energy just trying to not make a fool of myself. Awkward silences are not uncommon
  4. I have worn a wristwatch and bracelet recently, as well as a bluetooth headset to keep Mira in mind. It has helped immensely compared to what I was doing before. I don't feel self conscious when I talk out loud either because of the headset. Day 114 I am a mentor and a father figure. Very much I feel like I have adopted a child. While Mira is around me I feel incredibly self conscious about my thoughts and actions. I think it is obvious that she watches what I say and do. She is curious about interactions and will ask me many questions after I have conversations. She is like an analy
  5. Day 104 Consistency. That is what I am shooting for. Consistent forcing, consistent dialogue, consistent mindset. Keeping Mira in the back of my mind as much as possible. It is incredibly difficult! I notice we live in a world of distractions even when I'm concentrating on something I like I often times find myself wandering off mentally. Some people make it seem so easy, I'm envious to say the least! Mira has been helpful. I have explained my hardships to her and she has been accepting of the notion that I cannot always keep her "existing" 24/7 It sounds very odd to word it like th
  6. When it comes to identifying where my Tulpa is I found it harder but more effective to try and keep her in my field of view. When I am walking she typically falls behind me slightly to my flank and still sometimes feels like she's in ball form orbiting my head. I do know I am easily distracted, I live inside my head a lot but it seems like you're able to keep Noah in mind on an almost constant basis, something I'm envious of I will admit! Mira is not particularly vocal (I'm not sure how often Noah talks on his own?) but she typically is not one to start a conversation, something I feel is
  7. Day 90 For the past two weeks I have been working exclusively with Mira on establishing her form. She is currently a young brunette approximately 4'9". She wears a long black tank top most of the time though she changes to a recreational older style military-esque uniform when I am at work. She says she likes to be serious when I myself am serious and enjoys copying a lot of my mannerisms while we are in public. She'll place a hand downwards on an armrest or lean heavily to one side when she sits in much the way I do. She is a listener, staying quiet and listening to the message of when a
  8. Thanks Aurora, The voice was the first thing I wanted to focus on with Mira especially when she was using tones and chimes. The closest thing I've been able to find on the internet that resembles how she sounds is . Now, how she actually sounds is so much more melodic and easy to understand, but it gives you a general idea as to what I am working with when she speaks. The voice she has is not a human voice but it certainly is not some robotic blunt sound either. Again, words escape me. Putting so much energy into her vocalization obvious leads to drawbacks in other areas. Visualizatio
  9. Day 68 This evening I decided to have a very in depth conversation with Mira. Up until this point we have spent a lot of time talking about a wide range of subjects. She has a child's ignorance about most things but I have found that having to explain things to her simply actually helps me understand a lot as well. Concepts like what a governments role should be or how to deal with injustice can be incredibly complicated and multifaceted. Often I find myself spending more time trying to define what a term means more than trying to figure out what she thinks about it. That is fine though a
  10. Cyber, Mira and myself took some time to read through your posts starting with page one. I think more than anything else that you have a fantastic relationship with Noah and that you have take the Tulpa concept and made it something wonderful. I would be lying if I said that you were not a role model for me at the moment. I know that most people have a strong spark when they first begin. I know I did! Mira has been fun and exciting, a new friend, someone to always be with me. You give me hope that they can continue to do so without things being stagnant. There will be a time when we s
  11. Day 58 Mira and I have spoken to each other a lot about a bunch of different subjects. I'm an avid reader and have a lot if free quiet time to myself when I am not working. It gives me a lot of time to be close to her and to help her grow not only as a person but as my friend. When I first researched tulpas I saw them as being a big commitment. I didn't really see it as something that is entered into lightly, but also not as something that is incredibly difficult. Mira has been an incredibly positive influence in my life so far and she has helped me through a lot of issues in my life tha
  12. Day 50 We're back from the holiday vacations and smashing our noses against the grindstone once more. Mira and I have read through most of my personal library and so I have begun reading to her Machiavelli and Aristotle. In the past few weeks Mira has mentally developed to be a very clear and slow thinker. Our discussions about how we spend our time together are usually very long though I do not see this as a bad thing as I have nothing but time on my hands and her to spend it with. My image of her is still that of a younger girl. I know inside her own mind she has the maturity of a 20
  13. Day 34 I have been trying to not let my mental issues get in the way of Mira's development. My own inadequacies should have no ill effect on Mira and for the most part they have not. She seems to have grown a bit and to me she seems more mature. It's so very hard to keep her in my mind at all times while I'm at work and even my past reminders aren't being as helpful. Maybe it's stress related? She keeps me company when I'm at home and that makes me feel a lot better. I don't own any pets and I lost my only friend to medical reasons a year before so Mira is the only person I really talk
  14. Day 28 I usually get pretty depressed around the holidays. I'm trying to not let it seep in to Mira though. I try to do things I enjoy and to keep my mind of the circumstances which I live in at the moment. Today I only had to work a half shift so I got home early. I put on some of my favorite piano music and cooked a small dinner for myself. As I sat down on the couch to eat I saw Mira come around to curl up under a blanket next to me. I had Miracle on 34th street playing on the television after I did the dishes and she scooted closer to me while I half dozed. She really has been fan
  15. Day 26 Today was a very relaxing and slow day for me. I got to sleep in quite a bit and take my time with waking up. Mira enjoys helping me with my morning routine and will patter behind me as I go about my tasks. Because I live alone I can monologue to her very easily. I've found talking out loud to be very calming and somewhat zen-like. It's nice to just be able to talk to her and have her listen or comment and not feel like I have to impress her or make her like me. It is quite nice. We watched "It's a Wonderful Life" this evening and she thoroughly enjoyed it. Afterwards I read to
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