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About AvengedSevenfold

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  1. Hello everyone. I wanted to make a brief post so that everyone knows that we're still alive. During the summer, our lives basically became all work and we didn't bother to think about posting here, so that's why it's been awhile. Now that school has started, I've been given more time to think about things, and I remembered this. One of the things I should mention was my suicide attempt. Basically, I took a punch of pills, hallucinated flashing lights and a lady in a white dress watching me, and puked my guts out. All in all, it was terrifying, which was actually a relief. You see, I had built up this wall of numbness that prevented me from feeling anything, so even feeling something as simple as fear was amazing. I'm a little better now, although I think I may be going downhill again from the way I've been feeling. Anywho, I don't know how much I'll be around, but I wanted to make this update. I will probably start updating again, depending on how I'm feeling and how busy I am.
  2. I figured I should write this post, if only to let everyone know I'm still here. Alive, but not really living. The others are fine. They've adjusted to the new wonderland just fine and they are happy with their lives. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I need a purpose. Right now, I'm just wandering pointlessly. I'm supposed to be humorous, but the humor has left my life.
  3. You'll have to excuse me if this post seems...difficult or odd. I'm trying my best to write this, but I am hardly in the greatest state. Artemis and I talked. She was in such pain that I finally realized something. It was unfair of me to try to keep her around. She suffered so much and I was selfishly trying to keep her for myself. Her existence was really not one worth living. I think I finally understand that. Artemis isn't around anymore. She's gone. Faded. However you want to think of it. Enough time has passed for me to gain a certain perspective, and I know I did right by her by letting her go. Although I can't explain how much I miss her, I know that she is no longer in pain. To tell the truth, it's also helped me find a certain peace as well. It hurt me to see her suffer like that, and it's a relief to know she doesn't hurt anymore. I can't use words to explain how much I miss her, though. The world just doesn't seem nearly as bright or fun now, although maybe I'm just not as naive anymore. I don't know, but I miss her... Nothing is much fun anymore. I don't talk as much. I can't make jokes anymore because I can't find a reason to laugh or make others laugh. Of course the others have taken note of how quiet I've been. They can't really cheer me up, but they've talked to me and kept me company. It's not that I feel...like she did, but I just feel hollow. I've noticed that my mood is gradually improving, and I've come to terms with her being gone, but things just won't be the same. I'm sad, I suppose. Just feel like something is missing, which I suppose is true. Something is missing, and nothing can ever replace that. It doesn't matter if no one reads this or if everyone reads this. I just wanted to finally write something down about it. I suppose I hope that it will make me feel better. It really hasn't.
  4. Funny how I've started to write this thread like Artemis is the tulpa instead of me. I guess since I'm the one writing that I get to choose the point of view, eh? Well, I would hate to write about myself anyways; it seems rather vain, and despite all of my teasing, I am actually not too prideful. It's just interesting to think about, I guess. The others have started living their own lives, so you'll hear even less about them than before. That's just the way it goes, and we're not upset. We want them to make their own choices and be happy. Of course, we can talk to them and see them when we want, but we won't be seeing them regularly anymore. Artemis had another episode yesterday, the first one in months. In case we've never bothered to tell about them (which I don't think we have), she has these moments where she feels that she is being mentally torn. I've been told that it feels similar to how she felt when she was first created: incredibly confusing and painful. During the first week or so of her existence, she would experience those about maybe once per day. She was frightened because it seemed to come on for no reason. She's scared that they'll start up again, but I think that it was just one of those fluke things. I'm sure that they'll go away for good given enough time. I've found possession to be exceedingly easy now. I must ask, though, is it normal for a tulpa to be able to resist when the host tries to control again? I mean, if I absolutely had to, I could force the body to do anything I wanted against her will. I wouldn't do that unless I had a good reason, but it seems a bit unusual, I guess. Then again, we're an unusual bunch, aren't we?
  5. After considerable thought, we've decided to follow through with an experiment. We have added on a diverse world full of "people" to our Wonderland. We split it into five main countries, whose names are rather self-explanatory: the North, which is cold and mountainous the East, which is a mix of jungle and swamp the West, which contains cliffs and hills the South, which is dry, sandy, and hot the Center, which is a flat, plains-like area There are various cities, villages, and outposts around the world, as we've observed. These "people" who inhabit it seem to follow routines and traditions that have come about on their own, which is definitely interesting. The hope is that this will help Artemis become more involved in the Wonderland and help us switch. Well, that's the idea. Plus, it's fun to see what happens. The others decided to move, so now we're all spread out around our World. Sem and Kat moved to the East, and Liam and Auri moved to the South, while Artemis and I hang around the oldest part of Wonderland that is in the Center. Fortunately, Artemis has been in a good mood lately, which in turn has let us start to make more progress on switching and possession, since her thoughts are no longer preoccupied.
  6. It's ok, ladies. You're all winners as long as Renny is here ;)
  7. Well, I have testicles of vibranium, so I obviously win.
  8. I've researched myself enough (if you know what I mean).
  9. Granted. You can freeze time, but not unfreeze it. I wish that Vespera wasn't such a bit--I mean...bitter. I wish Ves wasn't so bitter.
  10. Yes, we do. Oh wait, that's not time... ;)
  11. We'd be down to experiment with this. We've actually thought about this before. If anything comes of it, we'll let you know.
  12. My first words were "It's ok." I remember that. Artemis was apologizing for not being able to narrate to me all the time. Well, yeah.
  13. It seems that our early work with emotions has actually had some use. Artemis has found that, in Wonderland, she can make a drug to simulate the aftereffects of the emotional overload; that is, she can make herself become emotionally numb. Although it may seem weird that it is purely imaginary, the effects are all of the mind, so its effects are actually quite real and last up to 24 hours. She has promised to avoid using it in fear that it isn't healthy for her emotional well-being in the long run. After all, running from your feelings is a temporary solution and they come back even worse. Also, last night, I went into her subconscious and affected her ability to remember who she was (with her permission, of course). We found that she had difficulty forming complete thoughts on her own and she couldn't recall any detailed memories, although she had vague ideas of where she came from and how she got to where she was. However, she knew exactly who I was, and trusted me to tell her who she was. This was our goal, and I took the time to boost her self-confidence. I told her about her strengths, how beautiful she was, and how strong she was as an individual. I should add that I had to control the body while she was in that state. Today, she can hardly remember what happened last night. She does seem extremely tired, though. I am not completely sure if it was useful at all, but I hope it has some effect on how she views herself. I still am unable to possess for a whole day. I try but I tire out. Sure, I can do the better part of the day, but doing a full, complete day still escapes me.