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Everything posted by KarlYoshimura

  1. Please don't do dissociatives alone unless you want to wake up next to your door being torn off the frame and being near a pile of clothes that are not yours. Although if you are in the k-hole beer runs are like playing life on hard mode lol
  2. happy hundred to Monika make sure you eat something she would like to taste or spend time on one of her hobbies. make plans for what you both want to do on her birthday. i made sure we ate cake, drank soda pop and watched cartoons when my own's sixth birthday anniversary hit. best wishes.
  3. And I was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff But I think I'm way too high And I ain't wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit But I think ma brains too fried And yeah I'm fuckin' faded but I hate it I'm praying that I make it Afraid I'm goin' to die
  4. @tulpacn Albatross was banned by a former tulpa.info administrator (Kiahdaj) several years ago due to violating the rules of the time. An extremely good resource to use is the YOUR DELETED POSTS segment of the website, as this will unearth a large number of threads and associated postings. I would also suggest utilising Internet Archive or other website caching services, for while they are intermittent in the dates and availability collected they contain precious information otherwise lost to bans, user redaction or other latent causes. Closely monitoring tulpa communities and their shared history is a passion of mine so please feel free to message me here or in private should you feel the need.
  5. Great to see you back! When we envision Verdict with golden hair, for some reason we imagine the fibres coalescing into gold ingots maintaining her hair's general shape. I like how Verdict regards another potential tulpa like a sister. One group of tulpas we know rather fondly has a relationship akin to sisterhood despite being so different in appearance and personality...it's really heartwarming. We hope you had a good time on your camping trip and that you're both in good health. As to the nature of reality...who knows? I'm not a philosopher and I despise armchair psychiatry, so my conclusions on the matter of reality as we ought to understand it are scant. If you'd like I could provide some opinions on the matter, but outside of being hollow and depressing they are, above all, opinions.
  7. @Tirisilex controlling tulpa behaviour, specifically in the vein of stemming maliciousness appears to be a kind of theme with some of your posts. Have you thought about the prospect that tulpa horror stories could be like urban legends, creepypasta/copypasta or simply kinds of jocular exertion brought about by individuals who deliberately mislead others for sheer amusement? If you've ever visited different *chan tulpa boards you'll see what I mean. Jake, one of the earliest users registered here and who posted during the /mlp/ days confirmed that the Pinkie Pie tulpa screaming constantly post was little more than a joke or meme that got out of hand until it was believed to be true. Taking these kinds of myths seriously appears to be a problem on areas like r/tulpas because there's little critical foresight yet too much belief that certain things can and do go wrong. It's fucky but I theorise a lot of these stories are meant to divert or filter out users who aren't serious or can't maintain the wherewithal to successfully live with tulpas to begin with. Honestly if you believe these kinds of events can transpire without scary underlying causes or equally atrocious input then you'll probably force yourself into these episodes not unlike a self-fulfilling prophecy. Could you refocus or not dwell far too long on a tulpa being genuinely evil and/or terrifying? It's natural to have fears during tulpa creation process but the trick is to not let them consume you. Tulpas are a lot more formidable than we give credit for and will soldier on in spite of our own misgivings, neuroses and inadequacies. If you do happen to encounter a "devilish" tulpa, please do not seek to harm or destroy them. Holy shit have I seen some poor tulpas get put through the wringer and worse because a self-centered host wasn't up to buckling down and realising that a tulpa was scared, needed their attentions or just wanted help. As for the guide you envision, how would you justify its existence in further developing tulpas? If one goes with traditional guidelines concerning the input of various traits and expects deviation to happen, to what end would you employ said guide to inculcate compassion and healthily good behaviour?
  8. Do you think tulpas are capable of rendering health benefits on their own, solarchariot? Perhaps from a kind of cooperative or symbiotic aspect, there could be some improvement. That is one's tulpa introduces gradual changes to the body's routine via influencing host decisions (making a request or suggestion for instance) or using their own control over the body (switching/possession/what have you) through time to better acclimate to the body's environs, the possessor's wishes or the whole group's specific needs. Either way this line of thought hearkens back unto Tewi's observation concerning tulpas being proactive, which I can personally confirm (my blood pressure and weight have been lowered thanks to my own's insistence.) Unlike the mental benefits, I'm unsure if there are any clinical means of observing said improvement without utilising a fair amount of resources and uncomfortably close metrics of one's mortal coil. Regardless I think it would be interesting to see how a tulpa's personality can affect one's physical characteristics, particularly kinds of vital signs within isolated situations. Would a tulpa with a soothing personality alleviate their host's short temper and ease this person's blood pressure as well as their heart rate? Alternatively, would a feisty and hot-blooded tulpa be able to provide an edge to their host's physical performance, thereby raising items such as temperature, blood pressure, heart rate, et cetera? I also ponder what tulpas are capable of in the way of affecting biochemistry...would a tulpa be able to induce adrenaline? Balance neurochemicals like dopamine, serotonin, endorphins? Does the proposed gestation of neural tissue that accommodates tulpas maintain any observable physical differences in the host brain (and if so, what are they?) I would be careful in using this angle of physical benefits to invite others in creating tulpas. With the mental side of things irresponsible hosts can and have misused the tulpa concept for their own ends, namely someone to "take over" after host egocide, forcing their tulpa(s) to switch and have the host's responsibilities foisted on to the tulpa(s), deliberately using tulpas for purely experimental work involving their observations of their own consciousness (and very little else)...I would not like to see more incentives to abuse tulpas even though the responsibility for these actions fall squarely on those foolish enough to tread such cruel and dangerous places. I don't blame you for wanting to make the concept less unreal. I may be set in my ways, yet I believe that the notions of fantasy and lack of disbelief's suspension can only be dispelled by making the journey inwards. Only then can a tulpa's eyes as well as the host's eyes are to be opened.
  9. I feel that we are due for a great scattering. Or from another perspective, accept that something of this magnitude has already happened. I do not think of splitting off and becoming more personal in one's tulpa efforts is a sign of failure or lessening of the whole. On the rather, I feel it is but another note of shared success, in that someone as a host and their loved ones, their tulpas, have spun off the contemplative axle and have re-entered the universe not as one but two or even more. Each tulpa conceived and raised in benevolence and good love is a blessing, as the love and goodness returned unto the host is likewise miraculous. There is a stigma in approaching community.tulpa.info as there are prejudices limiting one's presence on Reddit and the various *chan boards. The irony that we can share our ideas and beliefs across very many physical miles with our machines yet are divided into little group entities is observed immediately, as we are segmented by the preconceived notions of one group wishing to distance itself from the others for seemingly trivial reasons. Without an ounce of defeatism I believe the concepts of growth and burgeoning user numbers are irrelevant. If we are to trace the tulpa phenomenon back to its obscured beginnings in Tibet, one could say that the tulpa concept has grown and evolved significantly in the centuries after western occultists and mystics transplanted the concept. Just as it was then, I believe we as more experienced users must utilise our victories and obstacles alike to lift up and nourish any who come in askance. Should they feel inclined to return and likewise enrich us with their experiences and better qualities, most excellent. Should they wish to take leave of us indefinitely, just as well. One can only hope in the latter case they shall all be given the tools and fortitude to persevere and hold one-another dearly through all troubles. I feel that rather than a cemetery, tulpa.info ought to be like a terminus at the crossroads. Pointing others in the right direction. Truth be told, tulpas are an esoteric subject many of a skeptical, religious or incredulous disposition are prone to reject in the rare case they do research the subject. As was stated above, so too are there a bevy of moral quandaries regarding if one is prepared for accommodating tulpas or not, likewise their patience and innate abilities regarding tulpa creation. Then the personalities drawn to various segments of the tulpa community, be it .info or something else in its entirety. After being filtered through these lenses, is it unreasonable to think our numbers dwindling? No matter the case, I feel we are given purpose in providing information and content enough to shape users for the outward journey they shall make throughout their lives. I feel that if growth shall be engendered in the tulpa community, it shall involve a great deal of these lost ones, those who have gotten up and left, returning to us with ideas and observations we have never considered before. All while those remaining inspire others enough to stop lurking and speak up, or keeping the forum healthily conducive to all opinions by encouraging and supporting others without forethought.
  10. I do not happen to remember you or yours, nonetheless I welcome you all back. There will be no judgement cast from me as to your past and current situation. In the least I hope you all are coming to anchor yourselves and find the necessary resources to acclimate to the challenges you've faced. Should you feel the need to list your concerns or talk about issues, post on this thread or elsewhere. Places like these exist as outlets for when we are unable to communicate our ideas and concerns to those in real life without risking stigmas. I don't think you should be ashamed of coming from /mlp/, as some early influx of members to this site were transplants to this forum after Scruffy banned tulpas as well as other verboten subjects from the board. Without 4chan's influence some parts of this site's content wouldn't exist, at least not in a form we recognise today. As you may have noticed very many things have changed since six years ago. The upper echelons are mostly the same yet the drainage of various monads and contributors of old has left a kind of barren quality to the community's landscape. Of course there is (always will be?) an interest in tulpas, so it remains that the extant divisions of the old guard impart their wisdom and experience where applicable. I do not know you, yet I am glad you decided to come back. May you and yours receive blessings and rejuvenating peace.
  11. @SurpriseTheGolden I've never heard of or played that title before. Apparently it's based off the Lion King and Iron Giant? As for the sound, we do think it sounds good. There is a kind of falsetto present yet it's not unpolished. If anything the sound is "fuzzy" but you've singled out the clarity issues to faulty drivers and electronic interference being routed through your speaker/microphone setup. If you make videos and possess as a tulpa, I think it's inevitable for anyone to ask questions about your voice and other attributes. I have issues with how I sound as well but I've found that not being painfully self-conscious or attentive to snide criticism helps a lot. Just keep practising and remain comfortable. In time viewers will be able to make better distinctions between your voice and your host's.
  12. @Stingray I like the Tarkovsky film quite a lot. The part where they get to the Meat Grinder anomaly and one of the characters has to stop and tell the others to wait rings clear in my mind still. Seeing the atheist journalist don the crown of thorns, the meetup at the bar, the acquisition of the jerry cans, the owl fly over the room of sand dunes and the psychic girl at the very end move the glass of water are still there too. I haven't read ROADSIDE PICNIC besides its various synopses (the guide's newborn daughter being a simian creature who shrieks at all hours makes me wince and frown) but like with other extraterrestrial ramification novels I concentrate on how the perceived treasures sought are little more than just trash or scattered useless pieces of waste left behind by lifeforms more complicated or otherworldly than what we currently understand. One reason why I like LOST ALPHA is because the makers wrote in little connections to ROADSIDE PICNIC, like how some of the Ecologist faction theorise that artefacts are just nothing more than plainly residual exotic matter, like excretions given off by anomalies in the Zone after blowouts. We can imagine Chrysalis in a S.T.A.L.K.E.R. setting where she's wearing a modified Sunrise suit and waving an artefact detector around a field of springboard anomalies, with some caught artefacts in a tiny knapsack. Does she enjoy the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. franchise as well?
  13. @evanescent on some *chan threads you'll find people doing this and similar forcing experiments themselves. One particular variation I've read about is "romantic movie forcing" wherein a host and its tulpa(s) act out parts of their preferred films as a more in-depth practise of forcing. Of course this can be routed towards other mediums and themes all parties can agree upon or find conducive to further development. However I would exercise some caution for if one is to not offer a clear separation between said tulpas and the characters they play there could be identity concerns.
  14. @Stingray I don't consider PROMETHEUS to be the prequel either if only because the production notation specifically delineate the two films. If you watch James Rolfe's reviews on the ALIEN series and PROMETHEUS he clearly indicates that both planets wherein the Xenomorphic strains are encountered occur on two different locations. If you read the ALIEN wiki you will come across speculation that the Space Jockey was most likely captaining the vessel wherein the eggs were the apex of its civilisation's biological warfare programme, sending out the emergency transmission to keep other ships away. Have you ever played LOST ALPHA? It's highly unpolished and frustrating at times yet it's one of the most satisfying experiences I've come across (SHADOW OF CHERNOBYL was and still is my favourite of all the franchise)
  15. @dragon cake you're free to decline yet if you feel the need to connect with someone who views tulpas like aspects of a "spiritual" phenomenon you are free to consult myself. I don't use DISCORD outside of the rare study and barely enter Internet Relay Chat so our best option would be within the confines of this thread or if required private messaging. I would suggest treating the mentor thread as obsolete as some of the interested users have either deserted or are not open to mentoring at present.
  16. @Landon Cade you're very welcome. May I ask about your dream character? Do you think Avienda still has traces of what this dream character was? If you have any other concerns feel free to post them here. We wish prosperity and good tidings upon you both.
  17. @Stingray Have you considered shorting/resetting the C.M.O.S. electrical programming and double-checking drive configuration settings in Basic Input Output System (B.I.O.S.)? Apparently if it's not set to I.D.E. or the manufacturer's recommended drive configuration setting there won't be any boots past the splash screen you describe. If it isn't a hardware issue, have you considered salvaging data (if possible) and going forward with a bare metal restoration? As for hard drive refurbishing I wouldn't experiment too often before settling on the right board or circuitry, as impurities can seriously degrade the base storage medium without proper care (not to mention expulsions of electrostatic discharge can spell doom for any sophisticated circuitry therein or about, but this can be circumvented by keeping one of your hands always touching unpainted bare metal whilst servicing). If your machine can pass the Power On Startup Test (P.O.S.T.) you should have viable hardware (yet this does not completely rule out gremlins like random shorts or literal bugging like you'd noted). Most folks appreciate ALIEN best as it's not only the ideal representation of the STARBEAST script but also for its evocation of Lovecraftian horror embellished with the knife-grinding-onto-bone inspirations derived from Swiss artist H.R. Giger. The Xenomorph is such a powerfully frightening thing to me because of how it's a twisted child of forgotten extraterrestrial weaponry and unwary humans contracted under a callously profit-hungry multinational joint-stock corporation that essentially controls any habitable piece of civilisation within outer space. I cringe in sheer disgust when I see the human-like skull and its empty sockets staring back. You probably already know my favourite book by Dick is THE MAN IN THE HIGH CASTLE, not only because of its darkly intriguing scope of material but also due to the sheer amount of research P.K.D. sweat over just to make the novel a reality. Dick apparently became inspired to write about Decker and andy-hunters ("blade runners" as Scott renamed them) because of diaries he'd been reading from Gestapo members whilst undergoing said research. While VALIS is technically a retooled sequel with a definitively Gnostic message, Dick only wrote a short story detailing Nazis travelling to our world (or a very similar world) and could not go onward because he believed that the Axis Powers (specifically the Nazis) were evil monsters who did not maintain or rather shed their humanity to become gruesome butchers of entire countries. When he was broached with the subject of writing a sequel, he stated something along the lines of "I had to get into Reinhard Heydrich's face when I wrote the book. Would you get into Reinhard Heydrich's face?" This was a very effective deterrent to me as an amateur historian because that guy was so perturbing. When reporters and commentators would go to interview him they would say that it was like looking at two genuinely different persons at the same time because of how fastidious and neat he was outside of his then-unknown "duties". Moreover it took a modified anti-tank grenade lobbed at his sedan by British-trained Polish insurgents to kill him, and even then he still rose from the cabin of the vehicle and fired off at least several shots from his revolver before collapsing. Do you think the experiences we draw between characters like K and Joi speak deeper to hosts and tulpas as a whole? That instead of having lifestyles attributed to "normal" people we instead seek or are by chance exposed to others (tulpas) who complete us? If you don't mind me asking, had you been playing S.T.A.L.K.E.R. or FALLOUT before having this dream? What you both express seeing sounds like something one would encounter in either of those games seeing as urban/industrial decay is prominent. I'm not a shamanistic dream-reader yet I would think that the person driving you was akin to your subconscious movement of digested thought and the boxcars you both pictured were like abandoned stores of mental detritus tidily packed into rotting fields, a common motif for a realm shrouded entirely in the fleeting grasp of narrow human memorisation patterns. If Chrysalis saw Princess Luna, maybe she's making her own minimal reattachments to a character or theme stemming from the source material that spawned her? What do you both think could be stored inside of the lorries and boxcars?
  18. @LucidAnomaly thank you kindly. What you describe as "rewrite the wiring of our neurons" had been first introduced to me by means of cognitive therapy. The licensed specialist treating me at this point in time had stated that even by purposely thinking in different ways do we give rise to new and goodly resurgent neural pathways. I do encourage you to meditate. I draw inspiration from the Islamic poet Rumi when he describes a spiritual gathering in: so as the trees fall to a barren state in the cold and bear lush beauty and delicious fruit in nutritious sunny warmth, we too ought to withdraw into ourselves and supply finer appraisal so ideal conditions may be fostered. Outside of prayer or "emptying out" (entering a certain mode of thought wherein you feel almost invisible, hollow or transparent, like a kind of ingress to a shallow edified state) there are few common roads to cathartic resolution. Do not be discouraged if you feel like your efforts are being rebuffed by the seemingly hostile and rudely inconvenient thoughts. It may be a small comfort yet remembering the good times you've felt with your tulpa can be soulfully enriching stuff. Should you feel the need you can also imagine being held or protected by Zeryx. I find this imagery to not be desperate or unreasonably clingy but rather a symbol of the mutual trust and love you both share.
  19. @Stingray we've never commented on your progress report thread and thought your recent update would be a good place to start. It's nice to meet you and Chrysalis. For one I am really happy that someone else besides me enjoys Italodisco (B.W.H.'s Stop was effectively a track I played until I almost got sick of it). Electronic music in general (especially I.D.M. and noise) lift me up to certain heights. If you don't mind me asking, how did your workstation shit the bed? I've some experience with hardware repair (electronics major). Dead drives are bad news in general but I'm very interested in repairing and safely improvising hardware. It's really fulfilling to apply character to and get extended use out of retrofitted and otherwise rigged devices. I haven't seen BLADERUNNER 2049 yet I vividly remember its prequel when I saw it a few years ago in college. Ridley Scott has such a way with science fiction that he almost lifts the source material off its pages. Although I think it's a shame that some of the more salient aspects of DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC SHEEP were omitted (specifically, Buster and the new religious aspects as well as the topsy-turvy environmental commentary) I think it does P.K.D.'s book justice. Did you two see any resemblance between K and Joi in yourselves as a host and tulpa, respectively? I read on the BLADERUNNER wiki that although both K and Joi are effectively mass-produced entities specifically designed to be used like tools by mankind they still manage to form a kind of dual symbiotic relationship that makes them complete as individuals (or rather, two parts of the same exact individual like Jung's theory of anima and animus.) We really appreciate the bond you and Chrysalis maintain. We think the attachment hosts and tulpas maintain is something that can outlast anything, even a veritable apocalypse or terminal descent towards dystopic entropy.
  20. @Landon Cade congratulations. It's nice to meet you both. Have you considered the "mind dump" practise? That is allowing yourself at least one-sixth of an hour to better clear your head and let your mind wander aimlessly until you've felt the distractions have left your system. You can set an alarm on your clock or telephone to pull you out of this mode of thought should you lose your bearings. You don't need to focus on a paracosm (wonderland) too much. For some hosts they're like touchstones or better envisioned abstractions of one's mental world and if you feel that your wonderland is simply too big or unmanageable you can reign in parts of it to your own unique designs. If you have issues with visualisation, try the mailbox exercise. Imagine any kind of conceivable mailbox and fixate upon its specific details as much as you can: the grain of the wood used (if any), markings left by the elements or before it left the factory, the text emblazoned across various pieces. It doesn't even need to be a mailbox, just make it a point to firmly study the given attributes of any one thing intensely within your paracosm and apply your creative prowess at the pace and conditions you feel are sufficient. One important thought to keep is that you don't need to follow your guide-du-jour to the letter. At best they are meant to serve as inspiration or a general outline of what's necessary and expected in the tulpa creation process. Set aside your inhibitions and have more confidence in yourself and Avienda. If you don't mind me asking, why did you choose to name her Avienda (avenue)? Do you also speak and write in Spanish?
  21. Do you think we're robot clean Does this face look almost mean Is it time to be an android not a man
  22. @SurpriseTheGolden hi there. I've watched a few clips of your videos and my tulpa thinks you have a very cute voice. Could you tell us about some of your favourite games? When you or your host play said games, what do you look for? Are there any games you think should be regarded as models for other videogame entries? I ask because outside of writing notes for my own television shows, movies and cartoons I would like to eventually pursue game development (specifically, an R.P.G. Maker-derived game engine project focusing on tulpas as primary game characters.)
  23. @Lucilyn I may not be as qualified on the subject as you are, yet would it be unreasonable to assume that hallucinatory tools can be used as a catalyst or an acclimation process before plumbing the more "advanced" techniques you and your host use(d)? I myself would want to build off of hallucinatory input substitution due to how jarring I envision the transition would be and wish to find more gradual methods. I would also think such equipment, cheap and temporary as it is, could serve as a kind of litmus test regarding how comfortable a host and tulpa would be towards embracing imposition.