Hello there everyone.
I just recently started to seriously read about tulpas, altough i have been aware of their existence for quite some time. In this thread, i will write about everything MAJOR thing that happens to me, or rather us. It's not a day-to-day diary, i don't think that 90% of the things i write would be of any importance if it was. I apologise in advance for any spelling or grammatical mistakes and for the times my tought process is hard to follow: i'm not a native speaker (I'm hungarian) and my language differs greatly from English. That being said, it shouldn't be a problem, because i'm an English major at college... but enough rambling, let's start now shall we?
First thing's first: i found myself referring to him as (guess what) "him", altough as stated below, i don't want to decide "his" gender yet. I do this, because
1. I can't call him an "it" since he is (well, going to be) a sentient being
2. In my language, we have the singular form of "them", but no separate he/she, just "that person" if you will. There is no equivalent of this in the English language, and i'm somehow more comfortable with he than she. Just deal with it.
I actually don't really want to decide ANYTHING about him, at least nothing really specific yet. It would be really great for him, if he could choose his form, voice, and develop his own personality. My problem with this, is that I (unwillingly) imagine him in one particular form over and over again: a black dragon, as big as a dog, with smooth, really dark black skin (no scales, or maybe they're just too small for me to notice). His appearance would be considered scary, NOT a "how to train your dragon" type of thing. Obviously I wouldn't be scared of him, in fact, one of his already existing traits is that his presence would calm and reassure me, like he was protecting me (altough i know that's not possible, not physically anyway).
I don't even have a name yet, I just call him "Tulpa" since that's the only sure thing i know about him.
My question is: I do have a kind of "draft" of him already, altough i think it would benefit him and our relationship if i let him develop from scratch. What do you guys advise me to do?