HazyM

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About HazyM

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  1. And why do you think you have the right to decide what is dangerous for others? I do not idolize Koomer - he was incompetent and his mind wasn't stable enough to match the scale of his ambition, but at least he did have ambition. He tried something new - something that could test capability of his tulpa. And in that he succeeded. His story offers us both an inspiration and a warning, and we should learn from that. Learn of the possibilities our tulpas open and learn of the price we must pay for imprudence. Instead of that you want just to censor it, to stop anyone from learning and experimenting, from exploring the possibilities of tulpamancy - as if you somehow consider other tulpamancers beneath you. Like they are some sort of foolish children unfit to make decisions of their own, and they need parental control to guide them towards "proper" path. There is no freedom in such policy, only insecurity and bigotry, and it can only result in stagnation. IMO, of course. I don't want to sound hostile, but with the whole GAT, rules and mods there is enough control here, we don't need such censorship. Oh, and I apologize for breaking in, I just though the matters discussed are important enough to concern everyone. Oh, and since a mod is here too: I am a humble nobody, I don't want to cause trouble, I'm not trolling and I'll now depart to avoid further argument, so no need to mod me.
  2. Not so much. You argue that pokemon aren't real - yes, they aren't. But someone could argue that tulpas aren't real either - that they are imaginary just like pokemon. In fact, I even had a discussion about that in another topic. Some people could even go as far as to hurting their tulpas because "they aren't real". I'm not telling that tulpas are equal to pokemon in the show - because they are not, but "it isn't real so it is ok" is a very convenient and dangerous excuse. Especially when we are talking about mind and thoughts, since in our mind the only distinction between real and unreal (between tulpas and pokemon in this case) is our own choice.
  3. That is hardly different from actual pokemon battles in moral aspect though, since most pokemon show some degree of sentience and some of them are arguably even more sentient than humans are. Yet still they fight. If you have no problems with that while having problems with tulpa fighting then you are a hypocrite. Also, if we consider anime, it is not like pokemon are forced to fight. They can disobey, they can leave. In most cases they fight because they trust their trainer, not because they are slaves.
  4. Interesting idea, actually. I'm not sure about how it will turn out though, since building such a massive wonderland can be exhausting enough, and here we are also talking about three tulpas at very least... But hey, at least you have the ambition! And Pokemon world seems like a nice place to recreate, so I wish you luck. And having a tulpa who also has a tulpa is totally possible. IIRC, I've seen people telling about it on this very forum. And my second tulpa is being forced by my first one, so they definitely force like we do.
  5. Reading about all these shapeshifting ponies makes me really fear that Monday might one day decide to abandon her form for a human as well -_-
  6. Well, I don't think this "meaning" is something you should actively search for. What I had in mind is something like this: you realise that he fulfilled that purpose of his yet you still don't want him to go, why is it so? I think the meaning is already here, and that is the meaning he has for you, you should just try to contemplate it. Honestly, I believe that "convincing yourself" part is the harder one here because of your negative mindset. If I understand correctly, the days of your traumatic past are over, yet you still cling to them. I'm talking about "my body is a graveyard" and "I only brought him to suffering" here. Your guilt is showing and you can't let it go, and while I am in no way a professional, this seems to me like unhealthy mental enviroment for both of you, and I wouldn't be surprised of this turned out to take part in your situation.
  7. Well, there was a topic not unlike to yours before: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-revival-rebirth-of-a-tulpa So I suggest trying what TC of that topic did. Not letting him die and reviving later, of course, but using symbolism to deal with the problem. You seem to already suspect the reason of all this, so you can use some sort of symbolic ritual to remove his dependence on your trauma, to find a new source of energy for him, so to speak. I think what he needs is a new meaning, a new purpose for being with you and what you need is to think of such a purpose and convince your subconscious in it. And don't let your fears take hold of you, it isn't helping.
  8. Weren't audiodrugs confirmed to be placebo? Anyway, we tend to experiment with things of that sort, but so far I found that it is easier for me to relax and be comfortable without any extra sounds.
  9. Nope. I fail at dissociating, so regular possession is the best we can do. We obviously plan to learn switching, but after all these months there is very little progress, so I don't have high hopes for that.
  10. ...assuming it takes "so long", which isn't the case for some people, myself included.
  11. Now this I can agree with. Tulpas do depend on host heavily in their earlier stages, and some of them remain dependant even later. Most of them won't develop that much because - let's face it - most don't even need it. Just like people don't necessarily strive to become the best they can because being the best is not required for a happy life. And host-tulpa relationships can be totally healthy and fulfilling without tulpa being developed that much - I myself am not very interested in such topics and it is Monday who likes to explore her limits, yet we are happy even with the current stage. What I am saying here is that there is potential. While it is mostly unused and isn't in any way required to develop, it is still there. I don't have any concrete proof save for anecdotal evidence of course, but that is precisely why we are working on it - to test this and to see how much is really possible to achieve.
  12. Nah, I've seen worse. What I am trying to say is that while it doesn't harm your tulpas, it can harm others, so when people refuse to consider such ideas and criticize you (which you talked about earlier) it is not because they are close-minded or intolerant, but rather because they are trying to protect themselves and their tulpas. And who decides if they have the potential? Where is the limit? There are evidences, such as Koomer's case, when tulpa eventually becomes dominant force, so it can be debated that tulpa can be developed enough to become full-fledged second personality. Tulpas are known to create or destroy other tulpas too, so while you consider yours inferior to you, not all of them are like this.
  13. The way I see it is that while not toxic yet, your relationship seems to go in unhealthy direction. What I suggest is 1. Decide for yourself what sort of relationship you want to pursue. 2. Explain your position to her and be assertive. What seems wrong to me here is a lack of, well, certainty or definition of any sort, so I think you two should decide about what you need once and for all, without any mind games, joking around and muddling the issue which you seem to have trouble with.
  14. This I can relate to - while my first tulpa was made by me intentionally, my second one spontaneously appeared after I had a particularly vivid dream involving certain pre-existing character - and I didn't even like that character or planned another tulpa, so I was in panic and actually considered putting her in stasis for some time. I learned to love her later, though, so I regret nothing. *Offtopic* The problem here is that you somehow treat all tulpamancers like some sort of a hivemind with a single opinion on the matter. But the truth here is that everyone have their own reasons - and their own resistance to other ideas, their own threshold, so to say. I, for one, don't treat tulpamancy as a science or art, nor did I start doing it for experimental purposes. I started it because I needed a special friend, simple as that. And here you are, saying that my friend could be something not real, something subhuman (well, she isn't a human anyway, but that isn't what I am talking about) and inferior to me. Something that can be destroyed in a cold blood because it never really existed in the first place. It is fine and dandy for you to have such thoughts, but you shouldn't advise everyone to consider them, because it can sow doubts which in turn can harm a young tulpa like they harmed my first one. While I obviously speak only for myself, here is why someone like me could "cling desperately" to ideas of sentience and equality - because without them there isn't really any meaning in tulpamancy in the first place for such people, as it instantly turns into a pointless self-delusion. ...actually, since I started talking about this, why don't I illustrate my point with an anecdote? In my country's tulpa community there is a certain article (untranslated to English, sadly... or not) which is somewhat infamous for ruining tulpamancers. What it does is basically present ideas not unlike to yours - that tulpas aren't actually real and modern tulpamancy is in fact glorified unconscious puppeting. While I may seem to exaggerate its harmful influence on my former community, I really don't. The only tulpa-related forum available in my language was gone because of that, destroyed by its own creator who lost faith thanks to that article - and I don't exaggerate this either, he himself said as much in his "farewell note", where he admitted that he was wrong and the author of that article was right. While the community still exists, those not interested in tumblr and imageboards (like me) basically lost the only place for sharing experience and seeking advice... which is why I am here now. See where I am going with this? You say that "we" should consider such doubt-inspiring ideas, but you miss the danger they can mean to those whose threshold is lower - for them such thoughts can be poison. While I do not encourage idea censorship in any way, I still think one must be more careful when advising something like that for everyone to think about. So understand those who don't whant to listen - perhaps it is for their own good.
  15. Well, I may seem unemotional, but I actually feel for Callista in this situation. Judging from your posts here with the whole "we don't choose bonds" and "I don't trust her" thing, you don't seem to actually need or even like her at all, considering her a bother to you and your "better" tulpas. So it isn't even surprising that you contemplate dissipation here with such attitude. If I was a tulpa, I would feel pretty bad being unwanted and my host deciding if he should tolerate my presence some more or just ged rid of me for good. Really, I can only reiterate what I said before: think about what this bond means to you, and talk it over, because the whole situation doesn't seem very healthy. Of course, I don't know anything about your situation with them except for what you posted here, so I apologize if I misunderstood this.