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halorser

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About halorser

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    Male
  • Location
    Fresno
  • Bio
    A weird guy who's dumb
  1. I've also had the same problem, having a few pictures of similar looking people (or ponies) and looking at them from time to time might help out with the problem. I personally made a folder and crammed images that kind of resembled what my tulpa would look like and occasionally sifted through them.
  2. Thanks Kiahdaj! I'm really happy that you and everyone else are always here to give me advice and help me with my doubts. Mushy shit aside, Tuesday, Feb 11, 2014 I haven't been forcing for a while, I usually just fall asleep when I try. I'm still narrating to Miyuki as much as I can (as much as I can remember). I've set shower time as designated narrating time and I try to visualize eating with her whenever I eat a meal (Although I sometimes forget... >.<) . Progress is slower, probably because I'm burned out with the first/second week(s) of tulpaforcing. Miyuki ha
  3. Hope everything goes well! Lying down might make you fall asleep after a bit, I have big problem with that.....
  4. Sat Feb 08, 2014 Not much in this update, did some taxes, fought with my mom, normal stuffs. Hmmm, to make this post more intresting....I'm going to write some icky self degrading s**t. I'm quite attracted to Miyuki. I get quite a bit of intrusive and dirty thoughts about her, which I feel really guilty for. I "gave" her a selfless and loving personality which makes me even more guilty about it... Blarghhh.......................I hate myself right now..
  5. 1. Is it possible for you to subconsciously force a tulpa to change her(/his/it's) personality? A bit of back-story for the 1st question: I gave my tulpa a nickname(?) due to pronunciation problems/aesthetic reasons (Gidellom to Miyuki). By coincidence, the name "Miyuki" is also a character in a light novel. It seems like she's picking up traits of that character from the novel and I'm worried that I'm subconsciously forcing her to become that character. 2. This isn't much of a question, but I'd like to hear your intake on this experience. When I was asking my tulpa a question (Not su
  6. Thursday, Feb 06, 2014 Hasn't been much progress, which, is to be expected I guess. Normal days, working at Sonic,falling asleep while forcing, narrating to her as much as I can, ect... Not entirely used to calling Gidellom by her new name, Miyuki, but it should be fine. She seems to be deviating quite a bit. When I first "developed her personality," she was cold (mentally and psychically), shy, honest, and collected. She seems more warmer, and seems more shy. I'm getting more images of her smiling or turning red like a cherry instead of looking stoic and calm. She seems less o
  7. My tulpa's name are Gidellom/Miyuki. I made the name "Gidellom" with the Hebrew alphabet. Her "real" name is GDLLM. We decided to rename her Miyuki though, as I think it's more fitting and is easier to say. Miyuki means "beautiful snow" in Japanese, which fits her quite well.
  8. I also had a similar nightmares. I dont think they are not nessarily tulpa related (I've had them before tulpamancing or lucid dreaming aswell). If it's a lucid dream, try to will the "bad" away (fighting, screaming at it, etc.....). The best thing to remember is, it's your dream, you have control over it.
  9. My tulpa, Miyuki (Gidellom) seems like she's trying to talk to me. I'm positive that she's trying to talk through head pressure, random emotions, and images or actions or facial expressions. I'm not entirely sure that she's talking to me with yes/no answers or random thoughts. I can't seem to decipher her thoughts from mine. Is there an exercise/method/anything to decipher her thoughts from mine or understand what she's trying to say or is it just something you need time with?
  10. Thursday, Jan 30, 2014 11:24 PM After writing my update, I lurked the forums, watched some videos and played some games until 12:00 PM. I did my best to talk to Gidellom and keep her on my mind while doing so... I lay down on my tatami mat to take a nap before I went to work, and as usual tried to force a bit before dozing off. I don't remember much of it, but I don't think I made much progress in that session... I woke up at 2:30 PM and relaxed in my bed for 15 minutes trying to wake up. I greeted Gidellom, and took a shower. I ate a bit of rice and kimchi chigae (A korean stew with
  11. Good luck! Hopefully everything works out in the end. Sorry for my poor choice of wording, that was the only words my small brain could think of...
  12. I think that you should accept "Servitor" as an actual companion. Screw her "wishes," don't you think it's better to have her live even if she (YOU) think disappearing is better? You can say that she wants to die, but no living thing actually WANTs to die, no matter what they think. Personally, I'm quite suicidal myself, but I DO want to live. I'm sorry, I don't really know how to word any of this.. EDIT: Even if there is even the SLIGHTEST chance of a happy ending, don't you think it's worth it to try instead of giving up like a little bitch?
  13. ha...ha...ha....I feel dirty....... I think she's quite warm and fuzzy in the inside =3 (YOUR SO KAWAII GIDELLOM!!! wait....stop...noo.......ARGHHHH)
  14. I decided to skip to present time due to reasons I cannot explain (better way to say I'm a lazy b*tch). Summary of what happened in this time frame: Lots of narration, lots of doubt, falling asleep while tulpaforcing, lurking and playing Dominions 4, forgetting to talk to Gidellom for long periods of time. Slowly succumbing to my doubt and halting my progress. I posted my doubts and worries on a thread, and you guys helped me get most of my doubts to disappear. Thanks everyone! Some where in that time frame, I tried some symbolism.I stood next to a mirror, I gave Gidellom a ring, a simp
  15. Thank you! I will definitely listen to you advice! I feel like I'm starting to climb that giant mountain after all the help you guys have given me.
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