Dutchy47

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About Dutchy47

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  1. Self Update Log: I've been struggling for months now to wrestle with the idea of Sera. Of the implications that her creation will have on the rest of my life. It's scary. It's what I think when I think about old video gamers. Case and point: There are none. So no-one knows what people like that end up as. Old smokers get lung cancer, old drinkers have... well other problems. There's no old people with Tulpa's. None that I know of. Relatively speaking, "Tulpamancy" is a relatively new concept within our society. (I mean supposedly Tibetan monks have been practicing it for years, but iv'e never met one to talk about it. Have you?) So noone knows of the potential risk of having another mind within your own. And that's for life. The brain is the most mysterious part of the human body, so who knows what could happen to it. I've also been debating the morality of it all. How is it fair? How is it fair on a tulpa, if they'll only ever be able to exist in someone elses head. An actor in someone elses play. Is it selfishnesh that drives us to create these Tulpa's? I can think of no other word for it. Love? No. Sure, we may love them when they are finished, but how can you initially love someone you've never met? It's desire that drives it. A desire to have an eternal friend, a desire to explore the human mind that little bit further. Desires all boil down to one thing. Selfishness. We desire something because we want it. And not many people think as deeply about Tulpa as they should. How can something that is born out of selfishness or desire ever be able to fully reach it's potential? It's things like these that keep me thinking. And they could keep me thinking for a long time, possibly even, my entire life. But on another note, there has to be something in me that wants Sera to develop. There has to be. I started researching this stuff two years ago, and then making Sera earlier this year. And i'm here, again. It's not a fad, trend or phase, otherwise, I would have moved on by now. So there must be Something in it... Sera update log: Nothing spectacular. Like I said, i've been having mixed emotions for quite a while now. I send her thoughts every so often, but none are met with a particularly exciting response. Until I get my head sorted, one way or the other, that's how she'll stay. Part of me thinks, that if she's not able to comprehend what would happen to her, I could just forget. It might be the humane thing to do. But what if she can already understand what's going on, and the turmoil i'm going through. Who knows. I guess I can't sit on the fence for too much longer. Anywho, hope my thoughts and my necro of my old thread proved enlightening or at the very least, entertaining.
  2. Hi there! Yeah, I spent alot of time thinking about what implications having a Tulpa might have, and I was of a mind that I wasn't going to make one. Then I got a massive perception shift when I went overseas travelling, kinda put things in perspective. Yeah, i've still got a decent amount of time before I can start fully recognizing her thoughts as her own. I in about two or so months since I first started. I think due to my lack of active it's going a bit slower, but i'm okay with that. I'm enjoying the process which is nice. If you don't mind me asking, how long ago did you start on this journey?
  3. Hey there folks. Well, I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Dutchy. More commonly referred to as Drew, but I will respond to either. A couple of months back, I finally decided upon creating a Tulpa. A decision which took me almost a year and half of deep reflection. I highly recommend any lurkers out there who are thinking of starting to maybe give the decision a bit more time to mull over, but that's just my personal opinion. If your wondering what you can expect from this progress report, it will contain some general thoughts in a blog-ish form, but also focusing more on development research and also further research once my tulpa is finished. She has agreed to be my "lab-partner" to help me open up the world of Tulpa's a little bit wider, if she wants. I'm interested in later pursuing some research into Ki (or thought energy) and it's relation and reaction with Tulpa's. If I'm sounding like one of those kids that is impersonal and dissects things like some autonomous robot, don't worry. My emotions are thoroughly invested in my Tulpa's wellbeing, and she will assist my research only if it pleases her. You can also expect some personal anecdotes by me. I'm a little bit word heavy, so I understand if that puts you off. Anyway, back to the story, after deciding that I was "deserving" of having a Tulpa, I started off, excited and ready to go. First a name. I've always thought that one of the most beautiful names is Sera. So thus was the birth of Sera. Initially, I put forward a couple of base traits that I could base her personality off, practiced instilling those for a couple of nights but then I decided against that. I would take her on walks (I live in a very pretty area) and just explain and describe anything that I could see, the road, power lines, whatever. We did that for a about a week, but then I got a job and moved out (I'm 18). I found (and still find) it hard to spend as much time with her, as usually my mind is too spent to focus. But still, I always keep her in my thoughts. The first real sign of progress (and thus the reason for this progress report) happened a few days ago. I was doing some routine gardening (I find repetitive manual labour helps get me into a deep state of mental clarity and relaxation, funny that) I decided to start having a chat with Sera. I thought I might talk about her form. I asked her a question about it (I usually ask questions like this). It was if she wanted to wear a lab coat. Something about the state I was in, I just felt a slight positive reaction in me. Currently, I'm of a mind that it was either Sera, or my subconscious. I'm a firm believer in the idea of assumed sentience, so I take it as her (though I still remain adequately objective). So, as I'm working, I'm thinking that maybe I have a primitive form of communication with her. The extent of which I realised a couple of questions after that. I said "Alright, so you want a lab coat?" Then I got a slight negative feeling accompanied with the tiniest hint of head pain. I kind of understood what she meant, in that, she did want a lab coat, but it is boring if it is just plain. I can't explain how I knew that, but it was more of a feeling than a thought. So I asked her if she wanted a pinstripe or two and explained what they were. I thought up what I had in mind and visualised it: A stripe down the back of the lab coat or one on each side running down. This is where it gets interesting. I got a kind-of thought, it was familiar but a bit alien at the same time. It was the same lab coat, but there were two pinstripes down the back, side by side, that were short, and only went from about shoulder height to waist height. The image in my head flashed, and the same pinstripes were being displayed in the exact same spot, except at different rotations, as if she didn't know which way they should go. I pondered this for a while, and about an hour later, I got the thought that instead of pin striping, there should be an insignia or something emblazoned across the back. This got me an immediate positive reaction from what I believe is Sera. What I can sum up from this, if it was a bit hard to understand, is that in the current state she is in, she can only communicate to me in terms of the questions that I ask. The pin striping from the image she showed me was the exact length and width of the ensignia I imagined. I take the rotations of it as she wanted something with more depth than just a linear width and height, but could only explain it to me in terms of pin striping. Kind of like a feeling that you just can't find the words for. I haven't had a chance to have any further conversations like that because I was interrupted and it takes a lot of focus and right now, I've got some stuff going on. Aside from that development, I might as well talk about how we're doing as a unit. Most of the times I start talking to her, I find myself apologising to her for not being able to invest as much time in her as I could. Sometimes it's just procrastinating or wanting to do something else that gets in the way, and it makes me feel pretty bad. I have made a couple of promises I haven't kept, like reading some books to her and stuff like that. I haven't been doing very much active forcing, mostly I spend time just passive forcing. No puppeting though, I just have trouble doing it. I absolutely adore her but my real world commitments find me feeling like a bit of jerk. Anywho, if you read that, thanks for sticking with me through that. It's not very often that I would come out and do something like this, so it's all very exciting to actually have something to write down my thoughts and to look at. So if this has drawn anyone's attention, or you're interested on how the story continues, then I will become a bit more active on here. I like meeting new people, and I'm happy to answer any questions you may have. Thankyou for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.
  4. That's an awfully close-minded perception you have there. "I don't find this scary therefore everyone shouldn't" Why are some people afraid of spiders, snakes, falling? Hell there's people who have a phobia of trees. I think being scared of something intentionally designed to be scary is quite rational. Anywho, It would be, but I would rather that it not be involved in the process at all :P
  5. Well asshat, It's not Japanese girls that have black hair. That would be an irrational fear. What I am referring to is like The Ring and similar movies with horror connotations, so ask for confirmation if you are unsure of what I mean before you start handing out insults like candy. *ahem* Now that that's out of the way, appreciate the input guys, but the Ouigi and Koomer progress report has got me a bit rattled about the whole thing.
  6. Alright, thanks for that guys. It kind of put my mind at ease. Know I've just got to get started I guess. I assume there are plenty of resources on here to help with that?
  7. Hiya Guys! Cheers for clicking on this thread, it's my first. so please take that into account as you read the rest of this. Before you ask, I did indeed search the forums for a few of these questions and couldn't quite find definitive answers. Anyway, to avoid a wall of text, i'll get straight into it. I have a few questions that I hope the people here can help me with. 1. I am new to this phenoma, and as such, I am worried about the potential dangers of this practice. Just reading a few cases with supposed "Hostile Take-overs" by Tulpas sends shivers down my spine. So what dangers do I have? 2. I am worried about how much time I will need to allocate to this. Now I know this sounds a bit uppity or whatnot, but I am going to be moving soon, and I'm just not sure if I will have time to put a few hours in everyday. So how much time should/can I allocate to a tulpa? 3. I have read that Tulpa can take their own forms. One thing about me, I am terrified of those creepy black haired girls you see in Japanese horror flicks. I am scared that I will accidently create a Tulpa that looks like this, and I will never be able to get rid of it. This is my number one fear. Is there any potential for this to happen? And if so, how prominent is it. 4. How much do they affect everyday life, I don't want to be treated as a weirdo or similar if I get switched or something like that happens. I don't want to turn into a hermit just hanging out with my own mind. I Am pretty sure that is all the questions I have for now. Please take in mind that I am very new to this, so if you could answer my questions with the least amount of hostility, that would be fantastic of you. :)