Hey there and thank you for reading this and hopefully taking interest in my progress. To be honest I think it's a great idea including this section. I imagine posting on here will help me reflect on my progress as much as getting feedback from other people. I'll try and make this as readable as possible.
Who am I?
My name is Jay. I'm a 21 year old film student specialising in sound. I am very passionate about my work and have been considered to be very professional and dedicated.
I have an extensive history of depression and anxiety, which I have been learning to cope with for a while now. Recently I have been making a lot of progress and seem to be learning about my limits, triggers and how to cope with my own thoughts. By the time I graduate I'm hoping to be in a place where I understand a lot more about myself then when I began this degree.
Missy was created with these few basic personality traits in mind.
My plan after reading several guides was to develop her through discussion and exercises. Her form I felt would create itself as we found out who she is first. I had no pretences really on what she would look like.
And it seems to be working out. Her name we think is temporary until we see one that clicks but Missy is a pet name I give to a lot of my female friends and represents a lot of fondness and love to me so it works for now.
She certainly is developing a form. I won't go into too much detail but I will give a vague description. She is a quite a pale, angelic looking woman who wears a lot of white. She is quite a bit taller then me with big attractive blue eyes. Long silky hair. We can't seem to settle on a colour just yet. I had no idea this is the sort of tulpa but I certainly wouldn't have her any other way now!
As for her personality she certainly has all the traits I listed above with a few extra. She is damn cheeky for example! She surprises me with her observations sometimes.
How are we progressing?
We have a wonderland. A very bright meadow by a river, with lots of pretty white flowers. The sky is a gorgeous blue with some heavenly looking clouds. We haven't explored much but we know of a waterfall. It sounds amazing which I think that's due to my interest into sound design work.
We have also done a few of these questions together with a friend listening in. I was amazed with how talkative she was. Her responses certainly surprised me as well (I may go into detail another time as I wrote them down to show my friend what she was saying).
Other then that I've tried to include her with my day to day life. She likes Azumanga Daioh (her favourite character is Osaka), she adores strawberry milk and she doesn't like Guiness but loves John Smiths. An opinionated madame she is! She also thinks I work way too hard and thinks I have a lot of self esteem issues.
Questions and Enquiries!
I've heard a lot about this and think I have an idea on it. I feel like I have an idea of when I am making Missy think something rather then her coming up with something on her own but I'd certainly appreciate any opinions on that.
I certainly can see when she's about but she does disappear a lot too. Is that normal? I imagine in time that may happen less but I was curious how anyone else's early experiences of visualising your tulpa's went?
Normal thing I imagine but occasionally I will feel her hold her hand, touch my shoulder and other general friendly things but I don't see her that clearly or at all. Is that something that can happen?
If you've been lovely enough to read this I would appreciate an opinion on our progress or any advice you have to give would be nice too. This is different for everyone I'm aware but I'm sure there will be some wisdom out there!
Thank you very much if you read all this. I am looking for friends and people to share conversations with so feel free to drop me a message.
Hope to hear from you!
Jay and Missy.