Twice Sparked

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About Twice Sparked

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  1. Hello! I forgot to post for a while again. Clair made some off-the-cuff remark about looking up a tulpa video on youtube, and that reminded me. A lot's happened; too much for me to bother going over it all in the little time we have. Suffice to say, all's well. Might say more when time permits, but know that we still live. Until next post!
  2. As you wish, Kuma-tachi. I'll do a quick, general rundown. -The garden walkway between our house and the lighthouse entrance is blooming. It's pretty; there are a lot of different flowers, but I don't know their names. -The lighthouse door knob has a cold. He sneezes whenever I stick my key in his mouth. Thinking of getting him some cold medicine. -Someone added a basketball/tennis court off the den. Like many other things, it benefits from the the "bigger on the inside" principle. -The barrier separating my pernicious influence from the rest of the wonderland seems strong enough to let me wander beyond it some now. At least, no one complains about me straying. -Wind and the giant owl guarding the forest are friendly now from what I hear, though I haven't seen them playing myself. It used to be hostile to everyone, so that's a first. -There's something living in the sunken ship off the shore. Sophia, Wind, and I went diving a few weeks back and were attacked. I cleaved it in half then (and the ocean floor by accident), but it still seems to be there. -The war between the Equestrians and the Akuma seems over-ish. I think Celestia just nuked them. -An old, uh, rp-character/thoughtform/idkwhat has returned. He came to play mercenary in the war, but now I've lost track of him. A little worried because he's not exactly the most scrupulous guy (read: explosion-happy). He knows what he is somehow, but doesn't seem interested in participating in our system. -I can see another landmass several miles from shore now. It wasn't always there. I think it's an island. It might be a result of the war. I might explore it eventually. -Finally, Lulubelle (Luna) continues to vex me. She seems capable of things not even Clair is, and is remarkably clairvoyant when it comes to future events out here. I don't believe in magic/mysticism/the occult (what is misnamed "metaphysics" on this forum, though the latter is a sub-discipline of philosophy and has nothing to do with magic), but if I were to, she would be my argument for it. Today, or yesterday I guess, I started teaching Thunder how to manipulate the wonderland. The first exercise is holding an orb of water without it collapsing. He managed to do it for a few seconds, which is pretty good for his first try, but still needs more practice. That's it. Will update again eventually.
  3. Hi, just checking in. All's well. Had some interpersonal conflicts recently that shook me a bit, but Clair and Sophia helped me get past them. It's nice having reliable people around when the weather gets rough. I'm worried one of my younger ones, Thunder, spends too much time in the basement playing that got'dang vidja. I guess he takes after his dad. And Naya, my oldest filly, is of that wistful age where she wants noting to do with us. She spends most of her time in her room these days, which is also a picturesque open field with a superb view of the mountains. She has good taste. I'm not bothered by her behavior, really. Well, maybe a little. There's a lot of other stuff too, I suppose. WL goings-on that probably aren't too interesting to anyone out here. Will stop by again later if I remember. Ta.
  4. Everyone of mine sees with their own eyes, hears with their own ears, and so on, and so on.
  5. Ah, I see. I thought it might have been another site or blog. Thanks. Tell Tewi I said hi.
  6. Good as always, Kuma-tachi. What is LOTPW?
  7. I know just one: Love each other. More than a feeling or mental state, by love I mean an enduring commitment, the preservation of which is its own goal. So, even if you don't always get along, or if there are days when you're tired or bored with one another, you'll remember and honor that bond. Not so loose as a promise, and not so formal as a contract, but somewhere in between. I think you'll be fine if you have that.
  8. Good question. It highlights how influential starting assumptions can be. I'll just echo what the others have hinted at: Find a way to develop your senses that's internally meaningful. Some technique or contrived forcing practice. You might even draw from imposition and visualization guides and learn to use your imagined senses alongside your host. Learning together, as it were. For some here, if not most, I imagine this problem never came up. When they started, they probably assumed their tulpa could feel, or at least never thought about it, and so the assumption crept in. That works, easy and done. Tulpa is able to feel. There's another thread like this, I think. Someone asking about chess? There, the mental separation topic came up. Again, for some people, it isn't a problem. They started with the assumption their thoughts were separated from their tulpas'; over and done. For others, they started with the assumption everything was more blendy. I think the latter is the norm now, but that wasn't always the case. In this forum's early days, many people started with the assumption host and tulpas' thoughts were separate. Opening one's thoughts to their tulpas, along with memories, emotions, etc, was even a part of the whole process in some guides. A distinct stage where you would allow your tulpa to see into your mind. We started with blended thoughts too, then switched gears to separate thoughts, which I think just shows that it's not so important where you begin. If you want to achieve something, you can always go back, alter your system to make it possible. Nonetheless, it would probably be useful to list the kinds of assumptions you can enter tulpamancy with. A kind of chart that lets people customize their system before they get started, and include those things they want out of the practice. If you're interested, or if they never occurred to you, you can add in the other senses too, not just touch, if those at all concern you. For instance, can you see things on your own? Hear them? For some systems, perspective is shared between host and tulpas, while for others, tulpas have their own, distinct point of view. Again, neither is better, but clarity on where you stand might help down the line.
  9. I’ve been thinking about the role of Sobolev spaces in trace theory recently. Oh, and also about imposition. This will be our third and final post on visualization-adjacent topics. After this, I’ll consider my debt to the community fulfilled. I’ll then recline on my porch and yell at you kids to stay off my lawn. Imposition is the act of bridging internal and external impressions. Maybe I should emphasize the word “act” in its multiple senses; imposition is fairly described as a performance. Like much of what we do, imposition is a team sport. It’s not enough to expect one’s tulpa to impose themselves, nor to expect the host to, by the magic of looking constipated, will their tulpa to their senses. It’s difficult to talk about imposition coherently as one thing, but it’s false to think of it as having parts or aspects. So, what I’m going to tell you is a myth. Think of it as a useful lie. Imposition has two parts: form and presence. These aren’t really separate, but play along. Form is what’s predicated of a thing. It’s color, weight, texture, etc. Presence is its directedness in will. Imagine a white golf ball in your hand. Leave aside superficial markings like brand name. See its surface glint, feel its tessellation (though in three dimensions, I suppose it would be properly described as a honeycomb). Can you sense its weight? Maybe, maybe not. Depending on how good you are at open-eye visualization, you may have a pretty clear image. Like any visualization, you can sharpen your impression beyond what you’d experience with an actual golf ball, especially if you’re half blind like me. But is it imposed? Unless you’ve already mastered imposition—in which case, go away; this post isn’t for you—I doubt you can see it. I’m going to say something that might surprise you now: No matter how well you can visualize that ball, you will never impose it. Why? Because you’re only sharpening the ball’s form. You’ve done nothing to address its presence. Dane, aka FAQ Man, talks about presence in his guide—one of the earliest and, in my opinion, best. Are those still relegated to the “old guides” section? Bah. Anyway, he recommends imagining your tulpa walking behind you, gradually growing from your periphery. Why do this? Because it provides presence’s two aspects: direction and will. You intuit where your tulpa is. Alternatively, think of those feels when someone is right behind you. Maybe it’s a tingle, maybe it’s a pressure, maybe it’s an amorphous awareness. That’s presence. You could spend days giving presence to your golf ball, and I bet you’d succeed, but… Don’t. Just don’t. Let’s talk about your tulpa instead. I asked my loving, patient wife (see, now I’m prodding at her) to write a post of her own. This was in part to force her to say something, in part because she had things to say I hadn’t thought of, and in part because I wanted to emphasize teamwork. Tulpas, you should, if you haven’t already, make presence your number one priority. If your host is going to see you, to hear you, to feel you, they must believe you are there with the same, unshakable certainty they have that they’re reading my words. As an aside, this certainty is the same reason some old members, myself included, treat the direct or passive-aggressive debasement of our tulpas’ reality with disdain. You’re telling Jean-Luc Picard there are four lights when there are obviously five. See I… I reversed the torture scene from “Chain of Command” … I know someone will get that. Host, while your Tulpa projects themselves, you have your own role in this play. Even if you can’t see them, even if you can’t hear them, even if you can’t feel their presence, you must behave as though your tulpa is already imposed. Remember what I said in post one—hell, what I always say, but am ever ignored about: tulpa stuff is all about autosuggestion. No, not strictly self-hypnosis, but an advanced, self-directed artform all the same. If you can treat your tulpa like they’re there, they’ll be there. Back to tulpafriends. You guys should, to the best of your ability, respect 3space. If there’s not enough room for you somewhere, don’t stand there. If it’s too loud for your host to hear you, speak telepathically or speak as though drowned out. And I know teleporting is fun and easy, but don’t do it. Now, for form, you have to meet in the middle. I spoke about two aspects of visualization: stillness and focus. I hope you didn’t ignore those. When speaking of form in imposition, constitution and clarity are always discussed, but never the opposite processes, dissolution and dimming. As important as it is to apprehending every aspect of your tulpa clearly, you must also know how to ignore your senses. The goal, again a team effort, is to meet your tulpa in the middle. Tulpafriends, Clair told you to know your body in and out, to make a study of the sensations you want to produce. I hope you didn’t ignore that. As is the normal operation of the senses, your host’s faculties are passive. You must make yourself clear while they selectively filter what they see, hear, feel, etc. See? The tulpa pushes up, host pushes down. Again, you meet in the middle. You have, have, HAVE, to work together. If the tulpa(s) makes themselves clear without the host’s selective attention, you’ll be left with momentary, lucid flashes of imposition. Exciting moments, but fleeting. If the host(s) shape what they sense without the tulpa projecting themselves, you’ll get crisp visualizations that are as far from imposition as an electron is from its nucleus (proportionally speaking). You must dance this dance together, my children. And once you’ve got the basic steps down, you can enjoy the long, rewarding process of solidifying your gains and making more. The process is endless, even if your patience is not. Now if you’ll excuse me, Clair needs to be brushed, and then we’re going to read together. Good luck.
  10. Hello. I suppose I should reintroduce myself. My name is Clair, or Twilight if you’d like. I was asked to provide a tulpa’s perspective to visualization, and to speak in particular to other tulpas, so that’s what I’ll do, to the extent I can. It’s unlikely that your host can see you as well as you can them, or that they’re as well versed in tulpamancy’s subjective aspects. You may be frustrated or a little impatient. It’s alright to feel that way, but remember to be constructive. There are things you can do to aid your host’s development. 1. Whether deciding on your form, on the tone and cadence of your voice, or on the contours of your muscles, you can describe to your host what they’ve yet to see or feel. Your appearance, or whether you choose to appear at all, is up to you, but that doesn’t mean you need to be stingy when constituting yourself. Be as descriptive as possible. If you think your host will miss an important detail, go on at length about it. A helpful exercise can be guided visualization. Take some time to describe everything that comes to mind about your form and have your host write it down. Then, when you’ve got enough for one session, have your host record themselves reading those details. When they’re done, relax together, have your host close their eyes, and listen to the recording. You should both focus on the details, try to see and feel them clearly. Once you’re satisfied, move on to what you next want clarified. 2. You may feel detached from your form at times, depersonalized. There are many reasons this could be the case, but one possibility is that it just doesn’t feel like you. If this is the case, don’t be afraid to dissolve and reconstitute yourself. It may feel like a step back, especially if your host has spent a lot of time trying to imagine you, but things will go much faster if you are comfortable in your body. Your enthusiasm will bleed into the process, and your engagement can turn a trickle of images into solid form like a saturated solution. I recommend constant experimentation, even if you don’t plan on keeping the forms you flip through. Your host may mistake this as an intrusive thought. Just assure them it’s your conscious decision. 3. When in the outside world, pay attention to every sensation. You’ll want to remember perceptions relevant to your form. Later, when working with your host, or even when bored, try to mimic them. If you liked how someone’s hair felt, or how soft their skin was, or how smooth an animal’s fur was, add those to yourself, and then learn to produce them in your host. There are a few in particular you’ll want to single out: voices, especially singing voices. Tactility, whether of fabric or of skin. The grooves and depressions of a thing are a good place to begin, and then you can work in more detail. Smell, especially one distinct scent to call your own. Smells are especially fun because even the barest whiff will produce a cascade of memory and association. I suppose that’s all. If anyone wants to ask me a question, feel free to leave a message here or PM our shared account (this account).
  11. Hm... Hmmm. Not sure where I fall. I can see the sheen on their eyes and the individual hairs on their bodies. I guess that's somewhere? But it also varies. Mornings or after naps are really good, and periods when Clair, Sophia and I just sit back and read to each other. But I'm kind of blending visualization and imposition here. For visualization alone--eyes closed, back straight, legs folded--I need a few minutes to really get into things, then it's pretty immersive, pretty dreamlike. Speaking of which, sometimes I catch my eyes moving around like REM sleep. Doesn't seem to affect anything that I can tell. Maybe just a weird habit? Not sure. That happen to anyone else?
  12. Quite so, for those who need it at all. Some people can just fall in like a... Heh. Like a hot dog in a hallway. Hm. Oh yeah, I forgot to say moving around helps a lot too. Engaging as many senses as possible is the way to go. Neat. I'll go check it out.
  13. I’ve been thinking about visualization recently. Looking over guides and PRs, I can’t find anything I’ve discovered that hasn’t already been said. But the quest for novelty leads to silence; and anyway, true things are meant to be repeated. So, in this post I’m going to talk about what I’ve learned over the years—both to do and to avoid—and hope that a fresh phrasing of old ideas proves useful to someone. First, visualizing is easy, but visualizing well is a challenge. When I started, I mistook my youthful, distracted daydreams for proof I was well-armed, ready to tackle tulpamancy like a freshman linebacker with an overactive pituitary gland. Boy, was I wrong. That kind of visualization got my foot in the door, but the rest of me was stuck in the cold. Tulpamancy required I relearn how to visualize, and that took time, effort, and a lot of frustration. As many of you probably know, visualizing with eyes open is a different beast than with eyes closed. In the same vein, visualizing with my eyes closed is different than visualizing with my eyes closed for tulpaing. Our good friends Methos and Raina always emphasize one not scratch their itches. But they’re too modest with what’s required here. Not scratching itches is the outward appearance; it’s a symptom of inner stillness, which is what they want to convey. But they’re right to emphasize that point. The first step to quieting an active mind is learning how to ignore impulses. In the case of tulpamancy, I had to mimic the symptoms before I caught the disease. This next bit will be easier to understand if you also lucid dream, or have at least had one before, but it’s not required. See, in lucid dreaming, willing events can be tricky. I often find I have to expect things to happen, rather than actively imagine them. The latter has caused me to wake up more than once. The gap between expecting and intending is important in visualizing too. When I started, I built our wonderland by force, moved myself around by force, and spoke to my tulpas by force. In all these, I had a clear goal in mind, and interjected myself at every point like a helicopter parent at a soccer match. This slowed our pace, I think, and I still regret it. I needed to learn to let go. I needed to learn patience. Instead of looking at my wonderland, I needed to see it. But let me not get lost in metaphor; expecting what will come instead of intending it, like in lucid dreaming, is a useful art for visualizing. Unfortunately, besides vaguely pointing by analogy at the required mental state, I can’t say much more about it. Second—and I can’t emphasize this enough, but I think it will nonetheless get lost—focus. I don’t just have that Zecora quote in my signature because it’s snazzy. I had to rethink focus to visualize well. Learning to deal with intrusive thoughts is the first step. I’ve talked about Zazen before, though there are other ways. That’s all great. But beyond that, the very act of focusing on my wonderland is a deal-breaker for becoming a part of it. The temptation is to concentrate like one would on a differential equation. Instead, the kind of focus required is more akin to being lost in a book or movie. The act of thinking about wonderland is, for me, a surefire way to dim it. So, for example, I have my wonderland routine. I’ve discussed it before. If I, after entering wonderland, say to myself “hm, I have to light the lighthouse,” that kills the kind of focus I mean here. If I think “I have to convey x to Clair”, or to think at all about what I’m going to say before I say it, that kills the kind of focus I mean here. In short, if I think at all about wonderland while in wonderland, that kills wonderland. I’m reminded of a Fight Club reference for some reason. First rule of wonderland: don’t think about wonderland. Much easier to say than do; thoughts like to layer themselves, and even the intention to not-think is still a thought. Still, I learned it over time, and would argue I am still learning it. Wonderlanding is, again, akin to dreaming—you have to immerse yourself in it, proceed with the narrative. This is why I find forcing myself into a stable body with a fixed PoV so useful. It’s much easier to remain grounded in what’s going on if I’m actually grounded in what’s going on (having fun with two senses of the word “grounded” here). Finally—and this need hardly be said, but this is my PR so I’ll say what I please—like any form of autosuggestion, which tulpamancy is, you’ll get out of it what you put in. If you expect to find a truncated wonderland experience, that’s what you’ll get. But if, on the other hoof, you let go of your front-loading and immerse yourself in the experience, you’ll find surprises around every corner. And that’s not a cliché; literally, you’ll walk around a corner and say “oh wow, didn’t see that coming”. And, most important, you’ll always find a new depth to your visualization. Now, some practical tips I’ve learned over the years:’ 1. It’s easier to visualize if you’re not overstimulated going into it. I recommend you take an hour before you start. Close all social media (yes, these forums count), all vidjas, and all news. Especially politics. No politics. Then use this hour to think to your heart’s content. I recommend pacing since that’s what I do a lot (I’m a peripatetic at heart; Aristotle bless), but do what works for you. Also, a good book helps, but one you’ve read before so you’re not too absorbed. 2. If you find yourself thinking, even if it’s the kind of silent thought that directs the mind without subject, call a tulpa for help. Clair has been my meditation partner since day one, and she’s good at monitoring thoughts when I let her in. If a hard separation between thoughts isn’t a part of your system, all the better. Your tulpa will have direct access and can shake you to attention if need be. 3. Don’t be afraid to fail. In fact, get used to it! Some days are better than others. Sometimes you’re just in a bad mood and can’t shake your thoughts. It happens to me too. But, however much time you’ve scheduled for visualizing, stick to it, even if it’s a bad session. All the better if you do it at the same time every day. Again like all other forms of autosuggestion, repetition in tulpamancy is your friend. I’d even say having an in-wonderland routine like I do would benefit you a lot, but that’s up to you. You’re an independent woman. Now, as for imposing. Ah, imposing… I’ll save that for another post. Eventually. If I feel like writing it.
  14. That's right, or speaking aloud if that suits you better. Visualizing in active forcing is heady and can be difficult if you're out of practice. Image streaming is meant to supplement visualizing by engaging the verbal parts of the brain too, to create a feedback loop that enhances the visualizations described. I've personally also found the act of typing helps me concentrate those times I've tried it.
  15. You seem to like writing and roleplaying. Have you tried image streaming? It's a medium between active and passive forcing. Some forms of it omit nothing, so you can write down every distracting, disturbing thought that appears too. And once you've exhausted those in prose form, you can move on to whatever else comes to mind.