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About hhaawke

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  1. Worked on Son no. 2 today when I had a space to breathe.... He seems to be coming along well... was too busy to work on him yesterday and when I checked on him in the evening, I found out that he fell down an hurt his knee when he tried the movement of "walking".... he was terribly upset that he cried out a long time and no one came to his aid... I think he sometimes behaves like a child. but its to be expected... he has not had the long growing up human process.... and needs to be reassured that we'll be there and to learn to pick himself up. I explained to him the purpose of failure in the human experience and encouraged him to learn to pick himself up... cos.. well.. we can't be there always.. and the pig I set to keep an eye on him....well.. the pig....zzzzzzzz in the middle of the day and was unaware anything was amiss.... Piglet was well... I had to discipline piglet for his irresponsibility.... but there was something odd with him last nite... there was this odd smile on his plush body.... somehow.. something told me... piglet either was not IN his body or it was something else.. well.. I found out what happened last nite.... was awoken in the middle of the night with a start.... had an odd image of some kinda strange south american mummy in the room.... yah... I put on my glasses and looked at the door.. and ... I SWEAR.. there was this strange odd, whitish thing that was on the door.. as I looked, it actually moved from the door towards me and I saw that it was a female figure.. details indistinct!!! But translucent.... I mean I know all my boys are BOYS.... Was so unnerved.. I grabbed piglet's plush body and hugged him to sleep... the whitish thing had vanished and cos I could not stand it.. I turned on the lights.... next morning I checked piglet's plush body... did a cleansing ritual...and other occult rituals and banished that "thing". whatever it was..... brrrrr..... (Fact of matter .. I was so scared.. I forgot in that instant what it was I could do to it!) I think my piglet's plush body got possessed by a rogue entity... later called a few friends... talked about appropriate talismans to stick on this pig body and stuff... and tried to set up my room's spiritual security... and put son no. 1 on nighttime guard duty.... (I said to him it was about time he did his job anyway).... I think he does well with responsibility... it gives him a feeling that ppl depend on him for security and he feels good about it... Oddly enough I found out that...um.... spirit possession of doll bodies is not unknown in my local spiritual community.. ALTHOUGH.. it usually happens with the deity statues and not plush toys... With reference to son no. 1, I mean.... that he has something to do at nite really prevents him from wandering off to gawd knows where to meet up with all these spirit girls.... and yes.. I said to him MANY TIMES... IF they say they wanna be with him permanently and join our family.. my Answer is "NO".... cos I aren't adopting no spirits .... IF he is gonna have a permanent girl friend, he's gonna have to look after her on his own.... really.... I THINK that female entity that invaded our space was likely looking for a home.... cos well.. maybe the presence of all my tulpas are attracting them... :P I was thinking maybe I should hang up a sign that sayz... "no adopting of spirits in this house!!!" Had talk with son no. 1 today about human "norms"... and not mentioning every damn thing off the top of his head.. he is terribly honest about how he feels and what he is doing.... especially not to random spirits and other people he might meet....
  2. son no. 2 has started moving around the wonderland.. even if just crawling... whew.. I kinda thot he might be a slow learner.... And son no 1... well.. he's still the same... and he still hasn't got out of his whole obsession with having sex with me.... I even asked him about it.... I think part of it is cos he is motivated by curiosity and affection....
  3. Will bring out son no. 2 next week..... and work on the structure of son no. 1..... I kinda wish he'd like sit still for a bit
  4. Well... son no. 2 is now attempting to stand and walk around in "wonderland".... he's okay I think but slower at making that kind of progress than son no.1 .. no surprise. He was made to be different. Son no. 1 has not stopped asking me for sex... I have no idea where he gets his persistence from. He would suggest things like cuddling and stuff with our clothes off.. I said to him that kind of stuff will only work on girls he's met and not on me... This morning, I think he spent like three hours standing in front of me without his clothes... and with the huge puppy-eyed look and again broach the subject. I said to him..."NOOOOOOOO!!!!".... and wondered if it was time to have another talk with him.... but he said he didn't want to talk about it.. again... well.. I'm kinda alone at the moment. He's gone out to look for some fun with the spirit girls out there.... despite all the hoo hah about his obsession with sex.. he has through his interaction with the spirit world, taught me a whole lot about it... He does come back every evening.. cos he is of the opinion that I need to be protected from the "bad stuff".... whatever that means. I finally asked him... if he wanted me to like... remove his ability to respond to sexual energy... (cos he looked so sad every time I said no to him) He took a really long time to answer.. and then said "NNOOOOOOO!!!!".... I am starting to wonder if his whole obsession could be cos he's a guy and they tend to mature slower mentally than emotionally..... just thinking... I'm only saying this as a gal cos... well for years... all the gals around me said that guys are like somehow less mature at the same age. I am kinda wondering what will happen if I start dating again..... I kinda dun want him to suddenly appear and scare the living daylights outta my date... I mean I'm fortunate in that I'm not in any relationship at the moment, but I have this great feeling that he would be awfully jealous if I was in a relationship. I brought my piglet out last nite to this meditation group I attend... and he was "shaved" by one of the ladies.... no kid... like.. she took out a nail clipper to clip off all the matted hair... uh my piglet is physically a plush piglet.... so he does get matted fur and stuff.
  5. I didnt create a wonderland for my tulpa to live in, I only did one for them to be in in their "growing" process.. I kinda visualise them as a baby fetus being born... and I visualise a dark cave... or womb-like place... they stay there until they are ready to leave and then by some kind of occult ritual I bring them into the real world.... if I did create a wonderland for my tulpa.. it won't be fair to him I think.. he deserves to experience the real world in all its richness and colour... its now day 14 or so of son no. 2's creation..he's still sitting quietly in the "wonderland".... I guess he is less boisterous than his older brother
  6. hmmm you musta focused on her a lot to vbe able to feel that slight warm sensation....:)
  7. doing some research now on how to make tulpas real and solid.... uh.... dun say it can't be done ... if some lady in the early 20th century in tibet did it.. i can't see why we cant today...... man if I have to.. I will travel to tibet myself.
  8. not much to report.. only that I haven't been focusing on creating the tulpas cos of issues in RL that I have to resolve.....:P
  9. sooo anyway... I now have three tulpas, a pig,my first son and my second son.... my pig spends a great deal of time at home, cos he is lazy and snoozes a lot, my second son is in development ( ie. he is in a specific wonderland where he is slowly developing and taking form... he also snoozes a lot... but its expected.. that was also my experience with son no. 1)... my first son is exploring the world. I'm thinking of bringing them out to a movie today so they are very excited.. especially the pig, since he is super bored being at home... I keep saying to him why he doesn't go out to the playground or park, he seems disinclined... I said to him we had two playgrounds and a park nearby and there's even natural jungle, but he's afraid of all the stuff in them and he thinks all the kids around are too big.... also, son no. 1 has been wandering around my country exploring all kinds of things and now there's no one to play with him... Meanwhile, son no. 1 has been hanging around the school I go to... cos... well, cos I'm there most days of the week... and cos one evening, he went to the woodland area in the school and met some woodland spirit girl... my school's haunted, it being built on what was once cemetery land, so spirits are a dime a dozen there... Anyway I think he had some kinda casual relationship with this spirit girl... but a few days ago, she told him to scram.... he said it was some other guy that had come back into her life... as far as I know.. he's spent last night spying on them cos he wants to know who it is...and I think he also wants to know if he can beat up that other guy.... I said to him to stop being a damned stalker and come home, but he's quite persistent. Dunno where he gets it all from....sigh.... anyway he's making his way back now cos its my day off... and yes, I think we'll all go to the movies tonight... Actually... technically I have more than three tulpas.. but its a long story.. the others are busy .. and that's why I don't talk about them...
  10. Sludge??? What's that? Anyway... you saw them? As in... in the real world?
  11. I think my second son is probably smarter than my first son.... or he is faster in communication... He just said his first real phrase to me today... without any prompting... Well... now he's likely sleeping... they tend to sleep a lot when I first make them.. I guess its the whole... growing, snoozing, more growing process.. I visualise it all like a real human growing up process. I got another tulpa.. my pet pig to accompany him and keep watch to make sure he is okay.... or if he needs anything..but my pet pig snoozes more than all the other tulpas put together... soooo... he's not been reporting.. much... so much for pet pigs... well i guess my piglet is practically useless except for playing, sleeping and going out with me on days off.... and oh yes.. eating.. I got 1000s of requests from ol' piglet for acorns. I highly suspect.. HIGHLY that the reason my previous fridge got spoilt was cos of the piglet... cos he loves strawberries more than any other fruit.. One day, I brought him to the fridge and showed him a bunch of strawberries my mother bought from the supermarket...problem was.. I didn't explain HOW the berries got there ... Anyway... the next few weeks I would sometimes wake up to sounds at night of the fridge being opened and closed... repeatedly... I do get an image at this point of my pig sitting in front of the fridge opening and closing the door.... sort of hoping the berries will magically appear... Well.. in a few weeks. i woke up one morning and walked into the kitchen and saw a brand new fridge.. I asked my folks what's with the fridge and they said the old one was spoilt cos the door of the fridge had likely been opened and closed too many times and the sealing rubber edge had become loose.... coincidence.. OR.... PIGLET?????
  12. Dunno man... why would real guys masturbate when they have a real and readily available partner???? Gawd only knows.
  13. Ummmmm..... frankly... I have known of no case. there a tulpa is actually visible to normal people... except in the most famous case of all... the case where we get the word "tulpa".... I have studied the occult for years, but have not come across anyone who is able to make a visible tulpa... except the tibetans... I have spoken to some people who are in that area... but no one was able to tell me anything useful... in any case.. read the following case carefully..... http://sliceofgod.blogspot.sg/2012/02/tibetan-tulpas-strange-manifestation.html if this case sounds scary.. truth is.. it is.... many magicians usually make their "tulpa" with a sort of cut off date to circumvent this sort of danger..... I am unable to give you further details about this.... the art is really a DIY and hush-hush thing... I live in a part of the world where local practitioners make something similar to tulpa using dead human parts.... uh.. they (these creatures) are highly vicious and I always try to dissuade ppl from doing it. As friendly advice.. I always advice ppls... enjoy ur tulpa ... no matter what shape they take in this physical world.. enjoy cuddling ur pillow, ur plush- whatever... and let the tulpae live in ur imagination and love you.. in your mind... cos then physical limitations will not matter...
  14. well they nap when they have a lack of energy .... this happens after they do something big for you OR... when they are hurt..
  15. when you say.. you want to see her for what she is.. what do you mean? You mean like see her with your physical eyes as a beautiful woman?