NeoGC

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About NeoGC

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  1. NeoGC

    Ré.

    Day 71 Did some imposing and narrating. Nothing really of interest. Day 72 1/7/2013 About 11:35 PM to around 12:08 or so. A lot happened this time. Let me think as to where to start. I focused and found Ré fast asleep on the side of the giant tree in the field. I bent down and quietly woke her up out of her sleep. She seemed pretty glad to see me. I sat with her and talked for awhile. We kinda debated on what we'd do today. Finally, I spoke up. "Remember the city that we once had ice cream at, Ré?" She nodded, I think. "Let's go there! I've been wanting to make a few adjustments to it for quite some time anyway." I led her into the door I always come in through, and down the white hallway. I looked at each door until I found one with a grey light floating in the middle of it. "This must be it..." I said. "Gray...like cement..." I touched the gray light in the center, and it sent out a small ripple around itself, as if my surroundings were water. It only went out a inch or two from the light ,and then an entire portal to a city appeared in front of us. I led her in. We both walked into a city with a long road going on a downwards slope. The first mission from the video game Sonic Adventure 2 sprung to mind. Ré looked at me. "Are you thinking what I think you're thinking...?" "City Escape? Awwwww yeah." I made two boards appear in front of us. We sled down the street, dodging obstacles and grinding on edges and rails. Even though we both haven't ever skated in our lives, we both performed like pros. It was awesome. Eventually, we veered off road, and onto a dirt path which led us off a giant cliff and into total free fall overlooking beautiful houses and buildings as far as the eye could see. The upper portion resembled New York City, while this lower portion seemed to resemble a more european city. Something I'd expect in a place like Florence, Italy or somewhere similar. (Looks something like this...I know this whole sequence was pretty much Sanic-inspired but hey, it was fun. :P http://media.sonicscanf.org/gallery/sonic-generations/rooftop-run-modern-sonic-3.jpg) After free-falling for a while, I felt something appear over my hands and hook in. A device. It was like a hang-glider than locked you in so you couldn't fall. It landed onto a floating rail (I don't even really know at this point, but MAN it was cool) and it went up and around a giant clocktower before slowing down due to momentum, making one slow circle around. Then, a long descent down, down, down...until we were ziplining just a few feet above city streets. The rails ended and while in mid air, the device vanished. Ré and I landed into a whole street circle that was...cushioned...somehow. Whatever the case, we were unharmed, so I couldn't argue with that. I got up. "A cushioned landing? I have a feeling a lot of this descent was your doing, Ré." I looked at her, but not in a disapproving way. It was really a ton of fun. She laughed and said, "Maybe...just a little bit." We walked back up the hill, and found a coffee shop on the way back. She got hot vanilla coffee and I got an iced Mocha frappe. We had conversations of coffee, ourselves, and just general talk. It was fun to actually be able to have a conversation, even if she still kind of speaks through my own mind-voice. (Tulpish, is what some call it?) After the coffee, we walked all the way back to the portal and to the field, where I told her I had to go. I said my goodbyes and gave her a hug and bid her adieu. It's kind of great to have crazy adventures again in a semi-dreamesque state. :3
  2. NeoGC

    Ré.

    Day 70 12:45 AM - about 1:20 AM So, I did it today. It was about 12:45 in the morning. I put all my concentration in staying focused and not letting myself fall asleep. Eventually when I felt I had relaxed enough. I rode an elevator down into the familiar white hall that I used to reach my wonderland, the field, all the time back then. "It's certainly been awhile since I've been in here..." I said to myself. "It hasn't even changed one bit." I looked down the hall and actaully did see something different. Many more doors then what originally was there...they were all differently colored, and I assumed they all led to different palces. I went the opposite way into the white door next to the elevator. It opened, and there she was in a pod. I stared at her through the pod's window and studied how she looked. She was sleeping peacefully, appearing to be exactly as she was when I put her in. I was actually beginning to feel anxious, so I pressed the switch on the pod's control panel to release her. The pod depressurized and smoke and whatnot came from it, and out walked Ré. She looked around her surroundings for a second before her eyes focused onto me. We kinda locked eyes in a moment of silence before I spoke up. "Hello, Ré. I...guess I kept you waiting, huh? I'm truly sorry. This...probably shouldn't have even happened." Her face seemed understanding enough, and so I continued. "I wanted you to be peaceful and in a state where time to you would pass by very quickly, instead of dreading day after day alone, overcome with boredom and solitude. I never should have left you. I'm sorry." I went in to hug her, but she did it first. That brought me a bit at ease. "So, I guess I deserve a slap in the face or something, don't I?" A voice piqued up behind me. The voice of the person I was hugging. "Nah, just THIS!" She punched me right in the stomach. Ouch. I flinched back and could see her giggling silently. After taking a moment to get myself together, I held out my hand and said, "C'mon. Let's get outta here." She took my hand and I could actually FEEL that sensation in my hand similar to the time we went to the river months ago. It was then that I truly knew she was back...or maybe she was never gone to begin with? We went out into the field, and I noticed the color and lightning was much more definted and detailed than before. "Hey, look!" Ré pointed to the ground. "It's snowin' a little bit..." we looked around, and I asked her, "I remember the last thing we did together before we parted ways. We went to the moon." "Yeah..." "It was awesome. Perhaps a bit over-the-top, but that's kinda what I am, anyway. Hah..." I thought for a moment what we could do for excitement. At first, we kinda just sat there in the grass. It was peaceful and nice. The land streched on for quite more than I even remember. I made two jetpacks. "Why don't we...fly around? Just around the mountain over there and back." And of course, in typical Ré fashion, she says, "...Race ya!" and runs to one real quick and grabs it. Lifting off into the air. "Hey! Get baaaaack!" I grab the other one and go off after her. We make our way around the area, diving through trees and near water...it was actually quite a bit perilous. Ré may seem her usual caring, kind self, but she definitely seems more playful and daring...then again, I also made her to be that way as well. After that, I could begin to feel myself slipping into sleep. Before I went to sleep entirely, I hugged her goodbye and said before I left, "It's good to see you again." She smiled, and I turned around, opening my eyes to check the time, and then falling right back asleep.
  3. NeoGC

    Ré.

    Two months since I've even logged in. I feel terrible. I suppose I should give a small update as to what's going on. Life has slowed down a little bit, but I have to begin making up for the past now. At the moment, during a long car drive (Yes, it sounds stupid, but There was no traffic on the long road, so bear with me) I was putting a lot of thought into what to do about Ré...I eventually envisioned a small pod (Similar to the one the Master Chief slept in at the end of Halo 3) and told her that everything would be alright, and I explained...or maybe she could read it subconsciously...I don't remember, that we couldn't spend the same time together as we could before. I sealed her in the comfy tube, in stasis...until I would wake her at a time where we could spend much more time together. A time where life isn't as busy as it is. I'm beginning to hope that that time is coming soon. But I can't do this alone, guys. THe road to redemption and recovery is a long and tough one, and I'm gonna need all the help I can get to rekindle everything with Ré. I've kept her all this time in my mind and heart...in my thoguhts and emotions. I know it sounds horribly cheesy, but I've made sure that her spirit remains strong. About a week or two ago, I was walking. It was an overcast evening, and I had my iPod in. The song, "Theme of Love" came onto the iPod. It's the song that I associate Ré the very most with. As soon as it started, I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia swelling. It grew stronger and stronger, and I felt a intense sense of Nostalgia, wistfulness, and the smallest bit of joy. Realizing by the end of the song I was choked up and tears were streaming down my face (Not many, I promise!) I wiped them up and got myself together. Was that her? Deep down inside after all this time of having to be put on the backburner because of both my life and own laziness? I don't know...but I need you guys to know this. Help me out here, please?
  4. NeoGC

    Ré.

    Hey, i'm still alive. Sorry, life's been tossing one thing at another at me. I've been doing light narration throughout my day, as that's really all I can get to. When I find the time to really sit down and type (Maybe tonight, maybe this week, I dunno...) I'll post some stories that've happened in this time span here from memory, as they went unlogged. Life's been super busy, and I know i've been saying that over and over for ages, but please believe me when I say that it really is. And i'm sooooo tired. :c
  5. NeoGC

    Ré.

    Day 69 Trance - 12:37 PM to 1:50 PM Today was...weird. I had a pretty free day for most of the day (Until 4:00) so I went and drove around places, narrating and whatnot, and stopped by my other house to run a few errands. While there, I figured I had time to kill, so I laid down and decided to try and force. I didn't reallly get to actually force, but something else that was pretty cool happened. I spent sometime getting into a trance, and I thought, "I should try to get deeper into a trance this time. I feel like I'm not getting relaxed enough." so, I did just that. I began to get a bit of radio chatter from a bunch of different voices (One I found quite amusing was some sort of female AI voice that seemed really random and scatterbrained. I DID hear one thing of interest. "[My name]...Hmm...what an interesting name...") and I think that eventually quieted down. What follows is something I Really can't explain. I did some narration just in this state. Not in my wonderland. Just, relaxing. And, it felt like I was having a closer connection to Re in this moment of time. Like, she was right there standing in front of me, or with me, but I couldn't see her. I felt this stronger bond between us, and to be honest, I'm not really sure what it means or why it happens. I'm struggling to explain it to be honest. Also, in the course of this, I went in and out of several dreams. A lot of them being interesting in one way or another (Like me and people I know escaping a flooding Spain/Italy inspired looking town...I don't know why either, don't ask me!)
  6. NeoGC

    Ré.

    Day 62 Although I only forced for like, 5 minutes, I narrated a nice little while throughout the day. I don't know why, but when I narrate to Re I feel really happy. I think imposing is making some progress. Sometimes I swear I'll have seen a silhouette where I imagine her (For instance, in the front passenger's seat whenever I'm driving) and these frequency of little things is truly exciting. :) Day 63 So, today was a really lazy day after a series of long weeks. I hadn't narrated today and felt like I was neglecting her, so I sat down to my computer about an hour or two ago and decided to play Black Mesa: Source. I visualized Re sitting in a chair next to me, watching. I commented on various things that happened in the game (I was at the very beginning) and got no real response, but eventaully I got to one point in the game where you have to jump across a series of large metal crates that are suspended high above the ground. The jumping is kind of finicky, and one misstep can make you fall to your death. I was having quite a bit of trouble with this part, and kept dying several times. Eventually, a thought chimed in my head, "Hey, why not instead of trying to rush through, try to be more methodical? Take each crate one at a time, slowly." The thought was pretty quick (But not instant) and it didn't quite /feel/ like my own. It's very hard to explain, and I don't think I can, but please bear with me here. I thought in my head as I was sure it had to be her, "Well, okay. Fine." I did just that, taking each crate as one individual obstacle, and finally made it to the end, so that I could proceed with the game. I had a feeling (But it wasn't explicitly said in my head) of "Hah! See, I told you it would work!" and, knowing it was her, I mentally said, "I guess you were right...good job, Re!" This kind of stuff is so awesome. Words can't really explain how glad I am that she's slowly becoming more communicative. One day I hope for her to speak vocally, but I know that's further down the road.
  7. NeoGC

    Ré.

    Hm, well, I have next to no knowledge on that stuff, so if someone were kind enough to point me in the right direction, that'd be great. :)
  8. NeoGC

    Ré.

    It's certainly something I'd like to try one day.
  9. NeoGC

    Ré.

    Re – Day 61 Wow, it’s been a very long time since I’ve forced. School. Drama. My play in school. Friendships. Grades. Math struggles. Time consuming homework. Life in general had gotten in the way, and It really made me sad that I could no longer spend as much time as I wanted to with Re. To fill in this large time gap, I’m going to state that while I did lack the time to force, I tried to at bedtime time and time again. I felt guilty, I felt like I was neglecting her. It really tormented me. For nights in a row, I’d try to trance right before I went to bed, with no success. Every time, I’d start to get somewhere, either it be relaxing, or even in the wonderland (I think I may have had lemonade with her, before I accidentally drifted to a peaceful sleep…:/) with me falling asleep on poor Re. I can only imagine how lonely she feels. I imagine how she is, what she’s doing. I imagine her always next to me when I narrate, imposing. I hear it’s healthy for Tulpa development, so a little of that can’t hurt at all, now can it? So, through this 12 day gap, I’ve been narrating to Re. I did it mostly in the car, while I drove to and back from home. And, in this period, I do believe I have actually gotten some results. For instance, once I was driving home, and I looked at the clouds in the sky. I said to her, “Re, do you ever stop and stare up at the clouds? I remember when I was a little kid; I’d glimpse up into the sky and imagine the clouds as people…monsters…giants, spaceships, sky armadas, and just anything else that would come to mind. Some things more abstract than others. Even to this day, I still love using my imagination to create these scenes and objecs through the clouds. I find it…thought-provoking. What do you see when you look in the sky, Re?” This was responded to with some pressure on the temples on the left and right areas of my forehead. I know I get sinus allergy issues, but I had no sinus issues whatsoever that day. This pressure came all of a sudden and lasted for just a few moments before subsiding. Deep in my heart, I knew it was her, and my spirits lifted at the thought of her truly trying her best to communicate. Another instance where she gave communication is probably the most substantial and memorable thing she’s done outside of the wonderland yet. I was driving home (This is when I usually narrate through my day, and then a little bit when I’m at home, but long, time-consuming homework has prevented this, most of the time) and I was talking to her about random things, and eventually started to share my feelings with her. I told her how I felt really sad and guilty that things between us aren’t what they were not-too-long ago. That school and my life has gotten me so busy that I haven’t been able to dedicate time being with her. That I felt that I was neglecting or ignoring her. After a while, my thoughts were suddenly interrupted with a thought of, “It’s okay, please don’t worry…” It kind of caught me off-guard, and after pondering what the heck just happened for a moment, I realized what just happened, and I became really happy. She really cares for me. She does. My heart lifted, and I couldn’t help but just smile. So, finally, today was the first day in this long that I actually got to lay down and force for quite some period of time. Re – Day 61 – Tulpaforce Session: 2:50 PM – 3:47 PM I laid down, stretched out, and got into a trance. After some time, I walked through the white room (It seems like not a single thing had changed) and into the field. For whatever reason, the field was a little harder to visualize than usual, but that’s probably because I haven’t been there in almost 2 weeks. I saw Re, standing not too far away from me, looking out at the sky. I called out, “Re!!!” and she spun around. I practically tackled her with a hug that she gladly returned. I asked her how she had been, how she was feeling, how her day was, etc. The two of us relaxed with each other, talking small talk for quite some time. It was nice to just hang out with her in the wonderland again, and I hope I can get back to doing this more often. I finally had to go, as there was still math homework to be done, but I gave her my usual goodbyes, and told her that I loved her. It was so, so great to revisit the field again. I hadn’t been there for almost 2 weeks and It felt like I hadn’t been there for 2 years. Today was a great day. I’m very happy Re and I got to spend some quality time together. We both needed it, and even though narrating is still keeping contact with her, it’s nothing compared to trancing, before she’s imposed, anyway. :)
  10. (Enters thread) ACTUALLY, that's Naked Snake AKA Big Boss. :3 (Leaves Thread)
  11. NeoGC

    Ré.

    Day 47,48 DNF...Although I have been narrating/Passive forcing. I have a feeling I'm entering what most call the "Blank Period", as I have stopped really feeling head pressure and everything that is associated with it... Day 49 4:45 PM - 6:00 PM So, today was interesting. Not only did I force for quite a long time undistrubed, but it was nice to go to the wonderland and see Re again after such a long week. After I entered, adding a bit more detail to the room I enter in, I walked to the field, and saw Re looking out from her window, and walking out of her house via the front door. She ran up to greet me, and I felt bad not coming to the wonderland all this time, but I had the feeling she knew I was sorry, and (Through my narrating) has probably heard me apologize a thousand times anyway... So, we chatted for awhile, and I worked on visualizing her physical features and how she felt and stuff (I swore she was like, 'H-Hey!' when I got to the pants...yeah, it was awkward...) and then we sort of hung around. I remembered when she was first created and I had kind of dropped into the field skydiving style. I asked Ré if she ever remembered skydiving with me. The response "No..." immediately came to my mind and she shook her head. Weird that she doesn't remember... I made a black helicopter and got into the pilot's seat, with Ré in the copilot's seat. We rose up in altitude until we got above the clouds. My mind began to wander for awhile, but eventually I straightened myself out. I said, "Ready?" and she looked down, and nodded. We launched off, and made our way back onto the field. I noticed something about her when we landed. "Hey, you managed to keep your hat on this time!" I remarked, referencing the (Now seemingly far away) past. Afterwards, we ditched all the gear, I 'collapsed' the helicopter, and we chilled out as the sky began to turn not exactly sunset, but the first onset of it. I then asked her what was something sweet we haven't had before. Both of us struggled to come up with an answer. Finally, I realized we never had milkshakes before. I had a chocolate one, and Ré picked out a banana milkshake. I believe the one I gave her resembled these homemade ones this (Now closed down) ice cream shop I used to go to a very long time ago had. They were the best. After milkshakes, my body was reeeeeally starting to cramp up for some reason, probably my posture, so I finished mine, and waited for her's to finish as well, and told her I probably needed to be going back to reality. As usual, I'd keep contact via narrating, and she was free to go with me to the door. Gave a long hug this time. :P So yeah, Skydiving and Milkshakes. There is no better combination. True badassery right here. EDIT: I felt some kind of pressure on my forehead throughout this time. It felt almost like a slight pain, not nearly severe as a headache, but just a slight pain to be noticeable in my direct center of my forehead.
  12. NeoGC

    Ré.

    Days 44 and 45 DNF...I had a long weekend, trust me... Day 46 10:07 PM - 10:37 PM So, my forcing session was pushed back to the night time, and I'm afraid it's gonne be the same for tommorow/tonight, as of writing this. Still, I had a nice little time with Re. We laid out and talked about quite a few interesting things actually. I think I recall asking her a few questions about herself, and I think I may or may not have gotten some answers. XD Still, what little I can actually remember I do recall having a nice, pleasant time with her. It seems our time together is more lazing around and relaxing than adventuring and doing cool stuff...I should probably think up some cool stuff to do, shouldn't I? Heh...
  13. NeoGC

    Ré.

    Ré – Day 41 DNF Ré – Day 42 10:15 PM – 11:30 PM Although quite tired, I still tried my best to spend time with Re, just talking and being with her. Not a whole lot to say here, I began to lose whatever awakeness I had near the end, and a lot of this session is a blur… :/ Ré – Day 43 4:13 PM – 5:04 PM Learning from the past, I finally got some time out of this surprisingly busy week and forced. I relaxed and entered the usual area, to see Ré just kind of wandering around and hanging out until she spotted me, and I approached her. She exchanged a wave and I said hello. Through this session, I cannot remember all the details (I really should start writing these logs as soon as I finish…) but I do remember some things that stood out. I remember visualizing a plane (Think like a biplane) and I piloted while Ré sat in the passenger’s seat. We had headsets on IIRC, and this provided a great view of the overworld of sorts and some places beyond the field, which we should explore some day. Besides the plane, we did quite a bit of talking about stuff, and I swore I got instant thoughts from her, a tiny bit more frequently than before. Could It be?! Progress, at last, in this slow week??
  14. NeoGC

    Ré.

    Ré - Day 40 3:11 PM - 4:11 PM Today was relaxing, much like yesterday. I walked into the area to find Ré sitting cross-legged on the ground, relaxing. As I went up to her, the phone rang through the house, and I figured I probably should answer it, as I know who it may be. After answering the phone and ensuring there would be no further distractions, I laid back down and eventually focused (This being the actual start time logged, now. What happened before was interrupted, and thus I don't count it towards the time.) intently. Ré was in that same spot that she was in just a few moments ago, so I sat down there with her, saying hi and the usual greetings. We had a short picnic of tortellini (Because I was feeling Italian...and it was the good stuff...not that cheap crap you might find at buffets or cheap resturants) and then we kinda just spend the rest of our time just doing whatever. We hung out, talked, I think I remember us sitting by the water near her house...I don't really remember the things we talked about, but it was a nice, stress relieving chat about really just anything in particular. Most of the things I described in my last post seemed to have happened again today. By that, I mean me immediately thinking of things, even if it's just a word or two, it comes straight to mind. I think I can safely come to the conclusion that this is Ré's doing, and this really makes me happy and excited for the future!
  15. NeoGC

    Ré.

    Day 37 DNF Day 38 DNF...I need to get better with my schedule... Ré Day 39 10:15 PM - 11:30 PM I had a pretty busy day, what with my stepbrother coming home from the military, and the party we threw for him. Still, i decided i should give forcing at night another shot. After some time of relaxing, i entered the field and it was nighttime. Ré was leaning onto the swing. She was looking out at the field, and I called out to her while walking to her. She turned around and faced me. I told her hi, and she smiled at me. I asked her how her day was and asked how she was feeling. I looked at the sky and saw that it was full of stars and very beautiful. Moonlight illuminated the field, almost acting as a sun at nighttime. We laid on the field and all I can remember is a discussion about Nebulas, and some other small talk... We stargazed and just chatted, really. She may have given me a mindvoice response like she has before but I can't quite remember. I do remember thinking about walking to the city at night, and that there would be fireworks, but I don't remember if the idea was ever acted upon. Still, even though my mind wandered, it was a nice, calm little time with her. The small room that I start in to open the door to the field feels reminiscent of Castle Oblivion from Kingdom Hearts...