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Camera

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    and Faharan

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  1. I lost my tablet, so this was shakily sketched out with a trackpad, but here's an attempt at Faharan.
  2. I've heard people talking about "intensive" forcing on here, and I'm just wondering what constitutes forcing intensely.
  3. 3:41 PM Well, I'm pretty sure that the responses I got were intrusive thoughts, but I do have near-proof of Faharan's existence. My doubts were getting worse and worse as the day progressed, and I was not only starting to doubt his responses, I was doubting the whole concept of tulpas. I was starting to get really upset and anxious, and I was kind of getting into a mindset of "he's not really there, I haven't gotten any proof of sentience, I'll never be able to make a tulpa, I'm doing everything wrong," and I was actually on the verge of tears, when suddenly I felt a sharp burst of pain in my left temple. Immediately, I snapped back to reality. Feeling kind of shaky and disoriented, I apologized to Faharan for doubting him. I still feel awful. I felt like I guilted him into giving a response. But still, I'm 99% sure that the head pain was Faharan telling me to get it together. Edit: 8:45 PM I got about an hour and a half of active forcing done in total today. Not much else to say that wasn't covered in the earlier posts.
  4. April 26, 11:33 AM (Day 10) I'm freaking out and confused. I was on a bike ride, happily narrating and asking questions every so often, when I thought I heard Faharan say something in a mindvoice. I asked if it was him, and got no response. Just as an experiment, I then asked, "What's your favorite food?" I then heard, in the same mindvoice, a very hesitant "Sauerkraut." I can promise you that sauerkraut was the last thing on my mind at that moment. It came as a complete surprise. I then asked a few more questions, with no response. It feels like parroting, though. My doubts are running rampant. And I'm only ten days in. Oh god I have no idea what to think.
  5. April 25 (Day 9) Totally forgot to update this yesterday, so here's yesterday's update. I'll post today's update tonight. I only got about ten minutes of active forcing done yesterday. I wasn't really feeling good, and I was really mentally exhausted. Passive forcing was also less than usual. To make up for that, I'm going to try to do as much forcing as possible today. That's all. It was an uneventful day, to say the least.
  6. April 24 (Day 8) Today was good. I felt Faharan's presence pretty strongly at various points throughout the day, and he felt more like an actual being in my head rather than a doll I was talking at. The headaches returned, but orange juice did seem to help. I got forty minutes of active forcing in today, and I may or may not try to cram in another twenty minutes before bed. During the forcing time, I mainly just worked on visualization and touch. Basically, I ran my hands all over his coat and tried to visualize him in as much detail as possible. I'd say it was fairly productive. I'm also planning on reading to him at some point tonight. As I type, I'm getting a strange headache around the back of my head, and it seems to be focused in a very concentrated area. I take that as progress.
  7. Puppeting isn't necessarily a bad thing in the early stages. When you're sure your tulpa is sentient, though, you can just stop making an effort to move her around. And 40 minutes sounds fine to me.
  8. If you're making a conscious effort to make her go behind you, then yes. Since you're this early in, I would assume that you are puppeting.
  9. From looking at your other posts, it looks like you've only been doing this for a couple of days. Give it time. Creating a tulpa is usually a long process. You seem to be off to a good start, though. Yes, that's a good way to force, especially if you've already mastered visualization. If you are making her move, you are puppeting her. If she is moving on her own, you are not puppeting her. Like I said, it seems like you're on the right track, so the best thing to do is to keep doing what you're doing and be patient. Read some progress reports and see how long it took some other users. I've seen some cases where the host didn't get a vocal response until 4-6 months in.
  10. April 23 (Day 7) Oh god, I'm so tired. Only got ten minutes of active forcing done today. I'm shooting for an hour tomorrow. I did, however, go on another long bike ride where I narrated the whole time. I got a lot of emotional reactions, I think. So there's that, at least. And I passive-forced throughout most of the day, as usual. I'm going to go to sleep early tonight so I can focus better on forcing tomorrow.
  11. Just to be clear, I wasn't saying that I believed the idea that I was unintentionally creating another tulpa, nor did I intend to try and "accidentally" make one. Thank you all for your input. I appreciate it.
  12. As a prelude to this post, my tulpa is only six days old at the moment, and I'm not a personal believer in the idea of so-called "insta-tulpas." Today, I was walking into my bedroom and narrating at the same time, and I noticed that my bedsheets had been changed. I told my tulpa this, and as I was in the middle of this, I heard a high-pitched mindvoice say "Wonderful!" very clearly (note: not an auditory hallucination, it was in my "mind's ear"). It was extremely unexpected and definitely didn't come from me. However, it didn't feel like it came from my tulpa, and the voice sounded nothing like what I'd imagined my tulpa's voice would be. I even asked Faharan if it was him, and heard no response. Could that have just been my subconsciousness messing with me? A user on the IRC suggested that I may be unwittingly developing a different tulpa- is that even possible? If not, what the hell could it have been?
  13. "Faharan" kind of came out of nowhere. Upon Googling it, it looks like there are a few people with the name, but it seems fairly uncommon.
  14. April 22 (Day 6) Faharan's a dude again. I don't know what the hell happened last night. Probably had something to do with the fact that I was kind of drugged with headache medicine. But yeah, he's back to being male. I didn't do as much active forcing as I'd have liked to today, but the little that I did was really nice. There was a fair amount of emotional reaction- mostly of calm contentment. I did quite a bit of passive forcing, though, as usual. I took a long bike ride this evening and narrated to Faharan the whole time, basically just talking to him about what I considered to be the nature of tulpas. One pretty strange thing did happen- I was walking over to my bed, and saw that there were new sheets on it, and as I was expressing this to Faharan via narration, I heard a high-pitched "Wonderful!" in my mind's ear (so to speak), completely clear, completely unexpected, and it definitely didn't come from me. The thing is, it didn't feel like it came from Faharan, either. As soon as I heard it, I asked him, "Faharan? Was that you?" multiple times, and there was no response. Anyway, that's all for today.
  15. I've heard that orange juice can help with forcing headaches. Nice to meet you!
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