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About BeholderJack

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  1. Hi, It's me again. I tried to do as the guide said, but it didn't help. Now i can barely imagine anything i want at all, i just keep seeing random places and situations when i try to. A few minutes ago i tried to imagine my wonderland, but was interrupted by this randomness again, but i also heard birds singing. And it's winter where i live, there are no signing birds yet. It was my imagination, but sounded so realistic. I start to worry. Could it possibly be a tulpa, not able to speak, but already able to affect my mind?
  2. Hello everyone, I'm new to the subject of tulpas, found out about them just about a week ago. Since then I have been trying to create a tulpa, but there is a problem. My imagination always was a little stubborn, it would do some things i didn't want it to do, like shut the imaginary door i just opened or other not important stuff. But when i started tulpaforcing, it went wild. Each day it gets worse. It all began when i tried to enter the relaxed state in order to enter wonderland. I tried going down stairs, counting steps. At first it was good, but then suddenly my head in my imagination started spinning, so i couldn't continue going down. I thought it was one of those little tricks and easikky stopped the spinning, then continued my way down. The next time i tried to use the same method, my head went spinning again, and it was rather hard to stop. It kept happening each time i tried to go down, one time my imaginary self even fell on his back which i did no make him do. Then i switched to another method and finally entered wonderland. I made a nice medieval basement with a sleeping room and a hall with some bookshelves and a table. But those tricks happened there too. After some time the doors in there became really hard to open, like they were magnetized, and even if i'd manage to open them, they would immediately shut themselves with furious force. One time i tried to stop a door from shutting, and it actually cut my fungers off. Then my head would stop obeying me, spinning just like on the stairs, objects would change their size etc. I tried to develop my tulpa's appearance. I made her sit on a chair, but then she jumped up and tried to strangle me. I couldn't fight her! I just opened my real eyes and stopped the session. Today it became insane! I had almost no control over what was happening in my wonderland: First i was in my basement, as i wanted to, but the next moment the floor cracked and i fell beneath it, appearing on a field. Surfaces would suck me inside of them each time i tried to appear in my basement, making me appear in random places. When i finally made it into my basement, i tried to edit my tulpa, but when i was editing her face, her head cracked and it looked as an SCP-173 statues' face. My imaginary body stopped obeying me, it fell on the ground and started shaking and spinning the head. I have nothing different from how things used to be in real world, but my imagination is uncontrollable. What should i do?