sushi

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Everything posted by sushi

  1. Today is Fenchurch's half-birthday. As of today, she's two and a half. I've been neglecting her, and I've suffered for it. Actually, I've been neglecting you all. I owe you an explanation. On February 9th, I started doing hypnosis online. I quickly discovered that almost nobody wants a male hypnotist -- both men and women tend to be more comfortable with women, and respond better to women. So I became a woman, purely so that I could practice. On April 20th, I was invited to a hypnosis chat that had just been created. People lined up for sessions with the "female" hypnotist, and I quickly burned out. After a few months, I took on a new female name, telling only those who were closest to me that I was the same person. Everyone else thought that I just didn't do sessions, and I was very glad not to have people asking. Occasionally I would come back as the first girl to do some quick sessions when I was in the mood, or when I wanted to prove a point, but that happened less and less as time went on. On September 4th, I bought the chat, upgrading it, and making me admin. This attracted a lot of new people in to the chat. Previously we were often 2-4 people in the chat, but after the upgrade, we sometimes had as many as 30. It was around this time that I met ... well, let's call them a couple. He was an active hypnotist, talking to everyone and doing sessions with everyone. She was quiet and spoke to nobody, but she was almost always online, waiting for him to get off of work, or for him to wake up -- they lived in very different time zones. One day, she asked me for help. I had twice the experience as a hypnotist that her man did, and I specialized in hallucination, which was what she was having problems with. I talked to her about it, and passed some tips on to him. A few days later -- October 24th, to be precise -- I checked in with her. She was miserable. I've found that people are more willing to open up when you first share some things about yourself, so I told her that I was really a man, and that I had a tulpa. In return, she told me that he had broken up with her. I made a private chat for her, and we went there and talked for days, and at some point we fell for each other. On October 29th, I hypnotized her for the first time. Over the next few weeks, we did about 40 sessions. But then I started noticing her doing more and more sessions with other people, and fewer and fewer with me. Eventually she told me that she thought it was unrealistic for us to be together, since there's an ocean between us, I don't speak her native language, and she feels like she can't leave her country. This entire time, I'd been talking to Fenchurch less and less. I think we still spoke most days, but usually only for a few minutes. I needed someone more than ever, but the person who would be there for me couldn't speak to me. I went through a few very low weeks. I left the chat, I left tulpa.info, and I spent my days in about six different private chats where certain people knew how to reach me. I was extremely depressed -- especially when we got about three feet of snow, and I was stuck in the house for a week straight. I came out as a man. That's one of the best things that came out of this. I got so horribly sick of hiding who I really was. People have been pretty accepting about it, but I can tell that it does change things much more than they admit to me. People who used to speak to me quite often now speak to me far less. At some point, I turned back to Fenchurch, and she's been an amazing help. I'm still not happy, but things are turning around, and I have more hope for my future. My ADHD has been making things worse these past few weeks. It feels like with everything I try, I run into a wall, and that wall is always ADHD. One of the reasons I got into hypnosis was because I wanted to use it for imposition. That's why I specialize in hallucination. But I'm extremely difficult to hypnotize, and it's my ADHD that makes me so difficult. I contacted a professional hypnotherapist about my problem, and she was trying to sell me lessons on EFT Tapping, which is essentially the placebo effect. Basically she'd given up on hypnotizing me before she'd even started. To get somewhere in life, I'm going to need to deal with this ADHD. So that's what I'm working on now. I'm not sure I'm going to be back here for a while. Things are getting better, but I'm still dealing with some stuff.
  2. You're right. Having sex with imaginary ponies was actually an even more frequent topic of discussion in 2012 than it is today. The only significant improvement in the 2012 threads over today's threads, in my humble opinion, is that imposition was discussed far more often then. But I agree with you. The forum is what we make of it. And very few people are doing anything to make anything of it. I think it's pretty much you, Lumi, and Yuki.
  3. The sad thing is that although this experience hasn't driven Mistgod away, I have seen people leave tulpa.info for other communities because of exactly this. That and I see a bit of myself on the veteran.
  4. Moved from research to general discussion.
  5. I'd like to play, but I probably shouldn't. Long-term commitments to games are a bit difficult for me at the moment. But if you do this again sometime, I'll try to get in.
  6. I probably shouldn't, but I want to play. What materials are we allowed to use for character creation? If possible, I'd be a Samurai/Monk/Sorcerer with the hypnotism skill -- that's the Oriental Adventures Samurai, not the other one. Fenchurch is more interested in Fighter/Knight. I'm kinda a 3.5 person, and that's what Pathfinder is made out of. :)
  7. Jean-luc Walking split into its own thread at jean-luc's request.
  8. My phone will die any second, so I can't give a full answer, but Tummo suggests that with enough training, a tulpa can cause the body to give off more heat.
  9. Thank you, Melian. There are some books there that I haven't read yet. I'll have to look into them.
  10. sushi

    Mass Leaving Thread

    I'm sorry to see you go as well, Linkzelda. You were the educated and intelligent voice of reason long before I ever found this forum. You answered questions with unequaled thoroughness, you had no qualms about voicing controversial opinions, your insights into hypnosis were an amazing help, and of course you were always the ur-example for dedicating a day to forcing. I hope you're successful wherever you go from here.
  11. Since this is no longer a question, I've moved it to General Discussion.
  12. Well, technically I was here in 2013, just under a different account. I'd been here almost a year before I became sushi. :)
  13. It's Me, Margaret. But yeah, I've enjoyed this podcast too, and would like to hear more.
  14. sushi

    Good vs. Evil

    Added jean-luc's rules to the OP.
  15. I agree with waffles. I don't exactly disagree with much in your guide, but I think this may be the sort of area where each person needs to find their own solution. And also I'd like to see how much your thoughts might change in the upcoming months. For me, initially, I wanted privacy. Then it became privacy only when I was falling asleep. Now it's not at all. I've found that when you're sharing thoughts with someone, there's lots of understanding and very little judgement. But maybe privacy is more important to some people.
  16. One post and an image deleted for harassment.
  17. One post deleted for harassment.
  18. More posts removed from here. Some of it was merged into the "Things to fix" thread, the rest deleted.
  19. I'm the only active mod, and I can usually only check the site from my phone. So yeah, moderation is not what it should be. I try to focus on actual violation of actual rules rather than people being annoyed with Mistgod. For the record, Mistgod doesn't actually break many rules.
  20. One post deleted for derailing the thread. I know this is the lounge, where anything goes, but don't we already have enough threads complaining about Mistgod? Please take any complaints about this thread to the typical Mistgod threads.
  21. I do believe the upper limit is connected to Dunbar's number in some way. 1015 does sound absurd to me as well.
  22. Someone has 1015 tulpas? Must be Maverickthecat.