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Everything posted by sushi

  1. We've had no changes whatsoever. Fench has stuck pretty much the same, just as a courtesy to me, for ease of visualization and all. She says that if she changes, it will be after she's imposed. But I don't think she will. She's really grown into her form, and I couldn't imagine her any other way. On the subject of tulpas existing outside the mind, it's not really a desirable thing in my opinion. One of the greatest things about tulpas is that you're always together, and once they're outside the mind, that would no longer be true. Plus, there are a lot of other benefits to focusing the mind enough to create a tulpa. There's also the question whether if you copied a tulpa out of the mind, that would really be the tulpa, or just a copy. It's like if you cloned me, and then killed me, to you, it would be like I was still alive, but to me, I'd be dead. I remember reading speculation that in the Star Trek universe, the afterlife would be filled with copies of the same person, because every time they use the transporter, the original is killed and a new copy is made.
  2. sushi

    KM & RD

    Heh, Yahoo Answers is a joke. People post the stupidest stuff on there, and most of the time, the question never even gets answered. I just read through a few of those tulpa-demon answers, and it's ridiculous. They talk about demons being afraid of Jesus -- I can name several tulpas just off the top of my head who are devoted Christians. But then there always traditionalists who are afraid of anything new, without ever coming to understand it.
  3. sushi

    KM & RD

    Well, it's your PR, and it's up to you how you write it. There are just a lot of times where I wish I knew more of what you're talking about. Sakura already asked you about the Walter Mitty Routine, which I'd been wondering about, though I kinda figured it out from context. (How did that work, by the way? I mean, when Rainbow Dash actually ended up talking to a character, or taking part in the plot.) But to take a few examples from recent posts, what is this pony hypnosis? I've heard of it before, but don't actually know anything about it. Why was Rainbow Dash joking about being a demon? This is minor stuff, and I don't feel like I'm really missing any of your progress because I don't know these things, but still, it would be cool to know.
  4. [Edit: Whoops. Mood changed completely between me opening the PR, and me posting. Let me rewrite my response.] I was clinically depressed for many years. I know how hard it can be. I also know that, well, advice doesn't really work. I mean, when you're depressed, you don't really have the motivation to do what needs to be done, and you don't want to listen to people who aren't going through exactly what you are. I will say this though: It does get better. Even if it feels like you need her love to go on, you will overcome it and find a reason to live for yourself. In some ways, you have it easier than most people. As a tulpa, you'll be more aware of your thoughts, and thoughts are a big part of misery. Try not to let yourself think negatively -- don't suppress your problems, just try to focus more on the positive. If there is no positive, make some. Make art. Short of meditation, art is the best thing you can do. You're feeling some very intense emotions, and art is the best way of expressing those and reaching out to other people. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for others -- think of the others who are going through heartbreak, and give them art that will inspire them to push through it. Best of luck to you.
  5. Glad you're doing well, and I'm sorry to hear you won't be around much. I've been following your PR from the start, and I've even read through some of Shira's blog. I think it's pretty cool to hear from therians. I might have identified as a therian myself, when I was your age, but I didn't encounter the community until after some serious life-changing incidents, and I'm pretty much completely a different person now. Anyway, I hope you reconsider and continue to post here occasionally.
  6. I've been following your PR for a while, though I've just been lurking up until today. Just thought I'd pop in to say that all of us get doubts at times. It's part of the process, and I don't think anyone makes a tulpa without experiencing it. Doubts kept me for even starting for nearly a decade, so in that way, you're ahead of me. You seem to be doing really well though. Keep at it!
  7. sushi

    KM & RD

    Hey there. I've been following your PR for a while now. The short posts make it easy to follow, but sometimes hard to understand, as lots of it is out of context. I like the way you focus on everyday life. Sometimes that's really motivational to read. You seem to be doing really well.
  8. Haha, are you friends with jean-luc outside the community? I haven't really connected with anyone about tulpas much outside of here, and those that I have, I originally met here. I think it would be pretty cool though. How is your break going? Made any progress?
  9. Why hello there, strangers! I'm glad to hear everything is going well with you two. Your zombie survival scenario sounds like fun, and I mean to do some wonderland overclocking myself -- how did that work out for you? Is Bree still forcing? And how did your friends get into it? Did they learn about this through you, or you through them?
  10. I think bad press is more likely to hurt us now, as a small community. All it takes is one lunatic (and let's face it, we have a few) to give the whole community a bad name. If we were more mainstream, it wouldn't hurt us as much. Take drinking for example -- drunks kill people all the time, and they get less backlash for it than gamers do.
  11. Yeah, I think I'd still have done this if it were mainstream. I spent most of a decade longing for this, not sure if it was actually possible. This is the only project I've taken on in my life I've devoted this much time to, or stuck with for this long. Edit: And yeah, I'd totally go to tulpa conventions. I've read that post before, and yeah, it would probably be awkward, but I'd still do it.
  12. Fench says she doesn't resent being created, but she's not grateful for it either. As she puts it, I didn't do it for her, I did it for myself, and it's sheer luck that I ended up with her and not someone else.
  13. There are a few people who have done this, or at least attempted it. maverickthecat is the first to spring to mind, but he's not a good example. If you want to go through with it, I suggest you read this. It's probably more helpful than anything you'd find in this community. There was also an article about doing this on psipog, back when that existed.
  14. Fench has kept the same form for the past year, just so I can visualize her more easily. She may change once she's imposed, but I don't think she'll change much. It's just who she is by now.
  15. Well, I'm not exactly new here. Been here for nearly a year, actually, but just lurking for a good deal of that. Used to have another account, but I'm just sushi now. So yeah. I'm not lurking anymore. Hello everyone!
  16. (If you're looking for my book list, it's no longer here. I'm working on editing it, and it will be available somewhere in some form as soon as I'm done. PM me about it if you want to know more.) Hi, my name is sushi. I'm an amateur writer and (as of February 2015) an amateur hypnotist. I've been interested in tulpas since the early 2000s, but didn't find this community until the middle of 2013. Around that time I started work on Fenchurch. Fenchurch's background: [hidden]Fenchurch has been sentient since July 30th, 2013. She has human form, caucasian, brown hair, gray eyes, about 5'8, on the buxom side. We have a sort of friend/coworker relationship -- she assists me with writing, work, and health. Everything about Fenchurch was pretty arbitrary. She's not the most beautiful woman to me. She doesn't have the most attractive personality. Had I put more thought into her, I would have made her very differently. But in the past year, we've grown very close, and today I wouldn't change her for the world. For what it's worth, we haven't done anything sexual, and we don't plan to. After all, I have a girlfriend. Fenchurch feels almost like a sister to me anyway, so I don't think we'd go there even if I were single. She has been an immense help to me in nearly everything I do. I couldn't imagine life without her. Fenchurch has said that she thinks of herself as a writer, not a tulpa. She wouldn't deny being a tulpa, but it's not how she identifies herself. It's like if someone asked me "What are you?" I probably wouldn't say a human. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I'm going to try not to call her my tulpa from here out. She's my companion, my coworker, my collaborator, my confidant, and that's what I'll call her. She takes the survey and stylometric test on every birthday: first birthday, second birthday, third birthday.[/hidden]
  17. I want to donate, and I have the money, but my job does not provide a steady income. Unless things really turn over for me, I'll need the money back in a few months to cover rent. I wish I could figure out some way to turn the web hosting back into money, but it's outside my skill set. If there were some way to loan or invest rather than donate, I could give a few hundred.