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Everything posted by sushi

  1. Trust me, that's not poor social skills. That's just women. If she says she's fine, she's not, and you're probably in big trouble. Have a hidden stash of chocolate for emergencies like this. It's your choice whether you have relationships with humans or not. It might be for the best of you don't -- I don't know you, so it's not my place to say, and only you can decide that. I just don't want you to think you can't
  2. Yeah, I went for years thinking that I'd never have a girlfriend, or that I'd never have a girlfriend again. That may be one of the things that got me into tulpas to begin with. But yeah, you'll probably be surprised by how much things change in the next 15 years.
  3. I'm nowhere near Montreal. Why can't they ever do these studies in DC?
  4. We did too. We think she came up with her current name, but neither of us really remembers.
  5. All the same, I approve of telling therapists. Unless they think your life or someone else's life is in danger, I don't think they're going to be telling anyone, and I think most therapists know that tulpas aren't harmful. Plus of course it helps when the therapist knows what's really going on in your life.
  6. I'm going to second what the others have already said. What you're experiencing is not a tulpa, and you should really talk to a professional about it. Where I come from, mental health professionals charge you based on your income, so that even people with very little money can still afford it. See if it's the same where you live.
  7. sushi

    Mass Leaving Thread

    As I said before, I don't want to see you guys go. But you're right, there are some real jerks here. Whenever the staff does anything about it, they're accused of making into a hugbox or a circlejerk. It's one of those situations where there doesn't seem to be any way to win because everyone wants different things from this community.
  8. I've done the whole cross-legged meditation thing. Partly because I've done actual meditation for years. Though I haven't done either forcing or meditation anywhere near enough. I need to get back to that stuff.
  9. Yes, you got lucky. My girlfriend got furious with me when I told her. She's only with me now because for the last two years I've been doing all of this stuff in secret. But the worst horror story is easily Hound's. His mother and his pastor convinced him that his tulpa was demonic, and told him to kill her -- which he did. Is it ever really worth your friends and family and boss or school authorities thinking you're insane or possessed by demons? Rumors spread fast, and this is a rumor that has the potential to ruin your life. Be careful, and be absolutely sure that it's worth telling someone before you do.
  10. You won't get a tulpa with a deformed face unless you try to visualize your tulpa with a deformed face. At first you'll probably have trouble -- nose too big one time, nose too small the next. But those will average out over time and you'll get a normal nose. In addition, the more you visualize, the better you'll get at it, and the more likely it will be that the nose will come out right every time.
  11. Aphantasia is supposedly really common, but I don't remember ever actually talking to anyone on here who had it. It makes me wonder if people who are just "out of practice" with visualization get misdiagnosed as having aphantasia all the time. How are you at Tetris? In theory, someone with aphantasia should have a lot of difficulty with Tetris, as before fitting the pieces together, you have to visualize how the pieces would fit together. You probably just need practice with visualization. Most people who haven't done a lot of visualization are pretty crap at it.
  12. Fenchurch and I do not have a romantic relationship, and I doubt we ever will. If we did, however, I would not disclose her existence to my girlfriend. It's easy to imagine a relationship with a human going bad, and them wanting to ruin your life and telling your friends and your boss that you hear voices, and potentially getting you fired or costing you other relationships. Not a risk for Mistgod, but for someone like me who's never had a relationship last very long, I think it's a very real risk.
  13. You can withhold memories and thoughts. When I started out, I withheld all memories and thoughts. After a while, I came to the conclusion that it didn't really matter. Tulpas are probably the closest thing to unconditional love that most of us will ever get. They often see your dark secrets the way you might see them yourself. Perhaps not entirely approvingly, but completely accepting of you. As to the voice, you've got it. Listen to the voices often, imagine something between them, and if you want to do even more, you could use software to digitally mix the voices together. I believe there's a program called Voice Converter that does that.
  14. Mistgod is insecure about Melian? I don't see how you can reach that conclusion. About half of the parts Mistgod had made have been advertising how Melian is different from tulpas. If anything, I'd say he's proud of it.
  15. I believe Chupi has done it, and others as well, though I'm not remembering other names. Definitely no negative effect.
  16. Try writing him a letter. I've heard that's worked for people in this sort of situation in the past.
  17. I think we've done something like this. To be honest, I'm a bit ashamed of it, but I think Fenchurch and I have kinda been becoming a sort of fused personality quite often lately. This fused personality of ours has a name of her own (actually she has five names), and she's made up of parts of us. It scares me. Sometimes when we're not even fused, I find her thoughts seeping into my own. Not in the "did I say that or did you?" sense that young tulpas go through. I mean I'm genuinely thinking that I'm someone other than myself. I'll be thinking to myself "Oh he's just doing that because he's a man. Men are like that." and then I have to remind myself "No, *I'm* a man!" I've even had dreams recently where I'm a woman and going on dates with men I know. It's not a sexual orientation thing, or a gender identity thing. And believe me, I've considered those possibilities. But I'm a straight man. It's just that sometimes I'm not me. I want to put an end to Jessica. I really want it to just be me and Fenchurch as two distinct people. But unfortunately there are other factors involved, and I think Jessica will be around for a while.
  18. Yes, by all means, let's keep kids from making imaginary friends. I've known dozens of people who are significantly over the age of 18 and claim to have seen auras. It's imposition.
  19. First of all, I don't have a pony tulpa. Never have, never will. But why should it matter if someone does? Even if someone decides that they don't want a pony tulpa around when they hit 30, it's not like tulpas' forms and names are set in stone. And also, who's to say that MLP somehow becomes obsolete after a few years have passed? Bugs Bunny is 75 this year. Betty Boop is 85. Mickey Mouse is 87. All of them are still cultural icons.
  20. Look at the member list. Sort it by post count. At 30 per page, the first members who have actually posted appear on page 218. That means there are more than 6,500 people who have registered for this site and never posted. If nobody lurked and everybody who came here contributed, we'd be busy as all hell.
  21. Same here, I suppose. What you could do is exist in a most-likely reality based on memories, inferences, and extrapolation. Thus the sign might say "Keep off the grass" when you read it, but resolves itself into "No littering" when your host reads it. Don't see your reality as any less valid, just less objective. You might also embrace that your reality is not that of your host. The sign might say "Please do not vandalize this sign" when you look at it, even after your host has already read it. There could be pink unicorns lurking around every corner that turn invisible when your host gets near. I would love to get that far. That's my dream diet: spinach that tastes like cookies! Or at least spinach that tastes like floppy, wet, leafy cookies. Maybe cookies aren't the best taste to overlay there, but you get where I'm going with this.
  22. So you're saying quantity over quality? That feels a bit odd to me, as it seemed to me that you were suggesting in Mistgod's thread that our community should have standards of quality.
  23. Personally, imposition got me into tulpas to begin with. I first heard about tulpas around ten years ago, before there was a tulpa community, and everything about tulpas online was about imposition -- most of it was about Alexandra David-Neel. When I first came here, I saw imposition as the defining trait of tulpas. Imposition is still very important to me. I've always wanted a holodeck in my head, and I started on Fenchurch two years ago so that she could help me with that, among other things. Obviously she means much more than that to me now, but I still want to achieve imposition, and I wish this community focused more on that. Imposition is definitely not a short-term goal. I've been working on it for more than two years without making much progress. But then it's also one of the few long-term goals tulpa forcing has -- I feel like Fenchurch was"done" in all other respects within days of me starting her. She's continued to develop since then, but it's been development in the sense that I've continued to develop after adulthood -- gradual changes to personality over time, not becoming any more of a person.
  24. In the early days of this community, everyone was working toward imposition. These days, virtually nobody is. To newbies, the thought of spending hours in meditation on a tulpa's form must seem absurd. But let's bring back the old ways. Everyone who's working on imposition, or at least interested in it, join me in this thread and we'll party like it's 2012. Or at least talk about imposition and the other little things like eidetic memory that seem to go hand in hand with it. So who is working on/has achieved imposition, and what methods are you using/have you used?