Today was another very intense day.
Things were pretty normal this morning, passive forcing, etc.
I decided to call my tulpa 'bestie' for now so that I'd at least have SOMETHING to call him/her.
I narrated verbally all through lunch. That was interesting actually, I noticed that I seemed to have a larger than normal interest in all the birds. It seemed to me like my tulpa really likes birds. Then for some reason I got the feeling that my tulpa wanted to have a bird-type-name like Dove, or Wren, or Pheonix. I didn't know. So... I asked! I wanted to be sure that this 'feeling' I had that my tulpa wanted to be named like that was real, annnnnd the response I got was a fairly solid 'No.' Oh well.
During the last hour or so of my day at work I was reading some guides on bringing out the voice in your tulpa, when I got an idea!
So on my way home in the car I went back and forth between explaining what a radio is and how it works to my tulpa, and having my tulpa focus on what the sound coming from the radio... well... sounds like.
We did this all the way home, then after I got home I set up pink noise to play from my laptop headphones, arranged it so it only took a button-press to turn the pink noise on, then settled down to active force. I spent a few minutes meditating, then went to wonderland and worked at creating myself a little radio-room. I set my tulpa in another room to transmit to me, and in the receiving room I put a radio receiver with a few dials and such, a tv screen (a black Panasonic, interestingly) and a little monitor thingy that could attach to my chest.
Then I moved my hand just enough to hit the button to turn on the pink noise, and in my wonderland I turned on the radio. Doing this really destabilized things though and I had to take a minute or so just to get things back together. I had to fight for a bit because the walls to my room kept shifting to transparent, revealing white pillars stretching off into infinity in all directions. Crazy.
Anyway, I got the radio on and my wonderland settled again, and focused. I watched the tv and listened to the radio. It didn't go quite as planned, largely because I had an incredibly difficult time maintaining concentration. A much harder time than normally, oddly enough. And also oddly, I found vision being kinda engulfed by the tv, like suddenly all I could see was the static of the tv.
Then some very interesting stuff happened.
First, a name flashed, but I could only catch the first few letters. Ty...something. It felt like Tyrone or Tyrelle, but I couldn't tell. It flashed too fast. It was very clear though, like a definite imprint in the static.
Then, I saw a flash of a man's face, which was immediately replaced with a woman's. The woman's face actually stayed for a few seconds, eventually fading away. Both of them had dark hair, a red bandanna, and olive colored skin.
So I'm a little shocked right?
I try to get a little more out of this. I realize that I hadn't really heard anything, so I turn off the tv in the wonderland and focus on listening and feeling for feelings. I don't get much at all, and eventually stop.
After I pull myself back to reality, moving was difficult, but I managed. I took a few minutes to clarify some stuff with my tulpa. The first thing I needed to know... is s/he a guy or a girl? I closed my eyes and focused and asked, and asked again. I insisted that s/he use his feelings and not headpressures. Eventually I get that he is a guy. He was trying to do what I wanted. I insisted that he do what he wants. I then pulled up lists of boy names that start with "Ty" and asked what his name is. Took a little bit, and it's slightly vague, but I am pretty sure his name is Tyrone.
I'm thrilled, and surprised. The last name I was expecting was Tyrone. (Ok, there are probably other names I would expect less, but seriously)
I go on IRC, feeling very tired all of a sudden, and chat a bit. Someone asks me to describe Tyrone and I picture him in my mind for a second. I didn't catch what his eye color was before, so I wanted to see if I looked closely at what I could remember if I would see it. What happened instead shocked me. I saw, very clearly, brown eyes.
Okay then! Tyrone has apparently gotten much better and sending me images. Or rather, he has gained that ability, since he couldn't do that before.
So yeah, now I'm exhausted, and he is exhausted. I seem to be able to feel his presence and his opinions a lot better, and, well, yeah. I'm slightly overwhelmed right now.
So an overview of my tulpa's current appearance:
Male, Dark brown hair, short beard, brown eyes, olive skin
Wearing a red bandanna
Looks rather rogue-ish