SarahLogic

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About SarahLogic

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  1. Tulpas are a fantastic internal support group and they can understand how you feel better than anyone else. I would definitely recommend confiding in them and getting their support and advice. It's helped me through the roughest semester of my life. I don't know where I'd be without my guys. But also remember that they can't solve all your problems and should not be a replacement for professional help. You still need to reach out to other body-friends and possibly a counselor or therapist (depending on your issues) for help. You and your tulpas can't help you alone. They only know as much as you do, although they have different perspectives because of their personalities, and they can reach the subconscious parts of your mind that you cannot. For additional help and options, you NEED to seek external aid. I hope this helps!
  2. Yes, I wasn't too clear in the original post. Most of the time, I drive just fine. I'm a defensive driver, but not overly paranoid. There are just a few instances of when I'm put into increasingly stressful situations but have to get home and there are no other body-people to take the wheel for me where I can't seem to get calm, and I'm also at a place on a road where I can't stop (like in a construction area or going over a bridge for example). In these cases, both of my tulpas are calmer than I am and try to help me to verbally calm down but I think that if one could move in for possession, it would be like instantly switching to a calmer driver (and subconsciously getting myself to calm down in a pinch when there's no other option). My plan is to train both my tulpae in how to drive cars and the rules of the road and work with some possession all before I would actually use this on the road (and in fact, I have no desire for the use of possession other than in situations like this).
  3. Well with my tulpas' permission, I'm sharing our information for all of us. Prajit is (panromantic) asexual and non-libidoist so he has no interest in masturbating. Jake is heterosexual (panromantic) and has a sex drive, so he admitted that he masturbates when he's got alone time. I'm (panromantic) demisexual (but with a low sex drive) and only sexually attracted to people with v*ginas, and I occasionally masturbate. I was up front with my guys from the get go that bathroom and sexual stuff should be kept private. Like I'm not shameful or secretive about masturbating per se, but we all agreed on the rules I laid down of "please let's just do it on our own time, if you're havin' sexy time, I don't wanna know." We also don't have any sexual relationship with each other because--first of all--our identities don't match up, and secondly, even though I don't see them as my children or even necessarily as brother figures, it would still feel weird to me in a way I can only describe as incestuous. I don't care what other people/tulpas do, but it's just not for us. I've never dated anyone before so there's no data available on sex with other body-people.
  4. I searched around for answers to this already posted, but couldn't find anything, hence my starting a thread to ask (but I apologize in advance if there's already a thread on this out there). Sometimes when I'm driving, I get really distracted or stressed or over-emotional, and end up not driving my car very safely. I'm wondering if I should work on possession/switching with my tulpae so they can take over driving my car for me when I end up in situations like this. Do any of you have experience with allowing your tulpa to drive your car? Do you think it's safer or more dangerous?
  5. I made basic friendship bracelet type things that are plenty of simple guides for online and just use different colored threads. I chose colors that reminded me of Jake and Jit respectively and made a bracelet for each of them, and now I wear them all the time.
  6. Prajit is more scientifically inclined (that's my worst subject in school @A@) and Jake is way more active/sporty/adventurous and I'm a lazy indoor person. Prajit and I are fine but a lot of times, I feel like I'm letting Jake down because he'll want us to go do something fun and exciting and I just wanna sit in my room sewing/drawing and watching videos. . .
  7. I'm suffering from depression, social anxiety, A.D.D., and depersonalization (from servitors I've had since I was about five. That's a really long story but let's just say I've essentially had "imaginary friends" my whole life, like tulpas, but I was doing it wrong, and it was messing me up. I brought Jake and Jit into being so they could help me retrain my brain and keep me in line when I try to stray from my new rules about this). I've read guides about whether or not to make tulpae when you have mental disorders, and it seems the general consensus is half-and-half: either they help a ton, or screw you up even more. Personally, I believe that the result all depends on how you're thinking while in the creation process. If you expect your issues to negatively affect your tulpae, then it will, but if you raise them on positive thoughts, kindness, and patience, than they will become a fantastic support system for you and give you the good advice you can't give yourself. That's what Jake and Jit have been doing for me. Whenever I'm getting antsy about interactions with other bodily people in my life and what they must be thinking about me (I'm very paranoid and over-sensitive), Prajit will explain that that's probably not what they're thinking of me at all, and I shouldn't beat myself up about it. Jake usually takes more the "I say **** 'em." approach which I can't do of course because I care too much but it makes me feel better. They also cuddle/hug/brush my hair with their fingers, etc. when I need emotional, physical-comfort support and am crying. When I start having suicidal thoughts, they remind me of all the people who care about me, and that I should live for those people, myself, and also my tuppers. They point out all the times things have gotten better after I've thought they wouldn't, stuff like that. Essentially, they're the kind voices of reason and optimism that I can't be for myself. The only bad things are that I sometimes become concerned that the burden of always trying to keep me happy will weigh too heavy on them. I try to not have those doubts, because that's what would actually make that come true for them, but at the same time, I don't want to just dismiss it. Otherwise, I feel like I'm just ignoring their feelings. And I don't feel good about them spending so much time focusing on me because then I feel selfish. I asked the others on the tulpa irc chat for advice and they suggested I make sure to tell my guys that they can always ask to take some time for themselves if it gets to be too much for them, so I did. That helped. Jake also told me to picture a lot of my frustrations and anxieties as creatures that he can fight (because he's athletic and adventurous, and it's fun for him, and he feels it's a better way for him to help me because he's not as good with words like Prajit is). I was worried he'd get hurt, but he assured me that if it would be fine. All the same, I put protective barriers around the home base in our wonderland so if he needs to retreat, there's a safe place. My other concern is that, because I have the sort of A.D.D. where I'm not jittery but I just get distracted easy or get too extrememly focused on one particular thing (like a fandom I'm into), that I keep dragging them all over the place with my thoughts when we're in the wonderland, or I'll end up pushing them to the back of my mind in the latter case. For example, we were active forcing last night, and I wanted to try bending (like in Avatar the Last Airbender) because we'd all been watching it and they thought it was fun, but not two minutes into that, I already wanted to try shrinking down and exploring a giant forest, etc. Basically, dragging them all over the place instead of enjoying one thing at a time. In the other instance, when I try to rewatch an old fandom with them because I'm introducing it to them, my old servitor days hits me hard and I start thinking/saying/doing the same stuff with my old servitors from those shows like I did before, and I all but forget about Jake and Jit, who have to remind me they're there and that I promised I wouldn't be doing this anymore. *sigh* Well we're working on it. I truly to believe that this is much more for the better than the worse, though. I'm sorry this post is so long >A>;
  8. For me, I actually had to draw my guys out before I was able to properly visualize them. I had a general idea of their sex, race, clothing, eye/hair color, etc, but I just wasn't seeing them. So I tried drawing them out (I'm an illustration major after all) and it helped me a great deal. I had no clue what Jake's haircut was supposed to be so I tried a few different things and I felt his approval when I hit on the right thing. There are still some details I haven't fleshed out yet, but I've got what they look like down for the most part.
  9. I make sure I've eaten and gone to the bathroom, that the lighting and temperature is how I like it, all so I won't get distracted. Then I'll put on headphones with calming meditation music (which Jake hates, but it helps me focus and clear my head so I can hear him better, so he can get used to it. )
  10. I was just going to work on one first and then make another so the first wouldn't be lonely, but Jake's really outgoing and doesn't have anyone to talk to when I need to study (otherwise he keeps bugging me and I don't get work done) so I'm now working on the second even though I haven't fully fleshed Jake out yet. Prajit's on the way, but I don't think he's gonna be so quick to party with Jake because he's calmer and kind of shy XD
  11. I actually have been more or less tulpamancing by accident since I was about 6, but I realize now they were more like servitors. Anyway, the way I had been doing it up to this point wasn't right and it was making them and myself unhappy, so now I've decided to create original, truly sentient tulpae to help retrain my mental processes into helping me become a more productive person. I'm lonely, so I want close companions, but I also want them to help give me advice and encourage me to be more outgoing, try new things, etc. This is also why I'm doing it. I'm too lost in myself and Jake is encouraging me to get out and do shit--for him, if not myself, at least.