Redback Spino

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About Redback Spino

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    Just plain nuts...

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    So I mostly came to the idea of tulpas from an occultist point of view. Y'know, linking the idea to concepts like shamanist power-animals, witches' familiars, chaos-magick servitors and egregores, and the Holy Guardian Angels of Thelema. And while I am now alot more intrigued in the more scientific view on Tulpas (As manifestations of one's psyche or whatever), I still like to put a slightly more mystical slant on my methods.

    Current tulpa project is Deortabe, a female deer with glittery hooves. I first met her as m power-animal when I was experimenting with shamanism a few years back, so I figured what the hey, might as well use her as a good starting point for an honest-to-goodness Tulpa.
  1. And another nice moment on the train earlier today (I find myself in the right state of mind quite often on the train to uni: Still tired from the previous night, but not so tired I doze off while forcing, or so awake that I can't focus my thoughts). I started my usual visualisation of her on the train alongside me, and this time, I ended up imagining a little scenario where she was sitting by the seats, resting her chin on the armrest. Then, without even thinking about it, in this visualisation I reach over, pick her up (She was about the size of a smallish dog at this point) and pull her into a hug, allowing her to sit with me for the rest of the journey. And when the day was over, I imagined her joining me on the return journey home. Not quite as vivid a mental image, but I could certainly feel like she was there beside me.
  2. Focused more on visualisation today, definitely feeling like I'm getting back in the swing of things. Instead of working on physical form, however, I focused more on movement, by starting with her in a white void, and putting different objects in the void and seeing how she reacts and interacts. It was simple things like a ball, which she poked and bounced with a forehoof, a snake which she recoiled from in fear, understandably, as well as having her do a few simple walk-cycles. Being an animator, alot of this stuff was pretty simple to envision, and will be helpful in determining her personality and character (You can tell alot about a person, especially an animated character, just by how they walk). I've also started reading the New52 Animal Man comics, partly because I loved his character in the Justice League Canada comics, but also because I found out about a very interesting concept in the Animal Man comics: The Red and the Green. The Red is a sort of abstract plane, that acts as a collective conscousness of all animal life on earth, while the Green is the same thing for all Plant Life, with the Red being where Animal Man gets his powers, and the Green being where Swamp Thing gets his. Needless to say they both invoke some pretty bizarre imagery, which could end up making for some very interesting wonderland walks...
  3. I got something similar, in my case a pendant I always wear, which I associate with Deortabe. I don't necessarily narrate or remember to interact with her with it, but she's pretty much always on my mind at least a bit.
  4. Did another session with her, first time in a long while that we just sat down and talked. Or rather, that we sat down and I talked to her. We just chatted about the events of today, which were pretty eventful, so there was alot to talk about. Still no talking back, but it was still reassuring to have her there listening. I have a feeling she'll be very handy in that regard, as a sympathetic ear.
  5. Day 25 Finally got a chance to do some active forcing, this time going back to the tried-and-true method of forcing to music. Using another Peter Crowley piece, we found ourselves in a similar vast, green countryside to last time, except with much more trees, and even a flowery meadow or two. It was a beautiful little moment for us both. I also noticed her shapeshifting a bit throughout the whole thing, sometimes being a normal deer, and sometimes taking on a more anthropomorpic appearance (I think, my visualisation is still a bit iffy). I had already established that she could change her size, but now her form as well? Now that's an interesting development. In the end, I settled down for the night and invited her to cuddle up with me. I'm not certain if she did, but I know I felt a little bit warmer last night.
  6. Could be. Or even like a Game Grumps thing, just sort of spitballing, free-association sort of thing, whatever comes to mind. I've found myself just sitting down, doing free-association, talking about anything that springs to mind to her.
  7. It has been tooooooooooo long since I had any update. Things have sorta slowed down for me and Deortabe again, with me still struggling to find time in the day to do proper effective forcing sessions. Still, I managed to squeeze in a good half hour or so today, and managed to get some interesting results: Another wonderland-visit, though my visualisation was definitely having an off-day, as nothing seemed particularly distinct or really corporeal. But while I was making smalltalk with Deortabe, I can't remember exactly how but we got onto the subject of exactly what she should call me. I told her my normal name was alright, as well as a few variations, but she seemed to like the idea of 'dad'. I was honestly pretty surprised by this, but it's still a pretty adorable sentiment. So then, 'dad' it is! Other than that, we just had a day together, watching some movies, me talking to her a bit, the usual. But again, visualisation was having an off-day and I'm pretty out of practice.
  8. Well I tend to talk to myself a whole lot, so until I've got actual sentience, I just change it so when I start talking to myself, I direct it at her instead. Otherwise, I just sort of imagine her following me around whenever I can. Seems to work well.
  9. I wonder, would it be possible to make one's tulpa able to change their size? Because the image of Deortabe as the size of a housecat sitting in my lap, or the size of a mouse and travelling around in my pocket is freaking adorable.
  10. Huh, turns out I've kinda done something like this with Deortabe before. Not exactly imposition, but picturing the area around me as a mindscape. Gives me something to do on train rides to university, sort of picture her sitting in the seat next to me, or walking around in the carriage. Visualisation is still an issue for me, but it does help hammer in the idea of her being present.
  11. Redback Spino


    Sadly, living in a very classy neighbourhood in Central London means I don't get to do much in terms of halloween fun. But this year will hopefully be different, since my gf is inviting me to a halloween party at her uni. Maybe I'll get a chance to break out my OX costume again :D
  12. Oh of course, of course. I just meant that I would be taking a break for a few days from proper, all-the-way-wonderland-journeying-with-tulpa sort of daily active forcing. Stuff like passive forcing or chatting or a bit of visualisation will stay though, and it's just for a couple days. Though due to college commitments I may cut down to only active forcing every few days, as opposed to trying to squeeze in a bit every day. Plus, I've found in the past for things like guided meditations, shamanic journeying, binaural beats and the like, that I seem to get better results when I do them in long sessions every few day or every weekend, as opposed to doing short sessions every day. No idea how that works, but it's something I've noticed before.
  13. This is pretty reassuring to read. I've been trying to do at least a bit of active forcing every day, but recently I've been having trouble getting into the forcing mindset and actually doing any active sessions with Deortabe. I'm thinking we might just take a few days off to cool down.
  14. I've never actually managed to get a proper voice out of Deortabe, but in the few times when I have been able to communicate and talk with her, I've sometimes noticed a strange sort of chilled or cold sensation. I think it's some sort of surprise-response when I recognise that a thought or a sound or an image in my mind is something that I didn't consciously think of. But whatever it is, it does make it pretty apparent when something I'm seeing in my mind is not consciously from my mind. I've only had it a few times in the te I've been working, but I know it when I feel it.
  15. Pegasus. One of my greatest fantasies is to be able to fly. Boxers or briefs?