Redback Spino

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Everything posted by Redback Spino

  1. And another nice moment on the train earlier today (I find myself in the right state of mind quite often on the train to uni: Still tired from the previous night, but not so tired I doze off while forcing, or so awake that I can't focus my thoughts). I started my usual visualisation of her on the train alongside me, and this time, I ended up imagining a little scenario where she was sitting by the seats, resting her chin on the armrest. Then, without even thinking about it, in this visualisation I reach over, pick her up (She was about the size of a smallish dog at this point) and pull her into a hug, allowing her to sit with me for the rest of the journey. And when the day was over, I imagined her joining me on the return journey home. Not quite as vivid a mental image, but I could certainly feel like she was there beside me.
  2. Focused more on visualisation today, definitely feeling like I'm getting back in the swing of things. Instead of working on physical form, however, I focused more on movement, by starting with her in a white void, and putting different objects in the void and seeing how she reacts and interacts. It was simple things like a ball, which she poked and bounced with a forehoof, a snake which she recoiled from in fear, understandably, as well as having her do a few simple walk-cycles. Being an animator, alot of this stuff was pretty simple to envision, and will be helpful in determining her personality and character (You can tell alot about a person, especially an animated character, just by how they walk). I've also started reading the New52 Animal Man comics, partly because I loved his character in the Justice League Canada comics, but also because I found out about a very interesting concept in the Animal Man comics: The Red and the Green. The Red is a sort of abstract plane, that acts as a collective conscousness of all animal life on earth, while the Green is the same thing for all Plant Life, with the Red being where Animal Man gets his powers, and the Green being where Swamp Thing gets his. Needless to say they both invoke some pretty bizarre imagery, which could end up making for some very interesting wonderland walks...
  3. I got something similar, in my case a pendant I always wear, which I associate with Deortabe. I don't necessarily narrate or remember to interact with her with it, but she's pretty much always on my mind at least a bit.
  4. Did another session with her, first time in a long while that we just sat down and talked. Or rather, that we sat down and I talked to her. We just chatted about the events of today, which were pretty eventful, so there was alot to talk about. Still no talking back, but it was still reassuring to have her there listening. I have a feeling she'll be very handy in that regard, as a sympathetic ear.
  5. Day 25 Finally got a chance to do some active forcing, this time going back to the tried-and-true method of forcing to music. Using another Peter Crowley piece, we found ourselves in a similar vast, green countryside to last time, except with much more trees, and even a flowery meadow or two. It was a beautiful little moment for us both. I also noticed her shapeshifting a bit throughout the whole thing, sometimes being a normal deer, and sometimes taking on a more anthropomorpic appearance (I think, my visualisation is still a bit iffy). I had already established that she could change her size, but now her form as well? Now that's an interesting development. In the end, I settled down for the night and invited her to cuddle up with me. I'm not certain if she did, but I know I felt a little bit warmer last night.
  6. Could be. Or even like a Game Grumps thing, just sort of spitballing, free-association sort of thing, whatever comes to mind. I've found myself just sitting down, doing free-association, talking about anything that springs to mind to her.
  7. It has been tooooooooooo long since I had any update. Things have sorta slowed down for me and Deortabe again, with me still struggling to find time in the day to do proper effective forcing sessions. Still, I managed to squeeze in a good half hour or so today, and managed to get some interesting results: Another wonderland-visit, though my visualisation was definitely having an off-day, as nothing seemed particularly distinct or really corporeal. But while I was making smalltalk with Deortabe, I can't remember exactly how but we got onto the subject of exactly what she should call me. I told her my normal name was alright, as well as a few variations, but she seemed to like the idea of 'dad'. I was honestly pretty surprised by this, but it's still a pretty adorable sentiment. So then, 'dad' it is! Other than that, we just had a day together, watching some movies, me talking to her a bit, the usual. But again, visualisation was having an off-day and I'm pretty out of practice.
  8. Well I tend to talk to myself a whole lot, so until I've got actual sentience, I just change it so when I start talking to myself, I direct it at her instead. Otherwise, I just sort of imagine her following me around whenever I can. Seems to work well.
  9. I wonder, would it be possible to make one's tulpa able to change their size? Because the image of Deortabe as the size of a housecat sitting in my lap, or the size of a mouse and travelling around in my pocket is freaking adorable.
  10. Huh, turns out I've kinda done something like this with Deortabe before. Not exactly imposition, but picturing the area around me as a mindscape. Gives me something to do on train rides to university, sort of picture her sitting in the seat next to me, or walking around in the carriage. Visualisation is still an issue for me, but it does help hammer in the idea of her being present.
  11. Redback Spino

    Spooktober

    Sadly, living in a very classy neighbourhood in Central London means I don't get to do much in terms of halloween fun. But this year will hopefully be different, since my gf is inviting me to a halloween party at her uni. Maybe I'll get a chance to break out my OX costume again :D
  12. Oh of course, of course. I just meant that I would be taking a break for a few days from proper, all-the-way-wonderland-journeying-with-tulpa sort of daily active forcing. Stuff like passive forcing or chatting or a bit of visualisation will stay though, and it's just for a couple days. Though due to college commitments I may cut down to only active forcing every few days, as opposed to trying to squeeze in a bit every day. Plus, I've found in the past for things like guided meditations, shamanic journeying, binaural beats and the like, that I seem to get better results when I do them in long sessions every few day or every weekend, as opposed to doing short sessions every day. No idea how that works, but it's something I've noticed before.
  13. This is pretty reassuring to read. I've been trying to do at least a bit of active forcing every day, but recently I've been having trouble getting into the forcing mindset and actually doing any active sessions with Deortabe. I'm thinking we might just take a few days off to cool down.
  14. I've never actually managed to get a proper voice out of Deortabe, but in the few times when I have been able to communicate and talk with her, I've sometimes noticed a strange sort of chilled or cold sensation. I think it's some sort of surprise-response when I recognise that a thought or a sound or an image in my mind is something that I didn't consciously think of. But whatever it is, it does make it pretty apparent when something I'm seeing in my mind is not consciously from my mind. I've only had it a few times in the te I've been working, but I know it when I feel it.
  15. Pegasus. One of my greatest fantasies is to be able to fly. Boxers or briefs?
  16. Day 23 Well, I skipped another day by accident, due to personal obligations despite telling Deortabe I'd do a bit of forcing with her everyday. And it seems that she wasn't happy about it. I started doing a bit of quick passive forcing on the train to uni this morning, and the first thing she did was rest her head in my lap like a dog begging to be petted, looking up at me with big sad eyes (And presumably trying her best to not gouge my eyes out with her antlers by mistake as well!). I felt like crap for abandoning her yesterday, so today I made up for it by passive forcing all the way to uni, and again all the way back home. And it's only now that I realise that whenever I passive force, I'm usually trying to picture her or sense her presence in real life, so I'm basically sort of practicing imposition already! Well, that'll prove some handy experience when I start to properly work on imposition once I've perfected visualisation.
  17. Though it still would be absolutely awesome to meet another tulpamancer in person. Shame my closest one is apparently about 5 hours drive away :P
  18. I can give my 2 cents on a few of these questions 1. From what I've heard, tulpas don't inherently become evil unless the tulpamancer wills it to. Thing is, the methods used in Tibetan Buddhism and the methods most modern tulpamancers use are fairly different, so don't rely too much upon that story. As far as I can tell, just don't be an asshole to your tulpa and it won't be an asshole to you. 2. You know a tulpa has become fully developed pretty much when you can see it doing things or being present in your life, without having to consciously think about it. When you reach the point when it does things that you don't think of, when you can see it without having to think "Okay, now I am gonna see my tulpa before me...". But a tulpa would never really be 'complete', the same way a human is never really 'complete'. It just contines developing constantly. 3. We don't. It depends on how you look at it. You can believe your tulpa is a spiritual creature that you've created from your mind, or giving a face to the voices in your head, or just a self-induced hallucination. Pretty much go with whichever you like most. 4. There are plenty of people who have based their tulpas on existing characters, or rather, basing their appearances on them. But most guides will advise you against actually trying to make a fictional character into a tulpa, and instead letting them develop their own personality. 5. For getting rid of a tulpa for whatever reason, see any guides to 'dissipating' a tulpa. But as I said in my first reply, unless you plan on being an abusive asshole to your tulpa, I wouldn't worry too much about it turning bad. 6. Your tulpa will only take up as much of your attention as you want them to. Naturally, the more you work with your tulpa the faster it will develop, but that can be anything from half an hour a day to a whole afternoon. Pretty much however much free time you have. Hope that helps!
  19. Honestly I'd be satisfied with good, solid visualisation. Even now I can only ever get either up-close details, or a vague sillhouette of her whole form.
  20. Day 22 Another pendulum-talking session. This time, I managed to confirm that she is apparently independant and sentient to a certain degree, and does feel that she is developing, which is a big relief on my part! She also expressed wishes for me to visit her in the Wonderland more often, and focus on visualisation work for now. And she also claimed that despite not being vocal at this time, she is content with the pendulum system for now.
  21. Day 21 So I did manage to keep up passive forcing pretty much through the entire trip to the art gallery, and Deortabe seemed to enjoy her time there. Not much else happened, though I did finally come to some sort of conclusion as to where exactly I am in terms of tulpamancing: I've found that I can do visualisation fairly decently, and I can sort of reach the very first signs of imposition by being able to 'sense' her presence in reality, like I can go a whole day out and about, and be able to keep the thought in my mind that she is with me. But I can't do both at once quite yet. Well, baby steps and all I guess. I think I want to get visualisation truly perfected before I start trying to 'see' her in reality.
  22. The first time mine spoke to me, it was through text-subtitles appearing at the bottom of my point-of-view. Not a common occurence, as I hear it.
  23. Day 20 Welp, as promised, I did another active forcing session with Deortabe earlier today. Nothing too special, just a quick visualisation session, which I do seem to be slowly improving in (I can now focus on details well, and get a sort of hazy silhouette of the entire form), and another pendulum-talking session, in which she expressed interest in coming along on a field trip I'm on tomorrow. So, together we'll go then, and I'll try to keep passively forcing throughout the time, see if anything cool happens.
  24. Day 19 Fell asleep before I had a chance to write anthing yesterday... oops. But anywho, I tried out using a dowsing pendulum to communicate with Deortabe. Her responses are pretty much limited to just yes/no answers, but I was able to get some definite responses out of her. One that stood out was that she apparently wishes I could do more frequent active forcing sessions. So, I'm gonna try to do at least one session every day for the next week or so, see what we can get out of that. If it feels easy enough and doesn't clash too badly with everything else I do, I'll try to keep it up!
  25. Yah, I imagine it's alot easier to get your mind around it when one's tulpa is a more feral animal like mine, as opposed to an anthro or humanoid.